To anyone who's thinking about following those links to Tvtropes just be warned, TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life. Do what I do and set a timer before entering. Bonus points for getting a friend to knock you unconscious if you don't exit after 2 minutes of the timer going off.
Bah, I love TVTropes ><; then again I'm a writer <,<; it's fun and educational both!
A Warrior's Friend: ID 335212 - Help Infernal save Valkyrie from Battle Maiden.
Above Mars Part 1: The Wellington: ID 159769 - Save Mars by destroying a monstrous battleship from the inside!
>.> My DA page, where I attempt to art.
Hey, Venture!
I just wanted to double check as my arc wasn't listed in your queue ( 1034 ), and I had requested in game and over on page 1 as well (post " #13312668 - 04/10/09 01:20 PM).
Keep up the great reviews!
If you get the chance, please review my first story arc.
Arc Name: The Audacity of Hope: Episode I - Rise of the O
Arc ID: 32865
Faction: Neutral
Creator: Kitty Katttt
Description: The year is 2008. The United States of America has sparked a global recession, engaged in two costly wars, and lost credibility with the world. However, all is not lost. There is still hope. You can help change the world. (Note: Please include NPC Dialog in your chat window.)
Length: Very Long
One note on my arc, #1462
Due to an AI issue with /Devices, the Minions and Lieutenants are tending to spam Web Grenade, due to it being the first power in the Devices set. This is something out of my control.
Ashes to ashes,
Pheonyx
The Cape Radio
"It's good to have friends. Wish I did." - Troy Hickman
1034 is on the list, right after 7780.
Current Blog Post: "Why I am an Atheist..."
"And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained/As we did in the days when Victoria reigned!" -- T. S. Eliot, "Gus, the Theatre Cat"
A small request: In consideration of those of us who ask for a review of our arcs. If you have decided, for whatever reason, NOT to take the time to review them it would be a nice gesture on your part to indicate your decision to do so.
It would help to avoid confusion and the endless repitition of posts saying "Hey, I noticed I wasn't on your posted queue even though I begged you to review it.. yadda yadda yadda, et al"
I don't believe a public explanation of why you have opted to skip them is really necessary. It should be understood by the community at large that not all story lines are going to be equally interesting to everyone. But it would save those of us humbled, rejected few the effort of coming back to the thread over and over again only to see our hopes dashed and save you the wear and tear on your sanity of reading "How come I'm not queued? Let me list my arc ID's for the ninth time!"
Just a thought. Many thanks!
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw
I'd like to take a moment and just congratulate Venture and Talen Lee for taking their time and energy to do this for fellow players.
I hope you don't get swamped under and lose interest. The reviewing you are giving is excellent and I have been seeing the results and watched as good arcs get transformed to very good or great arcs.
My hat off to both of you.
Talen Lee, if possible would you mind reviewing my arc if you get the time and urge. I'd ask Venture but from the looks of it his plate is full and then some.
Last I checked my arc Dark Dreams (which is similiar to Small Fears by Teh_Chameleon) was sitting at 5 plays and 4 stars. I'd like to know if it's the story concept itself that limits it's rating or if it's the execution of the story that needs work.
Idiot Ball syndrome is especially irritating when used on MA missions since they are quite literally linear. It MA had a branching dialog and mission feature, Idiot Ball syndrome could work. You would leave lots of clues and oppurunityes for the players to see what's happening and react to it. But if they get to the end of hte arc and are the patsy, well it's probably greatly desired on the players part.
If I don't reply to a request for a review it means I missed it somehow. If I'm going to reject a request I will say so. I don't do that kind of passive-aggressive crap; I have my parents for that....
So if you asked for one and I didn't add it, remind me in a PM.
Current Blog Post: "Why I am an Atheist..."
"And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained/As we did in the days when Victoria reigned!" -- T. S. Eliot, "Gus, the Theatre Cat"
Well I am going to see how you treat mine, when you get to it.
Future Skulls, ID 4727
4 missions, levels 1-15
Justice Blues, Tech/Tank, Inv/SS
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Fighting The Future Trilogy
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Thanks Talen, I always welcome feedback.
[ QUOTE ]
This arc's biggest vice is that Mako speaks nothing like Mako. He's got some good lines, but they're not Mako's lines. They're the kind of line you get from someone writing almost a generic badass. These lines could come well from someone - but not from Mako.
[/ QUOTE ]
You got me on this one. I always sort of got the impression that Mako was sort of a macho idiot, but...yeah, his writing could use some tightening up. I like the idea of using Barracuda as the story contact though. Having the missions come via Mako through her would work well. (plus she seems to be an easier character to write for 
).
As for grammar and spelling, well that was just me being impatient. It was 9AM and I had been working on this thing since 3AM so I think I was kind of tired of it by that point.
[ QUOTE ]
make the whole arc for a corolax-particular level range
[/ QUOTE ]
I really did not want to use the Coralax as it would mean de-leveling players with no real explanation. Still, they were pretty necessary to the plot. I suppose I could create a custom group of "Coralax Purebloods" or something, but I might not be able to squeeze them in due to filesize limitation.
[ QUOTE ]
and clean up the Virtean designs
[/ QUOTE ]
I'm glad you liked the designs of the bosses especially, seeing as how they are direct copies of my brute . As for the Horns/Wings issue, the only species of Virtea that have wings are the Mantas, and since they are modeled after, well, Manta Rays it seemed appropriate. As for the horns...well they just looked cool... but there quite a few sea creatures that sport horns or spines.
So yes, revisions are due for this arc. Thank you once again for your input.
Would like:
Have a Blap, Blap, Blappy Day Kids! (2019)
Reviewed.
Check out one of my most recent arcs:
457506 - A Very Special Episode - An abandoned TV, a missing kid's TV show host and more
416951 - The Ms. Manners Task Force - More wacky villains, Wannabes. things in poor taste
or one of my other arcs including two 2010 Player's Choice Winners and an2009 Official AE Awards Nominee for Best Original Story
Check out the @Darkmire arc.
I cant recall the number, its pretty high one.
JJ
I delete more 50s, then you'll ever have.
http://www.pandora.com/people/jjdemon
QR
Would love to have someone review my arc #27136 "Hell O Ween's Halloween Nightmare'
Simple 3 mission arc.
Come back with a number, please, I'll never remember to search for it.
Current Blog Post: "Why I am an Atheist..."
"And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained/As we did in the days when Victoria reigned!" -- T. S. Eliot, "Gus, the Theatre Cat"
Ragnarok: Twilight of the Gods (8713)
Based around the norse myth surrounding the end of the world, it doesn't assume you to be either a hero or a villain (though you do wind up saving the world).
A few things I'd like some feedback on / help with.
1. Typos! It's one of my major weaknesses. If you catch one, send me feedback or list it here.
2. Ragnarok myth merged with CoH cannon. Don't want to spoil, but a "big" player in the myth is revealed to be the identity of something you might have faced beneath sharkhead isle. Looking for people knowledgeable in both CoH and Norse lore to weigh in how how well this works.
3. Mission 3. I tried to find a balance between subtlety and exposition... How did you feel about the result? You'll know what I mean.
4. Final Mission. The EBs/AVs here are tough, no question. Looking for specific feedback on each. Keep in mind you have an EB ally and a few bosses somewhere on the map for those of you who like to solo. Surt or Hymir too hard? Suggestions for tonedown?
5. Loki (final mission). Too hard to prevent from escaping? Has he ever managed to confuse your NPC allies, turning them against you? Is the malta ambush too much combined with his escape? Is his stealth capability too strong in light of the fact that he will attempt to escape?
Thanks for your input.
Hi Venture, I'm feeling incredibly brave, so when you have time, I'd appreciate you having a look at 2409 - Mystery of the MAGI vault
#2409 - The Mystery of the MAGI vaults. Azuria has contacted you to help her stop the thefts from the MAGI vaults.
#68054 - Out of the gutters. Left for dead, you swore that you were through with being a victim (alt villain beginning story)
Hey Venture, you seem to be the exact kind of reviewer that I am, just with far more time (if I had the time, I'd love to review arcs like you do).
If you'd be so kind, then my arcs would love to be reviewed. #1579 is the one that seems to be the most popular, so it'd be cool to get that one done by you. It's titled the Council's Long Con.
If you think you're not too busy to run the other two I've got sitting out there, I have #1571 (The Council's Good Graces) and #1831 (the Sad Story of Silas Gritch), though I'm not as concerned about those two getting reviews.
Thanks in advance.
[ QUOTE ]
1034 is on the list, right after 7780.
[/ QUOTE ]
Ah, it says 1074 in your post. Thanks for clearing that up!
This should be stickied
By the way, what do you think of my idea?
Name: A Jar of Moosebutter
ID: None yet
Alignment: Heroic
Factions: Shadow Prince of Music, Void Beast
Description: Save the acapella group, Moosebutter from the Shadow Prince of Music! Then, find out who the Shadow Prince of Music really is and stop him from summoning the dark monsters known as Void Beasts into our world!
Arc #2085, In Her Own Image
tl;dr: 2 stars. Offenses: Mary Sue, plot holes, annoying EB, just a bunch of stuff that happened
Commander Amazing asks you to investigate a break-in at Servanta Technologies, one of his patrons (I.e. its his company). The break-in is the work of the Knives of Artemis. While Im not going to mark down for it, this is a faction that should not be used, or used sparingly at best, until the devs get around to doing something about it. The Caltrops are just absurd, and theyre even worse now that you cant fly high enough to avoid the damage on a lot of maps. Plus, and a lot of people dont seem to know this, all Knives have boosted perception, making them trouble for characters that use stealth.
The first thing I ran into was the ally Amazing tells you about in the briefing, who is one of the authors characters. Dead-Eye Eagle is a TA/A, and according to his captors, a D-card member of the Justice Guard. You eventually find that the Knives were after the plans for C.A.T.A.L.I.N.A., an android. Youre told afterwards that the androids creator was fired ages ago and theres no clear reason for the Knives to be interested in it.
The briefing for the next mission tells you that the only villain known to have interest in the Catalina project is her creator, who is now known as Dreadnot and holed up in Grandville. Amazing wants you to investigate a Malta base theyve very coincidentally gotten data on. Youre to find their client database and optionally deal with an unknown super whos been spotted on the scene. That super would be Charles Psion, another one of the authors characters, whom you may remember from his earlier arc. Hes a DB/WP EB, spawned at +2, meaning it took a year and a day to cut him down. His defeat Clue implies that he doesnt really have anything to do with this and was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Um, yeah. The Clue you were sent to find says Maltas client is one Cathy Lena. At least the Contact points out thats the worst false name Ive ever heard in the debriefing. You also have to snuff the Boss, a standard Master Gunslinger.
[NPC] Agent Gator: You may still surrender now and I will spare you!
Said during the fight, while he was flat on his back with ¼ health. Obviously just a flesh wound.
The briefing for the next mission tells you that Cathy has only been traced to an online spam war on the forums for World of Freedom Phalanx, that game everyones been talking about. Um, yeah. Youre also told that the Malta contract has been traced to an Arachnos base in Boomtown. Amazing complains that no one ever patrols there, though Statesman did want to put me as a training contact there. Um, yeah. You get a warning that you may need help and that there will be an ally available. Youre also told that Arachnos has formed a special special unit to take down Commander Amazing and his group at all costs called the Society of Evil. Um, yeah. Amazing cant go himself because hes needed in the RWZ for a mothership raid. The ally is Sixty Second Man, an Electric Blast/Electric Manipulation Boss with no description. The maps EB is Doomspot, which looks to be a character belonging to one of the authors friends, a Bots/DiedTooFast. He did say I have not yet begun to fight! at about 1/8th health. Id have replied Maybe you should think about starting? if I wasnt solo. (Or, Well, dont bother now....) The Clues say that the orders for whatevers going on are coming from Catalina 6.7 herself, which you are told in the debriefing is Dreadnots AI. It goes on (in a near wall of text) to tell you that the base you just splashed has been bringing cargo in through Independence Port thanks to some bribes to the Port Authority. Amazing assures you hes got the PPD on that and whoever is responsible is going to jail...um, yeah.
The next mission sends you to the warehouse Arachnos has been using in IP, after one of Amazings friends has beaten the information out of the bribed official. Youre warned that if Catalina herself is present youre in for a major fight, as she adapts to your attacks, which of course she doesnt because the game cant do that. (Typo: the ability our military could with this was limitless.) Entering the warehouse I was almost immediately attacked by Catalina 5.7, which looks like another one of the authors friends characters. She was a MA/Regen EB, meaning once again it took forever to wear her down. More Catalina models filled out the place, incling a 1.1 Claws/SR (I think) and 2.4 Sonic/Sonic. Later on you run into Catalina 5.9, one of the authors characters. This one is a Claws/SR, on Extreme I believe. I didnt need Elude but this is starting to convince me the new form of Focused Accuracy isnt worth having. The Clues tell you that the purpose of the warehouse was to amass an army to infiltrate the city in some manner that isnt clear. So why are the supplies being delivered to the warehouse and then moved someplace where the army isnt? Oh, whatever.
For the next and final mission you are sent to deal with Catalina 6.7, the most advanced model that even Commander Amazing cant deal with due its krypt^H^H^H^H^Hmagic components. She turned out to be a Super Strength/Electric Armor AV/EB and another one of the authors characters. She did get in a few lucky shots but went down in the first match (no Elude), ending the mission. Of course, she uploads her self out before you beat her. The debriefing makes some guesses as to what was going on (probably relating to the author/SGs RP), tells you Catalina fried the body before transferring out and thanks you.
While not one of the more egregious cases, the arc is essentially a Mary Sue. You are constantly being told how special and important the author and friends characters are, and how theyd deal with this themselves if they didnt have more important things to do. Psion's appearance is doubly gratuitous, since not only is he an Somewhere underneath it all is an OK story trying to get out but right now it looks like a "Justice Guard" story guest-starring the player. Catalina 6.7's power combo is likely to be annoying for a lot of builds, particularly due to the autohit END drain backed up by Lightning Field.
Current Blog Post: "Why I am an Atheist..."
"And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained/As we did in the days when Victoria reigned!" -- T. S. Eliot, "Gus, the Theatre Cat"
Venture, your reviews are very thorough. I'd love for you to review my arc (in my signature) whenever you have the time.
I would love for anyone to play review my arcs
9028 and 9036 The Rise of Evil parts I and II respectively