Blah Blah Blah Greek Gods Blah Blah

This time we'll familiarize you with some of the Greek gods. I did not include the Titans or the heroes in this list because I am not sure that they would be able to give aspects of the Well in any case. (And because I was too lazy to include them.)

So anyway... here goes nothing... less than nothing probably...

Aether: God of the upper air and light. He would come down to the lower air to help his Incarnates out more personally but… you know… allergies.

Ananke: Goddess of inevitability, compulsion and necessity. She will only accept your application for Incarnate if you have all your debt badges.

Aphrodite: Goddess of love, lust, beauty, seduction and pleasure. Although married to Hephaestus she had many lovers. Perfect Incarnate for those so into adult RP they have two accounts for the sole purpose of dual boxing in Pocket D on Virtue.

Apollo: God of music, healing, plague, prophecies, poetry and archery. Associated with light, truth and the sun. Basically the god of mood swings. He’ll put an arrow in your back and infect you with plague. Then he’ll become overwhelmed with guilt, heal the plague he gave you, write a flowery poem of apology which he’ll sing to you. If you don’t accept his apology he’ll look into the future and promise to grant you your fondest wish… on the day after you’re destined to die.

Ares: God of war, bloodlust, violence, manly courage and civil order. Yeah, he coulda been the perfect Brute Incarnate right up until the “Civil Order” bit.

Artemis: Virgin goddess of the hunt, wilderness, wild animals, childbirth and plague. In later times she was associated with the moon. As the virgin goddess of childbirth she was a decidedly unsympathetic midwife. “Oh, come on! It can’t hurt THAT much!”

Athena: Goddess of wisdom, warfare, strategy, heroic endeavor, handicrafts and reason. Not quite as popular among warriors as Ares; this may be due to her handicrafts aspect… which led her to direct her worshippers to construct macaroni art depicting their victories in battle.

Chronos: The Keeper of Time. Apparently worshipped by every person in Paragon or the Rogue Isles whose name begins with “E”.

Demeter: Goddess of fertility, agriculture, horticulture, grain and harvest. She is the sister of Zeus and together they bore Persephone. Okay, seriously, I know you’re the goddess of fertility, but your own brother? I think you take your duties a bit too far.

Dionysus: God of wine, parties and festivals, madness, drunkenness and pleasure. If you’re not from Pinnacle he’s not accepting your Incarnate application. Come to think of it, if the application is legible he’s not accepting it either.

Erebos: God of darkness and shadow. Also god of bumping into things and cursing vehemently.

Eros: God of love, sexual intercourse, cupids, desire and pleasure. Son of Aphrodite and Ares. He was often shown with wings and arrows. Taking him as your incarnate immediately violates the Teen rating and will get you banned. Good thing he didn’t follow Demeter’s example and mate with a relative since he and his mother’s kid might have been named Aphros.

Gaia: Goddess of the earth (mother earth); mother of the Titans. There are so many possible dirty jokes here involving her and the Devouring Earth that I really need to just step away from this one.

Hades: King of the Underworld and god of death, the dead and the hidden wealth of the earth. Initially he was none too happy about ending up with the whole “king of the dead” gig but he eventually acclimated. Now spends his days holed up with his dead-head friends and his gal Persephone listening to Linkin Park albums.

Hephaestus: Crippled god of fire, metalworking, stone masonry, sculpture and volcanism. He is married to Aphrodite. Considering how adulterous Aphrodite was, he probably spent more time beating his head against the anvil than he did his hammer. I’ll leave it up to you as to whether or not that was a double entendre.

Hera: Queen of marriage, women, childbirth, heirs, kings and empires. Originally she was JUST the goddess of marriage. However, every time her husband Zeus wanted to cheat on her he’d give her another responsibility so she’d be distracted from his activities. By the time the Greeks started putting aside the old gods she was so exhausted she was ready to throw in with the Christians herself just for the rest.

Hermes: God of travel, messengers, trade, thievery, cunning wiles, language, writing, diplomacy, athletics and animal husbandry. He is the messenger of the gods and the one who leads the souls of the dead to the Underworld. Is it any surprise to anyone that the god of thievery, language and cunning wiles is also the god of diplomacy?

Hestia: Virgin goddess of hearth, home and cooking. You can take her as your Incarnate if you want to, but be prepared for frequent chat messages from her like “log out, it’s almost time for dinner” and “don’t you think you should be spending some time with your family, dear?”

Poindexter: Minor god of technology, graphic novels and pseudo-culture. Depicted as living in his parent’s basement, he is the guardian and holder of comic lore, having every comic book in the history of mankind, mint condition, never read… straight into the storage bag. Speaker of fluent Klingon and Drow. Possessor of his legendary Enchanted Dice which always roll exactly what he wants them to…. Oh wait… I’m sorry… wrong section… Poindexter is a Geek God, not a Greek God.

Poseidon: God of the sea, rivers, floods, droughts, earthquakes and horses. While I’m not altogether sure why the god of all that water should also be the god of horses, that doesn’t matter much in Paragon. What might bother you, however, is his tendency to scream “Unleash the Kraken” every time you enter Perez Park. That’s not bad, really… what IS bad is the fact he holds one nostril closed with a finger while blowing out violently through the other to “unleash” it.

Zeus: The King of the gods, the ruler of Mount Olympus and the god of the sky, weather, thunder, law, order and fate. He was depicted as a regal man, mature with sturdy figure in art. Before considering taking him as your Incarnate you may want to consider that he has seduced mortal women in the forms of a swan, a shower of gold and a bull. Yeah, I know… shower of gold… but it’s only a one in three shot folks.

You forgot "Ate," goddess of criminal rashness (hubris) and punishment.

She only Incarnate-sizes the heroes; the Gods hate villains, after all.

Actually, this is proof that Persephone is an alt that someone abandoned after she 'died.' Coz no one stays in Hades that long - hell, the River Styx has since been replaced by a revolving door (more like a whirlpool swooshing PCs in and out of the underworld). Six months? Jeez, unless you're waiting for someone's Howling Twilight to finish charging, you rarely stay dead for six SECONDS.

Then there's Nox, goddess of night. She's currently a bit miffed that not only is her reign only 10 minutes a day, but the Powers That Be can't even get the path of the moon right. (Another reason why Artemis is also a bit horked off, too.)

The Muses -

• Calliope, as muse of Epic Poetry, doesn't see much action in Paragon or the Rogue Isles, unfortunately, because that 1024 character limit kills any sense of length.
• Clio, however, is quite happy with her plaques all over the place.
• Erato and Euterpe (love and lyric poetry, respectively), have been apparently trapped in the Shadow Shard and are locked out of Pocket D by the shield - hence the reason Desperate Guy is having no luck with Turndown Girl.
• Melpomene, muse of Tragedy, is kept busy by the RPers.
• On the other hand, Thalia, muse of Comedy, is kept busy by the PUGs.
• Polyhymnia, as muse of Sacred poetry, is only now just figuring out how to get past the automatic censoring in-game.
• Terpsichore, as Muse of Dance, is actually the person wielding the whip down in the dev offices beneath Grandville, beating senseless whichever dev came up with those dance animations.
• And poor Urania, muse of Astronomy, is drowning her sorrows with Nox re: the moon problem, and also the fact that the gorgeous starscapes are only seen in Praetoria.

Where are you getting Civil Order for Ares? He pretty much is war for the sake of war. He's the perfect Patron of Brutes.

As a fan of Hades, I'd suggest looking up Thanatos before calling him 'the god of death'.

You don't want to get on the wrong side of him you know.

I think I'd choose Jeff, the god of biscuits.

I just watched the new 'Clash of the Titans' last night...

After that meh-fest... Blah Blah Greek Gods indeed...

Since we are speaking of Dieties, When thinking of the God of Thunder everyone thinks of Thor from Norse Mythology. But the Song references the Greek Gods. Just a but of useless information for you.

You've got something about you
You've got something I need
Daughter of Aphrodite
Hear my words and take heed

I was born on Olympus
To my father a son
I was raised by the demons
Trained to reign as the one

God of thunder and rock and roll
The spell you're under
Will slowly rob you of your virgin soul

I'm the lord of the wastelands
A modern day man of steel
I gather darkness to please me
And I command you to kneel
Before the

God of thunder and rock and roll
The spell you're under
Will slowly rob you of your virgin soul

I am the lord of the wastelands
A modern day man of steel
I gather darkness to please me
And I command thee to kneel
Before the

God of thunder and rock and roll
The spell you're under
Will slowly rob you of your virgin soul

Nemesis: Goddess of revenge and divine justice. Sadly a certain Prince of Automatons stole her name. >.>