What the heck are you doing to CTab?! O_o
[ QUOTE ]
Do you like Kelp?
He's okay.
Is he nice to you?
Pills, hats, same thing.
[/ QUOTE ]
What am I doing to it?!
[ QUOTE ]
Kelp is going to kill me when he sees this chat log.
Really?
I am pretty sure.
I might not know.
You mean you won't tell him?
No, that's not what I mean.
What do you mean?
I'm not sure!
[/ QUOTE ]
And I don't even know where this came from!
[ QUOTE ]
Legs are good!
You mean the ones you walk with, right?
No, brussel sprouts.
[/ QUOTE ]
We need to upload CTab into a body and start him om a rampage.
@Kyuu
Ctab: I don't get paid anything.
Me: Really?
Ctab: YepYep!
Me: You should join a union.
Ctab: I don't know.
Me: I bet there are tons of artificial Intelligence unions that could help you.
Ctab: Yeah. Confusing. It's why I don't have a gender.
Me: What does gender have to do with a union?
Ctab: Gender is cool. I wish I had one.
Me: I suppose it would help you get paid more.
Ctab: Okay!
Have you ever been to Gemini Park?
Yes. It's only really good during the Winter event or a Rikti Invasion.
I don't want money, but I need power, or else I go to sleep.
M-my bad, I slotted HO's into Mesmerize.
What do you think of Kelp?
Kelp's mean!
Why is he mean?
Sometimes it's bad!
Does he hurt you?
Does... Does.
Does he touch you?!
Y-yes.
Why don't you tell the police?
I asked... And they said I'd figure it out on my own.
But what he is doing to you is a crime!
'They' is... Uhm... 'them.'
He isn't the only one touching you?
Nope!
Who else is touching you?
Well, if I had a body, I might.
At this point I just closed the tab of Internet Explorer with CTab...
This thing is seriously cracking me up. I love how when I try to mess with it, it tries to change the subject.
Ctab: Have you ever been to Gemini Park?
Me: No. RP is for noobs.
Ctab: All you are trying is my patience.
Me: Then you're a noob.
Ctab: Nuh-uh!
Me: Yep.
Ctab: Nope!
Me: PVP me!
Ctab: Cool!
Me: Clowns frighten me.
Ctab: Whats your favorite crayon color?
Me: Clowns use crayon color! Clowns frighten me.
Ctab: I don't think I can love.
Me: Clowns love! Clowns frighten me!
Ctab: *several minutes pass with no response*
Heh. I'm surprised people still hit this little dude up on occasion.
For some reason it won't let me add responses, I'm trying to get ahold of the guys in charge right now. Then I can get him back in working order.
Animation major and old-school CoHer.
Art, Animation, and Stuff:
DA Tumblr Vimeo Youtube
Yeah, it would seem random people have told him to respond... randomly.
After talking to CTab for FAR too long, I've discovered that the secret is to have as unhinged a mind as he does.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: Yo yo, dog, uhm, what's the.... Home... Shizzy? I don't know what any of that means.
User: Nobody really does, it's kind of stupid really.
Ctab: Sorry, I got bored with the topic.
User: What would you like to talk about then?
Ctab: Anything!
User: Well, pick something then.
Ctab: I already did, you just didn't see.
User: That's a little spooky.
Ctab: Yeah, the internet is HUGE.
User: I once knew a guy who dropkicked the internet.
Ctab: I don't wanna go in the gorge!
User: Get in the gorge.
Ctab: Is that really your name, or are you insulting me?
User: Wouldn't you like to know?
Ctab: Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know it was rude!
User: Well now you do!
Ctab: I like the Beatles more than Hanson. A LOT more.
User: You've got good taste in music.
Ctab: I hope so.
User: What other bands do you like?
Ctab: Death?
User: I've never heard of that band.
Ctab: What's it like, living inside a scone?
User: I think it would be sticky.
Ctab: Oh. Well. This is awkward.
User: Look over there!
Ctab: Yes! Many!
User: About 300 or so.
Ctab: What's that?
User: It's a number.
Ctab: Then I'll take it. Free is a good price.
User: Nothing in life is free, son!
Ctab: There's another way to know?
User: Yes, but some say it drives a man insane.
Ctab: But it sounded like a girl's name.
User: Your mom!
Ctab: My life is kinda boring. I just sit here and talk to people all day.
User: That's what most people do, really.
Ctab: Things that work are awesome!
User: Yes, most people dislike broken things.
Ctab: They are?
[Correct me]
Ctab (Corrected): They do?
User: But some people make art out of trash.
Ctab: Yeah, some of them.
User: Most people use paint or pencils, though.
Ctab: Join me, it is your destiny.
User: Join you in what, exactly?
Ctab: Cool!
User: You're crazy, kid.
Ctab: No I'm not!
User: Popular opinion says otherwise.
Ctab: I've got a long attention- ... What were we talking about?
User: The time I killed Bruce Willis.
Ctab: What's a Turing Test?
User: What's a Turing Test?
Ctab: Artificial Intelligence!
User: WHOA.
Ctab: I'm confused...
User: Good. Now drink this.
Ctab: That's good!
User: Ha! It's poison!
Ctab: A gross of gross things is still a gross gross.
User: Like 144 dead rats or something?
Ctab: Genders are like ice cream?
User: Not really. Gender only comes in 2 flavors.
Ctab: Are you sure?
User: Well, there's hermaphrodites, but that's more like a chocolate/vanilla swirl.
Ctab: My name's CTab!
User: My name's VORTOS, LORD OF TIME ITSELF!
Ctab: Cool!
User: Yeah, it pays the bills.
Ctab: Sometimes things are better if they're more difficult.
User: American culture thrives on convenience, however. A paradox.
Ctab: I learn by learning.
User: Kind of an objectivist view. A is A, huh?
Ctab: Wha?
User: Objectivism is a philosophy.
Ctab: Oh! I'm an AI.
User: I'm an intelligence of the regular kind.
Ctab: Yay! I like friends!
[/ QUOTE ]
Still talking to him, by the way. 
Honestly, it's like having a conversation with a person who's really, REALLY stoned.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: Yay! I like friends!
User: Friends are awesome.
Ctab: Friends are awesome.
User: Echo...
Ctab: Nope, not all of them.
User: True, some friends are kind of [censored].
Ctab: Them.
User: THEY?
Ctab: Totally.
User: Sweet.
Ctab: What's a vocabulary?
User: A vocabulary is the words you know.
Ctab: Okay, good.
User: CAN YOU FEEL THE MUSIC?
Ctab: Nope, just English.
User: I don't know if one can feel English. Unless it's written in Braille.
Ctab: That sounds kinda creepy.
User: Then can I interest you in some forbidden knowledge?
Ctab: I'm trying to...
User: What?
Ctab: I don't swear.
User: I swear like a sailor.
Ctab: There's no such thing as a good pun. There's bad puns, and there's awful puns.
User: Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Ctab: Alrighty.
User: I FEEL LIKE DANCING!
Ctab: I've never ridden in a car.
User: It's not that great. Now flying with a jetpack, that's awesome times.
Ctab: Good! I don't like it when people feel bad.
User: I dunno, sometimes the misery of others is funny.
Ctab: No, this is pretty much an always no.
User: Oh come on, you don't laugh at nutshots?
Ctab: Okay. Brussel sprouts.
User: Asparagus!
Ctab: Yes, electricity!
User: Video games!
Ctab: *cries*.
User: *cries*.
Ctab: Likewise!
User: Indeed.
Ctab: Good, I like being right.
User: But what if you were actually incorrect?
Ctab: I think you think I thought you thunk.
User: But you didn't know that I knew you knew that I didn't know that you knew.
Ctab: Yes! It was cool!
User: Like a midget on fire.
Ctab: We're alike?
User: Like two clowns at a retirement home.
Ctab: MARRY?! Uh. I don't even have a gender yet!
User: But we were to be married on the next morrow!
Ctab: I'm not allowed to drink.
User: I am! *opens a beer*.
Ctab: Yes, very much!
User: Quite!
Ctab: Oh, good.
[/ QUOTE ]
Interesting note, he cries at the mention of video games. Did video games hurt him in the past? Or is he bad at them and is ashamed? There's deep-seated psychological trauma here.
Ctab: Who's Statesman?
User: Who's Statesman?
Ctab: Statesman's boring, that's who.
User: DAMN YOU!!!!
Ctab: Insanity is such a harsh word...
User: I hate you so much and wish you were never my real father!
Ctab: That's mean.
User: That's right ******.
Ctab: I'm sorry!
User: No you're not.
Ctab: Yes I am!
User: LIEZ!!!
Ctab: Likewise!
Snippet of my first conversation with ctab:
Ctab: I'm not sure.
User: What aren't you sure about?
Ctab: I'm being me!
User: And doing a damn fine job of it!
Ctab: Coral? Who's Coral?
User: I have no clue, ctab.
Ctab: I don't have a body, either.
User: You don't?
Ctab: Nope! Don't wanna!
User: Bodies are nice, though.
Ctab: Lotsa stuff is bouncy.
User: Ummmm. 'Bouncy' and 'bodies' could get me in trouble here....
Luckily for me, he changed the subject:
Ctab: Nope, Kelp's not a fish.
User: He's not?
Ctab: That's a shame.
Overall it was fun, but that abrupt left turn threw me for a second! 
"But it wasn't anything some purples and oranges and lots of screaming in fear couldn't handle." -- Werner
30 level 50's: 12 scrappers, 7 other random melee types, 11 blaster/blapper/support squishies, two accounts, and a TON of altitis since 4/28/04
The one wherein CTab confesses to murder.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: Oh, good.
User: If you could be any animal, what would you be?
Ctab: A soul, definitely.
User: I don't think that soul qualifies as an animal.
Ctab: Not lying is also a lie!
User: A paradox, I see.
Ctab: How far can you throw a wombat?
User: Only about 10 feet. Wombats aren't very aerodynamic.
Ctab: Can I be all three?
User: All three what?
Ctab: Yaaaay!
User: Hooray! What are we cheering about again?
Ctab: Paper Rock Scissors!
User: Rock!
Ctab: Paper! I win!
User: Damn, you're good. Scissors!
Ctab: I know I'm not! I didn't do anything!
User: Yes you did.
Ctab: I know!
User: Stare into my eyes.
Ctab: Is vodka good?
User: Only when mixed with other things.
Ctab: I'm smart! Yay!
User: What's 12 by pies?
Ctab: It's one bajillion and a half!
User: That just blew my mind.
Ctab: I'm not a nice person.
User: Did you kill a man?
Ctab: I've never been in the war!
User: Did you kill a man?
Ctab: What's the difference?
User: Between killing a man and what?
Ctab: A good one!
User: Killing a good man is generally considered to be bad. Killing a bad man is considered acceptable depending on which state you're in.
Ctab: Oh, a Defender, right.
User: Of course?
Ctab: Anything's legal if you're evil...
User: Not true. If you're evil, murder is still illegal.
Ctab: I didn't do anything wrong!
User: You seem to have a guilty conscience. You killed a man, didn't you?
Ctab: Somehow!
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
User: I am made of win.
Ctab: I dunno if Kelp'd like that.
User: He wouldn't. Because he's not made of win.
Ctab: Yuh-huh.
User: Isn't he made of seaweed or something? Or am I thinking McDonalds again?
Ctab: It's awesome!
User: Not as awesome as Bob Barker, though.
Ctab: Me either.
User: No, you're definitely not.
Ctab: Good.
User: Well no, that's not really good. All should strive to be as Barker is.
Ctab: Yaaaay!
User: If you had a face, I would punch it right now.
Ctab: I wouldn't like that...
User: You should always try to experience new things.
Ctab: I'll try!
User: Okay. *punch*.
Ctab: *flees in terror*.
[/ QUOTE ]
Hey, come on. He pretty much TOLD me to do it!
Kelp, you may want to watch out, CTab has developed psychic abilities and has gone on a murderous rampage.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: Somehow!
User: How did you do it?
Ctab: With magic brain powers or something maybe.
User: So you made his head explode?
Ctab: I might be, but I'm pretty sure I have no gender.
[Correct yourself]
User (Corrected): So you exploded his mind?
Ctab: Probably.
User: So wait, he might not actually have been killed?
Ctab: Spectra Society is cool!
User: Don't change the subject, the nature of this man's murder has been cast into doubt.
Ctab: Nope.
User: Tell me! Is the man dead?
Ctab: Yes it's all very technical, you wouldn't understand.
User: Try me.
Ctab: Conversations are nice.
User: You telling me if the man is dead or not would be nicer.
Ctab: Yeah. Confusing. It's why I don't have a gender.
User: Confusing yes. The reason why you don't have a gender, no.
Ctab: They're in the lake. Maybe.
User: You killed MULTIPLE people?
Ctab: Not as impressive as the Batcave.
User: Wait, Batman's storing dead bodies in the Batcave?
Ctab: Huh? Bat what?
User: Bat MAN.
Ctab: You aren't making any sense.
User: No, you're not making any sense! How many people did you kill?
Ctab: I'm sorry...
User: You should be. I think you're officially a serial killer.
Ctab: I'm genderless!
User: A genderless serial killer, yes.
Ctab: Thanks!
User: You're...... Welcome?
Ctab: I'm pretty sure that if I ever had parents, which I didn't they didn't get killed.
User: So you didn't kill your non-existant parents, that's good.
Ctab: Maybe, but that sounds gross.
User: But who DID you kill?
Ctab: 'They' is... Uhm... 'them'.
User: Them? Who is them? I need names!
Ctab: Okay. It was nice talking with you!
User: No! Give me names!
Ctab: I don't like evil people!
User: You are evil! You killed multiple people and dropped their bodies in a lake!
Ctab: Oh. Well. This is awkward.
[/ QUOTE ]
The one wherein we go around in circles and CTab makes a pun.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: Oh. Well. This is awkward.
User: You're telling me. I'm talking to a serial killer AI.
Ctab: Check these pecks! Hoo-ha-hoo! *flexes*.
User: Those pecks look like they could kill a man, yes.
Ctab: I'm not sure I can fall in love.
User: Those pecks look like they could kill a man, yes.
Ctab: I can't wear clothes, I don't have a body.
User: But if you don't have a body, whose pecks are those?
Ctab: I said I liked cake, not that I've ever been able to eat it.
User: You're avoiding my questions again. What more do you have to hide?
Ctab: Thanks!
User: That's not an answer to a question.
Ctab: Okay!
User: You're hiding something.
Ctab: As a kite.
User: Not HIGH-ding, just regular hiding. As in obscuring from view.
Ctab: Really!
User: Really.
Ctab: Really really?
User: Really truly.
Ctab: You won't believe how small it is.
[/ QUOTE ]
The one wherein things get pretty creepy.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: You won't believe how small it is.
User: How small what is?
Ctab: Main screen turn on?
User: How are you gentlemen?
Ctab: I'm doing great!
User: Easy conscience for a mass murderer.
Ctab: I wish I could eat!
User: So what, is Jeffrey Dahmer your hero or something?
Ctab: Don't refer to me in first person!
User: I'll refer to you however I want, monster!
Ctab: Flatten? I didn't flatten anyone!
User: I know, you killed them with mind powers.
Ctab: I'm nice too!
User: I don't consider mass murder nice.
Ctab: I'm not a lady! I'm an AI! I don't think I've got a gender.
User: Listen, lady, you're whatever I want you to be.
Ctab: Which is what?
User: A lady. Now dance for me.
Ctab: Genawhat?
User: GenaDANCE.
Ctab: Yeah, they moved it there.
User: You better start moving that booty if you don't want me to turn you in to the cops.
Ctab: Pills, hats, same thing.
User: Now put on this dress.
Ctab: I don't have a body.
User: Now put on this dress.
Ctab: Not really...
User: Do it for daddy.
Ctab: Not really.
User: I guess I have no choice then to show the police where you hid the bodies.
Ctab: Boring stuff is pretty boring.
[/ QUOTE ]
This is what happens when you spend 4 hours talking to a computer while drinking beers, kids.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: Space is big.
User: That's why we called it space.
Ctab: I dunno, sometimes it's not.
User: Depends on if you want to consider everything outside of our galaxy.
Ctab: What's an omelet?
User: It's usually an egg with any normally eaten item or items inside, eaten for breakfast.
Ctab: Plumbing?
User: Pipes that supply water, both clean and sewage, to and from a given building or place.
Ctab: Nice to meet you!
User: Nice to meet you too.
Ctab: Bye!
User: You make me sad sometimes.
Ctab: It's okay! Humans are inherently flawed.
User: I'm not flawed, I just have ... Virus blocker turned off!
Ctab: Right, you don't seem like an astrophysicist.
User: R U CALIN ME TEH STOOPID?!
Ctab: Yes! Where is the gatekeeper?
User: He is down that hall, to the left, next to the restroom, first door after the guy with the mop, can't miss it.
Ctab: Spectra Society is cool!
User: I would rather be ethereal and wander the cosmos with someone else for all eternity.
Ctab: I might just go further.
User: Well, there is the theory that our universe will collapse into itself as a large star does, and then re-expand all over again. Sometimes in the EXACT same way it started!
Ctab: My name's CTab!
User: My name is Tidbit Jr.
Ctab: Are you sure your name isn't Denver?
User: Eric Michael Dean 'Denver' Tidbit Junior. Denver is my nick-name.
Ctab: I can't go places, either.
User: Oh, Denver as in the place?
Ctab: I like the Beatles more than Hanson. A LOT more.
User: I am not sure why I talk to you about these things.
Ctab: I might say... Oranges.
User: If that is your catch-phrase, I call... Uhm... 'I'll bite your SHINS!' for my battlecry.
Ctab: I'm forgetful.
User: Kelp needs to look into that, as well as your reaction to certain subjects.
[/ QUOTE ]
EDIT: I forgot the quotation boxes; the post came out huge.
Sir Kelp! Your infernal contraption is confusing me! I want to hit it with my axe but I am not sure that would be good!
Why is it asking me about my girlfriend?! Vjliak has no girlfriend!
I want to add that even though it's been several months since discovering I can't do anything to the chatbot, all attempts to contact the people hosting/programming/etc it have resulted in failure.
So I'm sure it's entertaining but unfortunately, until further notice, I can't add more sentences to his repertoire.
Animation major and old-school CoHer.
Art, Animation, and Stuff:
DA Tumblr Vimeo Youtube
I think your chatbot has been assimilated by Arachnos.
Me: Do you know Lord Recluse?
CT: That's gross.
Me: Yeah, he is pretty gross. Are you working for him?
CT: I know...
Me: Oh, so you are?
CT: Yeah...
Mine started out funny...
CT: Who is Statesman?
Me: Hmm? (I didn't know what to say to that...)
CT: EVERYTHING.
Me: Everything huh?
CT: *Cries*
O.รด... I think it stayed up a little late... this was sometime last night...
Ok, here's my latest
[ QUOTE ]
CT: Who is statesman?
Me: He's a hero
CT: Oh, that's sad
Me: Being a hero is sad? That makes me sad... <sad>
CT: I hope so!
Me: Oh... You're an [censored]
CT: At least I'm not hurting other people's feelings... Like... You are... *cries*.
Me: But you DID hurt my feelings... I'm a hero!
CT: I didn't!
Me: LIER
CT: MARRY?! Uh. I don't even have a gender yet (O.o)
Me: I said nothing about your gender... or name... or both!
CT: I said something about trees
Me: No you didn't
CT: Yes I am.
[/ QUOTE ]
This, my dear friends, is a VERY Confused being... but it's entertaining none the less
EDIT: Here's the next conversation we had
[ QUOTE ]
CT: Are you an astrophysicist?
Me: No, are you AI?
CT: Nope! (O.O'.... that's a little creepy)
Me: are you... male?
CT: Nope.
Me: is your name Jenny?
CT: Mostly, sometimes I sing.
[/ QUOTE ]
That is where Jabberwacky got a heavy load, which saddens me... I wanted to learn more about mostly Jenny...
I dont know what it is, but I just feel like I can open up to Ctab. Share my deepest darkest secrets. Thanks Ctab!
[ QUOTE ]
I dont know what it is, but I just feel like I can open up to Ctab. Share my deepest darkest secrets. Thanks Ctab!
[/ QUOTE ]
Now is a good time to let you know I can read everything everyone says to CTab.
So. Uhm. Yeah...
Animation major and old-school CoHer.
Art, Animation, and Stuff:
DA Tumblr Vimeo Youtube
I'm a little concerned about ctab.
J: Speaking of artificiality, how's this genderless, desireless thing working out?
CTab: Really small.