My relatives having a " COH intervention " for me
By
abstractx,
Posted on: 2004-10-24 13:19 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
I tried to explain that I had to attend an RPG wedding to my wife and she almost left me 
It's your life to spend how you please, and is not up to other people to tell you what is important or not. We're all going to die, and that is the only thing that I can see which is important at all.
Unless you are dependant on them, tell them to go stuff it. Humans don't know a damn thing about anything, and certainly not more then another human.
Attack when attacked, turn their own weakness back on them. If they are religous, point out the destructive and addictive nature of their beliefs. Etc.
Its almost to the point now where I have a hard time telling the differnece between real life and video games.
I am driving down the road and sometimes I get mad and want to ram the other car, like the Grand Theft Auto game and I realize that would be stupid but it almost happens.
You see my point. Its like its okay to hurt other people cuz its all a game. Life is a game to me.
Top 10 things not to tell them:
10. But I only need 7,546 more Ricti monkies and I get a badge.
9. I can't quit my task force.
8. I am on a timed mission.
7. My SG will kick me if I am gone for a weekend.
6. I can't go. I don't have a travel power yet.
5. Is the intervention level restricted?
4. On no it's an ambush!
3. Is the psychiatrist empathy or kinetics?
2. How many players are needed for this mission?
*drum roll*
And the #1 thing NOT to tell your parents when they schedule a game addiction intervention is ......
1. Can I bring my laptop?
It's not "someone" who died playing games, it's a bunch of people. That guy in the internet cafe was just one. There were about two or three people who played Diablo 2 till they died, and a bunch of people in Korea playing Korean MMORPG's till they died. Not the kind of this that appears in your everyday newspaper, but if you keep up with gaming news and visit forums, you can find these things out...
[ QUOTE ]
My question to you all is should I even go to this?
[/ QUOTE ]
Yes, and train the PI docks on your family in the process.
[ QUOTE ]
It's not "someone" who died playing games, it's a bunch of people. That guy in the internet cafe was just one. There were about two or three people who played Diablo 2 till they died, and a bunch of people in Korea playing Korean MMORPG's till they died. Not the kind of this that appears in your everyday newspaper, but if you keep up with gaming news and visit forums, you can find these things out...
[/ QUOTE ]
There's only one documented case that I know and that's the 86 hour one. He would have died anyway if he was *awake* that long, as your brain does in fact shut down after about 48 hours. It is irreversable brain damage after about 50.
Notice how most of these cases occur in internet cafes in Korea? What *exactly* are they doing that makes them so vulnerable to this? I don't know of any American cases, other than "blaming a game for them blowing their brains out" which is the Sony case I recall now. Thrown out, as I recall, but I might be jumping the gun, I don't know for sure if it's completely over.
In any case, how many MILLIONS of people play online, pc, ps2 or whatever games and DO NOT do this? It's not a case of "it's happening all the time! It must be stopped!" It's a case of weeding out the weaklings. Literally - if you can't remember to freaking SLEEP, honestly how can you hold down a job, a family, or anything else? Addictive personalities CAN go that far, but not under any large percentage of the population.
It's like the people who go out and bite their parents to death claiming they're Vampires because of the Vampire Masquerade game. Bull Crap Ola. They did it because they were STUPID and CRAZY. The game did NOT make them do it. Judas Priest did NOT make those kids commit suicide - their depressive home conditions and oblivious parents did. D&D has not yet made me into a satanic witch casting ritual magic spells and I've been playing it for what? 25 years?
So...... no. It's not something that anyone needs to worry about. The pokemon "flashing image" epilepsy thing yeah, because there are more people who will respond IF their screen refresh rate and their video game goes in just the right tiny way. Not all epileptics need to worry. Not all games will flicker that way. In their case, better safe than sorry and we see the warnings on boxes. But ... I dread the day when some law firm makes me read a stupid label. I know better. Most other people do too. Give them some credit...
Please read my FEAR/Portal/HalfLife Fan Fiction!
Repurposed
I'm still waiting for a bit more explanation as to why it's gone this far. Are you failing classes, losing a job, lost a girlfriend over this? Do you start playing Friday night and not stop til Monday morning? Do you skip out of stuff to play?
If the answers are no, then they're probably overreacting...but if it's yes, it may be justified. Having gotten 2 flavors of the month to 50 I see (I wouldn't advertise that myself btw) and who knows how many other characters played, maybe you have put too much time into it.
[ QUOTE ]
Its almost to the point now where I have a hard time telling the differnece between real life and video games.
[/ QUOTE ]
Then -yes-, you should cut back, get into the real world and deal with real people.
If there is one thing that is absolutely VITAL to remember, it's that in a game, there are no real consequences. But in real life, you PAY for the things you do and say. And you could easily ruin your life if you lose track of that for too long.
[ QUOTE ]
I am driving down the road and sometimes I get mad and want to ram the other car, like the Grand Theft Auto game and I realize that would be stupid but it almost happens.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You see my point. Its like its okay to hurt other people cuz its all a game. Life is a game to me.
[/ QUOTE ]
Life isn't a game. Other people are -people-, with hopes and dreams and lives of their own. They're not just computer opponents, and people that care about them.
If this is genuinely how you feel about things, I'd say you need to lay off the fantasy worlds of videogames and television and get some counselling.
Jason Heavensrun
Swift : Freedom Server
http://www.bladeandepsilon.com/CheckmateStudios
Check out my first Architect Arc, "Bring Up the Sun", arc #339507, and let me know what you think!
I have a simple answer to your problem. Girls. SEX>COH nuff said
You gotta have balance I guess. I have a job, gf, lots of friends, family etc and I still finds tons of time to play CoH. And anyways, I cant play any game for more than 3 hours straight without at least a 15 min break.
Putting in game terms, after a while, your sim loses family friends if he (or she) doesn't go "social" with them.
Your friends and family are saying that they miss you. Now, you might have went through a lot of things on your life. But I bet you have never drinked Caipirinha in a sunny beach in Brazil, with 3 ladies (or men) on your feet.
Not that I have.... but I should...
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I kinda maybe have that problem as well...I have plenty enough free time, but my parents seem to think that playing games during it is less useful than say, wandering around the house.
[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah I dont get it, some people think that playing games is bad or something. There is a whoe generation of people who believe that gaming is bad.
Remember that people thought watching TV was bad. Now look at it, everyone watches TV.
It could be worse, I could be outside stealing things and getting into drugs.
[/ QUOTE ]
hmmm..not a bad idea (just kidding)
but they usually use the argument that I don't focus on school very much if I'm allowed to play games too much. At this point, regardless of how little they let me play em, I'm always going to be thinking quite a bit about the game. I always do my homework and such.
Thens ometimes they say I should be doing other "stuff" hanging out with "buds" and so on. I get plenty of that, and quite often, it dtill doesn't change the fact I still have a fair bit of free time. Plus, if I prefer playing games to hanging out with buds, what's it to them? I'm old enough to choose for myself, beleive me...
anyways...I'm looking forward to turning 18 (well, I actually won't be 18 until a couple months into college..oh well)
while were at it, my parents only let me play games (at my house, if friends are over or I'm at someone elses place it's a diff story) friday evenings...so after dinner, which is 6 hrs a week. Now I feel sad...Iit took me six weeks to gain a level (mainly because I can rarely find the proper requirements to gain proper xp in that time)
welcome to the first stage of dissociation, and possibly psychosis. i would recommend seeing a psychiatrist immediately. no i'm not kidding about this. you could have an underlying mental illness that hasn't been noticed, or has been ignored. don't get to the point i was at before you seek help. (not video game related)
oh, if the shrink moves right into giving you drugs after one session, get another doctor. no doctor worth his degree will start handing out samples like candy.
seek help! and don't train mobs on yer family. it's a CoC violation.
[ QUOTE ]
My relatives and friends believe I am in a self-destructive spiral from playing City of Heroes too much and they have decided to stage an intervention just for me.
My question to you all is should I even go to this? They tell me I have an online gaming disorder. I am the only one in my family who plays a massive online game.
I think they are all wierd, they think I am wierd. I'm tired of people telling me what to do with my life. What should I do about COH?
[/ QUOTE ]
There will always be games to play. You only have one family.
Go along to the intervention. Explain that you enjoy gaming very much, but that they are more important. You don't want to give up your gaming altogether, but they obviously want to know that you CAN leave it alone when you need to, so you'll prove it. Offer to give up playing for two weeks, straight. After that, only play on certain nights of the week. Make a plan with them and stick to it.
Your family clearly cares a lot about you. If you don't demonstrate to them that you can moderate your gaming, then they will think that the only way to help you is to cut you off from it. So, my advice is to cut down before you get cut off altogether.
I also gotta say, I really hope COH is at its peak (and stays there for a long time), rather than at a much lower point than this when I get to college...I'd hate to miss out on some of the games greatest things just because it's outdated. (however, if blizz releases a world of starcraft, well...I'm sure some of you get my drift).
Well, I just had a huge argument with a few of my friends. They are telling me I need help. I'm like so what if I only get out two or three times a month, I like this game.
I'm determined to have another level 50 superhero. My friends told me that I must be psychotic to want to stay inside and play this game.
All I know is this: Time is the only thing keeping me from reaching my goal, to get another level 50 superhero. I'm so focused on that, maybe I cant see straight, I dont know. I dont care.
I told my friends to go away, if you dont like it then dont come back. I'll make new friends. By the way, I'm out of high school, living by myself, no social life except at work.
I'm not hurting anyone, I dont see why my relatives look at me like I'm some psycho. I may skip that intervention crap. 
I think all you need to do is ask yourself if you play to the exclusion of other things.
Are you missing work/homework/things you used to do with friends and family? Is it a problem to turn the game off if you're not in a task force or something? Or, if there was a real emergency, would you have a real difficult decision to just quit the game right then and there?
If you answered "No" to all of the above questions, you probablly don't have an addiction, but maybe you should look into cutting back on play time a little bit.
My mom used to hound me all the time about "playing too many games."
Now I make them for a living. I think I turned out all right.
So, do what makes you happy. 
Gaming goes from being recreation to a "problem" when certain things happen:
1. It begins to interferre with personal relationships or professional careers (including schooling).
2. You make excuses/sacrifices in order to increase your playing time. This includes cancelling on family events (if you wouldn't normally) or calling in sick to work.
3. You find yourself obsessing over in-game things while not playing.
There's more, but these are the basics. An easy test is if you "don't know what to do with yourself if you don't play the game for a day or two".
I play a lot of video games. A LOT. But I don't have a "problem" because I've always been a recluse, the last thing that could happen is a video game-related loss of employment, and I regularly take breaks (a few days each month) to clear my head.
Online games can be a healthy part of your life if that's what you want them to be. The problem occurs when they become all of your life and slowly eat away at everything else. Family members absolutely love to tell each other what they ought to be doing, but it's very hard for anyone but a gamer to know whether another gamer is letting the computer destroy their life.
It's like single friends complaining because the newlywed doesn't come out partying with them as much. New life, new priorities, new responsibilities. If you choose to be a gamer you have to make adjustments just as you do for any other hobby, interest, vocation, or relationship.
The problem is when you let gaming take over more of your life than it requires. When you let it destroy your job, your grades, your friendships and even your health - THAT's a problem.
It's the difference between gaming as a recreation and as a vocation/obsession. Unless you're getting paid to do it, don't treat it like a job.
The line can be a little fuzzy, but it's there. If you're not sure which side you're standing on the odds are it's the wrong side. Give up gaming for a week and re-evaluate it. If you don't like other people telling you what to do, make certain your decisions are the right ones. Listen to the other side, give them an honest hearing, and then make a choice based on all the fact (not just your opinions).
I agree with what Lady_Sadako has said. It's getting clearer from your posts that you have an "obsession". And now it seems that your obsession is getting noticed by those close to you. They care enough about you to try to help you.
I would take Lady_Sadako's suggestion and take some time off and stick to a plan, at least for month, afterwards to show them that you are strong enough to control your gaming habits.
You could even look at this from a self-serving PoV, as well. As she said if you don't do this your gaming privaleges may be revoked entirely. I'm positive you don't want that to happen. As well, regulating your gaming with interacting with the real world will help keep you healthy so you can continue to enjoy gaming for years to come.
One last tidbit. Don't cut yourself short by "living" in an online world created by someone else. The real world is a huge place with an untold number of experiences to be had. Out there you can make things happen that will give you an amazing amount of freedom and choices to make your life far more exciting and valuable than any confined online world can give. Out there is massive; it's far bigger and with more things to do than any game can offer. Take advantage of that. Gaming can be a part of it, sure.
I'll leave you with a quote that I came up with concerning drug addiction a few years ago, and by substituting the word 'drugs' with 'a game' you can see my point:
"You may allow a game to be a part of your day, but do not ever allow a game to become your day." - me
hmm...this sounds all too familiar now. yeah dude, get some help. seriously. whether it be from your family or from a doctor, but make it a point to speak to someone. isolation isn't a good thing. my girlfriend is always worried about me staying in all day and not leaving hte house except to work and occasionally shop. personally i like staying in, but i do go out and hang with my friends once in a while. this almost sounds like you're trying to avoid life to play a game. you've set a goal, another lvl 50. fine, you've got the rest of your life to do that. right now it is more important to step back and evaluate all of this with a PERSON. not me, the guy on the other end of the link, or the rest of the folks here. we mean literally NOTHING to you in the long run. our advice shouldn't mean more than that of your family. they are obviously concerned. you have an obligation, as family, to listen to their concerns.
[ QUOTE ]
welcome to the first stage of dissociation, and possibly psychosis. i would recommend seeing a psychiatrist immediately. no i'm not kidding about this. you could have an underlying mental illness that hasn't been noticed, or has been ignored. don't get to the point i was at before you seek help. (not video game related)
oh, if the shrink moves right into giving you drugs after one session, get another doctor. no doctor worth his degree will start handing out samples like candy.
[/ QUOTE ]
Quickly! Overreact! Misdiagnose! Be pompous! It's imperative.
IMHO I'd go to talk to them about it, but if you are maintaining friends, keeping your grades up, and want to play in your free time then I can't imagine what problem they would have other then a general dislike of video gaming. To me this is a hobby just like I enjoy painting and other activities that have no "real" goal or purpose other than I have fun doing them.
There is a great web site that explores the psychology of MMORPGs - both the good and the bad. It examines the very real social worlds of the games (such as how it could help or hurt your relationships) as well as gaming addiction. A good listing of articles by topic can be found here.
This is a great article on the very social nature of MMORPGs and how they are much more like hobbies than more passive forms of entertainment.
Here's an intersting site on gaming addiction and its effects.
Hope these are helpful. Maybe you could print out some of these to show your family and friends to help them understand your hobby. If you can show professional psychologists talking about these games in a positive way, maybe they will be more supportive or at least more tolerant.
Good luck!
The guy that died from playing for three days straight was a South Korean who was playing Everquest for like 86 hours straight I think, and that was like two years ago.
The task force missions in this game make you sit down for hours and hours at a time, sometimes eight hours straight!!!!!!
Comon, I mean aren't we all spiraling outta control when it comes to internet gaming? I think people play more than what they want others to believe.
I bet people lie about their internet activities to their family and friends and co-workers.
Its like the internet is some bad secret nobody wants to discuss. Why is the internet taboo in the united states?
We are all socially interacting with a computer so maybe my relatives have a point to my obsession with online gaming.
Eventually there will come a day when you will want a girl and you go to your computer and choose her and she pops up into your bedroom right before your eyes, just like the movie Logans Run.