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Arc #92630: I Will Dance On Your Grave
Rating: 3 stars
The short of it: Some of the custom enemies are well balanced, others are annoying, NPC text seems lackluster, a lot of outdoor maps
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I played a slightly earlier version of this arc. Here's a few observations for the arc writer:
1) In this case, I would prefer to see original contact art. While Hequat looks voodoo-y, I kept looking at the contact and saying "That's Hequat." I would rather have seen a contact with an original look that is consistent with the NPCs in the arc.
2) While I liked the contact's accent, using accented dialog is tricky. Some readers might struggle to figure out what is being said and others (like myself) will find inconsistencies in the accent to be grating. (And there were inconsistencies.) If you keep the accented dialog pay close attention to it, and if you say "heem" in one place, don't say "him" in another. If you render "them" as "dem," then be sure to change "think" to "tink," and so on.
3) I think the story could be told better. The title is outstanding, and the premise of voodoo + Skulls is great. But when I was playing I felt like I was slogging through battles instead of revealing more story. I found myself floundering with a lack of suspense, and I admit that when I couldn't easily resolve mission 3 (I couldn't find Grave Dancer on the burning forest map) I quit the arc.
4) I really liked the NPC helper toon in mission 3: Sun Dancer, a Native American themed hero with what appeared to be fire manipulation / thermal powers. I would have liked to have seen a story that involved more of the Native American and Voodoun mythos, and more of Sun Dancer's story in relation to the arc.
5) I think it might have helped if I'd had a greater sense of the passion in the story. What are the emotions that are motivating the various characters? Is there any love, hate, fear, doubt, pride, jealousy, disgust, or sense of wonder? If these motives were in the story, I didn't find them. Maybe this isn't required for every arc, but it occurred to me it might help if such motives were more explicit here.
Arc# 1288, Celebrity Kidnapping
tl;dr: 4 stars. Offenses: aggravating mobs
Reviewed on: 5/9/2009
Level Range: varies 5-40, non-monotonic
Character used: Mother Night/Virtue
This one starts off with an offer from Willy Wheeler. Willy is an unusual choice of Contact as his canon arc is one of the most spectacular Idiot Ball free-throws in the game.... This time, he wants you to kidnap famous hotel heiress Paris Hil^H^H^HHoliday, a fire-using super recently incarcerated for drunk driving. Willy thinks she'll be worth millions in ransom, and as he says What Could Possibly Go Wrong? You head to the Zig map for a breakout. While I stopped to type this paragraph, it seems a wandering patrol of Convicts ran into Ms. Holiday and set off her ambush of Cameramen, which wandered inside my stealth radius and killed me.... While the idea of being attacked by the paparazzi is cute, these guys were all Illusion Controllers, meaning mass Holds. Paris is a Fire Blast/Thermal Radiation Boss ally escort. (She doesn't appear to have Thaw, alas.)
Once you're out, Willy contacts the producers of Paris' reality TV show and arranges payment of the ransom. You're sent to pick up half at a dead drop, the other half to be paid at the exchange. Unfortunately the dead drop is occupied by squatters, a mix of custom mobs and Scrapyarders. Near the drop is Terry Mal^H^H^HWheeler, an Super Strength/Willpower Boss ex-boxer who could have been a contender but took a dive at his brother's urging to...you get the picture. There's no mention of this in the debriefing, which is a bit odd unless the names are just a coincidence.
Finally, you're sent to the safehouse where Willy's Family allies are keeping Paris. Willy hints that if the Family players were out of the picture there'd be more money to go around.... Unfortunately, a) the Family has come to a similar conclusion, and b) the map boss is a Consigliere type, and thanks to the level cap one of the ones with a Singularity. I ran out of Break Frees, got held and killed in short order. On my return, Amanda Vines was spawned near the mission exit with more of the Cameramen types. I'm not sure what triggered her. Fortunately I didn't have to dip into my supply of Break Frees.... Vines is coded as a hostage escort, presumably because of her protected status, and thanks to bugs ended up following me around the map. Taking down the Boss triggered an ambush of more Cameramen, which finished off my Break Frees...again. And I could see a triggered static of spawn of Cameramen in the distance.... Luckily a medium Break Free dropped during the fight to spring Paris. Freeing Paris herself triggered the spawn of several PPD Bosses, one of which would have been a Rocks Fall Everyone Dies deal, having spawned just outside my Shadow Fall, but fortunately facing the other way. That Camerman spawn turned out to be Lois Watson and her photographer Jimmy, who tries to signal Unbelievable Man with his watch.... Watson is a hostage and runs for it, triggering yet another wave of Cameramen...there went the last BF. The last obstacle is Police Woman (author insert), Assault Rifle/Devices Boss, with a large spawn of PPD. The exit pop-up has you wondering who could have tipped the police off, and the debriefing makes it clear that you throw the Idiot Ball back and beat up Willy for setting you up. The souvenir adds a note that you kept all the money for yourself.
It's a cute arc and doesn't overplay its joke, but the rampant use of control powers is likely to frustrate a lot of squishies. Carry lots of Break Frees and/or be able to lock down mass enemy Controllers before they can lock down you.
Current Blog Post: "Why I am an Atheist..."
"And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained/As we did in the days when Victoria reigned!" -- T. S. Eliot, "Gus, the Theatre Cat"
I'm submitting my first arc for review. I'd enjoy reading whatever constructive criticism you have to offer. Of course, if you'd like to offer unbridled praise, that'd be okay too. 
Rage Within The Machine
by @Freedom Force
Arc ID: 137705
Length: Very Long
Morality: Heroic
Enemy Groups: Council, Custom Group
Description: A mystery in five acts. All across Paragon City, robots are rising up and attacking hero and villain alike. But who is responsible for turning the robots into killers? A story oriented arc with no EBs or AVs, no "defeat all", and no critters with Ninjitsu. Recommended for levels 30 and up. [SFMA]
Arc# 137705: Rage Within The Machine. A mystery in five acts. Robots are rising up and attacking hero and villain alike. Who is responsible? Heroic, Very Long, Story arc, no EBs or AVs, no "defeat all", no Ninjitsu. For level 30 and up.
Would love for you all to check out my new AE Creation "Cold Cruel World."
It starts with a book found laying on an occult style desk with a note from a man who went looking for missing children in a warehouse..What he finds is more than he bargained for.
A creature of lore is taking all the children and turning them to his will, can you stop the Wendigo and reclaim the cities children?
Arc Number 163666 Title "Cold Cruel World."
Hope you enjoy, lots of badges to be had in there aswell.
[ QUOTE ]
Arc# 1288, Celebrity Kidnapping
tl;dr: 4 stars. Offenses: aggravating mobs
...
It's a cute arc and doesn't overplay its joke, but the rampant use of control powers is likely to frustrate a lot of squishies.
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Thanks for the review! I'll definitely take steps to mitigate the enemy holds. I don't think I can change the Paparazzi's illusion powers without losing their cool flash effect, but I can make the final Family boss a non-controller and give Thaw to Paris as you suggested. 
@PW - Police Woman (50 AR/dev blaster on Liberty)
TALOS - PW war journal - alternate contact tree using MA story arcs
=VICE= "Give me Liberty, or give me debt!"
I've finally finished my first arc, and I couyld really use some feedback on just how well it works. If any kind reviewer has an opening in their schedule, here it is:
Name: Aeon's Nemesis
Arc ID: 161865
Length: Very Long
Morality: Villainous
Description: "You've heard a rumor that Marshal Brass is looking for someone to test a secret feature of the Architect system."
Suggested Level Range: 35+
Estimated Running Time: 1.5-2 hours
Estimated Difficulty: Moderate (similar to a standard villain Story Arc)
The arc has 5 missions, though the early ones are fairly quick. It mostly uses existing enemies, but there are several costum mobs. Hopefully they will be interesting and not infuriating/boring.
Since I have no high level Controllers or Dominators, bonus points if anyone can review it with one of those. Hope you all enjoy it!
-D
Darkonne: Pinnacle's (unofficially) mighty Dark Miasma/Radiation Blast enthusiast!
Be sure to check out this mighty Arc:
#161865 - Aeon's Nemesis
Well, I asked on a popular global channel for my home server what people would like in an arc. The general response was something villainous and a well-written story. The first part of their requests was easy; just select villainous for the morality. The other part...well, that's where it all falls into the hands of others. I dared to play with CoX canon, and one might say the "idiot ball" is tossed from the get-go. The ultimate goal can't be accomplished...EVER! But this is about story-telling, and I'm hoping folks will have fun with the idea.
Name: To Be Incarnate
Arc ID: 162898
Length: Long
Morality: Villainous
Description: There's an old VEAT in town, and it's your chance to become one! (Note: This arc contains an AV. While it has been "squishy tested," it is not necessarily "solo-squishy approved.") *
Suggested Level Range: 30+
Estimated Difficulty: Moderate
* Please Note: I tested the arc with a level 31 Blaster and a level 31 Mastermind, and both were able to get through the entire arc soloing. The level ranges, however, are 1-54 for three of the missions, and 40-54 for the last - all because of ONE character I added in the finale.
*sigh* Like all computer systems, MA doesn't do what you want it to, just what you tell it to do. 
Anyway, I hope folks are entertained by the tale, and constructive feedback would be appreciated.
+Gamron, (AKA: A-N)
"The acquisition of any knowledge is of use to the intellect, for nothing can be loved or hated until it is first known."
Leonardo da Vinci
Arc #105163: Facing Chaos
Rating: 1 star
The short of it: Incredibly mixed themes, crazy being mistaken for "acting wacky", annoying usage of canon mobs, and overpowered custom mobs
Plot Overview
King Odilian has come from the Realm of Dragons to warn our world of impending danger from a being called Chaos. Chaos destroyed Odilian's home dimension, and he seeks to prevent it from doing the same to ours. He informs you of a Circle of Thorns sect that may be worshipping the Chaos, and sends you there to confirm it. Inside, you discover that not the cult's worshippers are more than just Circle of Thorns members, and they are being led by a man named Riki Tiki Tally, who is a servant of Chaos. With Odilian's fears confirmed, he contacts Longbow with the information, and discovers that some of the Longbow soldiers have wandered off, much like his soldiers did back on his planet. Fearing the worst, he sends you after them. The Longbow have in fact been taken over by Chaos, and one of them has been transformed into a monster, which you subdue.
Next Odilian sends you to stop the Cult of Chaos. Their leader, Arch-Mage Chronas, is protected by shadow copies of himself and more people who have been transformed into monsters by Chaos. After Chronas is defeated by your hand, Chaos takes his soul as punishment. Next you must go and fight Chaos' manifestation in this world. Longbow has them contained, but they won't be able to defeat them. Once inside, you face Rip Van Twinkle, the manifestation of Chaos. After you defeat her, she turns into light and goes deeper into the caves. After battling her two guard beasts, you face another, more powerful version of her. After coming out victorious against her the second time, Chaos leaves this dimension and everything returns to normal. King Odilian presents you with the Phoenix Crest from his dimension as thanks.
Mechanics
The first mission is an Oranbega map, with a single defeat boss as your only objective. I believe he was Dual Blades/Something. He died really quickly to me and spent pretty much the whole fight being thrown around by my Scrapper's knockdown and knockup, so that means that he's more or less a standard boss. The custom group for this mission consisted of humanoid Circle of Thorns members and the Mu enemies from Arachnos, at least at level 50. I didn't test it at any other levels, for reasons I will explain shortly.
The second mission was one of the office/caves maps. There are a few non-essential captives, the only required objective is a custom boss, who is fiery assault, on at least hard, as he had fiery embrace. I'm unsure of the secondary, as again, he died rather quickly. This is one of the reasons why I didn't take anyone of lower level. Double damage is something my level 50 SR scrapper can handle, as he'll more or less dodge all the attacks. Any of my lower level characters, not so much. The arc is billed as a 41+ arc anyhow by the description.
The third mission takes place on another Oranbega map. There are multiple non-essential destroy objects in the mission, and multiple bosses, both of the custom boss that was in the last mission, and a new one. I wish I could remember the powersets of this boss or the elite boss at the end, but I cannot. This mission also has a custom group consisting of some of my least favorite enemies to fight in the game. No, no sappers. No, no carnies. I actually don't mind those. In this custom group, we have warwolves, who are annoyingly fast and hit rather hard, hydra, who have high toxic damage spit with -fly that give out reduced XP, devouring earth rock monsters, including the LT that summons the resistance aura, arachnoids, yet more toxic damage, and elder vipers, who admittedly aren't that bad.
Also, the contact says there is an ally in the mission, but I never saw her. Admittedly, it's an Oranbega map, so she may have been tucked in some corner. In any case, I couldn't tell you what the ally was. According to the contact dialogue, likely either empathy or pain domination.
The fourth and final mission takes place on the custom infernal map. The main enemy is again the custom group from the last one, with patrols that seem to consist of only ghosts from the portal missions and Rularuu wisps. The first boss you run into is an elite boss, who is Claws/Martial Arts. I don't think Martial arts is on hard, as I didn't see a build up, and I'm not sure if the dual blades is on hard. If it was, follow up never hit me. Regardless, be prepared to be hit with shuriken from an EB, the single highest damaging attack you can give a custom enemy at level 50 outside of nova type powers, (I'm not making this up. It outdamages headsplitter and even full auto.) in addition to both eagles claw and eviscerate.
The next two bosses that are triggered by her defeat are both Fire Melee/Ice Melee, both on at least hard, meaning two build ups. Granted I only ever saw them use one, so the system may be smart enough to ignore redundant powers. If that's the case, thank god. However, they still hit like a truck. If you can't keep them off their feet, or don't have knockback protection (they have ice patch) you will be hit hard. Very hard.
After defeating them, it spawns a custom AV in the final room, who is Psychic Blast/Psychic Manipulation. Psychic Manipulation is on extreme, so it really doesn't matter what psychic blast is on. I just know I didn't see a psychic wail. What psychic manipulation on extreme means, is that any character that comes within melee range will be standing in a confusion aura. Thank god SR has confuse resistance. It also means that she has build up, and mind probe, and a really powerful damage scale to go with them. Now, granted, the contact does say to get teammates, but will it really matter? Most tanks and brutes A: Do not have confuse resistance, so will turn on the team and be unable to tank her properly unless there is a teammate who can give them confuse resistance, and B: doesn't have psychic resistance, so will be obliterated very quickly by the insanely high psychic damage, and the rest of the team will follow suit shortly.
Story
The themes are practically bi-polar. King Odilian tells stories about the atrocities that his world has suffered, and is distraught over the family and countrymen who he lost in his losing fight against Chaos. When he finds out that the monsters are actually humans who are transformed, he wonders if his countrymen can ever forgive him for killing them after they had transformed.
On the other hand, the Chaos is Saturday morning cartoon silly. The monsters moo. Constantly. The Cult of Chaos exclaims that they were shocked that making sacrifices to plastic forks worked. In the second mission, there is a random hot dog vendor who breaks the fourth wall just for comedic purposes. The vendor even says that she has nothing to do with the mission.
The two styles clashed very badly for me. It's fine if you want things to be wacky, but don't have it in the same place as serious monologues about loss and suffering. I'm not saying that a serious tale can't have some comic relief, but there's a difference between comic relief and a Bugs Bunny cartoon. The arc tries to be a comedy arc and a serious arc at the same time, and fails at both.
Final Thoughts
Some of the custom enemies are just way too strong, and the plot needs to decide what tone it's going for.
Actualy... if you stay away from her.. her primary in AV form is Assualt Rifile... her secondary is Maniuplation.
The thing with Chaos is you arn't dealing world destroyer type but bat *blip* insain unstable Chaos. There is no logic to how it operates. Only that it's mere existance desablizes everything on the world until it can no londer support itself.
The first guy is Assualt Rifile Sonic Res
Then you have the cult leader which is Fire Control /Fire maniuplation. His shadows which... I honestly forget what one of the sets is but secondary and strongest being dual blades... You are the first person to guess the Fire Melee/Ice Melee correctly to my surprising.
The Dragon is Fireblast invulnerablilty.
I wasn't aiming for 'serious' Chaos but pure unstable chaos.. not exactly an easy thing to do. I actualy resisted the urge to have monsters speak over intelligently then bust into angery growls and roars.
You kind of realized it, Chaos doesn't seem serious even though its a threat.
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Actualy... if you stay away from her.. her primary in AV form is Assualt Rifile... her secondary is Maniuplation.
The thing with Chaos is you arn't dealing world destroyer type but bat *blip* insain unstable Chaos. There is no logic to how it operates. Only that it's mere existance desablizes everything on the world until it can no londer support itself.
The first guy is Assualt Rifile Sonic Res
Then you have the cult leader which is Fire Control /Fire maniuplation. His shadows which... I honestly forget what one of the sets is but secondary and strongest being dual blades... You are the first person to guess the Fire Melee/Ice Melee correctly to my surprising.
The Dragon is Fireblast invulnerablilty.
I wasn't aiming for 'serious' Chaos but pure unstable chaos.. not exactly an easy thing to do. I actualy resisted the urge to have monsters speak over intelligently then bust into angery growls and roars.
You kind of realized it, Chaos doesn't seem serious even though its a threat.
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I must have mistaken subdue for a regular psychic blast. Well, she never pulled out her assault rifle then.
I also must have mistaken the bosses in the third mission for the first guy. Now that you mention it, I do remember him having the sonic bubble, but I think I had him knocked around too long for him to pull out his gun.
My main problem isn't the fact that the Chaos isn't serious, moreso the fact that it's over the top silliness doesn't mesh with the King's dialogue and makes the theme really muddled. My main problem is more with some of the later custom enemies than with the story, really.
well it's been a while sine Hell-o-ween reviewed my first draft so i'd like to resubmit the new and improved Through the Looking Glass
67087
by well....me
AE # 67087: Journey through the Looking Glass - Save the World
LLX VirtueVerse! - Check out my crazy Toons
This is the size of group that we have balanced AVs for, 6.
-Positron 06/07/06 07:27 PM
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I have just gotten word that i need to be re-located at work (nothing bad). As a result I am going to be slow with reviews for at least a week while I move.
My current Queue is:
1589, 71523, 60280, 13579, 68930, 75386
Sorry about this but real life wins over CoH (sometimes).
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All settled in yet Hell-o-ween? No pressure, no pressure...
Here's another one for the "avoid" list: #72114, "Training Day with the Bomb Squad" or somesuch (don't have the title in front of me). The first mission is loaded with mobs with autohit debuffs and/or END drains and a couple of AV/EBs. The second is mostly a straight DE run until the last objective triggers, which is a Quarry. For whatever reason Monsters used in MA arcs don't downgrade to EB status like the ones in regular arcs. You're supposed to use the author's Mary Sues to beat it up, but even with them a Claws/SR and Widow, both tricked out, couldn't even scratch it. The Widow eventually swapped to an equally well-built Corruptor which was able to debuff its regen enough to let us actually hurt it. Needless to say there is no story to speak of.
Current Blog Post: "Why I am an Atheist..."
"And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained/As we did in the days when Victoria reigned!" -- T. S. Eliot, "Gus, the Theatre Cat"
Here is my Arc #31822 called How it all began.
It is a 5 mish set with custom critters.
Let me know what you think about it, what is good, what is bad, what you would like to see ect...
Thanks!
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<QR>
Just wanted to note that one of the reasons why so many missions (Architect and canon) have no "moral or theme" and are "just a bunch of stuff that happened" is that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to write such a story for literally thousands of characters.
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The best thing to do, IMHO, is not to try. Via the description, give the basic premise/setup the player needs to meet you half way on and then just go on from there. By clicking play they are implicitly already on board with the basic premise. From there, build on that premise to present a theme.
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Originally Posted by eltonio
This is over the top mental slavery.
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I recently was informed a fix was needed for my arc due to a patch invalidation. It's been taken care of and I'd like to represent this arc for consideration.
Thanks guys! 
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I hope I'm not intruding in this, but if anyone would like to try their hand at my arc:
Arc Name: Bringing A Lord to Power
Arc ID: 2782
Length: Very Long
Mission Count: 5
Morality: Villainous
Description: Blightlord has a new scheme. Whatever it is, the payoff's sure to be worth your while.
Extreme criticism welcome. ^_^
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Arc ID: 475246, "Bringing a Lord to Power"
"I'm only a simple man trying to cling to my tomorrow. Every day. By any means necessary."
-Caldwell B. Cladwell
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I've finally finished my first arc, and I couyld really use some feedback on just how well it works. If any kind reviewer has an opening in their schedule, here it is:
Name: Aeon's Nemesis
Arc ID: 161865
Length: Very Long
Morality: Villainous
Description: "You've heard a rumor that Marshal Brass is looking for someone to test a secret feature of the Architect system."
Suggested Level Range: 35+
Estimated Running Time: 1.5-2 hours
Estimated Difficulty: Moderate (similar to a standard villain Story Arc)
The arc has 5 missions, though the early ones are fairly quick. It mostly uses existing enemies, but there are several costum mobs. Hopefully they will be interesting and not infuriating/boring.
Since I have no high level Controllers or Dominators, bonus points if anyone can review it with one of those. Hope you all enjoy it!
-D
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I ran it with my wife, me on my level 37 Mind/Ice dom, her on her level 34 Plant/Thorn dom.
Overall, I liked it. Mostly my complaints are nitpicky more than serious, I won't go into them at this time, but I'll just say you may want to revisit some of the dialog here and there.
The only WTF moment we really had was the multiple ambushes on the end boss. They seemed like they came at the exact same time and we were overwhelmed and had to hospital. On the second time back we used those guys to build domination and then fought off the boss... barely. I used almost a whole tray of insps to do it, but we did it. I don't think I could have soloed it. We ran on Challenge Level 3, however. On challenge level 1, I might have been able to solo it, although those ambushes still may have swamped me. If it's possible, space them out a little more is my advice.
Otherwise it seems well balanced for Doms. It was challenging, but not a faceplant marathon. The custom critters seemed about right in balance, especially to the standard mobs.
The story wasn't bad, either. The initial set up was kinda weak and since my char had already worked with Martial Brass, the introduction broke versilimitude, but it picked up from there and I was engaged throughout.
We had some glowies that obviously spawned an ambush (heard the dialog) but they never showed. Also some of the enemy groups chosen for ambushes in mission 3 seemed... odd. I wasn't sure if they were really ambushing (and if so... why?) or if they were escaped holograms or something. It was never very clear.
Again had some nitpicky moments here and there but overall I found it to be a good arc. It just needs a little polish.
I rated 4 stars.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by eltonio
This is over the top mental slavery.
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[ QUOTE ]
The thing with Chaos is you arn't dealing world destroyer type but bat *blip* insain unstable Chaos. There is no logic to how it operates. Only that it's mere existance desablizes everything on the world until it can no londer support itself.
[/ QUOTE ]
There are creepy ways to show that which might be more in line with the rest of the mission's tone. You can have completely random, chaotic, unstable and insane without having Looney Tunes.
[ QUOTE ]
I actualy resisted the urge to have monsters speak over intelligently then bust into angery growls and roars.
[/ QUOTE ]
And that's not really it either.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by eltonio
This is over the top mental slavery.
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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The thing with Chaos is you arn't dealing world destroyer type but bat *blip* insain unstable Chaos. There is no logic to how it operates. Only that it's mere existance desablizes everything on the world until it can no londer support itself.
[/ QUOTE ]
There are creepy ways to show that which might be more in line with the rest of the mission's tone. You can have completely random, chaotic, unstable and insane without having Looney Tunes.
[ QUOTE ]
I actualy resisted the urge to have monsters speak over intelligently then bust into angery growls and roars.
[/ QUOTE ]
And that's not really it either.
[/ QUOTE ]
By all rights, to get it right I would need looney tunes as well as serious. It's not exactly an easy thing to mix at all. Of course the old man will be completely serious about this because he lost his realm to this absolute randomness.
I'm getting the idea one thinks Chaos would of simular lines of The Joker but it's not quite like that. Some stuff that's coming from this thing could be harmless. It is completely disorray, un orginized. Something effected might turn out like the joker, or you could end up with some form of super hero out of it.
Plan A was actualy more then just the monster NPC's as I would have thrown in Arachnos, Council and just about every enemy group I could in there but I figured there would be complaints as to why they are there. The truth of the matter they would have no reason to be there much less working together.. they just would be. No logic to their existance at all.
I stuck with monsters because people need a reason for things and I don't know how to write out the fact that stuff is happening without reason or logic at all.
If people just started to act crazy, everone else would ask why and look for a reason. Are they trying to be funny? Do they want to be destructive? Are they trying to be heroes. You tell them that they just are, it ends up being a hard thing to swallow. Anyone harmed by such an event from that point forward would take it serious should something simlar happen again.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
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The thing with Chaos is you arn't dealing world destroyer type but bat *blip* insain unstable Chaos. There is no logic to how it operates. Only that it's mere existance desablizes everything on the world until it can no londer support itself.
[/ QUOTE ]
There are creepy ways to show that which might be more in line with the rest of the mission's tone. You can have completely random, chaotic, unstable and insane without having Looney Tunes.
[ QUOTE ]
I actualy resisted the urge to have monsters speak over intelligently then bust into angery growls and roars.
[/ QUOTE ]
And that's not really it either.
[/ QUOTE ]
By all rights, to get it right I would need looney tunes as well as serious. It's not exactly an easy thing to mix at all. Of course the old man will be completely serious about this because he lost his realm to this absolute randomness.
I'm getting the idea one thinks Chaos would of simular lines of The Joker but it's not quite like that. Some stuff that's coming from this thing could be harmless. It is completely disorray, un orginized. Something effected might turn out like the joker, or you could end up with some form of super hero out of it.
Plan A was actualy more then just the monster NPC's as I would have thrown in Arachnos, Council and just about every enemy group I could in there but I figured there would be complaints as to why they are there. The truth of the matter they would have no reason to be there much less working together.. they just would be. No logic to their existance at all.
I stuck with monsters because people need a reason for things and I don't know how to write out the fact that stuff is happening without reason or logic at all.
If people just started to act crazy, everone else would ask why and look for a reason. Are they trying to be funny? Do they want to be destructive? Are they trying to be heroes. You tell them that they just are, it ends up being a hard thing to swallow. Anyone harmed by such an event from that point forward would take it serious should something simlar happen again.
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Logical beings represent an undeniable urge to create order where there is none, and illogical beings one could surmise should be poised to create discord wherever reason and logic can be found. Perhaps you're over thinking the chaos thing? Chaos, and discord, do not necessarily imply randomness all the time anymore than order implies reason and forethought in every instance (if it did there would be no religious/anti-religious debates raging for the past, oh, majority of recorded history).
Perhaps choosing those enemies who would be inclined to seek discord, Feakshow for instance, and choose their actions to reflect an irresistible pull toward discord, so that they are acting outside of even their own warped logic. For example a group of Freakshow make repeated attempts on Drek's life, or begin to tear themselves apart. Choose their dialogue to show the mindlessness that has overcome them, simple sentence structure, devotion to goals that make no logical sense etc. Show that they are driven to discord.
Just a suggestion, YMMV.
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Logical beings represent an undeniable urge to create order where there is none, and illogical beings one could surmise should be poised to create discord wherever reason and logic can be found. Perhaps you're over thinking the chaos thing? Chaos, and discord, do not necessarily imply randomness all the time anymore than order implies reason and forethought in every instance (if it did there would be no religious/anti-religious debates raging for the past, oh, majority of recorded history).
Perhaps choosing those enemies who would be inclined to seek discord, Feakshow for instance, and choose their actions to reflect an irresistible pull toward discord, so that they are acting outside of even their own warped logic. For example a group of Freakshow make repeated attempts on Drek's life, or begin to tear themselves apart. Choose their dialogue to show the mindlessness that has overcome them, simple sentence structure, devotion to goals that make no logical sense etc. Show that they are driven to discord.
Just a suggestion, YMMV.
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Well darn it... why you gotta sound all old and wise about it.
I'll just have to see what I can do. Mostly thinks to stuff breaking here and there i gained a little space to mess with.
Err what does YMMV mean?
Your mood may vary?
Never did like those things... I don't know what half of them mean.
I believe it's your mileage may vary. I've always taken it to mean, take what you will of this, or get what you can out of it.
I hope I helped steer you in a good direction.
If any of you fabled reviewers could play my arc, totally go through it with a fine toothed comb for grammar/spelling errors I might have missed and/or tiny little details, that would be awesome
arc number 164202, A Fish Tale, the one that didn't get away.
It is about Mako vs Scrapyard, and a wounded heart trying to prevent the whole thing from happening.
EDIT: Very long arc
Also, I know the end should be more "epic" But with one map missing and me using a filler, I have to do with what I got till then.
The FINAL product will have an epic final battle
@MrsAlphaOne
Member of the [url="http://www.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=171543&TabID=1451954"]RIMC[/url]
[url="http://www.freewebs.com/mrsalphaone"]DA![/url]
[color=red]Official Beer Wench of PWNZ[/color] Arc 452196 When Madness Reigns over Reason. Play it and PM me your constructive criticism on what I can tweak before Oct 20th. <3 U all
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If people just started to act crazy, everone else would ask why and look for a reason. Are they trying to be funny? Do they want to be destructive? Are they trying to be heroes. You tell them that they just are, it ends up being a hard thing to swallow. Anyone harmed by such an event from that point forward would take it serious should something simlar happen again.
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There's another problem here though, that in order for something to be truly chaotic, there should be little semblance of pattern. At one moment, sure, things might be wacky. However, there's really no break from that pattern. While at one moment you should have mentions of plastic forks or monsters that moo, there should also be all other sorts of things, crazy and even mundane. Like maybe randomly in one of the Oranbega missions you run into a battle between Family thugs and Soldiers of Rularuu. Later on in the mission, there's a captive set to single, so he's completely alone, but he's reading a newspaper and comments on the most recent headline.
Those are just things off the top of my head, and not me saying that you should do those specific things. But hopefully you understand my point. Chaos isn't defined by insanity, cartoonish or serious. It's defined by a lack of a pattern. Things need to be mixed up a lot more. If people complain that there seems to be no reason or pattern to the things that are occurring, well, then they're pretty stupid for not realizing that the arc is called Facing Chaos, and that it's not a figurative chaos being faced but an actual force that is invading the world.
Arc #92630: I Will Dance On Your Grave
Rating: 3 stars
The short of it: Some of the custom enemies are well balanced, others are annoying, NPC text seems lackluster, a lot of outdoor maps
Plot Overview
A voodoun priestess named Bone Caster has come to you to ask for help. A Bocor named Grave Dancer has taken control of a group of Skulls and is collecting civilians for a sacrifice to make a deal with Baron Samedi. He has granted the Skulls dark powers, and have even transformed some of them into cannibalistic ghouls by having loa possess them. The police are powerless to stop him, so it is up to you to take to the streets and save the helpless citizens. On the streets, you are able to rescue 8 of the citizens, a few of whom are police officers. One of the cops is being possessed by Grave Dancer himself, who tells you that you are too late, and that he already has enough sacrifices to enter the spirit world and make a deal with Baron Samedi.
When you return, Bone Caster says that she has consulted the bones, and that they have told her that Grave Dancer has taken his victims to a hospital, a place of death, to make the sacrifice. You rush there and save the civilians that were still alive, but again Grave Dancer possesses one of the doctors there and tells you that he has already gone to the spirit world to make the deal. Bone Caster is too weak to send you to the spirit world herself, but knows a Native American shaman named Sun Dancer who can take you there. Once in the spirit world, you and Sun Dancer defeat the spirit form of Grave Dancer, who has already made the deal with Baron Samedi for power.
Bone Caster apologizes for being unable to send you there sooner when you return, and tells you that Grave Dancer is at a graveyard summoning his zombie army, and that Sun Dancer has gone ahead. The two of you defeat Grave Dancer and end his dark schemes for good.
Mechanics
I really am not a fan of the map choices in this arc, but that's my personal hatred for outdoor missions. The first, third, and fourth missions are all on outdoor maps, some more annoying than others.
The first mission takes place in the outdoor city map with the graveyard. The standard enemies are the custom skull enemies, who range from the minions who are mace/? and the lieutenants who are dark melee/regen. I did not see the boss rank enemy of the Skull Initiates. All of the patrols, and the enemies surrounding the hostages and the optional bosses are all Bloodthirsty Ghouls, who are also mace/?. Possibly regen on standard, which doesn't have any visual effects. The optional bosses are either Pack Masters, who appear to be Electricity Assault/Pain Domination, and Grave Danger, who was either electric melee or electric assault. he died very fast, so I didn't get a really good chance to check his powers. There are 8 innocents to rescue, two of which are allies and one of which is a "boss", though they are all custom LT police officers, who are also Mace/some secondary I can't tell.
The second mission takes place on the asylum map, which is kind of annoying due to the random clutter everywhere. Skull Initiates are the majority of the enemies in here, guarding all of the 4 captives you need to rescue. You also meet the Skull Summoners here, guarding the altar that you need to destroy. They all seem to be Necromancy/Dark Miasma, both the minions and the Lts.
The third mission takes place on the circular graveyard map with the crypt in the middle. There is a ridiculous amount of optional objectives on this map, including captives with no guards, and a ton of destructible objects. First you need to find Sun Dancer, who is a fire controller with a secondary that I could not tell. After you do, you have to find and defeat Grave Dancer, a difficult task on a large map with a crazy amount of things going on, especially since he looks a lot like the Skull Summoner LTs. (Hint: his spawn is beating on drums) He is necromancy, standard it seems, and willpower set to hard, so even though he's a boss, be prepared for a long fight.
The fourth mission is thankfully simple even though it takes place on the other graveyard map. Sun Dancer is there, but set to single and not required, and Grave Dancer is relatively easy to find.
I have to say that the Skull Summoners are particularly annoying. They are all necromancy, even the minions. It's pretty much like fighting a bunch of Rikti Communications Officers, except you can't interrupt them, and they have a ton of -tohit powers. Sun Dancer was practically always useless, being swarmed by zombies and fighting them instead of anything actually important. I would suggest making the Summoner Zombies something else other than Necromancy. Minions with mastermind powers are always a headache. I also suggest putting Grave Dancer on standard willpower if he absolutely needs to be willpower. Rise to the Challenge gives a ridiculous regen boost.
Story
The plot's alright, though I did start to get annoyed at the end with the constant "You're too late! *evil cackle*" style of mission progression. The character dialogue did not leave any kind of impression on me. You remember in high school when the teacher would call on people to read something out of the book and they really didn't want to? How they would read it like a robot? That's how all of the characters sounded in my mind. Unfortunately I can't really give any kind of specific advice to fix this problem without taking more creative control over your arc than is my place to do. Bone Caster and Grave Dancer's dialogue being written out with a Caribbean accent was a nice touch though. Still, they sounded incredibly flat in my mind.
Final Thoughts
Even though the dialogue isn't stellar, and it has some annoying enemies and in my opinion annoying maps, it wasn't a chore to play, and I had some genuine fun with it. It's not an arc that I would say "Go play this now", but I definitely wouldn't suggest against it either.