Support - It's not just a grouping of ATs.

In the past couple of days since the announcement, we've seen an outpouring of emotion: Sadness, anger, denial, and a multitude of others. All these can form a potent mix.

We've also had some people saying they've fallen off the wagon, be it in diet, drinks, changes to routine, that kind of thing.

It's good to have healthy emotional release during this time. But, it's wise to keep an eye out for unhealthy behaviours and changes in yourself and in others, such as friends. sg-mates, and fellow global chatees.

For some people, change can be incredibly scary. Sudden, unexpected change even more so. You may have people wondering how they'll keep in contact with their friends, the worry of social isolation. It disrupts routine, which can be very important for some. A creative outpouring stoppered, a cathartic release from work and life blocked.

What you do to help yourself or others depends on your situation. Maybe it's as simple as arranging an out-of-game social network like a Facebook group, a message board, Steam group, IRC chat room. Making sure everyone involved has the details so they can access it.

Maybe it's just having a chat with someone understanding, or doing something you enjoy like going out to see a movie or a rousing game of Mornington Crescent.

The point is that as much of a shame and upset as this is, it would be even worse for negative events to occur because of it. A game can be a community and a community can be a support network for all manner of people with all manner of reasons.

I write this as part of a coping mechanism for myself. The shift in sleeping pattern, stomach discomfort, the general feelings of anxiety manifesting physically, even the sudden onset of a cold. They're my warning signals, and I know how to combat them for myself. Heavy metal, stress ball, doing something positive and chatting with friends.

So keep an eye out on yourself and those you know. A hero can't save the world if they're unwell, and you can't expect a villain to do their thing when under the weather.

Hey, I'm all about obeying the spirit of the forum rules in all, but you know what?

This.

Hmm...Ya, I haven't had a drink since...well I don't remember the last time...I have problems moderating things...all sorts of things, it tends to be an all or nothing kind of thing for me, but I had 2 beers last night...then was able to stop myself...luckily, by having somewhere to be and something to do.....but I wouldn't have even thought about reaching for a beer if it was for this news....Its weird, I'm OK, but really...this is tough....a little angry, can't believe this whole community will be gone....I've played fantasy football, met a few people, my sister met her husband on COH, its honestly been a part of my life since 2004... tough to let it go.

Yeah, it's been a rough couple days. I've been staying up late, unwilling to look away from my characters and their city. I've been grumpy and aloof at work. People ask me "What's wrong?" and I just tell them I'm in a bad mood. None of them would understand if I told them I'm this depressed over a video game.

But then I come read the forums. I see that there are lots of people going through the same feelings. Some of their stories are enough to make you cry. It makes me realize that there's nothing wrong with getting emotional over this. You all really are a type of support group. If we have to go through this - I'm glad we can all go through it together.

To every developer, player, and fictional character that was affected by this tragedy:
I love you all and I wish you the best,

With an aching heart,
Shawn. (Infinity's New Jersey Devil, Mystic Moustache and others.)

Thank you for saying something that everyone needs to hear.

I'm grateful for everyone in my life that I've been able to talk to about this, both those connected to the game and those who have nothing at all to do with it. Don't go through this alone. Find someone to talk to.

Even in grief, take care of yourselves. Please.

Glad to hear the message is appreciated.

I'm back to work today after having a holiday, so I'll be having the ol' heavy metal on to keep my mind on the job. As I understand it's Labour Day in the US and Canada so it's tomorrow people may need to be mindful for.

In sickness and in health, we'll be there for each other.

Having said that, no conjugal visits for you.

This being said:

Defenders are best at support.

SUCK IT, CORRS MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Yeah, things have been tough the last couple of days. Works been a drag, and I've had unnecessary arguments with my girlfriend. I've tried to explain to her why I'm feeling the way I do, but she doesn't understand. She just thinks I'm being stupid, letting a game get to me this much. She doesn't realise, this game was indirectly how I met her. I met her on Myspace, and if it wasn't for someone on CoH, I wouldn't have been on Myspace to meet her at all.

Sorry, I went off on a bit of a rant there. I hear what you're saying Zortel. I'm trying not to let this get to me too much, but it's hard. I love CoH, and I love the community of CoH. I'll miss them, and I'll miss the game we've all been a part of for long.

Contact me in-game: @CheeseSlicer

The last couple of months I've been putting a lot of effort into launching a radio station, so I decided I had to put COH on hold and not take part on the betas like I usually do, and just focus on getting this project done. Yesterday (Sunday) was the big fundraising event which we were mostly counting on to get the radio in the air by the end of the month. A ton of planning went into it from my side, and starting today, I knew I was going to have free time to come back to COH and relax.

Really lousy timing aside... the fundraiser was a complete disaster. The venue was in charge of the sound system, and they completely screwed it up (it flat out didn't work; their equipment was broken) and it didn't get started until 4 hours after it was supposed to. Because of that, most people just up and left, after poking their head at the designated time and seeing nothing going right. Once all the expenses were plugged in, the big fundraiser resulted in a NEGATIVE $5600 balance.

So, I am quite bummed. I spent a lot of time and effort in that event, and now we're worse than when we started. Usually COH is great at distracting me when things go badly, but after Friday's announcement, the atmosphere inside the game doesn't feel like a vacation anymore. It's the difference between going to visit your cousins because you love to hang out, and going to visit your cousins because you were told they have terminal cancer and 3 months to live. It just isn't going to be the same.

For me, the biggest loss here is the loss of a creative outlet. I don't mean to disparage all the great people I've pissed off over the years, nor the great development decisions I've complained about - that's part of what made the game great, to be sure. But to me, what made it... Transcendent is how much City of Heroes stimulated my imagination and encouraged me to think in unorthodox ways. Turns out, I really needed this, because the last eight years have been the happiest of my life just because I've been able to exercise my brain in such unusual ways.

I don't know what the solution to this is. I'll need to find another game which lets me "play around" as much, or otherwise take up writing more seriously.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arcanaville Samuel_Tow is the only poster that makes me want to punch him in the head more often when I'm agreeing with him than when I'm disagreeing with him.

Thanks Z. After reading this, I realised that I was hitting out at some people in my posts partly blaming free players for the games downfall.

That was wrong and hurtful to a group of people who didn't deserve it, and love the game just as much as I do, and I apologize unreservedly. At my age (almost 43), I really should know better than to blame people for something they didn't cause, so I guess the news hit me in ways I didn't expect.

That's an excellent post, Friggin_Taser. Have kudos!

Leandro: Is there any way this community could help re: the fundraising?

FFM: I figured as much. We'll chat later if you want?

Samuel_Tow: Write. Definitely. CoH has gotten me being more creative than ever through roleplaying and story writing. I'm starting a big superhero setting fiction series now featuring new heroes and altered versions of some of my CoH characters.

Spikey Shane: It can be hard for people who haven't experienced something like this to know what it's like when it's going. All I'll say is I hope the little rant here helped.

I'm just really sad, can I have an ehug?

*hugs Santorican*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zortel Leandro: Is there any way this community could help re: the fundraising?

No, at this point a lot of people started pointing fingers and yelling, which never helps, and the whole project's been canned. Nine months of work down the drain.

*hugs Santorican*

*double-hugs Leandro*

Somehow we'll get through this. We all will.

Wonderful thread here, Zortel, and all of the replies within.

And please, anyone and everyone, do go ahead and "rant". It's good to.
Especially so on Saturday, I was getting a bit snippy (at anyone and anything that was getting in my way, hehe). Fortunately my wife understood and I recognized it and acknowledged it even before she did. Still... sometimes it doesn't matter how much we recognize something... it still has to take its course.

It is a shame when other people can't understand the significance ("it's just a game" or whatever). It's understandable for an outsider to feel that way, of course. If you don't understand, you don't understand.
I saw someone make a great comparison that they thought might help others to understand (wish I could remember in what thread and by whom, hehe... crazy few days on the forums, eh?).
It was just the parallels of our situation to that of a professional sports franchise coming to an end or leaving their home town. All of those loyal fans and diehards would understand the pain and emotional impact all too well. It's an apt analogy if you happen to be dealing with a sports fan, at least. Of course, there are plenty of people who would simply scoff at being upset over a sports franchise, hehe.

Most everyone has their emotional investments. If you know them well enough... see if you can find something that you could point to. Just try not to do it in a confrontational or antagonistic way, as that'll lead nowhere good.

Also, it's likely not worth pointing out that we have it worse than a sports franchise abandoning their fans... First off, we're the bloody players! Also, this is like the entire sport simply being rubbed out of existence, hehe.
Imagine American football fans' reactions to football being ended completely, heh.
It's just a silly game, after all...


Anyway, this is a pastime. It sucks that companies can simply take them away from us.
It's happened before.
It's not just a game. It's a myriad of things, most of which involve a large investment (time, emotional, therapeutic, simple enjoyment, routine, socialization, friends, community, bonds, intellectual interests, math, goals, achievements, side-interests... I'm probably missing some).

All that being said... we do have to put it into perspective and carry on healthily. We all can. That doesn't eliminate the fact that there can easily be a struggle.
Always best to let the benefits we have reaped from this experience to help carry us through the struggle and into the next adventures and interests of our lives and pastimes.
Those of us who have gained strength (I think we've all seen many personal stories of people going through their struggles and crisis and how this game helped them through it) must recognize the true lesson in that the gaining of strength came from within; from the strength they did already possess. The game and the community was just the specific tool that aided them in finding the strength and the answers and the ability to cope.
As much as we love this particular method (and I do very much hope that, after all is said and done, we may very well be able to continue playing this awesome game), there are other pastimes, distractions, methods. And if this one is no longer there, we must remember that in the doing we continue on and we grow and we find our strength and carry on.

We've proven that there are good people and the potential for greatly friendly communities in the worst of places (the internets even!!!). Don't be afraid to look for it again.


Also, I tend to be a good listener if anyone feels the need to talk. Send me a PM. Give a shout to PaulDamonThomas @ gmail (dot) com (spelled funny to counter the pesky autobots grabbing emails, don't you know!).

And/or just post in here.
That's what we're all here for, after all.

Hey Leif, long time no see!

Alas, though most of us here know the truth of what you speak, convincing those around us who don't play of that is an uphill struggle. In fact, in some cases, it's a sodding cliff face.

I'm lucky in that my partner knows how much I'm going to miss the game. She's even asked me if I'm going to remake my main in another game...

I hate that this is hurting people on so many REAL levels, and I know it is cause it's hurting me just this badly and my friends to a point very close to this. Personally, though, I think NCSoft should be FORCED to see the real pain and suffering this is causing. Even if it's just in the head, or some supposedly "whiny geeks", or whatever people want to view this as, it's real and we're still all real people. I can understand that maybe they don't wanna waste money on this project or something else was bothering them, but maybe if they saw that's happening to the people they might show some compassion and work something out with us or at least talk to us. I don't care what the official announcement said...the only thing worse than knowing my first MMO, my first home away from home, a place that let me escape my problems, get out of the house (so to speak), and make and spend time with some of my first real friends is going away forever is not being addressed as an adult and being told to my face, why.

It's strange, only because of having lost my mother 10 years ago, I recognise all the same symptoms of bereavement in me that I had then (lack of enthusiasm for almost everything among others), and I'm having to make very sure I handle it better than I did that time.

There are a few friends for whom like me CoH has been a huge part of their lives for 8 years who I suspect will feel it more on December 1 than they do now and it may be like that for me too.