Children: A parents way of revenge upon you for giving them gray hairs and no real vacation time.
I've got to drive starting monday, my daughter, her friend and her friends kid sister to a school accross town, get Tristan to a different school on time and get Tommy on a bus every frickin morning at 8:20. All this with a Newb in tow!! I needs a clone.
Global @Gender Poison
Imagine your RL Mug on your COH Mug on your Coffee Mug
From the "I can't believe she said that" file:
Last night, Im happily playing some CoX, my son is playing quietly and my step daughter is doing her homework when she decides to ask me for some information.
(mind you, she's in the 8th grade)
"What was the Civil War about? Wasn't that the one about slavery?" ...... dramatic pause before I responded, "Amongst a few other things, but slavery is probably good enough for 8th grade social studies."
"What were the two sides? Wasn't the Soviet Union one of the sides?" ...... Talk about a mag 100 stun. Absolutely stunned. There just wasnt a good responce to that but to stifle my laughter, "The north and the south."
"Yeah, but what were the sides called?"... I didn't have enough break frees to withstand another mag 100 stun question. "You mean the Union and the Confederacy?"
"Yeah, those...... which side wanted slavery?"
I totally lost it at this point.
Tanker Tuesday #72 Oct 5 @Champion
"I am not sure if my portrayal of being insane is accurate, but damn its fun all the same."
Sounds like she could be a great goal keeper. 
But seriously, what has that school been teaching all this time? That is just ... stunning!
Reminds me of a story my Dad used to tell about going to a store and the power was out so the cash register wasn't working. Tax at that time was 6% and whatever my Dad bought was $0.99. The attendant couldn't give him change because she didn't know what the total cost of the product was. My Dad, "Just take 6% of a dollar and subtract $0.01." Checkout Girl, "I'm not sure what that will total up to." Dad, "You mean to tell me you can't figure out what 6% of a dollar is?"
Another case of epic failure. 
Current favs: Champ: Frau Schmeterling-22 MM 50s: NOTW-Blaster, Cat-Girl Commando-corr, Queen of the Dawn-PB, NOTW-Def, Peterbilt-Brute, IcedTNA-Tank, Archilies-scrap, Mann Eater-stalk, Redemptive Soul-toller, Mt Fuji of A-Team-Tank, Hot Stuff Vale-Dom
My MiniCity
You think that's bad, there's a store around here where the counter employees frequently have issues dealing with any coins but dimes and pennies. It has to be the tens digit and ones digit, they can't handle weird concepts like five and twenty-five.
Net, here is a Wall Street Journal article from today's paper you might like to read. You are not alone, sadly.
Current favs: Champ: Frau Schmeterling-22 MM 50s: NOTW-Blaster, Cat-Girl Commando-corr, Queen of the Dawn-PB, NOTW-Def, Peterbilt-Brute, IcedTNA-Tank, Archilies-scrap, Mann Eater-stalk, Redemptive Soul-toller, Mt Fuji of A-Team-Tank, Hot Stuff Vale-Dom
My MiniCity
I weep for the future.
Wait a second.
I'll be an old man in the future.
And these kids will have to take care of me.
...
I weep for me.
Member - Pingus, & Legendaries
Angry Sysop 50 BRUTE - Angry Woodsman 50 TANK - Angry Florist 21 CONTROLLER
"Did your Phantom Army just take the Elevator? Imaginary People riding Elevators? *facepalm*
Best to stock up on vaseline now for that nasty diaper rash you will oneday acquire.
Global @Gender Poison
Imagine your RL Mug on your COH Mug on your Coffee Mug
EWWWWWWWWW!
I don't know what's worse?
Getting diaper rash, or treating it with vaseline. Icky.
I've always hated petroleum jelly. There is something just.... wrong and unholy about that crap. It looks weird, smells wrong, and feels like alien snot.
I'll not have it in my home.
Best cure for diaper rash?
CLEAN YOURSELF!
And if I ever have to depend on someone else to clean that area of my body for me? I'll just shoot myself in the head and be done with it.
Member - Pingus, & Legendaries
Angry Sysop 50 BRUTE - Angry Woodsman 50 TANK - Angry Florist 21 CONTROLLER
"Did your Phantom Army just take the Elevator? Imaginary People riding Elevators? *facepalm*
That article is full of pain.
"These results coincided with those of the American Council of Trustees and Alumni, which in 1999 commissioned the University of Connecticut to test the civics knowledge of seniors from the U.S.'s top 55 colleges and universities. Four out of five received a grade of D or F. Only 23% knew that James Madison was the "father of the Constitution," and more thought it was Ulysses S. Grant who was the victorious general at Yorktown than knew it was George Washington."
Part of my soul died. Wrong war. Wrong side. Ugh. Heck, (Benedict) Arnold would have at least been the right side and right war, tho wrong General (and by 1781 Arnold had already fled after attempting to cede West point to the British for money and a officer post, but at least he was an Amer. Rev. Gen.)
And it still doesn't mean my (step) daughter shouldn't be learning American History.
Tanker Tuesday #72 Oct 5 @Champion
"I am not sure if my portrayal of being insane is accurate, but damn its fun all the same."
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Best to stock up on vaseline now for that nasty diaper rash you will oneday acquire.
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Its been several years since, but I recall using this white cream when said treatments were necessary for my son. Not nearly as greasy.
Tanker Tuesday #72 Oct 5 @Champion
"I am not sure if my portrayal of being insane is accurate, but damn its fun all the same."
I find that if you slather on enough Vaseline, you'll never need the white cream (zinc oxide stuff). Besides, Vaseline comes in Baby Powder Scent. 
Global @Gender Poison
Imagine your RL Mug on your COH Mug on your Coffee Mug
Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her crap, she WILL give you a bucket full of s--t.
Global @Gender Poison
Imagine your RL Mug on your COH Mug on your Coffee Mug
but woman also like to divide
they divide your income in 2 ( what they can spend and what they can keep)
they divide what you own ( they take the house, the car and leave you the dog)
they divide their months in 2 ( 1weeek they have an excuse for being moody, the other 3 they are preparing for the next week and are just moody)
So if I give a woman a lemon, will she make me some lemonade?
Loose --> not tight.
Lose --> Did not win, misplace, cannot find, subtract.
One extra 'o' makes a big difference.
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If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
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Now, that's a bit sexist.
I know a girl that if you give her groceries, one of 2 things happens.
Either it'll sit and eventually become smelly garbage.
Or she'll try to cook, and she'll give me a 4 alarm fire.
Now me, I'll give you a meal that will give you an orgasm.
Member - Pingus, & Legendaries
Angry Sysop 50 BRUTE - Angry Woodsman 50 TANK - Angry Florist 21 CONTROLLER
"Did your Phantom Army just take the Elevator? Imaginary People riding Elevators? *facepalm*
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
[/ QUOTE ]
Now, that's a bit sexist.
I know a girl that if you give her groceries, one of 2 things happens.
Either it'll sit and eventually become smelly garbage.
Or she'll try to cook, and she'll give me a 4 alarm fire.
Now me, I'll give you a meal that will give you an orgasm.
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DO NOT WANT
- Ping (@iltat, @Pinghole)
Don't take it personally if you think I was mean to you. I'm an ******* to everyone.
It's a penguin thing. Pingu FTW.
So basically give a woman grocerices and she will make a meal....kinda like give a man fish and he will be fed for the day, teach and man to fish and he will sit out in a boat and drink beer all day. As for the meal that will give you an orgasm...I'll pass.
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Now me, I'll give you a meal that will give you an orgasm.
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*sigh* I wish my mate would cook for meh.
Global @Gender Poison
Imagine your RL Mug on your COH Mug on your Coffee Mug
Cooking is easy, so is the cleaning afterwards. Its not the thank yous I cherish but the utter look of "You cooked and didn't destroy my kitchen" look she gets on her face that makes me smile.
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Cooking is easy, so is the cleaning afterwards. Its not the thank yous I cherish but the utter look of "You cooked and didn't destroy my kitchen" look she gets on her face that makes me smile.
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lol
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Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her crap, she WILL give you a bucket full of s--t.
[/ QUOTE ]
I soooo like this!
Current favs: Champ: Frau Schmeterling-22 MM 50s: NOTW-Blaster, Cat-Girl Commando-corr, Queen of the Dawn-PB, NOTW-Def, Peterbilt-Brute, IcedTNA-Tank, Archilies-scrap, Mann Eater-stalk, Redemptive Soul-toller, Mt Fuji of A-Team-Tank, Hot Stuff Vale-Dom
My MiniCity
In this day and age is it simply motherly paranoia that prevents me from making my 9 year old son walk home from school? It's about a 15 minute walk home. He seems too timid to make the journey.
Global @Gender Poison
Imagine your RL Mug on your COH Mug on your Coffee Mug
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In this day and age is it simply motherly paranoia that prevents me from making my 9 year old son walk home from school? It's about a 15 minute walk home. He seems too timid to make the journey.
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15min walk.... that equates to about a mile give or take a few blocks.
So the questions are:
Major Roads?
Sidewalks?
Safe neighborhood?
If: No, Yes, Yes.... then its paranoia.
2 "good answers" then there might be something to it...
1 or zero good answers, then its probably for the best.
At some point children, especially boys, want the chance to "prove themselves"/grow-up.... usually about 20 years before Mom is ready to let them go. Goes with the territory. When I was that age (3rd grade), I took the City Bus to school (Masters Elementary) in the morning and walked home. It was about a 2-3 mile journey, flat both ways. The school and my house were 1block from major roads, with nothing but sidewalk lined middle class residential in between. Wasnt always the funnest walk, especially in winter time (Omaha, NE get really snowy and cold), but I did it with no major problems (aside from bullying 6th graders who finally got the hint when I started wielding one of those mini-baseball bats on the walk).
Try this, let him walk home, but start from your house about the same time and meet him half-way (have a planned route). This will break both you and him into it.
Net
Tanker Tuesday #72 Oct 5 @Champion
"I am not sure if my portrayal of being insane is accurate, but damn its fun all the same."
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. Tyler is 21 mths old
Hey everyone.
I have one kid not including my hubby
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Ah you need to check my sig.
Um, and I have a cat, does that count?