Lord Recluse, I Choose YOU!

So, one of the selectable Veteran Rewards powers in the upcoming Freedom changes is going to be the ability to summon a Signature Character to help you out and do your bidding in battle...

The mind boggles...

* Lord Recluse: Let me get this straight, you have summoned me to help you fight a stonger opponent... when you KNOW my philosophy is the strong eat the weak... and you don't see any flaw to your logic?

* Ghost Widow: For the last time, the summoning is COMBAT RELATED ONLY! I am NOT going to help you reproduce Stantz's dream sequence from Ghostbusters!

(would someone in-office please explain that joke to TunnelRat?)

* Captain Mako: Ooooh... No... no more summoning... I've been summoned ten times today already and it's not even noon yet.... I couldn't... UUURRPP... possibly eat another bite...

* Lord Nemesis: Yes... yes... I get it... Lord Nemesis is now involved in a CaptainUnderpants plot... how droll... haven't heard THAT one at least a million times so far...

* Willie Wheeler: You're fighting Hamidon and you summoned ME?! What were you THINKING?!?!

* Blue Steel: Listen, it's not MY fault you get no experience points when you summon me... bad guys just run away like that whenever I show up... still... you have to admit Hamidon makes the funniest Ki-Yi-Yi sound as he runs away with his psuedo-pod between his legs...

* Fusionette: Okay! I had a few problems on the way to the summoning but I finally got here! Who do I have to fight? Wait... why are we in the hospital?

* Television: Well, no, as a matter of fact I can't help you with the actual fighting... I AM only a TV after all... what can I do then? I can edit the footage and replay the battle after the fact to make it LOOK like you didn't get your a** kicked.

* Silver Mantis: Okay, I destroyed your opponent for you... I'm still feeling a little itchy and unsatisfied though... heh... YOUR turn...

* Synapse: Why is it... ouch!... That I ONLY... hey, watch where you're sticking that!... get summoned to... OWIE! ... PVP zones?!?!

* Willie Wheeler: You're fighting Crey and you summoned ME?! What were you THINKING?!

* Statesman: I'm just saying that every other Signature Character get summoned for ulterior reasons. Heck, even Stephan got summoned just the other day because some freaky female villain had a spider fetish... Why am I the only one who gets summoned for battle only? (sighs) Fine, fine... I'll beat up the bad guy... but maybe afterwards we could go out for a drink? No? FINE.

* Manticore: Okay... that's it... I'm not fighting ANYONE until you tell me why so many of you morons are summoning with tears in your eyes. Heck, the last one summoned me "just to say goodbye one last time." Now SPILL! What the heck is wrong with all you players? What do you mean you wanted one more look before the Developers off me?!?

* Sister Psyche: Why are you sitting outside my house with binoculars? You wouldn't happen to be waiting for me to step into the shower before starting your summoning, would you? Yeah, now is NOT the time to be remembering I'm a mind-reader.

* Positron: Numina, really... the summoning power is supposed to be used for emergencies... No, I don't think "I wanted some snuggly-pookie-time" counts as an emergency.

* Willie Wheeler: You're fighting Hellions and you summoned ME?! What were you THINKING?!?!

* Citadel: I am here! What enemies are we fighting? Is it the nefarious Lord Recluse? Is it the heinous Emperor Cole? Point me in a direction friend and I shall aid you with all the powers at my disposal! What? Er, no... I don't think I can help your player get his computer to run faster in the real world. No... I don't... but... (sighs) Has he tried defragmenting his hard drive?

* Foreshadow: I did NOT show up late. I just knew you'd be able to defeat your opponent even without my help... and look... I was right. So why did I bother to show up at all? If you could see the look on your face right now you wouldn't need to ask that.

* Luminary: 404 Error Hero Not Found. Just kidding! Here I am...

* Azuria: You summoned me? When? Two days ago? Huh, sorry... I must have misplaced the requisition form.

* Willie Wheeler: You're fighting... Ummm... wait a second... Who ARE you fighting? I don't see any enemies around here at all. Oh thank GAWD! You have no idea how many times I've had to run away squealing from powerful enemies since they started this Signature Character summoning thing! At LAST someone summons me to do something other than fight! Now, what can Willie Wheeler do for you? Say! You look kind of familiar... Didn't you summon me to fight the entire Freedom Phalanx a week or so ago... Uh... why are you grinning like that? Oh... crap...

That was excellent as always Steelclaw.

Especially Willy Wheeler's parts

I want to hear Hamidon squealing "Ki-Yi-Yi ..."

I'd like to summon Swan, Numina or Sister Psyche to Virtue pocket D... seems fun.

Brilliant, the Foreshadow one was my fav

Doc Buzzsaw: Ok I'm here now who do you want dead... Whats that? You have a brain tumor? That's not really my sepc... I mean yes of course I can remove it, just stand still for a moment...

I loved Citadel. Positron was great as well.

Somehow I don't picture States as the "go grab a brewski" type of guy. That said, the mere image of him suggesting that is very funny.

Dr. Aeon: ... No. One to teleport! *fzzzzt*

For some reason I keep picturing Statesman in a situation similar to the one in "Shrek Forever After". You know the one where the kid was following him around going "Do the roar." Not going to attempt a joke though. I'm not witty enough to make it funny.

Steelclaw. Win.

Synonymous

Usually, when people do something great, the people around them chant "Speech, speech, speech!"

When Steelclaw's around, the people around him chant "List, list, list!"

When can I summon Steelclaw to get on the spot help with delivering puns?

This was hilarious.

Summon Arcanaville!
Arcanaville: You have a 56% chance of defeating this mob without my help I'll just stand here and cheer you until you die then I'll defeat it myself.

Steelclaw: One second, I just need to modify my spreadsheet...


Also, you owe me a new chair, I fell out of this one

Okay fine... Though I SERIOUSLY doubt any of us will ever be made into Signature Characters (although I can see the Devs making me the personal assistant cabana boy to Lanaru the Mad as revenge for the times I've mentioned them in my posts.) Here are a few for in-game summon-able Signature Forumites I thought of off the top of my head:

* Steelclaw: Sure, I'll help you... my pleasure... but... errr... well, you see I just deleted my Avatar and started over... so I'll help... but I'm only first level... Again.

* Arcanaville: Absolutely not. I will not help such a mathematically challenged build. If you want me to help you then you need to respec and re-slot your powers in the most advantageous way possible. So... before we battle... we need to go SHOPPING!

* Steelclaw: Okay... so before we begin... allow me to give you the Top Ten Reasons You Should Have Summoned Someone OTHER Than Steelclaw! I bet by now you've figured out number one for yourself...

* Dark_Respite: Stop! STOP!! This is all wrong! This room is FAR too small for me to properly film a battle scene. Okay everyone! Exit the mission! Give me twenty minutes to set up a small AE mission with these enemies on an outdoor map...

* Steelclaw: Devouring Earth, eh? Well, we'd best get to it. I mean, I don't want to STONEwall the process so we'd better LEAF immediately. Although I should refuel first, I'm about four QUARTZ low. Keep your tactics tight against these enemies there's no SHROOM for error, they could SWARM us under at any moment! And how about those... hey... wait... where are you guys going?!

* Arbiter Fabulous: Thanks for summoning me, I'll be happy to fight along side y.... DEAR LORD! Stripes with prints?! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

* Steelclaw: Okay, so I've died twenty times in the last mission and a half. If you guys would stop running from spawn to spawn I wouldn't have to type my jokes in the middle of a battle! Oh for the love of... there you go again... STAND STILL FOR A BLOODY SECOND!

* Chaos Creator (primarily due to his forum avatar): Hey, what are you and Arcanaville doing in Wentworths? Shopping? Let me just take a look at... ACK! What are you doing?! That's it... looks like I'm going to have to teach you how to buy things on the market without getting ripped off. Just... (wide smile)... give me a shopping list and all your money and I'll not only buy the things you need... I'll even show you how to turn a profit...

*Golden Girl: