LaserJesus' Crucible of Unforgiving Criticism
By
Aisynia,
Posted on: 2009-06-12 15:14 in Mission Architect
[ QUOTE ]
One star episode!
[/ QUOTE ]
That gets a pass for being a parody.
The Heart of Artemis
Arc ID: 162423
Author: @Thornster
Rating: 4 stars
Short Version
A fun, fast paced villainous arc. One of the custom bosses is a bit too strong, and the writing could use a tune-up.
Plot Synopsis
The Heart of Artemis is a mysterious and ancient artifact, the existence of which is shrouded in mystery. Many people are after it, and you plan to beat them to the punch.
Story
The plot works. It's a classic villain story, taking things from others for your own ends. You're constantly dogged by a Canadian hero organization called CANUCK as you fight through multiple villains to get the artifact before them.
The little asides in the mission introductions explaining things that wouldn't be ready knowledge to everyone, like CANUCK's nature (as it's a custom group), the legend of the Heart of Artemis, and little obscure lore bits about Malta, who are one of the villain groups after the artifact. Personally, though, I think they could be made into mission begin clues, since we can now use those in I15.
The grammar isn't perfect, and it does hurt the dialogue a little bit. You'd be surprised how much grammar helps to make dialogue seem more realistic. Things like commas, which seem to be the thing most people mess up on, help to really set the cadence of speech. Other little touches like that. It doesn't really make it so the text is unreadable, but fixing it up would make the dialogue seem more real than you might expect.
Also, quick note, the arc gives a souvenir that has no text.
Mechanics
The first mission took place in a pawn shop map, and really help sets up the pace of the arc, which is definitely it's strong suit. A quick smash and grab consisting of beating up a few poor Freakshow goons who are in way over their head and a battle against a hero followed by a quick loot grab. All the while, you're given plot-related clues to chew on from all of the glowies. The arc keeps up this pace. None of the missions are really that short, but the missions are filled with enough details to keep the fun going.
The third mission was especially chaotic. I entered the mission to see Knives and Malta break out into a fight, after which a hammer wielding giant of a hero runs at them with a roar to join the fray. Thanks to the closeness of the spawns, this sort of situation happened a few times. It had the unfortunate side effect of finishing a defend object later on in the mission for me, but I am fine with that, because that mission was all kinds of chaotic fun.
Captain Canuck, however, has build up. I realize that's my special pet peeve, but it really does take a boss that already has some heavy hitting attacks and puts them into the "OH GOD PLEASE DON'T HURT ME" level. And this is on my Scrapper. Blasters wouldn't even have time to get to "OH GOD". Especially now that we have near complete control over the powers that custom critters get, please, make the right choice and give your bosses more attacks instead of build up.
The bosses and some of the minions of CANUCK are rather heavy on the ice. The slows could cause problems for some, but for the most part the ice attacks were limited to a couple bosses and a minion with ice blast, as far as I could tell.
Final Thoughts
If you absolutely cannot stand fighting Malta or Knives, avoid this mission, because... well, you'll fight Malta and Knives. However, if you don't mind them so much, you'll probably have a good time. You can always play on difficulty 1 if the bosses are too much.
Thanks for the review LJ ... I really need to re-visit it with the latest changes ... Lady Canuck shouldn't have build up .. she is tough enough without it.
Yeah there was a lot of ice at first now 3 bosses and 1 minion actually have it .. the others give the illusion (like with a shield of ice ... but no slow per say).
oh thanks for noting the souvenir ... I put it off and ended up forgetting .. thanks.
Char Site | My DeviantArt
Global=@Thornster
[ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the review LJ ... I really need to re-visit it with the latest changes ... Lady Canuck shouldn't have build up .. she is tough enough without it.
Yeah there was a lot of ice at first now 3 bosses and 1 minion actually have it .. the others give the illusion (like with a shield of ice ... but no slow per say).
oh thanks for noting the souvenir ... I put it off and ended up forgetting .. thanks.
[/ QUOTE ]
It was actually Captain Canuck with the build up.
EDIT: I mean Captain Quebec. I got the two names mixed up in my mind.
Rider's Ribs Restaurant Rescue
Arc ID: 163967
Author: @Zamuel
Rating: 4 stars
Quick Version
A well balanced custom group and a story that elicited a few laughs.
Plot Synopsis
The owner of Rider's Ribs has been kidnapped by a rival restaurant chain. Only you can save him and ensure their delicious ribs can be enjoyed by all!
Story
An absurd premise is definitely a plus for me when dealing with non-serious missions. This is quite possibly one of the least earth-shattering crises I've ever had to deal with in my superhero career. However, I DO love me some barbecue ribs, so saving Tyrone Rider was of the utmost importance. Screw this whole 'Rikti Invasion' thing. I'll let Statesman take that one.
Beyond the absurdity of the premise, a few dining-related puns help to keep the comedy going. The only suggestion I have to improve the story is to make it funnier than it already is. Every now and then when I'm tinkering with my humor arcs I'll notice another opportunity for humor in the dialogue and add it in. Something that's funny can always be made funnier.
Mechanics
The custom enemies that form the entirety of the enemies that you'll fight are pretty well balanced. The worst power that will get thrown at you is possibly weaken. However, on minions it's not even that huge of a debuff. The minion that used it never spawned in large enough numbers due to the large variety of minions to stack it on me and drop my accuracy to an annoying level.
Tira being only minion class, however, meant she was pretty much gone after 2 fights. I guess it's not such a big deal, but I felt kind of bad that she didn't even make it to the first boss, let alone her father.
Final Thoughts
This is one I could easily recommend if you're into silly humor. It should be easy enough for practically any character, especially if you turn it down to difficulty 1.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Thanks for the review LJ ... I really need to re-visit it with the latest changes ... Lady Canuck shouldn't have build up .. she is tough enough without it.
Yeah there was a lot of ice at first now 3 bosses and 1 minion actually have it .. the others give the illusion (like with a shield of ice ... but no slow per say).
oh thanks for noting the souvenir ... I put it off and ended up forgetting .. thanks.
[/ QUOTE ]
It was actually Captain Canuck with the build up.
EDIT: I mean Captain Quebec. I got the two names mixed up in my mind.
[/ QUOTE ]
Ok thanks, Yeah I'm checking him ... because he is not that tough ... if he doesn't alpha kill you .. hehe. Sometimes I wish we could pick powers individually ...
Again thanks 
Char Site | My DeviantArt
Global=@Thornster
Thanks for the review. It's always been a struggle with tweaking and updating this arc in trying to make it either more silly or more serious. Glad that the enemies felt balanced. There were points earlier on before I changed things where groups would chain heal, bleh.
[ QUOTE ]
This is quite possibly one of the least earth-shattering crises I've ever had to deal with in my superhero career.
[/ QUOTE ]
Blasphemy! :P
[ QUOTE ]
Ok thanks, Yeah I'm checking him ... because he is not that tough ... if he doesn't alpha kill you .. hehe. Sometimes I wish we could pick powers individually ...
[/ QUOTE ]
Psst, you can.
Trifecta Task Force
Arc ID: 164681
Author: @Ashcraft
Rating: 2 stars
Quick Version
Hardly any narrative, treats the player like a fool at times, and some parts of the plot that made my common sense go nuts.
Plot Synopsis
A hero named Trifecta needs your help to get his fractured psyche put back together.
Story
I don't know about you, but when voices come through a computer telling me that they're the fractured psyche of a hero who needs my help to find Sister Psyche, I'm not one to say "Yeah, that sounds perfectly reasonable. Let's go, disembodied voice." I mean, I realize this is a superhero game and crazy [censored] happens constantly, but I have no reason to trust this man. He doesn't really even give me a compelling reason to.
In fact, I never really get a reason or explanation for most of the things that happen. Most of the mission introductions are a few lines of text, one or more of Trifecta's personalities telling me to go to a place and do something. However, the explanations of what I'm supposed to do are usually pretty nebulous, leading to some guesswork in missions when the objectives are particularly vague.
I'm also supposed to believe that psychic entities are somehow incredibly weak to mental control. People who are mind controlled by the evil personality fragment include Rikti, Clockwork, and even Sister Psyche. (More on that last one in a bit.) The only non-psychic enemies that are being mentally dominated are normal citizens.
But seriously, I'm supposed to believe that Sister Psyche can be dominated by this guy? Sister Psyche kept Malaise under control, and he can make everyone around him go insane. I know some people have problems with the signature characters being better than normal heroes, but their power levels in canon are written to be rather incredible. Sister Psyche is more or less the top of the heap when it comes to psychic power, with the Clockwork King and Kalinda close behind.
I also had an issue with being attacked by the PPD when I went to go stop the evil personality from destroying the stabilizers that apparently were supposed to keep it in check. The story says that they were told by Sister Psyche to stop anyone from getting close to them, but A) apparently can't listen to reason, as I could have quickly explained the situation, and B) not only did not attempt to stop the little mind goblins from attacking the devices, (I saw a PPD patrol walk right by some and do nothing) but also feel it necessary to prevent other PPD from getting to the devices, as I found a couple groups fighting each other.
The fourth mission where I was supposed to capture all of the different personality fragments and put them back together was also kind of a slap in the face. The evil one was a fake with no apparent explanation. This continues in the last mission where there are numerous fake ones.
Mechanics
Man, oh man, do I hate vague objectives. I'm also not a big fan of outdoor maps. I really hate it when both are combined. After saving Sister Psyche in the first mission, which happens to be the outdoor Skyway map, I was greeted with an objective which was something like "Stop the psychic disturbance". Commence facepalm. Thankfully Synapse sticks out pretty well in a map filled with Rikti, but still. Vagueness on an annoying and large map fills me with anger.
There's the aforementioned police fighting each other and not the people they're trying to stop. That falls under the purview of Mechanics as well, as it's a problem with alignment settings.
There's also a lot of psychic attacks being thrown around in this arc. If you've got no defenses against that, it's gonna be a killer.
Final Thoughts
The plot is barely existent. It's not like it can't be followed, I just felt completely detached from the story. Compounding that were the times when my common sense was telling me that what was happening shouldn't be.
As a side note, I'm noticing that I'm catching up with my backlog. I'd say that I promise to be nice if you submit your arcs for review, but that'd go against the spirit of the title.
C'mon, I know you guys are making new arcs with the new slots you can buy! Let me at 'em!
[ QUOTE ]
As a side note, I'm noticing that I'm catching up with my backlog. I'd say that I promise to be nice if you submit your arcs for review, but that'd go against the spirit of the title.
C'mon, I know you guys are making new arcs with the new slots you can buy! Let me at 'em!
[/ QUOTE ]
I'm trying to decide which would take more guts, suggesting you could think about re-running The Consequences of War - Part 1, since I've changed it up considerably since your first run (in no small part as a result of your input), or tossing Part 2 into the ring.
Meh... I think I'll just walk away right now and let you decide if you even want to go there. 
The SOLUS Foundation - a Liberty and Pinnacle SG
"The Consequences of War" - Arcs # 227331 and 241496
Can you post your backlog so we know who's on it
I have a newly finished short arc I'd like you to try, Illpracticed Malpractice *points at sig*
[ QUOTE ]
Can you post your backlog so we know who's on it
[/ QUOTE ]
Anyone who's posted in this thread that I haven't reviewed yet.
[ QUOTE ]
As a side note, I'm noticing that I'm catching up with my backlog. I'd say that I promise to be nice if you submit your arcs for review, but that'd go against the spirit of the title.
C'mon, I know you guys are making new arcs with the new slots you can buy! Let me at 'em!
[/ QUOTE ]
Well that sounds like an invitation to me!
Arc Title: The Superadine Revolution
Arc ID#: 262739
Description: No longer content just to push Superadine and commit petty crimes, the Skulls are attempting to steal control of the entire Superadine operation from the leaders of the Family. The combination of the dark magic of the Skulls and the pure strain of Superadine would make them incredibly powerful...
Author: @SpaceNut
Alignment: Heroic, levels 20-29
Length: Approx 1 hour (5 missions)
Difficulty Level: Moderate (Elite bosses in 2 missions, but otherwise soloable)
Enemies: Family, "Skulls"
...I forgot what experience means.
The name of your thread IS a bit scary but it caught my attention.
Would you review my arc In Pursuit of Liberty - ID 221702?
Thanks
@Gypsy Rose
In Pursuit of Liberty - 344916
The Vigilante - 395861
Suppression - 374481 - Winner of The American Legion's February 2011 AE Author Contest
The Portal Bandits
Arc ID: 3326
Author: @Lazarus
Rating: 5 stars
Quick Version
A plot that makes sense, and a difficulty level that's actually challenging instead of cruel.
Plot Synopsis
An unknown alien species is stealing portal technology, and it's up to you to find their mastermind and stop them.
Story
It's funny, the more I like a story the less I have to say about it in a review. The plot makes sense, and it's obvious that the author has done a lot of editing and fine tuning. I can't remember a single typo or anything. Everything, including the random civilians you need to save, have fully fleshed out descriptions. The clues are descriptive and informative.
The only thing I can really say in the realm of criticism on the plot is the fact that you never see Cobalt Stinger, who's mentioned a few times in the arc. I don't know if he/she's not in the arc due to space concerns, but it'd be nice for him/her to be in there.
Mechanics
You will be primarily fighting the custom group in this arc. It's tagged as challenging, and it means it. While there's only one enemy that will load you up with mezzes, others do have one or two, and there's plenty of buffing and debuffing going on. I played it on difficulty 4 as usual, so I was facing a lot of them. However, this is not an arc to try and solo with a squishier character.
That said, my Scrapper who regularly tears through just about anything (except enemies with build up and such things, god I hate build up so much) was not absolutely obliterated, but I definitely was challenged far more than a normal mission. Since the arc is up front about the difficulty, I consider this a plus. Missions that are more challenging than standard content while not being just outright mean are one of the hardest things to pull off in AE. I know this from personal experience. (Damn you Dark Regen for healing retarded amounts when given to an AV!)
Nice touch on the third mission where practically all of the enemies were doing the dance rave animation. I assume that the author used the boss detail to pull that off. I was very confused when I first got into the mission, but after the boss encounter it made sense.
Final Thoughts
I had trouble deciding whether to give this 4 or 5 stars. In the end I decided that if I was having that much trouble deciding, I should probably go with the benefit of the doubt and give it 5. Definitely an arc to go play if you're looking for a challenge.
[ QUOTE ]
The only thing I can really say in the realm of criticism on the plot is the fact that you never see Cobalt Stinger, who's mentioned a few times in the arc. I don't know if he/she's not in the arc due to space concerns, but it'd be nice for him/her to be in there.
[/ QUOTE ]
She's not there for two reasons, lack of space and because Traps is not available as a set in MA. However she is the contact for arc #254599, "Of Futures Past", which takes place at the same time as "The Portal Bandits" and overlaps it in a few spots.
[ QUOTE ]
Missions that are more challenging than standard content while not being just outright mean are one of the hardest things to pull off in AE. I know this from personal experience.
[/ QUOTE ]
Yep, I've been balancing and rebalancing this group since issue 14 beta. And then came issue 15 I added several more critters and rebalanced it all over again. I like groups with a lot of variety, which is why there are 12 core members (6 minions, 4 LTs, 2 Bosses) and then a special boss and the AV. There are some more that didn't make the cut whom I'm saving for a later arc.
[ QUOTE ]
Nice touch on the third mission where practically all of the enemies were doing the dance rave animation.
[/ QUOTE ]
Came in response to complaints about the enemies not having enough personality.
How NOT to Bind a Demon Using Magic & Machinery
Arc ID: 257266
Author: @EleventhPlague
Rating: 4 stars
Short Version
A semi-serious, semi-comic mission that is fun, but could use a few tweaks here and there.
Plot Synopsis
Get a crash course in how not to be a successful villain as your hero cleans up after the mess of a demonic rampage that could have been prevented by common sense.
Story
I imagine some would be upset by the feeling of cleaning up someone's mess, and the occasional parts where you're too late, but that's part of the story's charm. The story's akin to a Seinfeld episode in a way. Just, imagine that Seinfeld has superpowers and you're playing as him. A seemingly normal situation (for a superhero) goes wrong because of people acting stupid and absurd.
However, there's a couple ways to make it better. The contact's opening dialogue lays on the "mysterious informant" too thick. He gives the player absolutely nothing to go on, I have no reason to know why I want or need the information he has, and then the favor and the information he gives me are practically the same thing. The information is that the Circle of Thorns are summoning a powerful demon, and the favor is to go stop the summoning. I'm a hero. I probably would have stopped the summoning anyway.
Later on, after the inevitable botching of the summoning and my defeat of the demon, Arachnos arrives and takes the body away, hoping to bind the demon themselves. The story states that Lord Recluse wanted the demon bound, and that Black Scorpion wanted to try and bind the demon by technological means. Lord Recluse apparently let him.
This is in character for Black Scorpion, who's dumb as a bag of rocks and would probably think that turning an unbound demon into a cyborg is the greatest idea ever, and that he should get a prize for thinking it up. It's not so much in character for Lord Recluse. I question his judgment a lot, but I can see him at least having enough sense and knowledge of Black Scorpion's intelligence to backhand him for being so stupid.
The easy fix to make this make sense is to take Lord Recluse out of the equation. The patrons often act on their own accord, and I can totally imagine Black Scorpion saying "[censored] YEAH, CYBORG DEMON MINION LET'S GO GET IT!" and then upon his failure to bind it, and in fact just making it a demon with a metal exoskeleton with laser beams, getting some Moe-style whacks from Lord Recluse. Of course, saying "Whyyyy I oughta..." afterward in the Curly voice. The story has Scirocco's minions searching for the same book you are to banish the demon in the next mission as well.
With that change, everyone's motivations would make perfect sense, and the story would be a wonderful exercise in stupidity that doesn't suspend most players' disbelief.
Mechanics
Personally, I think the first instance of the demon, pre-cyborg, should be made weaker. Not because it's too strong, but because it's stronger than the cyborg demon. The cyborg demon should be more powerful than the normal variety to really drive it home that Black Scorpion's idea of adding laser cannons and such is probably the worst idea ever. Taking away some of it's harder hitting mace attacks would do the trick.
I also would suggest turning down the countdown time on the glowies. They're a bit long. I'd also turn down the number of foci in the last mission to 4 to try and make them all spawn in the last room. That's just an aesthetic thing. While we're on that subject, Apperating should be Apparating. (Yes, I have read Harry Potter.)
Final Thoughts
After getting to the third mission, I said "If the demon got turned into a cyborg, 4 stars. If not, 3 stars." Not sure if that's important. Just wanted to share.
Thank you for the critique, LJ. Much appreciated.
Changes have been made. The dialogue's been altered a little, most of the glowies have had their interact time reduced, the Foci went from 6 to 4, and the Cyborg Demon should be the more difficult encounter now.
Again, thank you, and I hope others will enjoy this arc as well.
I've finished updating my arc for the changes in i15 so I'd appreciate a review of "The Fracturing of Time" arc id 171031. Thanks in advance!
Would it be possible to critique my arc as well, when you get the chance? (Thank you in advance. )
Defying Fate
by @Getsumei Kitsune
Arc ID: 110866
Keywords: Solo Friendly, Save the World, Sci-Fi
Length: Long (3 missions with relatively small maps)
Hey!
I finally got back to checking on the forums, so thank you very much for the review!
Regards to the grammar errors, I swear, on my screen, it looks fine, spacing and everything.Regards to the ellipses, I know you think there are too many, but I thought they were necessary where ever included to make a the point.
Yes unfortunately,I had to make some choices due to the remaining space I had after the mobs were created. I ended up cannibalizing a lot of the dialogue and even after the new patch to reduce the size,I couldn't do much,but I've done what I could. I have, however, for the most part, decided to keep some of the choices that I made, especially the part about the blood and the lack of some explanation. I'd made the choice that it'd be not important to the player in this case, granted again , space limitations drove me to that, but I still think it's valid. In my eyes, sometimes, you just be the hero, you get the basic idea of the 'bad thing' that's gone down and off you go.I thought it plausible to leave the genetic specifics to the imagination, such that somehow, her blood was able to facilitate the self duplication or it's magic or whatever the player decided.
Regards the mobs, I did my best to balance without watering them down, the one npc with KB prot, the rocket boot officionado, that's as far as he goes, really.Now I wanted Dragon to be a real pain , but I've since toned him down, now that the options became available.
All that said, I know it's no opus.But as an overly nostalgic and long winded type and after seeing what gets 5starred by a great deal of folks, I just have to accept that I and the folks I chose to assist me in testing the mission over a some weeks to fine tune the battle experience, see things differently.
For the most part, I've decided to leave it as is, as feedback has been mostly positive and move on to other arcs to continue my learning experience. It is my hope that future arcs will be more mainstream and I will be a better designer for the larger audience.
Thank you very much for the review and I appreciate your time, I'm sorry you didn't have more fun with it.
Pinnacle & Virtue:
A bunch of Heroes - Alpha Team, Legion of Order.
A bunch of Villains -Black Citadel , Pinnache.
The Perfect Drug
Arc ID: 244209
Author: @Zikar
Rating: 2 stars
Short Version
An arc with a run of the mill plot with a final encounter that will either be far too easy or far too hard.
Plot Synopsis
The Council is developing a new super-soldier serum capable of making an army of superhero killers.
Story
The plot wasn't bad, but it was nothing memorable. The Council making a better super soldier isn't really anything remarkable in the City of Heroes/Villains universe. That's really all I can say about it.
However, I don't think a Galaxy Archon is a good choice for the Longbow mole. Galaxy soldiers are said to be brainwashed by Arakhn in their info. A normal soldier would probably be a better choice.
I dunno, none of the dialogue was really spectacular, and the clues were pretty bare. The contact return dialogue consisted of a sentence or two, usually. The laundry list given by the contact in the last mission was a bit jarring. Took me out of the story a bit.
Other than that, there are a few typos and grammatical errors sprinkled throughout, nothing some editing won't fix. Only one that I definitely remember was part of the Ascendant Archon's dialogue, though should be thought.
Mechanics
Wow, that last encounter. I haven't seen an elite boss use Rage in forever. The warning also says Extreme elite bosses, and I never saw either of the allies use powers that would give them away as being Extreme, so I must assume that it's the super soldier. Thankfully due to my panic frenzy of hitting practically every inspiration in my tray when I saw the Rage activate, I was able to kill him before he got the chance to one shot me with Knockout Blow.
The author does give allies. A boss with high amounts of force field and energy blast, and an elite boss with spines and something else. I didn't have him for much of the mission. Both of the allies are required objectives, and I didn't want them around making the final boss far too easy.
The thing is, when your final boss hits hard enough to one shot a Scrapper, and gets enough to-hit to make Elude look like normal SR toggles, with the caliber of help given, the boss encounter will play out in one of two ways:
A) The allies will help you kill it so fast that you swear you just fought a minion.
B) The Elite Boss will kill your allies so fast you swear that they were minions, and then do the same to you after your help is gone, unless you're very good at taking out powerful enemies.
Neither of these scenarios are good scenarios. Overpowered help is hardly ever a good thing, and an Elite Boss who hits so hard that even Scrappers are in danger of being killed in a couple hits by a non-AV level enemy is never a good thing. Just say no to Rage. Unless you happen to play a character with Super Strength. Then you should say yes to Rage, but only with the character you play.
Final Thoughts
If not for the final encounter, this wouldn't have gotten 2 stars. Encounters like that really are a no-win situation for everyone involved.
One star episode!