The Blaster Blues


Ad Astra

 

Posted

Since they've started talking about revamping the Blaster I've had this song rattling around in my head. Generally, the only way I can get something like that OUT of my head is to finally write it all down, I've gone ahead and done so.

Since I had it all written down anyway I decided to share it here. This is dedicated to the old Blaster and all its little issues of supreme Squishy-ness.

To the tune of Queen's "Keep Yourself Alive"...



Well I chose to play blaster
But little did I know
That my health would soon hit max
At about three hit points or so
Well I’ve run a million missions
I’ve been on a million teams
Always the first to do face plantin’
At least that’s they way it seems
I’ve teamed with ‘leet Defenders
With their green numbers and buffs
They all claimed they were the best
I assumed they knew their stuff
But when the battle starts and mayhem falls
There’s panic in the ranks
Those Defenders leave me hanging
And focus on the Tanks!

Keep my pancake alive
Keep my pancake alive
I’ll give you all my freakin’ loot
To keep my health supplied

Well I’ve played with some controllers
The best they self-proclaim
Never let a team mate down
Self-made masters of the game
Inspired by villain silence
I jump among them deep
It is then that I discover
They weren’t held they’re just asleep!
Oh I’ve played with melee masters
Those Scrappers, Tanks and Brutes
Lookin’ large and so in charge
In their flashy spandex suits
Oh yes they’re rough and they are tough
And they can hit the damage cap
But they’ll soon give in to madness
And go agro half the map!

Keep my pancake alive
Keep my pancake alive
I’d rather play than face plant honey
Keep my pancake alive

Keep my pancake alive
Keep my pancake alive
Got more debt than XP sonny
So please keep my pancake alive!


My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

 

Posted

Someone should sing this and make a youtube video to a bunch of blaster deaths. The more hilariously bad the singer, the better.


 

Posted

If I were on a computer with audio, I could look it up, but as it stands I have to confess that I am completely unfamiliar with the tune despite counting Queen among my favourite bands.


Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart's the memory
And there you'll always be
-- The Fox and the Hound

 

Posted

Oh dear god, he's back! Run! Run for the hills!

Nice to see you back, Steelclaw


Warning:

The above post may contain Cynicism, sarcasm and/or pessimism. If you object to the quantities contained, then tough.

 

Posted

It was funny when I read it. It was even funnier to open Youtube and sing along.

.... where's the darn Like button?


 

Posted

Hey, I was recently wondering where you were! Glad to see a post from you.


If we are to die, let us die like men. -- Patrick Cleburne
----------------------------------------------------------

The rule is that they must be loved. --Jayne Fynes-Clinton, Death of an Abandoned Dog

 

Posted

Yay! Yay! Yay!

You're back - I missed Steelclaw's light-hearted humorous looks at CoH.


Altoholic - but a Blaster at Heart!

Originally Posted by SpyralPegacyon

"You gave us a world where we could fly. I can't thank you enough for that."

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steelclaw View Post
Keep my pancake alive
Keep my pancake alive
I’ll give you all my freakin’ loot
To keep my health supplied
Well...CapeCon has a new karaoke song for next year...



Clicking on the linked image above will take you off the City of Heroes site. However, the guides will be linked back here.

 

Posted

Somebody needs to remind me to go to CapeCon next year. I'm in St. Louis now, so it wouldn't be so much of a chore to go...and I've started listening to The Cape over the last few weeks and all those karaoke songs (crappy recording quality notwithstanding) is definitely enough to make me want to go.


Carl and Sons @Aurora Girl (Pinnacle)
Quote:
Originally Posted by EarthWyrm View Post
But I do understand that there is an internet rule that any bad idea must be presented by someone at least twice a year to remind everyone who hasn't already read every previous thread on the topic precisely why the idea is bad.

 

Posted

Very nice.



 

Posted

If you're looking for very bad singers to perform this for a video, I will gladly volunteer. I make no apologies for any bleeding eardrums caused by such action, however.


Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I was just the one with the most unsolicited sombrero." - Traegus

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mad Grim View Post
Someone should sing this and make a youtube video to a bunch of blaster deaths. The more hilariously bad the singer, the better.
Don't tempt me.


My new Youtube Channel with CoH info
You might know me as FlintEastwood now on Freedom

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten View Post
This looks like a job for...Dark_Respite/Samuraiko!!
I'm already working on a particular project for Steelclaw. With luck, you guys will see the trailer for it as a 'preview' attached to CoVIDEOHELL by the end of the summer.

(And I knew I was living up to his expectations when I made *HIM* spew Coke all over his monitor with my first pass at the trailer.)

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

PS - Steelclaw, don't ever disappear that long again. I was absolutely convinced you'd left and I was now the sole voice for entertainment weirdness on the forums... a very daunting legacy to uphold, let me tell you.


Dark_Respite's Farewell Video: "One Last Day"
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378944: Too Clever by Half / 459581: Kill or Cure / 551680: Clerical Errors (NEW!)

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by JayboH View Post
Do it!


Going to miss the fun and nice people here at CoH. Feel free to add me on PS3/XBox360
PS3X360: OmniNogard
Currently playing: Mass Effect 3(PS3) Minecraft(X360) Skyrim(X360).

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aett_Thorn View Post
If you're looking for very bad singers to perform this for a video, I will gladly volunteer. I make no apologies for any bleeding eardrums caused by such action, however.
Do it, pm me either here or on YT and I will edit up a video.


My new Youtube Channel with CoH info
You might know me as FlintEastwood now on Freedom

 

Posted

Steelclaw (with his great sense of humor) is still alive!

Yay for the rest of us who have a sense of humor.


Throwing darts at the board to see if something sticks.....

Come show your resolve and fight my brute!
Tanks: Gauntlet, the streak breaker and you!
Quote:
Originally Posted by PapaSlade
Rangle's right....this is fun.

 

Posted

Ah Steelclaw....

Nice to see you have returned to the forums.

And please 'Ko or somebody Get this video made!!!

Thank you for the time...


@Travlr (Main) / @Tymers Realm (Test)

Arc 5299: Magic, Mystery, and Mayhem Updated!! 09/15/09

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark_Respite View Post
PS - Steelclaw, don't ever disappear that long again. I was absolutely convinced you'd left and I was now the sole voice for entertainment weirdness on the forums... a very daunting legacy to uphold, let me tell you.
Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. Stratonexus will be joining you in the bullpen shortly.


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Posted

Yeah... That about sums up the classic blaster.

Thank you for sharing! It is good to see you again, Steelclaw. *hug*


 

Posted

Heh... at first I thought someone had necro'd one of your old threads.

*grins*

Good to see you back at the wheel, cap'n!