Getting Fired

Okay, so I came back after a long time away, to try GR. I just re-upped for 3 months. Been trying some new toons, and getting back on my old ones to see what's up with the SG, and I noticed in my SG that Merryl had indeed been on about 12 days ago now. Maybe she will be back too, and the XP express can roll again.

Anyways... I finally got around to trying an Elec controller. So now my hypothetical question... (not that I would actually DO this, but just for fun)

What things could a person do to get fired from their job, so they can just collect unemployment and sit home and play their controller all day. Lol. And let's not limit it to just one job, but for any job.

Here's a couple things I thought about.

1. When I get to work, just stay in my car, and say "I'm here, that should be enough."

2. Show up in my pajamas and say, "I forgot to change clothes."

3. Overflow the toilet at every opportunity.

4. Set off the sprinkler system.

5. Stand there constantly eating candy bars, with chocolate all over my face going, "Whut?".

Well, wish I could think of some more, but I gotta go to work now grrrrr.

Eat other people's lunches, if you have a break room with a fridge that other employees stash them in. Be sure to get caught repeatedly.

Great money-saving tactic, too. This is a good thing to point out when you get caught.

Jump around your workplace playing air guitar. All Day. With no music.

Sad thing is, a lot of what you guys mentioned probably wouldn't get you fired. Get a talking-to, or get sent to counseling maybe, but if they think you have some kind of non-dangerous mental illness (or gastro-intestinal problems if you're taking your abuse out on the toilet), and that in itself might keep you for getting fired for fear of a lawsuit.

Not to worry, tho'! Getting fired can still be a breeze! The most effective method I can think of would be to give your boss a wedgie. It's a powerful 1-2 punch of Assault and Sexual Harassment in one childish gesture!

Who's Meryl?

Merryl Lightclaw... on Champion... was pretty well known for running "Merryl's XP Tours", and people really wanted to join those teams lol. One day she rolled up a new Controller and started it all over again, from AP to King's Row, etc. Then she picked up my Willpower/EM tanker and a Dark/Dark defender on a random PUG one morning, and we rocked so hard we made a SG called "Merryl's XP Tours" lol.

But yeah, I'm not sure they would let me bring my 'puter to the mental hospital. (I'm not gonna mention the Dom players, all straight-jacketed over in the corner, drooling and laughing maniacally. "I'm not LIKE them! I'm NOT LIKE them! NOoooo!") I don't wanna be committed, just fantasizing about having more time to play my controller lol. They are kinda slow if you're soloing. I call it "slowloing".

However... if they did put you on some kind of "enforced leave" for, um... medical reasons... then you'd be able to play more. Kind of like a vacation. With prescription medications.

Let's see, what could one do to be put on a mental health break?

1. Bring a bunch of potatoes to work, put them all over the place. Then freak out if anybody touches them.

2. (I do like the above suggestion of eating other people's lunches, but it needs a little something... more.) Like, bringing some caged white doves and you celebrate eating the stolen lunch by releasing them! Be free! Be Freeeee!

3. Stand leaning against the wall near the water fountain, filling a cup over and over, and trying to drink from the wrong side. Then just stare at everyone's left hands and say "How am I doing this WRONG? Stop watching me!"

4. I would say bring a raw turkey dressed as a baby (the turkey, not you), but before long, Thanksgiving will be here, so people probly wouldn't notice. "Hey. Nice turkey."

5. (Possibly the best one so far) Hire Joe Pesci to go have a "discussion" with your boss, then suddenly you get a month of paid vacation!

But seriously, I do love my elec/ta, lots of de-buff goodness. But no heals, so I'm thinking about picking up the Medicine Pool. I already grabbed Hover and threw a defense enhancer in it, so I can just hover near the mobs, and hit 'em with everything. If I used that Aid Self, I probly wouldn't have much trouble with being interrupted, with the mobs not being able to hit me too often.

Just... stop going to work. Play your controller. When your boss calls tell them you've taken yourself hostage and you won't be released until you get your next ten paychecks in advance. Then it's a win-win.

Play your controller at work. If you get caught, you get fired and get to go home and play your controller. If you don't get caught, you got paid to play your controller. You win any way you slice it.

Do a Costanza on your desk.

Go into your bosses office, punch yourself a lot, break some furnature and claim HE did it. You won't get FIRED, you'll get "Shut up" money and be set for a long time!

Bonus points if you remind yourself of a fight you once had with your imaginary friend.

Yo Merryl! Yeah seems like everybody went to Freedom. I know I have a few toons over there... lemme see...

Oh yeah
50 Fire Kin (Twiztastic. God, now I remember all those AE missions. Faces melting)
42 SoA (the one I was trying to make a Bane)
42 Thugs/Dark MM (Destiny Chase)
39 Spines/Dark scrapper (Marichal)
38 Widow (This one got the Skyster name. Going for Fort)
38 Kin/Elec Def (Vivian O'Blivion, kind of a sapper)
26 SS/SD Broot (Peppermint, she's pretty strong)
21 Emp/Elec def (Skylarker, she's guilty of Skylarkings... and tomfoolerys)
(Isn't it great being a vet?)
and that level 7 WS...

I think we both made little Warshades over there one day and were running around in Galaxy lol. Yeah now I remember... right before I left is when we were kind of moving over there to Freedom.

Oh well, there is an empty slot, guess I could make a elec/ta over there too. Do ya have another SG over there too? Champion has been pretty dead lately, at least when I'm on. That's why I was "slowloing". And losing my mind. Maybe I don't have to get fired?!?!?
Maybe I can catch the XP Express, and add some sick de-buffy goodness.



EDIT: kk I made a baby elec/ta on Freedom. Named her Sky Larkings lol. But now I gotta *sigh* go to work....

Quit, file unemployment under "hostile work enviroment" like I did just a month ago = profit.
For you, you could go w/the whole "they wont let me play my troll'r like I wanna!!! Wahh!!"

Or kick it up a notch and claim a variety of true, and untrue statements. Manager is hitting on me. Manager tries to watch me pee. I can show you on the anatomically correct doll where he touched me.

Or just go w/he's disciplining me all the time for a variety of BS thats not true.

Hell NO!!!!

I wont even walk into a Walmart let alone work for them. And, I'm not even exxagarating.

Actually, I think I got my copy of Going Rogue at Walmart. Should I be ashamed of that?

I know, I know, "Pffft! You shopped at walmart. You're lame." Yeah I had to take my mom there to get her prescriptions. Even lamer.

Why? Because I'm having to use her car, a freakin hundai. Even lamer?

Why? Because my jeep is in the shop. Super lame.

Why? Because the computer fried, and that burned up the transmission. Ultra smoky-flamey lame.

It's a good thing I'm a Sarcasm / Silliness tanker, or I wouldn't be able to stand all that lameness damage.

Merryl and I went to RWZ for a bit. I'ts kinda tricky on a 'troller, teaming with a brute. Don't really wanna sap, just debuff their acc, and basically just keep the brute from dying. I think you still generate fury, even if their swing misses? Well, I think I did all right, only died twice lol. Didn't even know you could get alvl 12 into RWZ now. @_@

Take your MP3 player and some speakers to your bosses desk. Play "Killing in the name of" by Rage Against the Machine that says "---- you, I won't do what you tell me!" and proceed to sing along while dancing on his/her desk and breaking random items.