I found myself staring into a white light, my eyelids were taped open, and I was strapped to a chair in a dark room. From the darkness came a voice. And then...
that voice! It massaged my soul... as the grapes of time dripped me such sweet wine...causing me to belch lovingly and often...and then...
I realized I was in a raft in the middle of the ocean, just drifting. I was sunburned everywhere but the place behind my spoincloth. Did I only imagine the voice? Was I losing my mind from lack of KFC and wine? And then...
�Many things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.� The raft sprung a leak. And then...
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Biggest Troll on the forums? I'll give you a hint:
A tall dorsal fin approached. I thought this was my end. But it was only a cardboard prop attached to Stan Lee's head. He thought it was a funny joke...even as I began to ram his snorkel down his throat. And then...
The raft sunk, and then...
Luckily for me it turned upside down and trapped an air bubble for me to beathe. I held onto the rubber raft edges and walked along the ocean floor, having no idea where I was headed. And then...
Remember that every good friend was once a stranger.
I noticed a distant light. As i approached it I saw a neon sign that read "Davy Jones Bar and Grill". Curious i walked to the submerged establishment and noticed two beautiful mermaids swimming, seemingly in unison, somehow beconing me to enter. And then...............
I noticed Davy Jones was there, on stage, drunk, karaoke-ing a Monkees song.
I left.
And then...
I could feel myself being pulled back to that chinese resturant, so I quickly turned around and went back into the Davy Jones Bar and Grill, where I sat down, and waited for someone to take my order. And then...
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Biggest Troll on the forums? I'll give you a hint:
My aqua lung! Where did it go? Did I even have one? How was I breathing? Snot was running down my nose...and then...
I sneezed. Do you know what it's like to sneeze underwater? It's not pretty. And then...
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Biggest Troll on the forums? I'll give you a hint:
The Chinese Restaurant felt my resistance and apparent rebellion against their will, so they mounted a full assault against the Davy Jones Bar and Grill. A battle between ninjas and pirates ensued...and then...
Spongebob Squarepants invited me to his home for a drink. It had a great ocean view, and we had a nice chat. I left, knowing I needed to find dry land soon. My trapped air was getting stale. And then...
�Many things worth doing in the world had been declared impossible before they were done.� I resurfaced on the west coast, and then...
I realized I was really lost this time...and then...
I remembered that the NCNC NorCal Offices were on the west coast! I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest, I would not sleep for an instant, until I found them. But first I decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car, and I drove over to the donut shop, and I walked on up to the guy behind the counter, and he says, "Yeaaaaaahhh, wadda ya want?". I said, "You got any glazed donuts?", he said, "Naaah, we're outta glazed donuts.". I said, "Well you got any jelly donuts?", he said, "Naaah, we're outta jelly donuts.". I said, "You got any Barvarian cream filled donuts?", he said, "Naaah, we're outta Barvarian cream filled donuts!". I said, "You got any cinnamon rolls?", he said, "Naaah, we're outta cinnamon rolls!". I said, "You got any apple fritters?", he said, "Naaah, we're outta apple fritters!". I said, "You got any bear claws?", he said, "Wait a minnit... I'll go check...".
"NO, WE'RE OUTTA BEAR CLAWS!!!"
I said, "Well in that case, in that case, what DO you have?", he says, "All I've got right now is this box of one dozen starving crazed weasels.", I said, "Uh OK, I'll take that.". So he hands me the box, and I open up the lid, and the weasels jump out and they immediatly latch onto my face and start biting me all over... nomnomnom nomnomnomnom nomnomnom Oh man they were just going nuts! They were tearing me apart! You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started going through my head. I believe it went a little something like this:
D'OH! GET 'EM OFF ME! GET 'EM OFF ME! GET 'EM OFF ME! AHHHHH! OH GET 'EM OFF GET 'EM OFF OH GAH OH GAAAAAH GET 'EM OFF ME AHHH OMIGAWD AH AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHH
I ran out into the street with these flesh eating weasels all over my face, waving my arms all around and just running and running like a constipated weiner dog. And then...
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And then I noticed that Moderator8 was hot on my tail... I made a left turn... and then....
I believe that a Kheldian Gold Standard should be based on SO's, and for anything above that... there's Platinum!
Save Ms. Liberty (#5349) � Augmenting Peacebringers � The Umbra Illuminati
Save Ms. Liberty (#5349) � Augmenting Peacebringers � The Umbra Illuminati
I lost him! I rounded the next corner, and then...
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...I came face-to-face with a Rikti Death Rider accompanied by a pack of Rikti Monkies, and they all started to sing the 1st act of La_Bohème, with the Death Rider as the tenor... I looked for a way out.. but then....
I believe that a Kheldian Gold Standard should be based on SO's, and for anything above that... there's Platinum!
Save Ms. Liberty (#5349) � Augmenting Peacebringers � The Umbra Illuminati
Save Ms. Liberty (#5349) � Augmenting Peacebringers � The Umbra Illuminati
I backed into a hot dog vendor's cart, knocking it over. The angry vendor promptly lunged at me, and the Rikti mob, holding his TPF (two-pronged fork)...and then
...the earth rocked underneath my feet, a few cracks appeared in the pavement and out of the ground Zombies started to appear... and hand out of nowhere grabbed me by my collar and then....
I believe that a Kheldian Gold Standard should be based on SO's, and for anything above that... there's Platinum!
Save Ms. Liberty (#5349) � Augmenting Peacebringers � The Umbra Illuminati
Save Ms. Liberty (#5349) � Augmenting Peacebringers � The Umbra Illuminati
I pulled out the two-pronged fork that had been injected into my left butt cheek and stabbed away at the hand...and then
A piercing shriek came at me from above and as I looked up, I could see the Wailer that grabbed me disappear into a Rikti Portal just before a rain of Rikti Conscripts poured out all around me... and THEN....
I believe that a Kheldian Gold Standard should be based on SO's, and for anything above that... there's Platinum!
Save Ms. Liberty (#5349) � Augmenting Peacebringers � The Umbra Illuminati
Save Ms. Liberty (#5349) � Augmenting Peacebringers � The Umbra Illuminati
Everything went white...and then...