Thanks for the review. I've started fixing some of the stuff you've pointed out, and the arc is looking much better already. Once I'm done with the changes I'll ask for a re-review. Now to explain some other things:
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Originally Posted by airhead
First mission introduction doesn't explain Dreamlord. Is he good, or evil? What's his purpose? To hold back the critters in "dreamworld" from entering our world? Or more? Also, is The Conduit still in my dream when he's talking to me? I think so, since he says he's intruded, but on the other hand, I can see him here.
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Without going into too much depth about what I was trying to accomplish with the dream setting I'll just say that for all intents and purposes the Conduit is coming to you in your dream, and asks you to go looking for his mentor or whatever we should call him - the Dreamlord - when you wake up. The Conduit is stuck in the dreamworld until the Dreamlord returns, and that is why he's asking for your help.
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The Accept string is the default, perhaps could be "Awaken and do ... whatever" - clarifying I'm still asleep. The send-off does clarify I'm still asleep.
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I don't quite understand this part, but I've altered all the acceptance strings now so it's probably a moot point.
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"My worst nightmare" arrives. He's so... not. Looks like a mid-level Crey tank. Perhaps you could rename him (Childhood Nightmare?). Or use a Storm Elemental (if abstract is okay). Even the Rikti chief mentalist (reflection version) might be scarier, especially if you color it nasty...
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"Your Worst Nightmare"'s info should say that he might not be your worst nightmare
ever but he's certainly the worst of the nightmares you are currently facing, or something like that.
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Once I enter the mission, a pop-up could explain The Conduit's connection to this abandoned office. Is he a bum here? He's not dressed like a bum.
Aside - can you add an aura resembling reflection-events to The Conduit? Since he's a dream world creation?
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The Conduit doesn't have a connection to the abandoned office. The office just happens to exist "on top of" the Dreamlord's palace in the dreamworld. You might think of it as the palace being a reflection of the office in a dream, with typical palatial splendor which we can't see because we are in the real world. We can however see the enemies who are in the dream version of the place, since the Dream Sand lets us interact with dream creatures even when we are awake.
The Conduit once used the Reflection Effect but it only seemed to be working when he was flying so I removed it. He's not a dream world "creation", he's a real person's dream-self, so making him look like one of the semi-real dream fragments didn't work so well for me either. I gave him a nice purple glow instead. Oh wait... you mean the contact version of the Conduit? Hmmm, yes, I might be able to use the Reflection Effect on him. I'll try it out.
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Perhaps The Conduit is an author's insert, who doesn't have reflection event aura, but for the sake of the story it'd be good for dreams-in-the-real-world to have that consistency.
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Not all dreams or dreamers are created equal so they don't all have to appear the same. The Conduit isn't the "author insert" in this arc, by the way; The Dreamlord is one of my characters on Virtue.
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It'd be best if you can create a custom group from all the level 41+ reflection events, so you rename the group. Not "Shadow Shard Reflections". Perhaps "Assorted Nightmares".
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It would if they weren't actually Shadow Shard Reflections, but they are.
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Great Clue - go bash 100+ carnies. We'll see how that works in AE.
Returning to The Conduit, he mentions Arcadia. I assume that's another name for "dreamland" but I don't think that was defined anywhere. Hopefully it's not from an mythos of another comic company.
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If another game company has used that name it's because they ripped it off from somewhere else. Arcadia is a particularly pastoral area in Greece, and I think it's been used as a name for various paradise-like places at least since the 17th century. Arcadia is the name of the Dreamlord's part of the dreamworld, his "country" so to speak. This is not explained but it's not that important to the story, as long as people realize that Arcadia is in the dream. I'm making a few of these things more clear in my new version of the arc.
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Morpheus Heights - is that Peregrine Island? Could say so.
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It's a residential area that I made up for this mission to take place in, similar to how we are sometimes sent on missions to board a train and go somewhere. Morpheus is of course the god of dreams in Greek mythology.
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Send-off message suggests "better men and women than me" have been lured by the Carnies. Nobody is better than me! I'm level 50! (Just being facetious, but perhaps avoid that comparison, since the player in this game is encouraged to feel like the best thing since sliced bread).
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And what better way to make you feel better than to prove your contact wrong by not falling for the Carnies' tricks? I don't know, I just like this phrase so I'm keeping it.
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The mission has loads of Carnies hanging around. There's no patrol/boss messages indicating what they're doing (okay, it's a semi-permanent street party, but no harm in reminding me of that). And for such a big map, it's very repetitive. Perhaps include some things happening here that aren't critical to completing the arc. Destructible or defendable objects, Battles with law enforcement, muggings, just variant animations, anything at all.
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Noted. I've added a bunch of bosses, patrols, hostages and a street battle already in the new version of this mission, and I'll probably add more stuff as I go along.
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Found the Dreamlord. Capitalize Carnies in his description. He's dancing with the Carnies - the only non-standard animation on the map.
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This was the only non-standard animation in order to make it easier for the player to locate the important spawn. I know how much everyone hates to search for hostages and glowies on outdoor maps.
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Carnies call him Lord Ego, supposedly his new name since his powers were stolen by "his old conduit". I presume then it's not The Conduit that I met. If it is, then this is confusing.
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Conrad is the
current Conduit. There have been others before him. Ego is the Dreamlord's name, but since this seemed confusing I've removed that from the new version and use Dreamlord all the time.
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Some good patrol text on entry, remind me of the Carnie's intentions.
Oh. It's a single-glowie mission. I think it's a medium map, which is worthy of a bit more than one glowie. Instead of just changing to a small map, could add more depth to the storyline here. Any other objectives at all. Even just a random captive plaything being indoctrinated into the Carnies should deter players from stealthing the whole thing. Otherwise, I'd suggest dropping this mission as uninteresting.
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Ok, this and the previous mission might seem "uninteresting" but what I wanted here was really just a couple of missions where people would have a choice of either beating up a lot of Carnies for xp and tickets, or the option to bypass them quickly by stealthing or rushing. I like to consider gameplay as well as story and personally I like missions where I can choose to fight or not as it suits me.
I have however made a few alterations to the warehouse mission in order to make things more interesting, and I'm planning a few more, so your observations here were most appreciated.
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So off to the finale. I think the armor concept is a little trite. It's described well as being non-standard, but just calling it armor is a bit pedestrian.
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*Shrug* It
is his armor. I don't know what else to call it. I have always called it that when I've played him.
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Considering the grandiose theme of the arc. Perhaps it manifests as armor, but could be Imagination, or Positive Thinking, or Dream Will (the power to influence your own dreams), or something. But whatever it is needs to be integral to the overall plot - why is the Dreamlord losing at this time, perhaps because of the armor?
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The Dreamlord is losing because his old Conduit has stolen his armor, which contains a lot of his power. The Conduit has also performed various rituals to drain the armor of said power in preparation for his final attack on the dreamworld. The armor still contains a little power that the Dreamlord desperately needs, most importantly it holds the magical power which allows the Dreamlord to return to the dream.
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Okay, that's weird. The Hedonist showed up as Level 47 EB (since I'm level 1 difficulty, it's an EB) but I'm level 50 - so he cons blue! Looks like a custom, so shouldn't be level-constrained. I've never seen anything like this.
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That
is weird. I've never seen anything like it either but I've not played this arc at level 50 yet. Perhaps it's because of the bugs which currently seem to affect the auto-sidekicking system. I don't really know what else it could be. The AV is actually Malaise with new colors.
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I found the Dreamlord. He appears to be already wearing his armor, but I guess there's no fixing that.
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You gave him the armor before he went back to the dreamworld and left a portal for you to follow through. The mission send-off text mentioned it. I've tried to make it more clear in my new version.
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The Hedonist has Shadow Shard allies. Another reason to fix the confusion on the Reflections guys' group name.
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Except that they really
are from the Shadow Shard. The Hedonist has spent some time there making friends and taking control over a small army of reflections. I interpret them as dream-like creatures which The Hedonist learned how to take control of. Or perhaps it's worse than that. Maybe Rularuu allowed the Hedonist to think that he was in control when he was actually doing Rularuu's work for him, by finding a way out of the Shadow Shard through the dreamworld. Either way, they really are Shadow Shard Reflections and Soldiers of Rularuu so I see no reason to change their group names.
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Since the AV was unusually low level spawn, I didn't have much trouble beating it.
Cheers, airhead
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Thanks again for the review. I'll let you know when the arc is ready for another go.