Superhero answerphone message

We've all been there, we're in the middle of an epic fight to save the world when what happens? You guessed it, your MOM rings you on your mobile. Obviously you cant always answer your phone, so what would your superhero answerphone message be?

Hi you have reached noob busters hotline, if you are a noob who'ld like to leave a message, please push the red button now.

^^^ My one

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@Damz Find me on the global channel Union Chat. One of the best "chat channels" ingame!

Taking the darker side of things ---

"You dare disturb me? Leave your message, so that I may DESTROY you!"

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"Don't you know dead is spelled m-e-n-t-a-l in CoH? - SapphireShot

"Paragon Mobile Communications! The customer you are calling has left the dimension or traveled beyond the PMC service radius. Please try your call again later! Message 3E-395." (beep)

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If you are being attacked by a low lvl thug please hang up now. {Beep}

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Greetings simpleton, you are through to Doctor Mechano's voicemail, if you are inquiring about scientific experiments, a Cap Au University mad scientist work experience placement or require the building of killer robots, please leave a message after the maniacal laughter...MUWAHAHAAHA

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"I used to make diddly squat, but I've been with the company for 16 years and have had plenty of great raises. Now I just make squat" -- Me

Pediatric brain tumors are the #1 cause of cancer related deaths in children.

"...ang on. Is this flamin' thing on yet? Aw crap, hang on... sorry, I'm not here at the moment but, uh... just leave a mess- aw, what now... OI!

What the hell do ya think you're playin' at, man! *CLANG!*
What did I flamin' well tell you about breakin' in here again? *CLANG!*
I told you, man! *CLANG!*
Never *CLANG!*
Break *CLANG!*
Into *CLANG!*
My place *CLANG!*
AGAIN!! *EPIC CLANG!!*
Now get the flamin' hell out, and if I catch you again, it won't be a flamin' pan I'll use! *SLAM!*

Flamin' ingrate... aw what the f- {BEEP}"

The sad part is, Richie probably won't have figured out how to re-record it again to this day.

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Sam: "My mind is a swirling miasma of scintillating thoughts and turgid ideas."
Max: "Me too."

Stuff

Hello. I'm not a superhero. But if you are in trouble, leave your name, the time, your gps location, the type of problem you are having, and try to remain calm while doing so. Oh, and please call back and leave a message if you have already been rescued or no longer need to be rescued. *beep*

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I'd probably go the House rout and leave it blank. Or do what I do in real life and turn off my cell phone when I can't answer it. Or, you know, just let it ring and call the caller back when I can.

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* "This is HeroMan... the position of sidekick has been filled so if you are calling about... Wait! LemmingLad! Don't go near that obvious trap!! Oh dear. Ummm... As I was saying... HeroMan is currently seeking a young, beginner hero interested in sidekicking... please leave your name and number here and fax your resume to..."

* "This is Doctor Robotnik... please leave your message with my machine... or rather with THIS machine.. which shall relay it to one of my other machines... who will broadcast it to one of my personal defense machines who will relay it to me. No wait... I forgot a machine... let's see... there's the answering machine... then the message sorting machine... hmm.. I'd better figure this out before the outgoing runs out of spa<click>"

* "You have reached the line of Slaughter McHomicide; genocidal nightmare, harbringer of the Apocalypse, yadda-yadda-yadda... Leave your message after the beep... oh... and when you leave that message include detailed information about how you got this number in the first place... where you live... and the names and addresses of your closest next of kin... have a nice day!"

* "Hello! If you're calling for Bob Smith you have the wrong number! Ha-ha. The number you want to call is 555-5532... Hang up now and try THAT number instead... Hmm-hmm-hmmm da-dee-dah... Still there? Okay.. If you're calling for Stupendous Man I apologize for the misleading message intro. Far too many super villains are trying to discover my secret identity so I had to outwit them. Leave your message after the beep."

* "I'm not at home right now... Leave your message after the FREEM!"

* "You have reached the machine of Super Spy Assassin. I am not available right now to take your message. If you are an ally of mine you have already entered the secret access code by this time. If you have reached this number by accident I strongly suggest you hang up the phone now as my security system is about to send a 10 million gigajoule electrical jolt through your phone and into your brain. If you are an enemy of mine please stay on the line and an operator will be right with you."

* "You have reached the number of Mister Mercenary. If you are in danger and in need of rescue please have your credit card ready and press one now. We no longer accept Diner's Club."

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My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

Hi mom, thanks for calling AGAIN. I'm busy kicking baddie butt, so I can't answer my cell right now. If this is anyone else, stop laughing.....

((All in character))

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Greetings!
you have contacted Dr HR, If you are in any current danger..please note i do not care and hope you die.
however if you are not in any current danger, please leave your details so i can fix that for you later..thank you

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The Joker had the best one I've heard.

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Hello, you've reached the Quinsisdos Thug Mashing Service, you may select from the following seven options;

- To arrange a warehouse bust, press one
- To arrange a mugging rescue, press two
- To ask for assistance in taking down Rikti, press three
- To compliment me on my costume, press four
- To claim this phone service is a Nemesis plot, press five
- To donate influence to my IO fund, press six
- To help me solve my crippling scrapperlock issues, press seven
- For all other enquiries, please hold the line while I clear these offices out of Malta

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"Hello, you've reached the phone of [Name], a gifted surgeon and nothing more. Please leave your message after the beep."

"Hello, this is [Name], mild-mannered reporter speaking. I'm not here right now. I'm out, uh, doing mild-mannered reporter ... things. So you'll have to leave a message."

"Wayne's Manor, Alfred speaking. I'm afraid young master Bruce is otherwise occupied at the moment, but if you tell me your name and the intent of your call I will inform him you have called as soon as he wakes up tomorrow morn- well, as soon as he wakes up tomorrow."

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Hello, I have super-hearing. Please hang-up and speak clearly.

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Speeding Through New DA Repeatables || Spreadsheet o' Enhancements || Zombie Skins: better skins for these forums || Guide to Guides

"Hello, you've reach Vanessa DeVore. Since you are calling my phone, it means I am not yet psychically linked to you. So if you would leave your name, GPS coordinates, and bust size, I'll make sure to get right to you..."

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*In an obviously fake deeper voice* "Hello, you've reached a secret government phone line. We are currently tracing your location using our amazing spy satellites."

*Second person*"Hehehe"

*Regular voice*"Ssh man, this is hard enough as it is!"

*Deep voice*"If you would please stay on the line, we will be able to find you and..."

*Regular voice*"Hahaha, I can't do it. You've reached Frostfire, leave your name and message after the tone."

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"HeythisisSynapsesorryyoucouldn'treachme.Leaveyour name,number,message,andanythingelseafterthetone."

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To right the countless wrongs of our day, we shine the light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise. What a wonderful world such would be....


I'm sorry what was that, I couldn't hear you over my TRAGIC PAST!!

Ugh this is on my celly right now and has been for the past 2 years >.>

"Hi I am fighting Banished Pantheons in Dark Astoria right now, I will call you back when I have to unload my bag at the Auction House. Thanks for calling."

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Hello, Clark Kent is not in right now, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you. If you are trying to reach my good friend Superman, please leave a message and I will let him know as soon as possible. If it's an emergency, just scream HEEELP! and I'm pretty sure he'll be able to get to you sooner. *beep*

HELLO! You have reached the superhero rescue hotline. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. If you know your parties three digit extension, please dial it at any time.

If you are trapped in a burning building, press 1 or say "fire".

If you are being held hostage, press 2 or say "hostage".

If you are a supervillain and are calling to place a trap, press 3 or say "Muahaha".

If you would like to begin the application process to join, press 4 or say "join".

If you would like to speak to an operator, press 0 or stay on the line.

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