Steelclaw
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Posts
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Joined
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Quote:Scrap 'em and bring in a replacement...Originally Posted by SpaceNut
So I have to ask...
What happens if you plan a character out and then discover that you hate playing them?
Let's face it... by now we're ALL aware I have no problems deleting characters. -
Here's my Amusing Double XP Weekend Story...
I picked this weekend to disassemble my computer room... tear up the ancient rug and replace it with tile flooring... I finished reassembling the computers and logged in with around 25 minutes of double xp glory left...
For some reason I thought it was NEXT weekend... -
Quote:Simple question... not so simple answer... but I'll give it a try...Originally Posted by DMystic
Don't forget the massive Excel sheets for your competitions.
Speaking of, how's the latest one doing? Anybody get to 50 yet?
For those of you who don't know me or what DMystic is talking about... congratulations... I now strongly suggest you exit this thread without reading a single word further... you're better off... really.
For those who do know about my Tournament (and those of you who are gluttons for punishment) I'll remind you that I used to play this game in "Tournament Mode" which is, to put it VERY briefly, I ran roughly 30 or so characters at the same time, tracked all their information and "competed" against myself. I had well over 100 spreadsheets tracking all the various information, doing calculations, and basically creating a solid framework for my particular brand of Madness (patent pending).
Around the Halloween Event of 2011 I finally waved the white flag of surrender and trashed the Tournament completely. Sort of. If you want to look at it from a programmers point of view, as of October, 2011 I was working on CoX Tournament version 1.23. I had run through 23 versions of the competition model by the time I grew too aggravated with it to pursue it any longer.
So, what did I do, you ask? Did Steelclaw actually just PLAY the game without structure? Without a plan or goal in mind other than just to have fun? Did I actually just log into CoH Servers without first booting up Excel and at least a spreadsheet or two?
Perish the thought.
Think of what I'm doing now as Tournament Version 2.02. Yes, I've actually gone through two updates over my original concept back in November. The good news is that updating my Tournament NOW does NOT require me to delete all my characters and start over.
Here's how version 2.02 works:
Traderbots/Buyerbots
Every day I spend around 20 to 30 minutes futzing around with my Traderbots (on the Exalted server) and my Storagebots (on Champion). The Traderbots do nothing but play the market. Buy low, sell high, never keep or use anything.
This nets me an average of 100 to 150 million influence PER DAY. Basically after I'm done buying and selling every "penny" over 100,000,000 the bot has I consider profit and email to my global. After I've gone through all six of my Traders I head over to my Storagebots who snag all the influence from the emails.
The Storagebots are my purchasers. Their only purpose is to put bids out on recipes of the Purple and PvP variety. Any recipe I need that is not one of those two types I typically buy via Reward Merits or Alignment Merits. The bids escalate depending on how much moolah I have and how many recipes are active. So, if I have 20 recipes I am currently bidding on and bring in 120 million influence, then I rebid all the recipes 6 million higher than their last bid. I do this until all recipes are purchased at which time I just accumulate influence until I have more things to bid on.
Active Player
The biggest change and greatest relief of the new system is I only play ONE character at a time. I do NOT farm these characters. I play them on teams and I play them solo, but never run them through AE or let them door sit. I don't really have anything against people who do, this is just my personal choice.
Before these characters start I have already planned them out from first level to 50th and all through their incarnate choices. They exist from start to finish on a spreadsheet before I ever enter the costume creator. All their powers selected and planned out. All the enhancements that will be slotted in those powers are listed and categorized... everything done.
I have one character who has all the Recipes memorized. He is the only one who does ANY building of enhancements for ALL my characters. This saves HUGE amounts of influence and allows me to sell all recipes and enhancements as soon as I get them. This character has already created every enhancement and set enhancement the Active Player will need before that character is even created. These IOs are stored in the Super Group base for when they are needed.
This saves me a huge amount of time in the long run and also improves the fun of the game. I don't have to break my momentum now to craft IOs... I just hop into my SG base and slot up then off missions again. I do NOT create any Set Enhancements (Luck of the Gambler, Hecatomb, etc) below level 50. I figure I can wait until then to get all the set bonuses.
Each Active Character is played until the following criteria is met:
* they reach level 50
* they unlock every Incarnate Power and slot a Tier 4 in it
* they have all level 50+ IOs slotted in every power
* they have The Atlas Medallion, Freedom Phalanx Reserve, Portal Jockey and Task Force Commander Accolades
After these criteria are reached, I retire that character and start a new one.
On Deck Character
The On Deck Character is the one who is standing by ready to get going once I retire the Active one. They aren't really "created" beyond the spreadsheet completion and planning stage.
So, you ask "why even have a character spreadsheeted if they aren't created yet?" Well, one reason really... While the Active Player is playing, the Traderbots and Storagebots are spending all their time getting the Recipes needed for the On Deck Character. I need to know all the recipes they'll be needing so I create the character entirely in concept so I can go shopping while waiting for their turn to start.
When the Active Player retires I spend two or three days playing my Main to build all the recipes. To further reduce the costs of building, I run him multiple times through an AE mission I created for the purpose. It's not to make influence as much as to farm tickets which I use to get all the common salvage I'll need to slot IOs from levels 15 to 40. (The salvage for 45 and 50th level recipes is so cheap I don't bother to farm AE for it and just buy it from Wentworths.)
When the current On Deck Player goes Active I select the next character I want to run to be On Deck and the whole process starts all over again.
And Could I Have A Side Order of Obsessive-Compulsive With That?
Yeah, I'm OCD when it comes to my games. You've probably guessed that by now. So, even when they retire that doesn't mean they're DONE yet.
To amuse myself I rank all my characters' progress on the "Con" scale. Gray to Green to Blue, White, Yellow, Orange, Red and finally Purple. The Con is based on what percentage of completion they've reached. Now the fun part...
When I officially retire an Active Player... they only con Red. Not Purple.
In order to Con Purple (ie- 100% of goals accomplished), they have to fulfill all the Retirement requirements and the following additions:
* all five costume slots opened and created (not always completed by retirement due to availability of Halloween salvage)
* All Enhancements receive enough enhancement boosters to max them out at 55 if they can be so raised.
I buy a LOT of super packs and spend my Vet Rewards points on Enhancement Boosters every month. This allows me to Boost the powers over time, but it still takes quite a bit to get a character completely raised to 50+5's. And yes... I even boost the Run Speed in Sprint.
Progress Report
My goal as of right now is to have a Retired character in every AT. At this point I am just shy of half way there. Here is my current character list:
D'Shan Steelclaw... Claws/Regeneration Scrapper... Natural ... Cons Purple
Edie Wyldefire... Fire/Devices Blaster... Magic ... Cons Purple
Mistress Monolith... Willpower/Super Strength Tank... Mutant ... Cons Red
Guardian Edge... Broadsword/Willpower Brute... Natural ... Cons Red
Lord Gravenheart... Necromancy/Dark Miasma Mastermind... Magic ... Cons Red
Razor's Whisper... Ninja Blade/Super Reflexes Stalker... Natural ... Cons Red
Razor is currently level 50 with everything completed except maxing out his Incarnate abilities. So, I'll keep him in Pocket D grinding Trials until he's done. After him is planned...
Passive Aggression... Empathy/Psychic Blast Defender... Magic... Cons Grey
So... that's it. That's my current "Tournament" in a nutshell. I think it's working pretty well considering how much I've accomplished in just over 10 months.
TL;DR version: Steelclaw's still crazy. Just in a more productive way. -
I do NOT make LISTS...
* I make sequential representations of my thoughts...
* I make psychological tests by which I can analyze the likely sanity of various forum members...
* I send highly coded messages to our agents in deep cover...
* I make troll bait...
* ... some jester's are snipers... I'm more of a PBAoE approach...
* I am doing on-going research involving throwing mass quantities of post-digestive matter at a wall to see how much is adhesive...
* I am merely following orders... otherwise the voice in my head won't let me sleep...
* I'm a patience tester.
* I'm giving you full value for your dollar!
* I have an unhealthy obsession with the number 10. -
* All zones no longer divided into PvE and PvP... now simply referred to as "Buffet."
* Say good bye to Lusca.... say hello to Sharkzilla...
* Not to say anything bad will happen to her... but you may want to get your Believer badge NOW...
* A strange fish-like guy walks up to you wearing a fake mustache... he warns you that Captain Mako has been spotted nearby and the only way to protect yourself is rub these herbs and spices into your skin then hit yourself repeatedly with a meat tenderizer...
* No matter how large/small the body of water... whenever you are running/swimming through it two or three shark fins will appear and follow you... and yes... that includes the sewers...
* Flying sharks with laser cannons in Shadow Shard!
* (The following joke is extremely dated... like 70's dated... acknowledging you get it is as good as saying you're old...) Every time you click on a non-mission door a voice from the other side will say "Candygram..."
* Running the Admiral Sutter Task Force just got a LOT more interesting...
* At the end of the Death From Below trial instead of the two hydra heads you find Mako with a dreadfully distended stomach... you still get all the bubble and vortex attacks (bad gas)... but instead of attacking him you must spawn the temp power "Pepto-Bismal" at him over and over again..
*Defeat Mako's forces and get a Jabberjaw as a summonable pet! -
Independence Day:
"Oh, no, don't you shoot..."
Goonies:
"And you're kinda pretty..."
Princess Bride:
"Stop it! I mean it!"
"The rodents of unusual size?"
Ghost Busters:
"Dogs and cats, living together..."
Star Wars:
"I'd sooner kiss a wookie..."
"I thought they smelled bad..." -
Why you should stop inviting people to DFB...
* Because you don't know these people and it's a SEWER... on a comparison of First Dates this is the equivalent of taking her to Burger King and an Adam Sandler movie...
* Anything that involves sewers and/or toilets and is called "Death From BELOW" isn't something any normal person would want to be associated with...
* Besides the fact that you'd be face planting in raw sewage if you're defeated... you are ported to a hospital that is... wait for it... in a sewer too... but don't worry... the nursing staff assures me it's entirely sterile... even the cockroaches have to scrub before entering...
* The very concept of a Hellions Arch-Villain must violate SOME universal laws... on the other hand maybe he's the one who finally got the purse... -
* "It looked like the 8 man Brute team had sewed up the Gold Medal in Synchronized Chaos... but then the 8 man Thugs Mastermind team all used Gang War at the same time..."
* "Oh dear.... well... he didn't make an impact in the Super Speed Narrow Cave Map Dash... but he certainly made an impact on that wall..."
* Overheard at the start of the 100-Meter Dash, Stone Armor Only Division: "Speed Boost!" "SB Meh!" "My kingdom for a Kinetics coach!"
* "Okay... for the last time... this is an Accuracy competition for Blasters, Defenders and Corruptors... this competition is to show pin point accuracy... yes I know you technically hit the bullseye... but Targeted AoE is not allowed according to the rules... no, I don't have a prejudice against Fire Blasters..."
* "And here we are at the Rhythmic Gymnastics medal round... where.. for the 5th time since the start of competition.. the Stalker entrant is arguing with the judges... she appears to be asking 'if you can't see the routine, how can you be sure it wasn't perfect?'"
* "And that was the Stone Armor Tanker entrant into the 50 meter platform diving competition... there will be a 30 minute break while we re-fill the pool..."
* "You'd think that a Water Blaster would be a natural at the Diving competition but... let's face it... they take points off for that much splash..."
* "Today the Olympic council announced that... from this day forward... all Kinetics heroes and villains will be barred from attending all racing events..."
* "And there will be a small delay at the Shot Put event until we can determine whether or not the last entrant has, in fact, achieved low orbit..."
* "The investigation revealed that the Gold Medal winner in the event was not a Brute, but a Mind Control Dominator... had not actually competed... had not been listed on the entrant manifest in the first place... aaand was out of town at the time of the actual competition..."
* "Well... the finish line electric eye registered someone crossed it while the camera's showed no one there... so it was obviously a Stalker... problem is we have three in the race... and they're all claiming to be the winner.."
* "I think at the next Olympics we really need to eliminate the Super Strength Brutes from the Power Lifting competition... It's not that they aren't good at it... it's just that the way they need to build their Fury bar prior to the deadlift is really hard on the spectators..."
* "We need to change the Ring-Out rule on Wrestling scoring... the Storm Summoners are walking away with this..."
* "Fencing is one blade... ONE..."
* "(deep sigh) Fine... another freaking tie... can someone talk to the Devs about changing the travel power Cap rules?"
* "Yes, we use the same Teleportation Suppression technology as in Pocket D... Well, I guess you should have considered that possibility before entering the Marathon..."
* "As we are seeing history being made today! Yes, today in the Discus event a Storm Summoner has FINALLY found an actual use for Gale..." -
Since they've started talking about revamping the Blaster I've had this song rattling around in my head. Generally, the only way I can get something like that OUT of my head is to finally write it all down, I've gone ahead and done so.
Since I had it all written down anyway I decided to share it here. This is dedicated to the old Blaster and all its little issues of supreme Squishy-ness.
To the tune of Queen's "Keep Yourself Alive"...
Well I chose to play blaster
But little did I know
That my health would soon hit max
At about three hit points or so
Well I’ve run a million missions
I’ve been on a million teams
Always the first to do face plantin’
At least that’s they way it seems
I’ve teamed with ‘leet Defenders
With their green numbers and buffs
They all claimed they were the best
I assumed they knew their stuff
But when the battle starts and mayhem falls
There’s panic in the ranks
Those Defenders leave me hanging
And focus on the Tanks!
Keep my pancake alive
Keep my pancake alive
I’ll give you all my freakin’ loot
To keep my health supplied
Well I’ve played with some controllers
The best they self-proclaim
Never let a team mate down
Self-made masters of the game
Inspired by villain silence
I jump among them deep
It is then that I discover
They weren’t held they’re just asleep!
Oh I’ve played with melee masters
Those Scrappers, Tanks and Brutes
Lookin’ large and so in charge
In their flashy spandex suits
Oh yes they’re rough and they are tough
And they can hit the damage cap
But they’ll soon give in to madness
And go agro half the map!
Keep my pancake alive
Keep my pancake alive
I’d rather play than face plant honey
Keep my pancake alive
Keep my pancake alive
Keep my pancake alive
Got more debt than XP sonny
So please keep my pancake alive! -
To address this list business once and for all.
I am retired. I agree with all my apparently many and very vocal detractors that I am not funny. I publicly apologize for every attempt at humor I have ever done in the past on these forums as they were quite obviously misdirected and foolhardy.
While I am still playing the game itself, I believe this will be my last post on the forums. It is no longer fun here. I had fully intended not to write a good-bye post as they always strike me as self-serving and attention-grabbing. Unfortunately, it appears I can not even make a serious post that wasn't intended to be funny at all without people telling me "that wasn't funny."
So be it.
Thank you, Memphis Bill, for at least responding to the actual subject of my thread and not turning this into some sort of personal attack.
For those who believe this is a joke of some kind, you will be waiting a very long time for the punchline. -
I would like to suggest that Tier 9 powers with the horrendous endurance drain occurring after the power is used (in the case of nukes) or after the timer on the power runs out (in the case of ultimate-defenses) be changed slightly.
My argument is that Incarnate characters get Judgement powers, which are as powerful or more powerful than Tier 9 nukes, at no such penalty. It doesn't make a lot of sense that the "lesser" power should have an endurance drain when the more powerful one does not.
My suggestion is that any character who unlocks and then slots any Incarnate power get a 25% reduction of the endurance penalty on Tier 9 powers for every level of Incarnate Tier slotted. So, if the highest Incarnate power you have slotted is a Common then you get a 25% reduction of the endurance penalty, 50% for Uncommon, 75% for Rare and finally complete removal of the penalty when you slot your first Very Rare Incarnate enhancement.
Just unlocking Alpha, etc with no actual improvement will result in no endurance penalty reduction. -
I still can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that Robert De Niro played Fearless Leader in the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie.
Also, speaking of prestigious actors doing goofy roles, Patrick Stewart as the green-goo, egg-obsessed alien king in Jimmy Newtron: Boy Genius movie was a bit of a surprise too. -
Having just watched the live streaming of the player summit... here are the Top Ten biggest surprise reveals
10) Introduction of the Paragon Power Chords heavy metal band... or... one guy with an acoustic guitar... who will now be playing regular gigs in Pocket D...
9) New Sonic Assault-based Super Villain who will scream random Anime quotes into a microphone as heroes approach him doing massive damage and feedback... his name? Black Pebble
8) Water Blast power set. Interest peaked early but waned when Devs refused to allow the power's animation origin to be "around waist level"...
7) Paradox Story Planning! "We're going to end the Praetorian content by letting you finally defeat Marcus Cole... Oh! And we're introducing a new Praetorian Zone to keep the ol' Praetorian story line rolling!"
6) Zwillinger revealed his "Little Mastermind"... unfortunately the web camera's resolution was too poor to show it on Ustream... or at least that's what HE claims was the problem...
5) Super Packs are the hottest seller on the Paragon Market... which means they're scrapping the "know what you're buying before you buy it" market model entirely and going with 100% grab-bag!!
4) Night Ward will feature creepy monsters dressed up in olde English Police Bobby uniforms to enforce order and discipline... clearly NCSoft is hoping to make a little cash on the side selling the rights to the concept to the SyFy Network..
3) When making any decision the Marketing department pose their questions to a Princess Celestia doll... In and of itself this isn't too surprising... what IS surprising is that apparently Magic Eightball was let go and we never got the chance to say goodbye...
2) Drink tickets were passed out at the beginning of the Summit... the first of them appeared on the in-game Auction House lists approximately 34 seconds later.
1) Since they won't be needing them any longer anyway... the Souls of the entire Marketing department will be made available on the Paragon Market for 1200 points each sometime this summer... -
My hope/wish/suggestion for the Nemesis Invasion...
In un-populated city zones such as Boomtown, Perez Park, etc... Burrowers come up out of the ground and unload enemies by the score... all enemies will be standard Nemesis Soldiers and maybe a few new Elite Boss level steam-punk attack bots... The warning order will be "Unusual seismic activity has been detected in (appropriate zone)!"
In zones where there is a civilian presence it will go a little differently... Every citizen already on the streets will suddenly stop and do a "look up at the sky" sort of emote... a message will appear in Caption chat "Awaken my minions and fulfill your programming!"... at this point every civie in the zone will turn into a Nemesis Automaton and begin attacking... they will also begin to flood out of any office/building/warehouse door which a player is nearby... The warning order will be "Strange radio transmission intercepted in (appropriate zone)"
If you REALLY want to make me happy.... have all the contacts/trainers/NPCs become automatons too... -
Quote:Worst Planet Earth Destruction Scenario EVAH: Black Bolt gets kicked in the junk... when he wasn't expecting it.Originally Posted by Starflier
Did Cap just get shot in the junk?
-
Remember the wedding of Manticore and Sister Psyche? It was an event that took place during the Spring Fling. If you wanted you could have your character attend it and actually bear witness to the wedding itself, including the vows, emotes and the eventual Arachnos attack...
They had several instances of it so if you weren't able to make one of them you could always pop into one of the others.
It was a one-off... it's not like we can slip into Ouroboros and re-live the event now... but... it was fun. It was a great way by which we the players could be PART of the events in Paragon history.
I would have loved (would STILL love if the Devs can swing it) to have had the same opportunity with Statesman and Sister Psyche's funerals. Not just a few art pieces of the casket(s) being carried or someone grieving, but a full-blown community gathering in an instanced map where a ceremony was performed and some words were spoken.
Statesman's death was a major Paragon story-line event and it should have been given a bit more attention. I would have loved to have seen Lord Recluse attend, not as an attacker, but simply to pay his respects to a fallen, but still much respected, enemy... perhaps even said a few words. Maybe Manticore could have popped in to angrily point out that Statesman wasn't the ONLY hero who fell and confront Countess Crey demanding Darrin Wade.
I would like to offer the Dev team the suggestion that one-off events like the M&SP wedding would be GREAT additions to the calendar. They would tie in perfectly with the beginning or end of Signature Story Arcs. If you want a marketing reason for including them then host them solely on Exalted as a VIP perk.
Just a thought. -
In addition to my normal monthly subscription I allot myself a CoH allowance of $50 a month. And I generally go through those points in the first week of having them... all of them...
While this may sound pretty bad my wife spends roughly twice that amount on HER on-line games... so I consider myself thrifty... -
I don't have the energy or interest in actually putting in the links (insomnia + massive headache = ugh)... but here's my daily watch list:
Kevin & Kell
9 Chickweed Lane
Least I Could Do (semi-not suitable for work)
Safe Havens
On the Fast Track
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal (twisted humor for Mensa members)
Girls with Slingshots
Questionable Content
Wapsi Square
Gunnerkrigg Court
The Dreamland Chronicles
Menage a 3 (DEFINITELY not suitable for work)
Eerie Cuties
Goblins
Looking for Group
Jay Naylor's Original Life (main site is okay... has a naughty section NSFW)
Sequential Art (cute platypus pet FTW!!)
Between Failures
Gutters
Blooming Fairies (decidedly, definitely and derliously NSFW)
Grrl Power (possibly my favorite super-hero-centric web comic out there now)
Liberty Meadows
Magic Chicks
Khaos Comic (read the disclaimer before entering)
Dumbing of Age (teetering on the edge of my "delete list" but not bad at the moment)
El Goonish Shrive (the artist's comments are as entertaining as the comic)
Bear Nuts (care bears on crack... one of them literally)
Spinerette
Las Lindas (nothing out and out NSFW but definitely suggestive.. unless you enter certain parts of the Bonus Comic section)
Sabrina
Puck (another teeter-er)
Quiltbag (not sure if this one is a keeper... only reading it as it was a follow up to the now-defunct Penny and Aggie) -
Wow... much better than the suggestion I sent in...
Very well played... I bow to the Masters... -
* Despite your Heroic status your mailman is convinced you're at LEAST a vigilante...
* While sit, stay and roll over are still rather far out of their reach... all your pets have LONG since mastered play dead... well... maybe not the "play" part...
* Your pets so far? Three hamsters... two chihuahuas... and a near-sighted skunk...
* You see the book "A River Runs Through It" in the library and it reminds you you really need to work on housebreaking...
* Ms. Liberty won't train you any more and refuses to hear your explanation of "he does that to everything that stands in one place without moving..."
* Your mailman refuses to make deliveries to your super base...
* As far as your pets are concerned... every squirrel in Paragon has a constant Taunt aura...
* On Mayhem missions your pets refuse to destroy any Fire Hydrants... they also refuse to leave them alone...
* Your pets PUT Timmy down the well...
* Your mailman has been reported missing...
* Your Dire Wolf chases cars.... then brings them back to you...
* At your last award ceremony for services to the City your Dire Wolf got a little too friendly with the Mayor's leg...
* Your lionesses get surly if you refuse to put their Lion King DVD on loop...
* While wielding a pooper-scooper on your pets' latest "presents" you find a US Postal Service patch... -
I would fly out West and have a meeting with one Samuraiko...
From that meeting would come Steelclaw & Samuraiko Studios which would specialize in computer animated movies...
... full length ones... think Shrek only with Super Heroes and the like...
Think the world is ready for that kind of thing? -
Quote::: adds Texas Justice's name to the Petition For Steelclaw To Never Post On The Forums Again...::Originally Posted by Texas Justice
Wait.
You mean his previous lists were supposed to be humorous?
Hmmmm.
If you say so.
Oh wait... he was already there... -
Actually... I would like to change my prior comment... I don't want to REMOVE them from the game... but these are the changes that I would love to see made to the current system...
1) Temp Powers are no longer classified as Recipes... they don't take up space in your Recipe storage and they don't flash as Recipes when one drops...
2) Temp Powers are non-craftable... rather they come to you fully formed... I understand they are basically there as another form of Influence dump so ... if you MUST... there can be an influence cost "activation fee" to change it from an inaccessible Temp Power to an accessible one... this fee only applies to the first time you use it
3) Instead of getting multiples of the same Temp Power... repeated drops count as ammo or "charges"... they simply stack on the same power giving it either more ammo (eg- bullets for your Revolver)... a longer "battery life" (eg- longer duration for Cryonite Armor)... or increased durability (eg- more uses for your Gabriel's Hammer)... When you get a drop for a temp power you already possess the notification will appear in your chat window but NOT as flash message in the world screen...
4) When you get a new Temp Power it will not appear automatically in your power tray... you must move it there manually... doing so for the first time will pop up the Activation Fee acceptance message (if the devs NEED to keep this as an influence dump)...
5) If a Temp Power is allowed to drop to zero charges/ammo/time then it disappears from the Temp Power list... subsequent drops will require a new Activation Fee for the power...
6) People will be able to buy/sell Temp Powers on the market just as they do now. -
Don't use them... wish they'd remove them from the game as Recipes and ONLY have them as Story Arc rewards...
-
Announcer: ...welcome back to the 33rd Annual Villainy Awards Show! Live (or very nearly so) from Grandville in the lovely Rogue Isles! And now... to present the prestigious Best Villainous Plot Award... Silver Mantis and Scirocco...
Scirocco: Thank you everyone... thank you... my goodness... er... badness... you look lovely tonight Mantis... perhaps you and I could go to dinner together after the show...?
Silver Mantis: No, thanks Scirocco... I'm a woman with a healthy... hmmm... "appetite"... I want a full meal... you would barely qualify as an appetizer...
Scirocco: .... charming....
Silver Mantis: And the nominees for Best Villainous Plot are... for The Corruption of Dark Astoria... Mot...
Scirocco: For The Death of Statesman... Darrin Wade...
Silver Mantis: For The Whoops... My Bad... Cap Au Diable Power Grid Meltdown Incident... Doctor Aeon...
Scirocco: For A Multitude of Evil Plots Too Subtle and Convoluted For Us to Count Much Less Identify And Name... the winner of the past 32 such awards... Lord Nemesis...
Silver Mantis: And the Naughty award goes to.... (rips envelope open with a spine)... Darrin Waaaa...
(Lights suddenly go out... seconds later they go back up again...)
Scirocco: Sorry about that folks... we apparently had a small technical problem... problem... problem... Mantis why don't you announce the winner of this incredibly important and illustrious award that obviously indicates the greatest, most intelligent villain of them all?
Silver Mantis: Searching Snide Non-Sequitor Sub-File.... File Not Found...
Scirocco: ... ch..ch..ch..ch.. charming...
Silver Mantis: And the award goes to... (holds up hand as though to read something but the envelope itself is three feet away on the floor)... Load Voice Modulation File: Pleased Suprise... Lord Nemesis!
Scirocco: Lord Nemesis could not be here tonight... or IS he?... so I will be accepting... taking... acquiring... stealing... pilfering... absconding... the award in his place...
Announcer: Stay tuned for more of the 33rd Annual Villainy Awards Show! Coming up... Best Personal Vengeance... Best Base Betrayal... and the Best Supporting Lackey awards!