Poems: Please Change the Statesman's Crotch Login Screen

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd ?
Not tho' the artist knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die,
Into the bare smooth crotch
Rode the six hundred.

I find the coincidence of your board name in this thread..... remarkable.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suspicious_Pkg 'Forward, the Light Brigade!' Was there a man dismay'd ? Not tho' the artist knew Some one had blunder'd: Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do & die, Into the bare smooth crotch Rode the six hundred.

But you stopped too soon.

Crotch to right of them,
Crotch to left of them,
Crotch in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
...

OK, inspiration fails...

I couldn't help but think of Metallica's "One"

I can't remember anything
Can't tell if this is true or dream
Splash screen pops up and I want to scream
This terrible silence stops it there

Now that the last issue is through with me
I'm booting up, too much crotch to see
Horror inside that’s left for me
Nothing is real but shame now

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god, wake me

Back at the login it's much too real
In words can’t express how I feel
Way too much it can reveal
Ruins the online life that I live

Fed through the updates devs give me
Just like an MMO novelty
Tied to machines and grind XP
Cut this splash screen off from me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god, wake me

Now the crotch is there, I'm just one
Oh god, help me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god, help me

His crotch, imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped by myself
Loading screen hell

His crotch has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my caring
Log into my farm
Log into my base
Taken my soul
Free me from this log in hell

My candle burns at both ends,
It will not last the night,
But, ah, my foes, and, oh, my friends;
Statesman's crotch is an ugly sight.

I have nothing to contribute but I would like to show my support for a thread that is quickly becoming one of my favourites. Never so many have written about so little.

An ode to Statesman, our former King.
He walked into an obvious trap, so his last fight he could not win.
Now to much dismay, it has to be put on a daily display.
That he was missing his ding-a-ling.

O Marcus Cole, Marcus Cole, wherefore art thou genitals?
Deny thy ***** and refuse thy testes;
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn an eunuch
And I'll no longer be horrified.

Oh Statesman, you have been protecting us and saving the city for so long.
Your legacy to the world, Miss Liberty and Ms. Liberty, made many men , and woman, say Giggity Giggity.
But in your final hour, with a picture that is so wrong, all we can say is: "Dude, you got no shlong!"

A fruitless request
Impossible to please all
With anatomy

I miss you in the morning;
I miss you late at night.
Just to think about you
Is my joy and my delight.


I can't wait to see you;
Please hurry and come back.
You always make me happy;
I'm talking about Statesman's crotch.


....... uhhh

A Psalm of Crotch:

Tell me not in mournful numbers
Load screens are an empty scene
for the soul is dead that slumbers
when the crotch is to be seen

States is real, States is earnest
and one TF is not his all
Loads and splashes which returneth
Show us State's is "very small"

Close no load screen, howe're pleasant
Let NCsoft flash the dead
And, within that glimpsing present
see if you can get a head.

Let us then be up and loading
with a heart for any shot
Still AE-ing, still TF-ing,
Glad we don't have Statesman's crotch

Parody Verse for 'Can I Kick it?' by A Tribe Called Quest.

Can I shwing it? (Yes, you can!)
Can he shwing it? (Yes, he can!)
Can you shwing it? (Yes, I can!)
Can we shwing it? (Yes, we can!)
Can it shwing it? (Yes, it can!)
Can they shwing it? (Yes, they can!)
Can States shwing it? (No, he can't!)

Well, I'm gone (Just like his shlong!)

Big Mister Statesman,
Stood proud as he can,
Posed and looking our way.
Along came an artist,
Who thought he was smartest,
And took his manhood away.

**Damien**

Song of My Crotch (by Walt Statesman, from "Leaves of Crotch")

1
I CELEBRATE my crotch, and sing my crotch,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

I loafe and invite your eyes,
I lean back and loafe at my ease and show you a spear of emptiness.

My crotch, every atom of my blood, form'd from this soil, this air,
Born here of parents born here from parents the same, and their
parents the same,
I, now many years old in failing health begin,
Hoping never to cease, even when dead.

Creeds and schools in abeyance,
Retiring back a while sufficed at what they are, but never forgotten,
I harbor for good and better, I permit to speak at every hazard,
Nature without check, with abominable pubic width.

The Crotch of time, Reveals the hope
For Paragon City!
Lets Grab And Poke the endless stream
of Yellow Pee Pee,

You wonder why we do this?
Because we wear tights.
Heroes
Heroes
We seem like fruit cakes
Heroes
Heroes
We seem like fruit cakes

Now Statesman said before he died
"Make sure you all lick my side"
Heroes
Heroes
We seem like fruit cakes
Heroes
Heroes
We seem like fruit cakes

When we dine at Bloody Bay
the Villains sit and watch us say
Heroes
Heroes
We seem like Fruit cakes.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I log in most;
'Tis better to have crotch and lost
Than never to have crotch at all.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments, how botched,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my crotch.

While not a Poem... I've made a program that lets you change your login screen... http://webapps.sgspaces.net/cohstuff/click.php?id=5

Poor Maudy is a’Mac.
The thing keeps coming back.

Statesman's crotch
Not a semblance
Of resemblance
To human anatomy
No buttocks
No genitals
Abnormally large
Expanse between thighs
Perfectly smooth
Confoundingly curved
What is in those tights?

__________________

A completely original work by me:

I could have live my life and been full of merries...
To log in and never see Statesman's lack of twig and berries.
But lo, I must run program and see...
Statesman's crotch staring back at me.
Boldly displayed by the proud hero...
Flaunting a bulge of approximately zero.
This image is forever burned into my eyes...
Why oh why couldn't it have been Sister Psyche's thighs?




.....Oh...right....Manticore......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smiling_Joe ::looks at RaikenX's signature:: Something funny.