Write a novel in a month! NaNoWriMo 2006 for CoH

"And he said to himself, "That's a fine looking flat and smooth wall. I wonder how on earth it got so flat and smooth. For it is, so very flat. And oh so beautifully smooth. Like a very thin baby's bottom.""

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Alraedy had to tell FG off

[/ QUOTE ]

Correction, sir, you "told me off" when you were under the impression that I listened to Stasis when she told me to put Dark Mirror up, which already HAS about 40,000 words. Since that isn't what I'm doing...nyeeeeer.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oi. Don't drag me into this!

I've wound myself into a bit of a pickle as well as I've three possible main characters; but who suits the story more...Hmmm.

BTW, if the plan works I'll share it with you for next year

[ QUOTE ]
"And he said to himself, "That's a fine looking flat and smooth wall. I wonder how on earth it got so flat and smooth. For it is, so very flat. And oh so beautifully smooth. Like a very thin baby's bottom.""

[/ QUOTE ]

"Without the lava of digested milk, of course.". Take that, Shaun Hutson.

[ QUOTE ]
"And he said to himself, "That's a fine looking flat and smooth wall. I wonder how on earth it got so flat and smooth. For it is, so very flat. And oh so beautifully smooth. Like a very thin baby's bottom.""

[/ QUOTE ]

I may have to steal that come page 79 or so.

EDIT: I've also remembered I have Roleplaying on Monday and Thursday evenings...I keep having less and less time to write...

[ QUOTE ]
Aha, of course, of course...

...uhm, ahe - yes. That notebook that I'm writing in isn't anything to do with NaNoWriMo. Nonono, I'm most certainly not taking direct quotes from you or even thinking about writing a story about a Hoplite by day, Alice by night...

...look, would you just stop staring?

...honestly, it's nothing to do with my entire plot and the possible mental, emotional and physical problems it could cause you.

Honest.

[/ QUOTE ]

Really my dear, it couldn't possibly be as strange as the truth.

[ QUOTE ]
However, 100 pages of story could spread things a bit thin, to the point of: "He looked at the wall. It was very flat, the wall. Flat and smooth. Flat and smooth like all walls should be."

[/ QUOTE ]

Do what the American novelists do, and pad. Pad like your life depended on it!

I've said it before, and I'll re-iterate it here.

American:[ QUOTE ]
John decided to have an early night. He got up from his chair, walked to the TV and turned it off. Then he went to the wall fixture and flicked the lights off. Walking to his stairwell, he ascended the steps, all eighteen of them, and turned left to his bedroom. Opening the door, he went to his en suite bathroom, and, after turning on the light, grabbed his toothbrush. He put the toothpaste on the brush (it wasn't his favourite brand, but the store was out of that) and brushed first up and down, and then side to side, making sure he covered every square millimetre. After spitting out the toothpaste, he rinsed his mouth with mouthwash (again, not his favourite, but what can you do?) and shuffled back to his bedroom. Stripping down to his boxers - the grey silk ones an old girlfriend had bought him, he nestled himself under the covers, turned off the light, and tried to sleep. However, sleep did not come easily to him, and after an hour of staring up at his white ceiling fixtures, illuminated by the security lights of the house across the way, and his own thin curtains, decided to get a drink. He got out of bed, and made his way out of his bedroom, turning right. After going down all of the eighteen steps, walked to his kitchen...

[/ QUOTE ]

British:[ QUOTE ]
John decided to have an early night, but sleep did not come easy for him.

[/ QUOTE ]

Quite a difference there. Americans love that stuff, the minutae of the day, as I think it helps them get more sympathetic to the characters. However, it's garbage. Pointless twaddle that does nothing to advance the story.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"And he said to himself, "That's a fine looking flat and smooth wall. I wonder how on earth it got so flat and smooth. For it is, so very flat. And oh so beautifully smooth. Like a very thin baby's bottom.""

[/ QUOTE ]

I may have to steal that come page 79 or so.


[/ QUOTE ]

Plagiarist! I'll sue you for every last penny...

...crud, you're a student. Well, I suppose I can buy myself a blackjack at least.

That's coming out of your pocket, boyo!

I wish everyone here the best of luck. Just... try not to sully yourselves by writing purple prose! You'd have to live with the shame forevermore!!

[ QUOTE ]
I wish everyone here the best of luck. Just... try not to sully yourselves by writing purple prose! You'd have to live with the shame forevermore!!

[/ QUOTE ]

But...

Mine heart! It doth ache like that of a young suitor who has recently lost the love of his beloved to a mighty dragon, whose eyes burn like the fires of hell - and scales gleam and twinkle like luminescent diamonds under the dull and morose night's sky. My lips, red as freshly picked apples, wish - oh how they wish - to speak, sing my love, my adoration, for the wonder that is...

Sodding awful purple prose.

[ QUOTE ]
I wish everyone here the best of luck. Just... try not to sully yourselves by writing purple prose! You'd have to live with the shame forevermore!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Would coagulating observances within a mauve prosaic lexicographical interface be unobjectionable?

Verily, it would

The forums on NaNoWriMo seem jolly friendly. I'm impressed that they've divided up the regions into places outside of the US too. I was able to select Brighton, even!

Well, care not what your novel turns out like - remember this: Jilly Cooper still manages to get published - and this is the very same woman who, in her book Apassionata, managed to use something like twelve pages for the 'cast list'. And that was in the hardback edition.

Oh, and a 'friend' read it.... *coughs*

I am going to curse myself evermore for doing this: I'm signing up. I only have 20 free days in November, but I'm still going to try, and the results will be divided up (and cleaned up) as posts for the Creative forum, seeing as it'll be CoH/V related.

[ QUOTE ]
Well, care not what your novel turns out like - remember this: Jilly Cooper still manages to get published - and this is the very same woman who, in her book Apassionata, managed to use something like twelve pages for the 'cast list'. And that was in the hardback edition.

[/ QUOTE ]

And Tolkein had fourty-eight pages worth of background information.
Richard Adams included thirteen pages of maps.
...even Terry Pratchett could fill up a whole novel with his various footnotes.

But they're not parts of the story .

And Barbara Cartland wrote the same novel 80 odd times.

Hold on...

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I wish everyone here the best of luck. Just... try not to sully yourselves by writing purple prose! You'd have to live with the shame forevermore!!

[/ QUOTE ]

But...

Mine heart! It doth ache like that of a young suitor who has recently lost the love of his beloved to a mighty dragon, whose eyes burn like the fires of hell - and scales gleam and twinkle like luminescent diamonds under the dull and morose night's sky. My lips, red as freshly picked apples, wish - oh how they wish - to speak, sing my love, my adoration, for the wonder that is...

Sodding awful purple prose.

[/ QUOTE ]

The ghosts of every decent writer that has ever lived are going to haunt you for that... You DO know that, right?

Awesome! I can ask them for tips!

*fingers crossed for Oscar Wilde, HG Wells and Jules Verne*

[ QUOTE ]

Oh and DW, not a word before November the 1st or the guilt monkeys will get you. Alraedy had to tell FG off

[/ QUOTE ]

The guilt monkeys practically live here anyway. I just had the seed of an idea and had to put it down there and then. Got a couple of other bits kicking in notebooks...

Just a little tool for all you writers, I use it for novels and even for scripting comics!

yWriter

Works fine for me and might be a help for others, just have fun!

And good luck for all November Writers!

The intro text got me interested enough so downloading it as I type.

Also, welcome aboard all who have! The last weekend is rushing past us and the final stump of a week of frantic preparations starts. Are your chocolate hoards well stocked? Do you have enough coffee or other highly caffeinated beverages at hand? Do all those wonderful people who'll be supporting you for the next month (known as friends) know not to bug you with party invites or that thing called 'social life'?

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Get your affairs in order. Then it's time to do some gravity well diving.

[ QUOTE ]
Are your chocolate hoards well stocked?

[/ QUOTE ]

Always.

[ QUOTE ]
Do you have enough coffee or other highly caffeinated beverages at hand?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, but I'll die if I drink them - so I'll just stick with water .

[ QUOTE ]
Do all those wonderful people who'll be supporting you for the next month (known as friends) know not to bug you with party invites or that thing called 'social life'?

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know.

Guys - you know I'm gonna be around the computer a lot more next month yeah? Awesome!

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do you have enough coffee or other highly caffeinated beverages at hand?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, but I'll die if I drink them - so I'll just stick with water .

[/ QUOTE ]

Dying is no good, unless it's a marketing ploy and even so it works only if your work is ready to be published posthumously.

So, 'enough' in this case needs to be defined to be 'zero'.

Risking bad timing I am now compelled to mention something people can prepare in their homes for this - death by caffeine. What is needed is dark chocolate and coffee beans. Grind the beans and melt the cocolate. Put the coffee bean bits on a plate and douse with chocolate. Wait until ready. I expect this same principle to work if coffee beans are substituted by bits of white chocolate. Haven't ever tried but now that I think of it... Holy sugar overload, Batman! To the stores!

A waste of perfectly good chocolate, and effort!

Really, people - if a foodstuff is described as being "ready to eat", why on earth do you insist on cooking it? Unless you're buying cocoa beans and milk, and having to make the chocolate from scratch, why bother putting it anywhere near a heated flame? On second thoughts, why bother making chocolate out of the raw ingredients? Just eat them - it's all the same in the end.

And cooking sherry! It's not an order, it's a suggestion.

There are only three things you need to bear in mind where the ingestion of chocolate is concerned:

1). Buy the chocolate.
2). Open the chocolate.
3). Eat the chocolate. Attempt to savour it during this step, but don't worry if you can't manage it. If you find yourself devoid of chocolate, return to step one and repeat until sated.

A cooker, a saucepan, a heat source, any type of flavouring, a plate, a knife, a fork, a spoon or even a napkin shouldn't be considered. Leave them in their rightful places.

This public service announcement was brought to you by a woman...surprising, isn't it?

While I agree with the principle there was still some added satisfaction when a friend who's a professional with this stuff created a chocolate R2-D2 weighting about a kilo for decorating purposes and I got it after it had been on display. Good ghu I was stuffed!

For the life of me I can't recall what happened to the Naboo starfighter chocolate replica, tho.

[ QUOTE ]
Are your chocolate hoards well stocked?

[/ QUOTE ]

No. However, dieting does give me enough focus and inner turmoil to write something truly dark and gothic. Plus enough spare for a new Cure album.

[ QUOTE ]
Do you have enough coffee or other highly caffeinated beverages at hand?

[/ QUOTE ]

*strokes blessed brushed chrome steel of the sacred cappucino maker*

That's a yes.

[ QUOTE ]
Do all those wonderful people who'll be supporting you for the next month (known as friends) know not to bug you with party invites or that thing called 'social life'?

[/ QUOTE ]

No. They will, however, be providing me with inspiration and feedback, and I'll be spending enough time on trains and in expensively grim Travel Taverns away from them (and Paragon) where I can catch up.

[ QUOTE ]
For the life of me I can't recall what happened to the Naboo starfighter chocolate replica, tho.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's a double abuse of chocolate - it shalt not be shaped into any form but the sacred black monolith, and certainly not into vestiges of rubbish movies.

Mind you, if it came with a miniature Jake Lloyd I'd have happily bitten his head off.