The you kill me, I kill you...(and so on) thread!
By
Abalest,
Posted on: 2004-06-26 06:41 in Roleplaying
Immortal walks into the thread, looking the place over critically. The entire place is spotless and shiny, not a single blood stain. Immortal scowls.
"It'll take some getting used to."
He looks over at the thread creator, standing in the center of the thread, the corpse of a bug just behind him. Immortal chuckles.
"I'll give you credit for the effort. But it just isn't the same. Of course, a little re-decorating could fix that."
Immortal, with lightning-speed, takes out his sniper rifle and shoots YFNDBA cleanly in the forehead, effectively 'decorating' his surroundings. Immortal smiles.
"Looks more like home already."
YFNDBA welcomes Immortal back with a big 'ol bear hug!
...
Using a live bear...
With dynomite for claws...
And a fuse...
KABOOM!(Needless to say, Immortal is quite dead.)
Later on, Larry the janitor comes to clean it up, slips on Immortals spleen, and breaks his neck, killing himself.
EDIT: Almost forgot a rule: You can't kill again until someone else has posted. =)
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure. --- Thomas Jefferson
Formerly known as YFNDBA
Immortal, realising that this thread is a fresh start, decides to recycle some of his old kills.
A rogue steamroller enters the thread, killing everyone inside.
YFNDBA respawns, and recycles some old kills also.
The giant river of molten cheese\jello falls into the thread, killing millions as it carves a swath of destruction throughout Paragon City.
Oh and it destroys the steamroller.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure. --- Thomas Jefferson
Formerly known as YFNDBA
Rott makes an appearance in the now ruined Paragon City.
"I thought City of Villains didn't come out until Jauary 2005," he says, looking over YFNDBA (who will from here on out be known as Y to this poster 
). "Guess I was wrong."
Rott pulls out the claws and makes like a vegetable shredder until Y is in tatters. "I'll be right here when you get back."
Rott goes looking for the Immortal.
-The Rottweiler - lvl 21 claws/inv
Leader - Champions of Light - Infinity
Rottweiler 50 claws/inv scrap
Crossborne 50 mace/SD brute
Snapvine 50 plant/vines dominator
Immortal respawns in a flash of purple mist. He looks irritated.
"This is a complete rip-off. In the REAL kill-thread, it was a white flash. Purple mist? Come on, be original."
Immortal suddenly notices a newcomer make like a lawn-mower on 'Y'. He smiles.
"Good."
Immortal then aquires a mosquito zapper, three toasters, two teen pop idols, a baker's dozen of grenades, yarn, various hair care products, two batteries from seperate manufacturers, a pair of left-handed michael jackson gloves, and a sharpened dull piece of scrap metal. He uses these materials in various ways to kill Rott. Three times.
flame drops out of the sky, carrying a large nuclear bomb and as she hits the ground, she kills every purple squirrel in a miles radius.
Rott awakens in traction, attempting to remove one of three toasters from his posterior.
That no good Immortal. How'd he know I got a weakness 'gainst toasters?" he thinks and gets out of the bed cursing.
At that point everything in front of him goes white as a nuke goes off and sends him flying through the far wall, through a tree, through a telephone pole, through an apartment building, through a taxi-cab, into an ally and into a bum eating from a can and oblivious to the destruction around him.
The bum looks up with sad eyes and says, "That was my last can of Spam." Then he begins to cry.
Rott looks across the way at Flame, shakes his fist, and says, "SEE WHAT YOU DID?? YOU DESTROYED THIS MAN'S LAST CAN OF SPAM!! HOW COULD YOU?? HIS SPAM!!"
He kills Flame, as she dies from shame.
-Rott
Rottweiler 50 claws/inv scrap
Crossborne 50 mace/SD brute
Snapvine 50 plant/vines dominator
The Frost Fiend, disguised as the bum, cackles, and preceeds to shove six feet of ice through the stupid person in front of him. He then preceeds to releive himself on the dead hero's corpse.
/ooc top that.
Rott once again wakes up in traction, once again removes something from his posterior. It has not been a good day for that region and sitting down comfortably anytime soon is going to be an adventure in itself.
"See, that's why I let the homeless go on down the sewers and play with the Lost," he mumbles.
He superleaps through the hospital window and lands on the bum.
"I guess your Spam's back," he says.
-Rott
Rottweiler 50 claws/inv scrap
Crossborne 50 mace/SD brute
Snapvine 50 plant/vines dominator
Gravitomiton, attempting to help rebuild the shattered Paragon City by lifting debris, is distracted by the sound of a breaking window. The crumpled lightpost he is currently levitating goes flying. Straight into Rott's rear.
"Apologies, sentient. I seem to have suffered a minor malfunction."
Both Rott and Gravitomiton are killed by the Kill Thread Sentry Gun (tm), for violating one of the most important rules (they didn't kill anyone in their posts.) Immortal prances like a small school girl. Needless to say, somewhere in asia an old man dies.
Gravitomiton wakes up in the hostpital, then pulls the moon down on top of Immortal. This kills him. The American Flag planted by Neil Armstrong now has bits of Immortal on it.
The ensuing dust cloud chokes millions to death.
For continuity's sake, Gravitomiton then labors to get the moon back up into regular orbit.
The moon, after being replaced 5000 miles from its original spot, files law suit against gravitomiton, who loses everything. He dies a poor man's death, in a pool of his own fluids.
[ QUOTE ]
For continuity's sake, Gravitomiton then labors to get the moon back up into regular orbit.
[/ QUOTE ]
'Y' respawns.
"Psh, continuity. As if there was any continuity here."
He proceedes to use his Rabid-Woodchuck-Weasel-Hybrids to eat Statesman, who he covered in a delectable honey-BBQ sauce.
Oh, and then Immortal respawns, and Gary Coleman kicks him in the shins, killing him again.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure. --- Thomas Jefferson
Formerly known as YFNDBA
The Frost Fiend, upset by all the killing Immortal has cuased on the world preceeds to grad a pair of Resucsitators (the shocker "Clear!" thingies!) and hunt him down. Spotting him in a small back alley, The Frost Fiend sneakes up and shouts "Clear!" at the top of his lunges, then uses the resucitator thingie to stop Immortal's heart beating. Then, he preceeds to skin Immortal's corpse, and hang it from a nearby poll. Then he dances a jig to a tune he Started humming. All's good.
The Whispered One, Finally driven mad by the dark whispers in the corners of his mind, exits Pandora's Box, removes his hood and scarf, instantly killing the first person that accidently gazes at his Eldritch and horrifying Head. It happens to be that citizen that keeps Asking i" is interupting people heroic?"
The Mad Welshman jumps into the fray and kills all nearby onlookers with a gallon of jello and 14 triscuits.
Ding Chavez sits on the roof of a skyscraper in Steel Canyon. Quietly he ponders to himself...
"what kind of un-american ******* would get pieces of Immortal on an american flag?"
Sighting down the barrel of his rifle, he squezes gently and watches Gravitomiton's head spark and go dark.
He turns and quickly places another slug between the fourth and fifth ribs on Immortal for not cleaning his entrails from the flag.
He then slinks off back into the darkness, as sniper makes his living being a sneaky *******.
Gravitomiton realizes he has dirtied the american flag, and horrified, kills himself through gravitic implosion. Unfortunately, Ding Chavez is nearby and is caught in the singularity. He is crushed to infitessimal size as Tom Clancy weeps.
THe Frost Fiend, now on a roll of 2/1 ratio of kills to deaths, decides to up it to a 3/1 ratio. Or, better yet, an everyone else in the post/1 ratio. He sneaks quitly up to the YKMIKY Sentry Turret (tm) and hacks into it's database. He selects everyone in the thread, except him, as targets, and watches as the turret annhiliates everyone. 
Meff watches from above at the chaos. From a near mile above the thread, he waves both arms in an insultingly dramatic gesture. The heavens crack open and red light pours accross the thread. Poultry and crowbars fall from the sky at impossible speeds, impalling all within the thread's scope by means of clucking death.
The purple squirel menace wiped from the planet, the puse chipmunks reveal their death-o-ray and proceed to obliterate all breathing life with impossible arcs of corruscating recycled paper.
The internet gains conciousness and hijacks the computers of millions of horney teenagers to become "Ult1m4n3rd!!!!11". As the fourty thousand mile tall mass of tower cases and cold cathode lights moves to crush and maim all n00bx0rz, moononites pull down the internet's pants and spank it with moon rocks.
Meff quickly dies from being bludgeoned to death by his earlier rain of crowbars. He tumbles from the sky and craters in the back storage warehouse of "Propane World", sending a cloud of flame and smoke rising into the sky above the thread.
((Oh yeah, Meff is thrusting in the direction of the problem.)
Immortal kills Frost Fiend, and then spawn-kills Frost continually until Frost's ratio becomes everyone else in the post/53
Calash kills a kitten
Make that 2 kittens
Ok...a lot of kittens.
(I can't beileve no one has posted this back up yet....anyways)
Back on the old boards we had a thread called the "You kill me, I kill you"...I can't remember the rest of the title....
So here it is again!
The rules are as follows:
<ul type="square">[*]You must kill something in every post.[*]You can't kill the same way two times in a row[*]No "I had my anit-plasma suit on" crap.[/list]
BEGIN!
YFNDBA stands around quietly, waiting for someone to join, and accidentaly steps on a bug, killing it.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is its natural manure. --- Thomas Jefferson
Formerly known as YFNDBA