Wretch Strike Force

Going by the pattern of Silver Mantis and Barracuda, eventually we're gonna have to have a Strike Force where our contact is the Wretch.

I've got a feeling the devs may have to hire Steelclaw to write it.

At least we've not ended up with the Black Scorpion SF. With the dialogue of FEAR ME!

What we REALLY need is a Nemesis TF.

Contact: Wretch

Zone: Mercy Island
Location: Standing JUST OUTSIDE Door To Ghost Widow’s Tower
Minimum Size: 6 players
Level Range: 10 to 17
Merits: 25
Badge: Wretched Refuse

Under Leveled:
“WEAK!!”

Not Enough People:
“MORE!!”

Form Strike Force

Briefing:
“Wretch in trouble! Wretch so dumb! Wretch not remember… not know where… Huh? You!! You help Wretch?”

Mission Acceptance:
“YAY!! Wretch feel better already! Wretch can not find… can not remember… Wretch need someone who know… Smart person… Smart person… Oh! Doctor am smart! Doctor Eeeyon… Doctor Eeyore… no… Think Wretch Think! Doctor Aeon! You am go ask Doctor Aeon where is… Help Wretch! Oh! Wretch think you need pretty name! So Wretch will not forget… Wretch call you STRIKE FORCE NAME.”

Unecessary Solicitation:
“You back already? No leave yet?! Don’t make Wretch angry… you not like Wretch when he angry!”

Mission Objective:
“Doctor Aeon has once more withdrawn to the private study of his scientific pursuits. You don’t think you’ll be able to simply make an appointment.”

Enemy Type: Arachnos
Objective: Defeat Appointment Secretary(boss) and guards; Speak with Doctor Aeon

Doctor Aeon: “What’s that? Wretch sent you? Sent you for what? You don’t know? Pardon my momentary fit of pique but am I to understand that you just invaded my lab, slaughtered a good number of my workers, eviscerated my Appointment Secretary and… worst of all… interrupted my brilliant thought process… and you don’t know WHY!? Tell that lumbering oaf that if it weren’t for Ghost Widow’s protection I would happily transplant what’s in his skull for the contents of a brain damaged hamster!! And it would STILL be an improvement.. wait… no… wait.. don’t tell him that.. er… tell him Doctor Aeon said ‘I don’t know the answer’… yes… let’s not upset the beast.. er.. gentleman… shall we?”

Debriefing:
“Big brain smart guy not know?! This not good! Wretch in some trouble now!”

Briefing:
“Brainy Eeyore not help Wretch with smarts… Wretch need help… If book smarty guy not help Wretch then maybe magic smarty guy help! Go talk Triangle of Sticky-Burrs! Wretch know magic men can find what Wretch looking for!”

Mission Acceptance:
“Sticky-Burr men gots glowing eyes… Wretch bet they see everything with eyes like that!”

Unnecessary Solicitation:
“Why you still here Big Puffy Pants Whack Force? No… Pink Shoe String Punch Force? Wretch HATE remembering names… Oh! STRIKE FORCE NAME… Ugh… Now Wretch head hurt. Leave Wretch alone.”

Misson Objective:
“Well, you don’t really know what to ask these magic slingers, but since when did you ever need a reason to beat the tar out of someone?”

Enemy Type: Circle of Thorns
Objective: Defeat those in caves until one tells you what you need to know (in other words: Defeat All)

Clue: You have defeated every Circle of Thorns member in the caves. After the fifth or sixth one laughed at you for not knowing what you were looking for you just stopped asking the question. Indeed, by the time you finished you were killing them more to keep the rumor of this debacle from spreading all over the Rogue Isles than for any fact-finding purpose.

Debriefing:
“Glowing eye men not know?! What good magic if not help find things? Hmm… Wretch DO like rabbit from hat though… Wretch really like it with ketchup.”

Briefing:
”Wretch have idea… Idea smell like bacon… No… that breakfast… wait… Oh! Wretch remember… Wretch think maybe Wretch not forget where thing is… Wretch think maybe bad person STEAL thing from Wretch while Wretch not looking other way.. Lots of bad people on Rogue Isles… Wonder who steal something from Wretch…?”

Mission Acceptance:
“Wretch know! Wretch always see yellow flying whup-whup men stealing stuff! You go beat up yellow men with backpacks that go whup-whup-whup and get back what they took from Wretch!”

Unnecessary Solicitation:
“Whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup… Wretch LIKE that sound… Whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup…”

Mission Objective:
Enemy Type: Goldbrickers
Objective: Defeat 20 Goldbrickers in Cap Au Diable

Clue: Although the ones you defeated don’t know whether anything has recently been stolen from Wretch, the last one you clobbered did tell you which warehouse contains all the most recently stolen items.

Mission Objective:
“Well, you still don’t know what you’re looking for, but maybe this will be the place to find it… … … Maybe you really should have listened to your mom’s suggestions to become a dentist.”

Enemy Type: Gold Brickers
Objective: Defeat boss and guards; find and search 5 possible crates

Late Boomer(boss): “Alright, alright! I’ll talk. Stop hitting me! Sure, we steal lots of stuff… what are you looking for? Something we stole from Wretch? You can’t be serious… Listen, pal, we steal TECHNOLOGICAL equipment. Wretch is so backwards he still doesn’t know which end of the hammer to grab. He’s so tech-deficient he thinks a laptop is something that disappears when he stands up. Wretch is so primitive he thinks a Broadband is a bunch of dames playing music! What could he possibly have technology-wise that we would be interested in?”

Crate Clues: “Computers, robotics parts and circuitry abound… at best Wretch would use these as paper weights. Not that he uses paper; except for drawing on with crayons.”

Debriefing:
“Wretch no like video games. It much more fun pound on real man than pound on TV man. Yellow whup-whup men not steal from Wretch. Wretch in real big trouble!”

Briefing:
“Wretch don’t know what to do… Wretch have no choice… Wretch have to tell Widow Wretch lose it… No! WRETCH no tell Widow… Wretch have Happy Smiley Face Strike Force tell Widow! No… Wretch have Naked Teddy Bear Strike Force tell… no… Oh! Why Wretch give you pretty name in first place? Wretch should give you ugly name… easier to remember!”

Mission Acceptance:
“Go tell Widow Wretch lose thingy… Oh… Wretch hope Widow not to mad at Wretch… Widow make Wretch do that twirly thing again… Wretch always toss cookies when he does twirly thing.”

Unnecessary Solicitation:
“Wretch think of ugly name… This name easy for Wretch to remember… Wretch call you Strike Force Mud.”

Mission Objective:
“Your sources have verified what Wretch said to be true; Ghost Widow is inside this Arachnos Base. Unfortunately, she’s not accepting visitors at the moment. Looks like it’s time to wear out your welcome again.”

Enemy Type: Arachnos
Objective: Defeat Ghost Guardian (Elite Boss Level guard outside Widow’s chamber); speak with Ghost Widow

Ghost Widow: “How dare you enter my private sanctum and destroy my minions! Prepare to be utterly…. What? Wretch sent you? He lost it AGAIN? Oh, dear. Very well, I’ll simply chalk up the loss of my soldiers to Lord Recluse’s ‘survival of the fittest’ campaign. Please return and tell Wretch that the key to Widow’s Tower is under the welcome mat… right where it’s ALWAYS been. >sighs< I really need to think of a better way to do this. Perhaps on a chain around his neck?”

Debriefing:
“Wretch thank you for finding key-thingy for Wretch! Wretch only wish that Mud Strike Force had found it sooner. Wretch really had to go wee-wee but Wretch could not wait no more. Wretch go on floaty security drone thing… Wretch think drone thingy not like Wretch very much no more… It been spitting sparks at Wretch and making smoke that smell really bad… Oh well… Wretch thank you so much! Wretch NEVER think of finding key thingy under welcome mat!”

Temporary Power:
Upon successful completion of the strike force, a villain will receive the “Wretched Aid” temporary power. This power is useable 10 times before it runs out. Of these ten uses two will summon Wretch at Arch-Villain level to come help you for a limited time. Eight of the charges, however, will summon a smoking, sparking Arachnos Security Drone. The Drone will do disintegration attacks against any enemy in the area however its targeting system has been… ewwww… shorted out and it has only a 1% chance of hitting, non-buffable. Any enemy OR ally who wanders within range of its smoke may gag and choke for a short time.

I'd play that.

This should have been the I15 SF.

I'm tempted to make an AE story arc out of Steelclaw's script. However, since I'm still working an arc for one of my SGs, I should probably finish that first.

Well, at least once we finish we'll know how to get into Widow's Tower...

LOL Steelclaw, that was great!

After reading that I can't help but hear Wretch speak like Trekkie Monster from Avenue Q


I like

Not sure, but I'm fairly certain i played an MA arc where he's the contact....Can't remember any details though.

It wouldn't surprise me if they eventually added one.

As for the Black Scorpion SF, when CoV was in its early days, the Silver Mantis SF erroneously awarded the "Member of the Scorpion Clan" badge. This badge has a similar icon to the RSF badge, with a different number....could it be that there were plans for Strike Forces for all the patrons at one point? Which were scrapped because "Devs hate villains?"

This needs to made into an MA arc.

Steelclaw, you, my good sir, are a comedic genius!

I feel you made Wretch a little more childish than he is. Plus you cannot give a target less than a 5% chance to hit, but you already knew that.

Other than those things it was slightly humourous.

Wretch hungry. You get Wretch dinner?

MISSION OBJECTIVE: Retrieve Wretch's special lunchbox from an Arachnos base.
Arachnos Base commander says, "...I guess...Lord Recluse sending him to bed without dinner for wrecking a lab backfired on him..."

"YAY Wretch have supper now! Wait..there not...SNACK PACK MISSING!
WRETCH WANT SNAAAAAAACK PAAAAAAAACK!"

MISSION OBJECTIVE: Retrieve Wretch's pudding from Doctor Aeon.

"Mmmm, pudding."

2 merits received!

Steelclaw, once again you have risen to the task like a champ. /e salute

Steelclaw, you are a god among heroes.

Bah! Was gonna give Steelcaw some more Rep for this one, but I have given out too much. Probably for the best. I am still laughing so hard, I could accidentally hit "Disapprove" and that would be...wrong. Hey, can someone else hit the guy with some rep for me please?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frosty_Femme I said "ur" which is not a word. It's a sound dumb people make when you ask them to spell out "you are".

*laughs*

Thanks