Superadine, Gamma Rays, Internet Forums

So, I've begun to notice, the forums are kind of like gamma rays and Superadine for me. Seriously. In-game and IRL, I'm one of the most easy-going, diplomatic guys around. Something along the lines of this prank would be an instant laugh. But on the forums, I take things seriously, get rubbed the wrong way, argue to defend points (and counter-points, and counter-counter-points) that I don't even care about, and don't think about outside of those arguments. My sarcasm detector malfunctions, my sense of humor and even my personality seemingly become mutated and warped. Like, to the point where I get uncharacteristically blunt (apologies for that). And, really, I'm just getting started posting around here. Being a superpowered hero in real life*, I can't allow this to be the way I interact with people.

Sometimes, I think it's not just me. Sometimes I'll make a comment, and someone will nitpick a barely-related aside, and then everyone will spiral into a shouting match over it, or at least start popping popcorn. Okay, that's obviously not just me. But later, I'll realize I'm not even sure I gave my own points enough thought to agree with them, let alone the points of anyone else. That is definitely just me. I hope. For all our sakes. Anyway, I have no explanation for this other than chalking it up to me being really bad at Internet forums. In the past two years since I subscribed, these forums have increasingly represented my only significantly negative experience with City of Heroes. The less I lurk, the more I post and interact, the more negative my experience is. Why use a service that you don't find enjoyable? In the past few days, I have deleted several posts right after making them, just to avoid discovering myself in the middle of another petty quibbling match.

The most obvious solution is to stop posting, which should be OK by me, and you; I haven't really become entrenched or useful around here yet. I could just follow those whose posts I enjoy, much like I always have. The less-obvious solution is to change the way I post and interact. Being a super-powered, world-famous genius, I've learned to respect the scientific method, which is all about falling on your face a lot and only being right sometimes.

Making this thread is kind of selfish: it's a public reminder to myself, to avoid reactionary posting in threads (feel free to link me to it). But I'm also hoping to hear advice or stories from fellow "newbies", or Veterans. Some people around here truly impress me, because of their ability to avoid the tastiest troll bait, or to trim the fat and cut straight to the chase while maintaining civility. Really, that is all I ever want to do when I communicate textually; but time and time again in this environment, I let myself down.

*I'm not really a superpowered hero in real life.

It took me a while to get that "DANGIT, I'M RIGHT AND YOU ALL AREN'T" type of attitude outta my system. Probably still some lurkin', but I suppress it... totally not worth an anyurism.

Now, I don't generally answer threads unless one of two things happen:

1) I can be a smart-alec and get away with it, if desired...
2) and/or I can be helpful, or at least think I might...

If I have an *opinion*, I take it up with rules 1 and 2, and then go with rule three as a decider:

3) I do not have to do anything, except maybe hit 'next'. Might not be worth it to post.

And dismiss the topic from my head when rule 3 is executed. Oh, yeah, and this:

4) The internet (which includes forums) is full of idiots, myself included. So I take it all with a grain of salt, and don't overreact, or get high blood pressure. Totally not worth it.

There. Think that about covers it. I enjoy dabbling with the forums, but it's not like I have to be right or make someone believe my point of view. I'll tell my side, maybe a couple of follow ups, but then... kinda got other stuff to do.

/dunno if that helps, but I had the same issue a while back, so...

I learned everything I need to know about posting on the internet from Dogbert in the Dilbert comic strip. He was prepping Ratbert for appearing on a TV show.

Everyone else has read the same books and seen the same shows that you have. Therefore, if they disagree with you, it must be because they are stupid.

...Do I know you?

It's because this forum plays host to numerous jerks that want to pick on [insert target group that holds viewpoint X here]. It's standard issue for every Internet forum.

Eh. I spent my first few days when I tried getting into things here arguing (it was the gender equality thing, I have Feelings about that) and then I realized it was just people yelling out at the wind and I was one of them.

And if you do get a reply, then you're stuck in an angry argument.

Five pages of meandering later.

In conclusion, that's why I should be elected. Also, it's easier to go 'is this the hill I want to die on?' before starting a reply.

It's the anonymous nature of the beast combined with the inability to decipher tone of statements/body language etc.

When in a face to face situation, discussing something is more civil because of the ability to know that your words are being heard and understood. This also makes it easier to go back and re-explain key parts of your arguement when they aren't understood. Knowing that this 'back and forth' is how it works, makes you more willing to remain calm while discussing it.

Online however, you don't have the luxury of being able to 'read' them. You have to trust that your words are enough to convey the emotion behind them as well. Then, not being able to be sure that the person even bothered to read your words, you end up repeating points in an effort to make it clear.
This leads to the snowball effect...

Combine that with the invisible man syndrome* and there ya go.


*It's amazing what you can do... when you don't have to look at yourself in the mirror any more.

I take absolutely nothing said on an internet forum seriously, and this saves me a LOT of frustration and anger. I don't ever say anything I don't mean, and whatever I say is pretty much the entirety of what I mean (reading more into my posts than what's there is a surefire way to think I'm saying something that I'm not - and then you get all mad and start spouting off while I'm over here going "?!?!?"). If I didn't *SAY IT*, then I didn't MEAN IT... More of the internet needs to figure this type of interaction out.

The way I deal with the internet seems to piss other people off, especially people who have too much invested in their internet selves, which I find *vastly* amusing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dispari I don't know why Dink thinks she's not as sexy as Jay was. In 5 posts she's already upstaged his entire career.

I never argue on the internet.

forums tend to draw certain personality types. it happens. I have been known to rage out occasioanlly, but usually right afterwards its more the embarrassment of" oh heck, they got me to waste time on this". happiness is a full ignore list

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

I thought they were English words.

Im an angry person 24/7! grrrrrr

*Still waiting for that day when GG finally loses it and goes ape on us all*

It's post like these, Cap'n, that makes me hope no one could stay mad at ya!

I try to add in bits of levity and disclaimers of understanding the opposite side and that it's not important and how I'm fine either way and go into long-winded examinations of things from both sides, while sometimes contradicting myself and often times all of these over and over again, risking great redundancy and always with a further smattering of humor (often pointed at myself)... and the end result is often times getting ignored!
And hopefully a few laughs here and there for my fellow forumites.

I say, keep at it... you can only get better... or worse, really... Haha... I suppose things could stay exactly the same as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tenzhi I never argue on the internet.

You do too.

I have to get ready for work, but I'm very happy to see that there's a boatload of advice waiting for me when I get back tonight. I really do want to enjoy myself more here, and hopefully, some others have found this thread useful too.