Best movie line... ever.

From StarShip Troopers:

*It's funny how they always want to stay friends after they rip your guts out."

Not the best quote, but just reflects my mood right now

"I'm your huckleberry"
-Doc Holiday, Tombstone

Marty: ... Your line, George.

George: Oh, uh, hey you, get your damn hands off her. Do you really
think I oughta swear?

Marty: Yes, definitely, God-****** George, swear.

Back to the Future

And for Kidengineer...

---Johnny Dangerously---
Danny Vermin: You shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once. Once!

I completely overlooked this one.

From "The Movie Hero"

Blake: "Thou movie, which art on screen, hallowed by thy name. Thy time is come, thy will be shown, in theatre as well as home. Give us this day our daily film, and forgive our bad choices, as we forgive those whose movies were so bad to choose. And lead us not into television but deliver us from that evil, for movies are the picture, and the sound, and greatest thing in the whole wide world forever and ever. Movies rule."

I start my show, Theatre of the Mind (see my sig) with it every day too, so I feel kinda dumb to have spaced it. Hell, I recite it along with the show open like a mantra.

Falling Down

*after finding out the golf cart he just shotgun-blasted, causing it to roll down the hill, has an old man's heart pills...*

D-FENS: "Well, that's too bad, 'cause it looks like your little cart's gonna drown! Now don't you wish you let me walk through your little golf course?"

Dying Old Man: "My... Golf... Course..."

D-FENS: "Yeah... Now you're gonna die wearing that stupid little hat."

Mr. Incredible: "No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes"

~The Incredibles

I don't think I've seen that movie...

Edit: Ah, AdBlock Plus

Ron Burgundy: I'm kind of a big deal.

Click for Hot Sun Splitter Action

Do comedy specials count? If not, then they should. This is a long one, and a diatribe I like even more then the Dennis Leary one in Demolition Man.

George Carlin:
We’re so self-important. So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these ******* people kidding me? Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the ******* planet?

I’m getting tired of that ****. I’m tired of ******* Earth Day, I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a **** about the planet. They don’t care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are ******. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we’re a threat? That somehow we’re gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that’s just a-floatin’ around the sun?

The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles…hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages…And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet…the planet…the planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE!

We’re going away. Pack your ****, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet’ll be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet’ll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface... nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet’s doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet’s doing. You wanna know if the planet’s all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?” Plastic… ***hole.

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that’s begun. Don’t you think that’s already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let’s see… Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh…viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.

Well, that’s a poetic note. And it’s a start. And I can dream, can’t I? See I don’t worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we’re part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron…whoooa. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while.

I adore George Carlin.

"I gotta go make a call."
"A call, huh? What kinda call?"
"This kind: HE~LP!"

I'm not a monster .... I'm just ahead of the curve ..
Joker

For me, it's easily the following exchange:

"So once he's done with the firstborn, Loki takes his friend Bartleby out for a post-slaughter drink. And over many rounds, they get into this discussion about whether or not murder in the name of God is okay. Now, Bartleby can run circles around Loki intellectually, not to mention that Loki's already half in the bag. And in the end, Bartleby convinces Loki to quit his position and take a lesser one that doesn't involve slaughter. So - very inebriated - Loki tells God he quits, throws down his fiery sword, and gives Him the finger. Which ruins it for the rest of us, because from that day forward, God decreed that all angels could no longer imbibe alcohol. Hence all the spitting"

~Metatron, Dogma

I can't believe I forgot one of my favorite scenes in Pulp Fiction:

Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: Naw, man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: No, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent: Why not?
Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent: Yeah, but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.
Jules: Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know, 'cause i wouldn't eat the filthy mother******. Pigs sleep and root in s***. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eatin' nothin' ain't got sense enough to disregard it's own feces.
Vincent: How 'bout a dog? A dog eats his own feces.
Jules: I don't eat dog, either.
Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they're definately dirty. But, a dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he'd cease to be a filthy animal? Is that true?
Jules: Well, we'd have to be talking about one charming mother****in' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more chaming than that Arnold on Green Acres. You know what I'm sayin'?

What a great movie.

Tombstone

(During a shoot out)

Cowboy: "Your so drunk, your probably seeing double!"
(Doc Holiday pulls out a second gun)
Doc Holiday: "I got two guns, one for each of you."

"There's no crying in baseball!"

Jimmy Dugan, A League of Their Own

8 pages and still no:

"There can be only one!"

"Swing away, Merrill, Swing away!"

"Vere volf? THERE Volf!"

"Lili Von Shtupp: Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted?
[sound of zipper opening]
Lili Von Shtupp: Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!"

"One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires."

Since I am playing John Henry Holliday I might as well do a Tombstone quote.

Johnny Ringo: "Well, I didn't think you had it in you."

Doc: "I'm your Huckleberry... Why Johnny Ringo, you look like someone just walked over your grave."

Johnny Ringo: "Fight's not with you Holliday."

Doc: "Well I beg to differ sir, we started a game we never got to finish. *Cough* Play for blood, remember?"

Johnny Ringo: "I was just foolin' about."

Doc: "I wasn't... And this time? It's legal."

Johnny Ringo: "All right Lunger... Let's do it."

Doc: "Say when."

My favorite part is the way Ringo's face melts into fear when Doc flatly says "I wasn't." It's a great look.