LaserJesus' Crucible of Unforgiving Criticism

Ouch.

I think I'll remove Rage, although the mental image of you freaking out and hitting everything in your insp tray as fast as you can does amuse me somewhat.

Edit:
I reread everything, fixed a few mistakes. Rewrote most of the final mission's dialogue to remove that "shopping list" that was there. Removed Rage from the Super Soldier.

I kept Simms as a Galaxy Archon but added a bit to his description mentioning that he resists the brainwashing with experimental Peacebringer drugs.

The Superadine Revolution
Arc ID: 262739
Author: @SpaceNut
Rating: 3 stars

Short Version
A good plot except for one part that stuck in my craw, and a few objective choices that have the potential to really annoy some people.

Plot Synopsis
Work with a Family informant to defuse a brewing gang war between the Skulls and the Family over the Superadine trade.

Story
For the most part, I didn't have an issue with the plot. However, where does the contact get off by threatening me? For starters, I'm not aware of how the gang war is my fault, as it was clearly in the works from the beginning judging by the clues I find, and as I'm currently working to stop the entire thing, and putting quite a few Skulls and Family members in jail in the process, I'm not sure the FBSA really would care. A Family goon's word isn't very good, either. This is how I imagine it going down:

Family goon: "Yeah, I have information that Phantom Protector just started a gang war with the Skulls!"
FBSA: "Really? What's your name, and what evidence do you have?"
Family goon: "Well, my nickname is The Snitch, and while Phantom Protector was following a lead I gave him about a Superadine operation, the Skulls started trying to take over the Family!"
FBSA: *click* "@#$@ing prank calls."

I can't think of a single superhero that would take that kind of crap from a mob flunky. As soon as he threatened to betray Batman, that goon would be dangling over a building so fast that he'd get whiplash.

I don't have a problem with working with a Family snitch who's willing to sell out his organization. That's perfectly reasonable. In fact, I don't even see a need for him to threaten me. Any superhero worth their salt would stop a gang war or takeover as soon as they learned about it. I should have cracked him on the side of the head with the hilt of my sword just for suggesting that I wouldn't.

However, the writing was very technically proficient. I didn't spot any typos or egregious spelling and grammar errors. Doesn't mean there aren't any typos, but I certainly didn't spot any.

Mechanics
The custom skull enemies were pretty well put together. Mostly Mace and Axe, for Sluggers, Slammers, and Choppers, and the LTs were obviously Assault Rifle. The Bone Daddies may pose a threat if they hit you with Soul Drain, but that's the way Bone Daddies have always been.

The custom Elite Boss Skull leaders were more or less the same as the Bone Daddies, but with Dark Miasma as a secondary. From what I could tell, they just had the heal and the hold powers, so nothing too overpowering there.

However, a couple of the missions are defeat all, and the last mission requires you to backtrack to find clues after you rescue a captive. The defeat alls were only a minor inconvenience to me, as the maps were of reasonable size, but I can see a lot of players screaming bloody murder at the thought of having to clear a map. The backtracking in the last mission was a bigger annoyance, as the captive spawns in the back, and the clues spawned in the front. It'd probably be best just to have the clues also spawn in the back.

Final Thoughts
The experience wasn't an unpleasant one on the whole, but really, being threatened by a Family goon who probably has multiple warrants out for his arrest really annoyed me.

Thanks for the feedback!

I've been going over the story trying to figure out how to make it flow past the first mission without having the Family basically begging for help, but came up empty. If you have ideas on how to improve that, I'd love to hear them.

Glad you liked the custom skulls!

I might get rid of the defeat all in the 3rd mish, but I do want to keep the one in the second mish. I made sure to avoid anything larger than medium maps for the defeat alls.

And damn it, I thought I had fixed the glowies in the last mission to spawn at the back. When did you run the mission? If you ran it tonight, then my fix didn't stick or something extra annoying like that. If you ran it earlier but just now posted the review, then it should be fixed. I ran it after changing the location of the objectives and the two glowies spawned in the back room after rescuing the boss in the same room, which is what I intend to have happen.

Edit: I think I've figured out why this may be bugging, but I most likely won't get the chance to fix it until August. I've made a note, though.

@SpaceNut - My 50s, AE arcs and current projects at ParagonWiki

Considering that the contact is a spineless snitch, him asking me to stop the Skulls even though he's probably selling out some of the Family in the process just to save his own hide is well within character for him. Hell, you could even have him turn states if you wanted.

Yeah, I ran this the same night I posted the review, so the glowies are in the front in the current version. Sometimes the spawn locations are counter intuitive. I've found plenty of maps where Middle is the actual Back for glowies. It's a common problem on lab maps, and one of my friends had the same problem on an office map.

If you feel the need to keep the defeat alls, do it. The comment wasn't so much of a criticism as it was a warning to you that some people hate defeat alls so much that they'll one star you just for having one, and a warning to anyone who is reading this that it has defeat alls, so they should avoid playing it if defeat alls annoy them that much.

Hey there, LaserJesus. Having an arc reviewed would be awesome. Are you looking for folks to play one of yours in advance? I'm afraid I missed your original thread and information on such, if you are.

If you don't mind reviewing yet another arc, have a look at this one!

Title: City of Ho Ho Ho, or A Claus in Paragon
Arc ID: 18775
Creator’s Global Name: @Tubbius
Faction: Heroic
Difficulty Level: Played thoroughly on Difficulty 1. Easy to Medium. Mission sets experience level to 5-20, as you're facing Outcasts and Trolls.
Synopsis: See signature, below! A hero claiming to be Santa Claus needs help being a proper hero in Paragon City!
Story Type: Slightly humorous, easy-going origin story.
Mission Count: 3
Features: a trio of fun NPC's, some very likely unique glowies, and a souvenir that actually ties to the story.

[ QUOTE ]
Considering that the contact is a spineless snitch, him asking me to stop the Skulls even though he's probably selling out some of the Family in the process just to save his own hide is well within character for him. Hell, you could even have him turn states if you wanted.

Yeah, I ran this the same night I posted the review, so the glowies are in the front in the current version. Sometimes the spawn locations are counter intuitive. I've found plenty of maps where Middle is the actual Back for glowies. It's a common problem on lab maps, and one of my friends had the same problem on an office map.

If you feel the need to keep the defeat alls, do it. The comment wasn't so much of a criticism as it was a warning to you that some people hate defeat alls so much that they'll one star you just for having one, and a warning to anyone who is reading this that it has defeat alls, so they should avoid playing it if defeat alls annoy them that much.

[/ QUOTE ]

I may do quite a bit of rewriting on my vacation regarding the contact dialogue. My biggest issue is that I wanted to avoid the typical hero-contact relationship of "Something bad is happening! You have to save me/us/them/the city/the world!" and have the hero be somewhat forced to help the Family put the Skulls in their place.

I fixed the glowies a couple nights ago, but I just realized that I have the last map as a random office, which means the glowies are spawning essentially at random, depending on how the map is bugged. Once I get back from vacation I'll pick a map and make sure the glowies always spawn where I want them.

@SpaceNut - My 50s, AE arcs and current projects at ParagonWiki

[ QUOTE ]

Hey there, LaserJesus. Having an arc reviewed would be awesome. Are you looking for folks to play one of yours in advance? I'm afraid I missed your original thread and information on such, if you are.

[/ QUOTE ]
I don't require people to play my missions, but feel free to do so anyway!

That said, sir, have much fun toying around with Santa! I humbly but eagerly await your review!

Hey LJ, feel like returning the favor? Any of my current three, Dream Paper (1874), Bricked Electronics (2180), or The Bravuran Jobs (5073) would be greatly appreciated!

..unless you did 'em in an old dead thread, then never mind.

Still there, LJ?

In Pursuit of Liberty
Arc ID: 221702
Author: @Gypsy Rose
Rating: 2 stars

Short Version
A whimsical tongue in cheek story that was marred by overpowered allies and annoying enemies.

Plot Synopsis
Travel through time to repeatedly rescue a girl who is nearly as bad as Fusionette when it comes to being kidnapped to ensure that she fulfills her destiny to become a hero.

Story
The plot has an underlying humor to it that I like. It's obvious that the story doesn't take itself seriously, and the ridiculous things that happen in it are fine in my eyes for that reason. However, the comedic energy doesn't hold up completely throughout. Comedy is not an easy thing to do, so there's no real quick fix solution. The only real thing that I can suggest outright is to increase the volume of humor. Whether the jokes will work or not, however, is a subjective thing and also a tricky one.

Mechanics
Practically every custom ally is set to extreme something, or has a custom power selection that has extreme powers. They're also mostly Elite Bosses, including an Elite Boss level Statesman. Even a character that isn't great at soloing doesn't need help that's as powerful as that. A Boss with custom power selections to give them a couple extra attacks and powers for survivability is sufficient. Statesman should also probably be the Boss version. As it stands, he's hitting enemies for 900+ damage.

The custom group was fine, except for two things. Fearsome Stare and Rain of Fire. Fear is something that most people do not resist, and it carries a hefty to-hit debuff with it. Not to mention the long duration. Putting it on anything less than a boss is too much, since running into one in every other spawn, or getting unlucky and having multiple ones show up is murderous.

The Rain of Fire is bad because it causes the allies (and by extension, pets) to run like a madman in a random direction, aggroing everything they get near. On the last mission (which is on an outdoor map) I rescued Liberty Rose (who is a required objective) and in the very next fight a minion dropped Rain of Fire on me. Liberty Rose bolted past 3 other groups, past a fence, where she aggroed more groups, and then lost sight of me. This caused the things she had aggroed to turn on me. Now I was facing down about 5 of the aforementioned LTs with Fearsome Stare. As you can imagine, I was a very unhappy camper.

Also, what's up with the Devoured Pyrisses who randomly spawn in the third mission? Elite Bosses just standing around with no explanation as to why is not really a good thing, especially Devoured Pyriss, as she's a rather specific EB for a specific arc. Without her name or bio changed, it's kind of like having a bunch of Madames of Mystery standing around.

Final Thoughts
I wanted to like the arc, but the mechanical problems killed it for me. By the end I was just far too frustrated by it.

The Fracturing of Time
Arc ID: 171031
Author: @Tahlana
Rating: 3 stars

Short Version
An arc that uses some non-conventional usage of the Mission Architect to tell its story, with good custom enemies and interesting use of standard ones. The only problem is a glaring plot hole in the story.

Plot Synopsis
An alien race's plan to save their race from conquerors turns into a threat to the entire universe. It's up to you to save all of existence.

Story
The story is surreal. I like surreal. The way the story is told is different. I like different. I like seeing the Mission Architect used to tell stories outside of the norm.

However, there's a few problems. The first one I ran into was the device the Kydrosi plan to use to save their race from extinction. First, why would they build a device that they themselves cannot use? Second, why doesn't it affect anyone inside of the building it's housed in? It's never explained why they need an outsider to activate it, or why everyone inside is immune to its effects.

Considering that it turns all of the Kydrosi into energy beings outside of space/time, the latter is a handwave to explain why the allies inside of the mission don't magically disappear when you activate it. However, it's not explained why it doesn't affect them in the context of the story. It just says that it won't affect them. Same with the requirement of the outsider. It's simply a plot device to explain why I need to do it at all. Unfortunately, it's not explained in the context of the story, and frankly, I can't think of an explanation that would make any sense. The story would be better served if the reason why I am needed is because the conquerors have taken over the lab, and no one can activate it as they have all been taken hostage or are being murdered.

The second is the sudden time jump in the second mission. I understand that it's supposed to show that I've been separated from the normal flow of time by being in another plane of existence, but it didn't really end up portraying that effectively to me.

First, since the player can't really have any meaningful dialogue, suddenly being jaunted from time and having the player character's memories being somehow from before the events of the Kydrosi is entirely on the player to imagine.

Second, if I don't remember this mysterious shadow man at all, what reason do I have to enter a yawning Void of Doom at his command?

Third, the time/memory jaunting is only used at that point, meaning that it really is not necessary to the story. Considering the problems it can cause, and since I had these problems others might as well, it's probably doing more harm than good.

The last plot hole, and this really is the big one for me, is a spoiler of a reveal later in the arc. So if anyone reading this review wants to play the arc and not have an important plot reveal spoiled, skip the next part.




The contact is a fragment of myself created by my trip into the Shadow Void, and always has been. It was not a Kydrosi Scientist at the beginning like it claimed. The story says as much, and the souvenir confirmed it. Considering that I activated the device which caused the Kydrosi to become fragmented and attempt to destroy all of reality, and that this is what caused me to enter the Shadow Void, and that me entering the Shadow Void is what caused this fragment to exist outside of space/time, and the fragment is what initially brought me there to activate the device in the first place, then none of the events of the arc should have happened.

Even if we throw out the intrinsic paradox of having to cause the near apocalypse before the near apocalypse can begin, the problem still exists that the fragment of myself knows exactly what caused the near apocalypse, and yet brings me to the Kydrosi homeworld specifically to cause it.

Considering that using the device causes them to become mere fragments of themselves that seek only destruction that cannot be saved, and in the end will be destroyed when I save reality, then the best possible thing to do is nothing. Let them be destroyed by the conquering aliens. The Kydrosi are doomed, no matter what. The contact knows all of this, as he experienced it first hand. Yet he still brings me to the planet to cause this whole mess, for no reason other than to cause it. Thanks to this flaw, the entire arc is rendered nonsensical.




Spoiler's over. You can start reading again. Like I said, I love some of the things you've done here, and I give you points for trying for something out of the ordinary. It's a noble cause. It's also a very difficult one.

Mechanics
All in all, the custom enemies are pretty well done. They definitely look like classic Sci-Fi aliens. Their powers are pretty well balanced. Nothing is too incredibly powerful, though the bosses in the 4th mission that use ice powers could prove nasty to some. Those slows can stack up pretty high on someone without resistance to them.

I love the use of the Storm Elementals in the 4th mission. Very nice touch. Seriously. This mission is my favorite part of the arc. Even though I gave it a 3-star rating (which isn't a black mark from me, by the way), this mission is reason enough to play this arc. It's hands down the best non-standard enemy group that I have seen in an AE mission. It will definitely be a huge mind trip for anyone who hasn't seen Storm Elementals before. Considering that they're only in one mission for Villains and hardly anyone goes to the Shadow Shard, I imagine that's a lot of players.

A couple little technical glitches. The boss in the third mission said $Name and $Heshe instead of my name and the proper gender. I'm not sure if capitalization matters for $name, but it definitely does for $heshe/$HeShe. In order for it to be capitalized and work properly, you need to use the latter. You may as well switch it to $name instead of $Name at the same time, as even $name will sub in my name exactly as I've spelled it.

The other one is that the destructible objects described their destruction as dialogue. I imagine you meant to do that, but it's pretty odd. The system text would be a far better place for that.

Final Thoughts
I really like what you've done with crafting the experience of the arc with both the dialogue and the mission settings. Without any plot holes, this would have been a 5, easy. Without the last one I mentioned, this'd be a 4. However, that last one was just way too much for me. Perhaps some others won't care as much as I do that the story makes sense logically, but I personally just couldn't get past it.

I played at level 50, on difficulty 4. This was with my Scrapper. I've played him on difficulty 4 since the difficulty settings were introduced, so it's a proper baseline for him as far as challenges go. If I ever happen to be required to play at a low level with him, I generally turn it down to difficulty 2, since I prefer to fight things at their proper rank.

In addition to difficulty 4 being the proper level of challenge for my high level Scrapper, it's also good to see how things ramp up if a character does happen to run through at a higher difficulty setting.

As for the boss issue, if I ever have a custom boss as part of an enemy group, I tend to drop in at least one of each in one of my missions as a non-required boss spawn, so it will be seen, and if a character can't defeat it, they can just skip past it.

Hey LJ. Not wanting to be a pain--furthest thing from it, honestly!--but I was wondering if my City of Ho Ho Ho, 18775, could fit in your queue anywhere? Thanks!

Not sure if you're still taking requests, but I would appreciate a review of my arc: #158813: The Computer Loves You.

I'm still accepting reviews, and yes, your arc is on my list Tubbius. Sometimes I get really sporadic with my reviews. Real life and all, you know the drill.

Defying Fate
Arc ID: 110866
Author: @Getsumei Kitsune
Rating: 3 stars

Short Version
A short arc that should be solo friendly for characters of every level, but didn't really leave a strong impression on me.

Plot Synopsis
Save the life of a young genetic engineer from the evil machinations of the corporation she works for.

Story
The plot itself makes sense. Evil head of genetic corporation makes deal with a demon to gain super powers and wishes to use genetically engineered supersoldiers to rule the earth. Standard stuff. However, it's kind of bare bones. All of the missions are really short, with only a couple of clues that don't contain much information. There aren't any patrols to spruce up the missions with dialogue, either. That would especially be nice in the first mission, where there's council for no real reason. A patrol talking about why they're in the abandoned lab would be nice.

I was also disappointed that there weren't any bio-roids in the last mission, as the threat of them was more or less what started the arc.

Mechanics
Like I said in the short review, the arc is solo friendly for all levels. Unfortunately, in one part it's a little TOO solo friendly. The custom demon in the second mission is a lieutenant, and its bio states that it's a powerful demon. I killed it so fast that I didn't even see what its powersets were, and I had to go check my NPC tab to read its dialogue, which consisted of it bragging about how much more powerful it was than me. I know I'm a level 50 scrapper, meaning that I'm a killing machine, but this guy should really be a boss. On heroic, he'll scale back down to a lieutenant anyhow, and he won't leave people like me scratching their head at how this guy is considered any kind of powerful.

The other thing is the ally in the last mission. Does it really need to be extreme on both powersets? I know assault rifle and devices don't really have anything super spectacular that one shots enemies all the time, but it seems like it's more than necessary, as you never fight anything stronger than a boss in the mission.

Final Thoughts
This isn't a bad arc by any means, and I wouldn't suggest against playing it. However, the arc could be made far better with some extra stuff to flesh it out some more.

I would really appreciate some feedback on my story arc entitled:
Oh No, not zombies AGAIN?!?
It has been played by a few friends and one other to my knowledge. I think it might need some tweaks but is definitely playable.
There is a sequel in the works but I am having trouble plotting atm.
Danke,
Cabin Boy

City of Ho Ho Ho, Or A Claus in Paragon
Arc ID: 18775
Author: @Tubbius
Rating: 4 stars

Short Version
A mix of good old fashioned Christmas Special ridiculousness and an uncertainty over the Tubbius Claus character's mental state made this mission have a certain charm.

Plot Synopsis
Tubbius Claus is a hero who claims to be Santa Claus, and he needs your help protecting his list from naughty criminals!

Story
While I never laughed out loud, I had a definite feeling of amusement throughout the arc. That may, of course, be because I imagined Tubbius' dialogue being read in the South Park Santa Claus voice. However, it's got the classic Miracle on 34th Street angle of Santa seeming to be an insane person, which definitely helps. The main villain continues the insanity by holding a grudge against Santa because he never had a good Christmas in his childhood, and taking it out on an old man who works at City Hall who may or may not even BE Santa.

The missions could use a little more sprucing up, though. I love the Outcasts and Trolls being mad at Santa for not getting presents. A patrol or two with dialogue of that nature would add some spice to the missions and keep that joke up.

Mechanics
The arc is perfect for low level characters. You fight Outcasts and Trolls, with 2 custom bosses, neither of which have anything powerful. Tubbius as an ally doesn't get in the way too much, mostly dropping a couple control powers here and there and healing you when your life gets low.

It's a real shame there's no Christmas present option for glowies in the MA. Even better would have been Christmas present defendable objects. Having to save Christmas presents from naughty Outcasts would have been brilliant.

Final Thoughts
A charming arc that's lowbie friendly. Definitely a good one to play, especially if you're in the Christmas spirit.