Signs You're Getting Too Old to Play CoH


Akhenahten

 

Posted

- For some reason your Windows 3.1 won't recognize it.

- Travel Powers? No way! Even sprint makes things go by fast enough to make you dizzy.

- You hear people complaining about Winter Event slalom racing being twitch dependent. You always thought the combat system was the same way.

- Danged poor eyesight. This was never a problem with 8-bit graphics.

- You think the new sound effects overhaul has provided much sharper and clearer game sounds; then you remember you trimmed your ear hair the night before.

- You go through the tutorial every night; not for the free large inspirations or the badge... but because you've forgotten how to play the game..

- You don't set a bind when you play the game; but you do everytime you eat cheese.

- You can't get the game to load onto your Commodore-64.

- You mutter "get a job hippy" every time you speak to your contact.

- Miss Liberty needs to lengthen her skirt, Swan needs to put on some respectable clothes and Manticore needs to get a g*****ned hair cut.

- You create a Superman clone who has Super Jump rather than Fly. (+2 Geek Cred for getting this joke)

- The chat window takes up half your screen because of the size the font has to be for you to be able to read it.

- Your most common reason for getting kicked from a team? AFKACFYWPAGITFP. (Away From Keyboard And Completely Forgot You Were Playing A Game In The First Place)

- You can't play a stalker any more because when you go into Hide you forget they're there.

- You don't understand why Brute's need to fight to build their Fury; all you have to do is watch the news.

- You get lost somewhere between the tutorial drop off point and the trainer.

- Every hero you create is always in black and white.

- The Level-Up ding always takes you by surprise and triggers your medic-alert alarm for your heart condition.

- You think that the in-game hospitals are unrealistic because the doctors aren't telling you that your face plant was all in your head.


My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

 

Posted

- Everyone asks everyone else for their age and you realize you're 20 years older than everyone around you.


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Posted

You realize you're twenty years older than everyone else on your team and you're darn proud of it! Whippersnappers! Get off my lawn!


"Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking of them."

 

Posted

- Your age is higher than the total number of Steelclaw lists.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
- For some reason your Windows 3.1 won't recognize it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, that should read:

"To your surprise, it won't install on DOS 2.0"

(And BTW - when I was 12, the ONLY computer I had access to ran on an HP 2000 mainframe via a teletype terminal aat 100 baud (no K ), and was called 'STT1' (It was a Star Trek simulator written circa 1973); and I STILL don't consider myself 'too old' for CoX).


 

Posted

You dislike this new-fangled Sonic Blast--we used to play REAL Sonic Blast back in the day!


Doom.

Yep.

This is really doom.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
You dislike this new-fangled Sonic Blast--we used to play REAL Sonic Blast back in the day!

[/ QUOTE ]
OR...

You don't know what they're talking about with this Sonic Blast thing.. YOU can't hear a da**ed thing!


My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]

- You create a Superman clone who has Super Jump rather than Fly. (+2 Geek Cred for getting this joke)

[/ QUOTE ]
I got it! Yay! (For those that don't, where do you think "Able to leap tall buildings with a single bound!" came from?).


@Morac | Twitter
Trust the computer. The computer knows all.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
You realize you're twenty years older than everyone else on your team and you're darn proud of it! Whippersnappers! Get off my lawn!

[/ QUOTE ]

hey you blasters get off my spawn!

(couldnt help it)

*ducks*


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Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

- You create a Superman clone who has Super Jump rather than Fly. (+2 Geek Cred for getting this joke)

[/ QUOTE ]
I got it! Yay! (For those that don't, where do you think "Able to leap tall buildings with a single bound!" came from?).

[/ QUOTE ]

I assumed thats what it was referencing but how is that a geek point when the theme says so.


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Posted

You land a Super Jump and break a hip.


 

Posted

When you think Vernon Von Grun needs to have a talk with Vincent Price about cliche evil...


Doom.

Yep.

This is really doom.

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
- You create a Superman clone who has Super Jump rather than Fly. (+2 Geek Cred for getting this joke)

[/ QUOTE ]

- You make a Batman clone and immediately put in a bid for the Revolver recipe.


 

Posted

I dunno if this happens to anyone else, i doubt its age because even as a child movement would put me to sleep or have other affects. To this day if I'm overly tired in a car, I'll fall asleep. However, I digress, on to the real comment:

Anytime in games I fall or descend from a high point and can see the ground or anything below me looming closer and closer anticipating an impact, I get the roller coaster stomach pit feeling.


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Posted

Threadjack ahoy!

Motion has differing effects for different people. Age might or might not make things worse (or better), it's all about the ear and/or eyes. (There are various theories for both.)

I can't play an FPS longer than a couple of hours. I try, I get nauseous and start to feel unreal, like I'm floating. I'm just fine 'til then. It's not age though, I've been like that since at least Wolfenstein (i.e. 17 or so).


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
- For some reason your Windows 3.1 won't recognize it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, that should read:

"To your surprise, it won't install on DOS 2.0"

(And BTW - when I was 12, the ONLY computer I had access to ran on an HP 2000 mainframe via a teletype terminal aat 100 baud (no K ), and was called 'STT1' (It was a Star Trek simulator written circa 1973); and I STILL don't consider myself 'too old' for CoX).

[/ QUOTE ]Similar here. But I was 17.

Congratulations, Steelclaw. You made me feel old AND young at the same time.


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
- For some reason your Windows 3.1 won't recognize it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, that should read:

"To your surprise, it won't install on DOS 2.0"

(And BTW - when I was 12, the ONLY computer I had access to ran on an HP 2000 mainframe via a teletype terminal aat 100 baud (no K ), and was called 'STT1' (It was a Star Trek simulator written circa 1973); and I STILL don't consider myself 'too old' for CoX).

[/ QUOTE ]Similar here. But I was 17.

Congratulations, Steelclaw. You made me feel old AND young at the same time.

[/ QUOTE ]
The first computer I had access to was a Vic-20 which you connected directly to your television set. I was around 10 at the time.

Each key had a sub-set of "graphics" on it so you could literally make graphic programs using only Print or Printtab() commands.

I created a boxing program using stick figures in this manner.

The memory on it was so small that anything more ambitious than an Adventure style text game would deplete it.

It didn't even come with a disk drive... you had to use a tape recorder to save your programs... and lord forbid you forget which digit counter your saved file began at.

And yet.. here I am... still kickin'... wheezin'.. but still kickin'..

There's a Country Western song that sums up how I feel about my age. It goes like this:

"I ain't as good as I once was... but I'm as good ONCE as I ever was."


My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw

 

Posted

I remember writing my own version of the arcade game Joust on my TI90, laboriously coding in basic, saving the game to the cassette tape. Nowhere near as ancient as those who played Star Trek on the mainframe terminals, but old enough.


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Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
- For some reason your Windows 3.1 won't recognize it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, that should read:

"To your surprise, it won't install on DOS 2.0"

(And BTW - when I was 12, the ONLY computer I had access to ran on an HP 2000 mainframe via a teletype terminal aat 100 baud (no K ), and was called 'STT1' (It was a Star Trek simulator written circa 1973); and I STILL don't consider myself 'too old' for CoX).

[/ QUOTE ]Similar here. But I was 17.

Congratulations, Steelclaw. You made me feel old AND young at the same time.

[/ QUOTE ]
The first computer I had access to was a Vic-20 which you connected directly to your television set. I was around 10 at the time.

Each key had a sub-set of "graphics" on it so you could literally make graphic programs using only Print or Printtab() commands.

I created a boxing program using stick figures in this manner.

The memory on it was so small that anything more ambitious than an Adventure style text game would deplete it.

It didn't even come with a disk drive... you had to use a tape recorder to save your programs... and lord forbid you forget which digit counter your saved file began at.

And yet.. here I am... still kickin'... wheezin'.. but still kickin'..

There's a Country Western song that sums up how I feel about my age. It goes like this:

"I ain't as good as I once was... but I'm as good ONCE as I ever was."

[/ QUOTE ]

Arrgghh! Now I feel very old if this is old. :-/

//Jack


The Kickers base.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
-Groucho Marx

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

- You create a Superman clone who has Super Jump rather than Fly. (+2 Geek Cred for getting this joke)

[/ QUOTE ]
I got it! Yay! (For those that don't, where do you think "Able to leap tall buildings with a single bound!" came from?).

[/ QUOTE ]

I assumed thats what it was referencing but how is that a geek point when the theme says so.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually he was probably referencing the fact that when Superman debuted in the comics (and for a long time after) flight was not a power of his. Only the ability to "leap tall buildings with a single bound".

Then again, i could be wrong...about the reference, not the ability.


@CrimsonOriole

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
- For some reason your Windows 3.1 won't recognize it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, that should read:

"To your surprise, it won't install on DOS 2.0"

(And BTW - when I was 12, the ONLY computer I had access to ran on an HP 2000 mainframe via a teletype terminal aat 100 baud (no K ), and was called 'STT1' (It was a Star Trek simulator written circa 1973); and I STILL don't consider myself 'too old' for CoX).

[/ QUOTE ]Similar here. But I was 17.

Congratulations, Steelclaw. You made me feel old AND young at the same time.

[/ QUOTE ]
The first computer I had access to was a Vic-20 which you connected directly to your television set. I was around 10 at the time.

Each key had a sub-set of "graphics" on it so you could literally make graphic programs using only Print or Printtab() commands.

I created a boxing program using stick figures in this manner.

The memory on it was so small that anything more ambitious than an Adventure style text game would deplete it.

It didn't even come with a disk drive... you had to use a tape recorder to save your programs... and lord forbid you forget which digit counter your saved file began at.

And yet.. here I am... still kickin'... wheezin'.. but still kickin'..

There's a Country Western song that sums up how I feel about my age. It goes like this:

"I ain't as good as I once was... but I'm as good ONCE as I ever was."

[/ QUOTE ]TS-1000. Membrane keyboard, each key also had a "function" option for a single BASIC command/keyword. The 1000 stood for the 1000 bytes of memory. Yep, it had a whole 1k. Also saved to audio tape.

I still have it. And my Amiga 500. And my 18" slide rule . . . .

Gotta go, nurse says it's my nap time.


 

Posted

Every time people talk about their ages on this forum, I feel like the youngest one here.

Write a list for me, Steelclaw!


 

Posted

Good Heavens...this thread has a lot of me on it...
Never used a bind (but cheese is still all good for me..whew)
Speed boost kills my react time...I hate superspeed for travel.
I could go on but its depressing...no wonder that kid was calling me gramps on that team in the Hollows yesterday

On the bright side I dig the song quote Steelclaw...I am a big fan of both kinds of music...country & western (Fans of the funny Belushi brother will get that one)


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