The Doom Crier's Bible

Steelclaw wrote:

[ QUOTE ]
Ponies? Doom with hooves.

[/ QUOTE ]

Darn right, they are!



[ QUOTE ]
Dogs and cats living together! Mass Hysteria!

[/ QUOTE ]

I decided long ago that every doom/rant post ever should end with this line.

--NT

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They all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
But I showed them, and nobody's laughing at me now!

If I became a red name, I would be all "and what would you mere mortals like to entertain me with today, mu hu ha ha ha!" ~Arcanaville

[ QUOTE ]
You'll be able to map out a character's pores and blemishes!

[/ QUOTE ]

MMMmmmm.... pore mapping...

/HomerSimpson

~MM

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This thread would be a hit, but accuracy was nerfed. At least 14 times so far, plus however many times they did it without telling anyone.

Too bad. It looked like a critical.

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"Mastermind Pets operate...differently, and aren't as easily fixed. Especially the Bruiser. I want to take him out behind the woodshed and pull an "old yeller" on him at times." - Castle

[ QUOTE ]
The Doom Crier's Bible

[/ QUOTE ]

But the Doom Crier's Bible was already written ages ago...

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How many times are we going to link to the Apoc ponies bit from Robot Chicken?

I mean really...get your own joke and stay away from mine

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Huh?

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[ QUOTE ]
you forgot e.d. doom!!

where we lost a ton of our player base in one siingle shot ..

[/ QUOTE ]

Steelclaw's thread is for forward-looking doomsayers. Look to the future for your coming doom!
i'd suggest starting your own thread if you want to whinge about how dooooooms that are now years past will end up destroying the game.

Cogs and DATs syncing together! Class hysteria!
Apocalypse cow!

---

Dr. Todt's theme.
i make stuff...

[ QUOTE ]
Huh?

[/ QUOTE ]

My guess is that Calash thinks you and NuclearToast are actually the same person. Seems reasonable to me, but then i haven't taken any medication.

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Dr. Todt's theme.
i make stuff...

[ QUOTE ]
How many times are we going to link to the Apoc ponies bit from Robot Chicken?

I mean really...get your own joke and stay away from mine

[/ QUOTE ]
You just quoted it, I linked the video. I expected it to end there. However, I was mistaken. Therefore...

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How many times are we going to link to the Apoc ponies bit from Robot Chicken?

I mean really...get your own joke and stay away from mine

[/ QUOTE ]
You just quoted it, I linked the video. I expected it to end there. However, I was mistaken. Therefore...

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

[/ QUOTE ]Damnit, it was you, not NuclearToast. Still, Calash is on to you, he knows that you and The_Player are really the same person!

MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooood!

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Dr. Todt's theme.
i make stuff...

QR

Best doom post evar

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Crime of Fashion Level 50 Rad/Rad Corrupter
My Toons
My Rad/Rad Corrupters Guide
Mindscape - Reworking

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How many times are we going to link to the Apoc ponies bit from Robot Chicken?

I mean really...get your own joke and stay away from mine

[/ QUOTE ]
You just quoted it, I linked the video. I expected it to end there. However, I was mistaken. Therefore...

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

[/ QUOTE ]Damnit, it was you, not NuclearToast. Still, Calash is on to you, he knows that you and The_Player are really the same person!

MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooood!

[/ QUOTE ]

Strange, this is the fourth time this month I've been accused of being the same person as someone else....

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Nice one! That was a good read. And I liked Demobot's checklist, too.

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Currently published Mission Architect arcs:
Arc ID# 70466: From the Abyss.
Arc ID# 403174: The Serpent's Revenge.
Arc ID# 534236: The Clockwork Angel.

Any good bible really needs an appendix or two.. just to round it out.. so here's a few more for the road...

Dominator Buff?? Doomination DOOOOOOOOM!! Dominators are already the closest thing to a jack-of-all-trades archetype we have in this game. They hold AND they blast. I mean come ON! What next? Hey, let's have them be the first AT to have a third-ary power set! Or better still; let's allow all their pool powers to draw from existing power sets. At 6th level they can draw from the scrapper offensive set. At 14th level they can use those neat-o defender primaries. And by-gawd let's give 'em tank defense at level 20!!!!

Demon Pets for Masterminds?! By the Power of Darkness I Summon the Demon DOOOOOOOOOOOM!! Demons as pets?! How bad of an idea is this?! Just trying to housebreak my new puppy ended up with me having to replace most of the carpetting in the first floor of my house! What the heck sort of damage is an un-housebroken DEMON going to do? After the first week the fire department will stop taking my calls!! And where will the new Mastermind Pet Madness stop?! Pirate pets? Civil War Re-enactor pets?! CH-Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Pets?!

Dual Pistols as a Power Set?! Two Fisted DOOOOOOOOM!! What is it with using two hands to do everything? Wasn't broadsword and assault rifle good enough for you people?! Noooo... We need a sword in EACH HAND! What's next? Dual Maces? Dual Battle Axes? And it won't stop there. Some genius will create a Chimpanzee hero who can balance on one foot while holding a sword in the other!! That's right folks.... TRI-BLADE POWER SET!! You think that will end it? OH HECK NO!! Those *%&$* Kheldians will say "Hey... I have at least half a dozen tentacles here... why can't I have a sword or six?!"

I.... I need to go take my meds... I... maybe I'll be back later...

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My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

Absolute riot, Steel!

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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How many times are we going to link to the Apoc ponies bit from Robot Chicken?

I mean really...get your own joke and stay away from mine

[/ QUOTE ]
You just quoted it, I linked the video. I expected it to end there. However, I was mistaken. Therefore...

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

[/ QUOTE ]Damnit, it was you, not NuclearToast. Still, Calash is on to you, he knows that you and The_Player are really the same person!

MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooood!

[/ QUOTE ]

Strange, this is the fourth time this month I've been accused of being the same person as someone else....

[/ QUOTE ]

Does that mean I am talking to myself?

SpoooOooky

You better like pie, because if I am you then we both need to like pie....OR ELSE!!

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What this games needs is another Frank Sinatra, so I can get you into bed!

-wanders out, see if anyone figures what song that went too-


JJ

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I delete more 50s, then you'll ever have.
http://www.pandora.com/people/jjdemon

[ QUOTE ]
This reminded me of something I've had saved for a loooooong time.

[ QUOTE ]

Dear Issue [ ] Doomcrier:

You claimed in your...

[ ] badly written
[ ] whiny
[ ] uninformed

...post that Issue [ ] will surely...

[ ] force everyone to group.
[ ] force everyone to solo.
[ ] cause all the casual players to leave the game forever.
[ ] cause all the "hardcore" players to leave game forever.
[ ] ruin City Of Heroes beyond all repair.
[ ] lead directly to the fall of human civilization.

In addition, you...

[ ] made an inept attempt to flame the developers.
[ ] claimed that the developers are specifically out to get you/your AT.
[ ] feebly attempted to preemptively counter rebuttals by suggesting/stating that any who do not share your opinion are "fanbois" or some similarly asinine term.
[ ] claimed that any attempt to improve the balance of the game is an inherently bad thing.
[ ] showed a lack of respect for players whose playstyles do not match your own.

Your claims are weak and unsupportable because...

[ ] they do not contain a shred of hard evidence.
[ ] they are flatly contradicted by the known facts.
[ ] they are shot through with logical fallacies that would get you laughed out of a 6th-grade debate class.
[ ] they betray a blatant disregard, outright hostility, or simple ignorance of the most basic principles of game design.

Specifically, you have failed to account for the fact that...

[ ] unless you are prepared to prove that you have telepathic powers, you have no business claiming to know what the developers were "really" trying to do.
[ ] people like you have predicted the imminent doom of COH during every previous Issue's launch, and every time you have been wrong.
[ ] contrary to your claims, the developers have consistently shown themselves to be intelligent and responsive throughout the game's history.
[ ] nobody promised you that your "nerfed" power/AT/playstyle was always going to work the way it did before.
[ ] this update is only on the Test server, and not a single proposed change is guaranteed to go live, as has been repeatedly proven in past releases.


Furthermore, you apparently need to be reminded that...
[ ] this new content doesn't cost you another dime, unlike in most other MMO's where you would have to shell out $20 or more for it.
[ ] calling out the devs is not only against the forum rules, but also completely ineffective and counterproductive.
[ ] you have no idea what the majority of players want, since you and every player you have ever known combined add up to less than 1% of the population.
[ ] your subscription fee is not so high that the cancellation you threatened/promised is going to scare the devs.
[ ] you just received or are about to receive a free respec.

In conclusion, it is highly recommended that you...

[ ] rework your combat tactics, because being "gimped" by a power nerf is usually a sign that you relied to heavily on that power...
[ ] turn off your Caps Lock key...
[ ] stop trying to speak for anyone but yourself...
[ ] start spellchecking and using halfway decent grammar and sentence structure in your posts...
[ ] quit throwing tantrums and grow up a bit...

...although it is more likely that you will simply repeat this process when Issue [ ] is released.


[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't create it and it's not a response to anyone in particular, but feel free to use it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd be happy to use that but it's too long to fit into my sig. >:/ Guess I'll have to stick to ol' Joe's quote down there, which in some ways boils down to the same thing.

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[ QUOTE ]
What this games needs is another Frank Sinatra, so I can get you into bed!

-wanders out, see if anyone figures what song that went too-


JJ

[/ QUOTE ]

Cause what the world needs now
is another folk singer
like I need a hole in my head.

Teen Angst by Cracker

I <3 David Lowery.

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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What this games needs is another Frank Sinatra, so I can get you into bed!

-wanders out, see if anyone figures what song that went too-


JJ

[/ QUOTE ]

Cause what the world needs now
is another folk singer
like I need a hole in my head.

Teen Angst by Cracker

I <3 David Lowery.

[/ QUOTE ]

What we really need is music a little bit more apropriate for the thread's doom crying theme...

---

Dr. Todt's theme.
i make stuff...

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What this games needs is another Frank Sinatra, so I can get you into bed!

-wanders out, see if anyone figures what song that went too-


JJ

[/ QUOTE ]

Cause what the world needs now
is another folk singer
like I need a hole in my head.

Teen Angst by Cracker

I <3 David Lowery.

[/ QUOTE ]

What we really need is music a little bit more apropriate for the thread's doom crying theme...

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay... it's MY Doom Crier's Bible.. so *I* get to choose the music for it... and I choose ...

(to the tune of “Click Click Boom” by Saliva)

On those lonely days
Strung out on C.O.H.
Yo, I was up in my room in a Forum Haze!
Feelin’ raided
So jaded
Just a jerk with a beef and time and a need for some complainin’
All this
I rant
I rage
I vent it all on the page
Make it
Break it
Take it
Until I’m not frustrated

Post Post Doom
Watch me drop another forum post
Sayin’ what I hate the most
Post Post Doom
I’m comin’ down with the big blame
And I know it’ll break game!
Post Post Doom
I’m a troll sensation; Screamin’ round the nation
My endless vituperation!

I can see it in my head
As I start a brand new thread
The Dev’s have made a big mistake
And soon the game it will be DEAD
Post Post Doom

What the hell is wrong with me?
My argument ain’t perfect
But still you will hear much cryin’ [censored] bitchin’ from me
Cause it seems to be my big destiny
So just sit back and relax and be my brand new forum minion
Your disbelief will be forgiven
I’ll give you your new opinion!
Oh Yeah!

Post Post Doom
Watch me drop another forum post
Sayin’ what I hate the most
Post Post Doom
I’m comin’ down with the big blame
And I know it’ll break game!
Post Post Doom
I’m a troll sensation; Screamin’ round the nation
Givin’ you new education!

Why have I succumbed to rage?
Why’m I typin’ out this page?
And will I make them change their minds?
Or just look like a big behiiiiiiiiiind?
Post Post Doom

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My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What this games needs is another Frank Sinatra, so I can get you into bed!

-wanders out, see if anyone figures what song that went too-


JJ

[/ QUOTE ]

Cause what the world needs now
is another folk singer
like I need a hole in my head.

Teen Angst by Cracker

I <3 David Lowery.

[/ QUOTE ]

What we really need is music a little bit more apropriate for the thread's doom crying theme...

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay... it's MY Doom Crier's Bible.. so *I* get to choose the music for it... and I choose ...

(to the tune of “Click Click Boom” by Saliva)

On those lonely days
Strung out on C.O.H.
Yo, I was up in my room in a Forum Haze!
Feelin’ raided
So jaded
Just a jerk with a beef and time and a need for some complainin’
All this
I rant
I rage
I vent it all on the page
Make it
Break it
Take it
Until I’m not frustrated

Post Post Doom
Watch me drop another forum post
Sayin’ what I hate the most
Post Post Doom
I’m comin’ down with the big blame
And I know it’ll break game!
Post Post Doom
I’m a troll sensation; Screamin’ round the nation
My endless vituperation!

I can see it in my head
As I start a brand new thread
The Dev’s have made a big mistake
And soon the game it will be DEAD
Post Post Doom

What the hell is wrong with me?
My argument ain’t perfect
But still you will hear much cryin’ [censored] bitchin’ from me
Cause it seems to be my big destiny
So just sit back and relax and be my brand new forum minion
Your disbelief will be forgiven
I’ll give you your new opinion!
Oh Yeah!

Post Post Doom
Watch me drop another forum post
Sayin’ what I hate the most
Post Post Doom
I’m comin’ down with the big blame
And I know it’ll break game!
Post Post Doom
I’m a troll sensation; Screamin’ round the nation
Givin’ you new education!

Why have I succumbed to rage?
Why’m I typin’ out this page?
And will I make them change their minds?
Or just look like a big behiiiiiiiiiind?
Post Post Doom

[/ QUOTE ]
nice

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Nice lyrics, but no linky for a video? i likes me some video.

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Dr. Todt's theme.
i make stuff...

[ QUOTE ]
Nice lyrics, but no linky for a video? i likes me some video.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, here you go.

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*looks at Steelclaw*

Okay, I'm married to Bloodspeaker IRL and to Leandro in-game, so I can't marry you, but would you settle instead for officially now being my God?

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

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