Sounds interesting. My arc is currently in limbo, as I'm waiting for issue 15 and its changes to republish my arc and fix its flaws. But once issue 15 drops, I'll be sure to come back and ask for your feedback.
Play my MA arcs!
Tracking Down Jack Ketch - ArcID #2701
Cat War! - ArcID #2788
I'd just like to take this chance to thank you again for the extremely helpful editing and general advice on how to keep the audience interested. The feedback I received (twice) allowed me to produce an arc that I am quite proud of.
As soon as issue 15 hits, I will also have another arc for you to review. It's the villainous sequel to the first one, but I need the feature that is going to be added that allows a glowie to be a triggered objective.
I encourage anyone else to take Airhead's offer and submit your arcs. I'm sure you will find the advice just as helpful as I did.
Where to now?
Check out all my guides and fiction pieces on my blog.
The MFing Warshade | The Last Rule of Tanking | The Got Dam Mastermind
Everything Dark Armor | The Softcap
don'T attempt to read tHis mEssaGe, And believe Me, it is not a codE.
The Superadine Withdrawal Blues @Null Geodesic Arc 205046
I saw this on CoHMissionReview.com and it sounded fun. I'll put an abridged review there.
Interesting premise. Odd that a Troll arc should be for levels 1-50 - I chose to play it with a level 12 dark/kinetic defender called Vegemite Kid - almost certain to have difficulty based on the description. But it's within Troll levels.
Nice contact. Sure, I'll help you out. Loved the send-off message!
For a humour arc, it sure is brutal. Invisible DEA agents constantly killing me in surprise attacks. Ambush on the Superadine (died). Bought a pair of wakies. Now I just need to find Jimmy. Couldn't get through the second floor (died). Made it past council, but not DEA (died). Made it to third floor! Ran out of wakies though, not good.
Oh oh! Extremely not good - I need to escort him back through the war zone. And despite being an EB, he doesn't get involved. Nonetheless, I managed to beat the Council and outrun the DEA, barely alive at each elevator. Only 4 missions to go...
Jimmy's going to Peregrine Island bank. Not good news, with me at level 12. But after vegemiting a few policemen, I get through to the vault. Jimmy's surrounded! I pull a policeman with a poorly aimed Vegemite blast. Two left. I take them out, and then the folks who appeared next, including Officer O'Malley. Then just as we're headed out, it's an 8-man ambush! Naturally, I have no hope in heck, so I just try to make some distance towards the door (died). Looks like a long slow siege coming up to get Jimmy out of this one. I stock up with 2 wakies, and a pile of greens. Ready to run, playing Chariots of Fire.
More patrols of 3, take one out. Then everything comes after me. I use all my greens just to get back to the front door, but I take a few with me. This is epic. I return with another full load of greens. Another patrol waiting for me at the door, I clean them up.
Dammit. I want that safe I can see just beyond Jimmy. I'll just get Jimmy out first. Mission Completed, I go back, clear out the patrol at the safe, and it's mine! All mine! I teleport out just as the safe's ambush arrives.
And we're off to party! I might have thought that would take place in Skyway or The Hollows, but it's Atlas Park.
The Reformed Trolls need descriptions. Wow! So cool! I'm in a mass battle that's actually skewed in my favour - for a moment. Then the dreaded DEA show up as I was writing that last sentence (died). I come back, outrun the DEA - very empty map! Doesn't bode well when it comes ambush time. DEA agents also need descriptions. Didn't get far (died). Their shoot-first, sneaky approach means they're just villains. "DEA Agent defeated Reformed Troll"!
Cleaned up another group of three, then made a hash of a three groups. Ran, barely made it back past some Reformed Trolls. Helped them a little from my place of hiding while they finished off the bad guys. Woo!
Rescued Jimmy, but the inevitable ambushes came (died). Finished off my Reformed Trolls too. But got my payback, and now Jimmy's also contributing! Fantastic. With Jimmy and a Reformed Caliban, we trashed the Council ambushes that followed Mephisto's demise.
Typo in mission 5 intro: wearhouse -> warehouse
Wow, my lame little defender beat Jimmy! Going toe-to-toe wasn't the answer (died) but after a lot of running around, he fell. Took out his Superadine too. Plenty heroic! Talk like troll!
I really enjoyed this. Nothing I'd change, 5-stars already, it's hard, but it's fun enough to weather those (running out of fingers...) 8 deaths.
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!
[ QUOTE ]
I've been doing feedback posts now for a little while, tacked onto threads as they appear from time to time in this part of the forum. Some involve arcs in their earliest stages, and might be described as editorials. Some are for arcs that have already had comprehensive editing, where hopefully I focus more on my experience of the plot.
I do edit/review according to my preferences (stories only!), and I'll abandon an arc rather than play something I don't like, or can't get through. If an arc can't score a 4+ from me (considering where I see its "potential"), then I give up, without voting. Imagine an amateur publisher, not an amateur critic. If I have any advice up to that point, I PM the author. Some of my previous feedback examples (that weren't purged) are listed below. My style does vary, but where appropriate I now tend to put typos in orange and timestamps in yellow. Other than that I hope I can keep it simple. Starting with my oldest efforts:
Arc 49801: The Prism: @Sooner
Arc 3326: The Portal Service: @Lazarus
Arc 58376: Dark Astoria Unleashed: @Midnight Rider
Arc 4643: Blowback: @Venture
Arc 64859: The Calling of the Cult: @Misho
Arc 69088: Last Caress pt.1: @Fukushu
Arc 195202: A Bad Hand from a Worse Dechs: @Dechskaison
Arc 209473: Standing Within the Mists: @Liberal Conspiracy
Arc 123675: The Lost Choir: @MrSquid
Arc 136959 / 141011: The Lost Choir: @MrSquid
Arc 1709: The Amulet of J'gara: @Lazarus
Arc 195202: A Bad Hand from a Worse Dechs: @DechsKaison (repeat)
Arc 182874: Time's Maelstrom: @Armory1
Arc 191775: How the Other Half Lives: @JKCarrier
Arc 92364: The Shattered Sapphire: @Sapphire Keeper
Arc 210267: To Serve Crey: @SDragon
Arc 221240: The Audition Part One: @MrCaptainMan
Arc 124319: The Shadow Rune of the Warlocks: @RedWarlock
Arc 4643: Blowback: @Venture (repeat)
Arc 4384: The Double-Edged Sword: @theHedoren
I'm currently looking for arcs that are "finished" to the best of the author's ability, and ready for initial editing ("looking for feedback", not "work in progress", not "final"). In most cases this means less than 20 votes so far. PM me with your arc number if you'd like me to take a look. You don't have to play my arcs, particularly if they don't interest you, but I also appreciate feedback. And if this post doesn't keep me utterly busy, then I'll continue to review ad hoc, as before.
Cheers, airhead
[/ QUOTE ]
While I don't have anything for you to review, I did want to take this opportunity to raise a glass and toast anyone who is willing to have their arc reviewed ... by an airhead. 
I love the title of your thread: Airheaded Reviews.
I wish, though, that since we have SO many reviewers at this point, that you would actually DO airheaded reviews ... i.e., review these arcs tongue in cheek. 
233720: A Close Encounter @Baler
My first requested review!
9:35: Collect arc.
The MA description is pretty generic: An intelligence gathering mission turns up some startling information. All Enemy Groups are listed as Custom Group so I don't learn anything more there. Perhaps look at adding some spice to this.
But it is looking interesting enough - one unique, and 3 small maps. Defeat-all in the second (small) mission. My contact is military but I don't recognize the uniform. Perhaps she could be from D.A.T.A. or G.I.F.T. or just an extension of police or other agency.
I'm off to check out a classified crash site. I assume this means Rikti Crash Site. Taking photos is assumed to not be my MO, for most players that would be true. I'm not entirely sure who "these clowns" will be.
9:38: enter mission 1
Ahh, it's an alien crash site. Perhaps indicate its unknown what crashed in the mission introduction.
I meet the custom military group. Cute, and incompetent.
Trooper's description indicates these guys belong to a Corporation - but I'm not sure which.
I've found a body bag, contents are not human!
body bag Clue: it's -> its ; extra terrestrial -> extraterrestrial
I find a crate as well, containing a control panel! The Clue doesn't mention the control panel, just the lettering on it. Probably add a little to the Clue, I'm curious what I might make of it. In the end, this "control panel" seems to be a red herring.
Found alien. Ahh, Trooper indicates he's working for "Eath For Humans" - and isn't thrilled about it.
Grunt says: We're just doing our job -> put punctuation on the end. Also for "nutjobs" comment.
The alien is interesting - not all-powerful, looks like a little part of an invading army! Nicely done. It's small too. Given its description, it's odd that I simply rescue it, and not take it along for interrogating.
But the alien's clue is confusing. Why do I think the mercenaries were being controlled? Shouldn't I also be taking photos of the alien, as I do the other clues?
And then I find the barrel, and get two clues, one for the barrel and one for completing the mission.
barrel Clue: it's -> its (in title and text)
many of the Clues need punctuation on end of text (even just a period).
Indeed, this has me curious!
9:54: Return to contact.
The return message sums up the experience nicely.
9:59: Enter mission 2.
The pop-up needs punctuation on the end.
I'm curious now that I find the powersuit, that the alien wasn't wearing one. Perhaps he'd been stripped of it, perhaps that can be explained in the last mission.
Trooper's comment: rendevous -> rendezvous
The Shipping Crates are small and brown. In this warehouse, they're extremely hard to spot. Perhaps use something that glows, or at least give a clue they're small and brown somewhere. Even if with the powersuit clue. Or say "wooden" in the nav. Half an hour to find one clickie on a small map is not fun.
Warehouse secured.
10:28pm: Return to contact
Nice personality with the mission introduction. looksee -> look-see
10:31pm: Enter mission 3.
Squaag: shocktroops -> shock troops
Computer files clue: uses acronym SIU, not sure who this is (presumably the group the contact belongs to).
"Aliens" seem to have an interesting mix of powers. Since I tend to mez my opponents, I'm not sure how they'd work against a scrapper.
And that tech I rescued sure was acting strangely! I find the last computer and clue.
Lab recon info: EfH guys are just pawns in what exactly? They're working for the "aliens" but it's not clear they're unhappy doing so.
10:40pm: Return to contact
Mission 4 intro: possiblity -> possibility
Note that my acceptance phrase is a little small-minded, perhaps I can act more heroically.
And here I go destroying stuff - any reason we don't like the Qald? Other than xenophobia?
10:42pm: Enter mission 4.
3 of the 4 objectives are in the first room. The fourth is just outside the elevator when I reach the second floor! Nice and short.
Okay, now someone has arrived and told me to "take me to your leader" (in his own way). In the fashion of classic B-grade alien movies, I guess I will.
I find the guy, who apologizes for his mistake. This kinda fits with the "aliens invading" presumption, they kind of were. Perhaps my contact could behave a little more xenophobically too, inferring invasion from fairly circumstantial evidence. And in popups I might even be skeptical, if the contact's attitude defies belief.
Unless of course this turns out to be a hoax, and they ARE invading...
Which could be a 5th mission, but I like it as it is.
10:55pm: Return to contact.
Nice final text. What exactly was the significance of my contribution here to the CoH? It ends a bit flat, perhaps because the contact says thanks at the beginning, not the end, of the final text.
The souvenir suggests I have some information I gathered. Sometimes souvenirs recap the adventure just completed, you might do that here. You could make it more grandiose, proclaiming how I united two dimensions, or somesuch. Or anything else more than just a copy of some data.
Overall, I think this arc has a solid structure and plot that doesn't need any major changes. That makes it a potential 4-star already. There's places things can be clarified, and perhaps some personalities (the Sq*'s, the contact) made a little more intense - you might model any of these on aspects of people you know who are "intense" in some way. I get the feeling the story isn't supposed to be deadly serious, so a little hammy might be okay. You could also add non-required objectives to any of the missions, to provide some more flavour/background of the "aliens", Earth for Humans, Eagle's Talon, or the SIU/contact. I think the people and places will need to become a bit more memorable to consistently get 5-starred; and I don't think you're that far off.
I enjoyed going through this a lot (excepting the glowie search and I'd be happy to go over it again if you upgrade it.
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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Wow, that's some fast service. Thanks very much for running my arc. You've given me some good food for thought. And found a few pesky spelling mistakes, here I thought I'd done pretty well finding them. As for the missing periods at the end of some sentences, that was on purpose. Didn't really feel they were necessary but I can see how they can stick out.
I do identify who the Major works for in her bio but it appears I'll have to add that into the first briefing.
Sorry you had trouble finding that crate. Do you play with sound on? I tend to use the sound of the glowies to help with finding those occasional hidden gems. 
And the powersuit is mentioned in the body bag clue from the first mission.
[ QUOTE ]
Note that my acceptance phrase is a little small-minded, perhaps I can act more heroically.
[/ QUOTE ]
It's meant to be more good-natured ribbing just like the previous "You'll be buying me more than coffee..." acceptance line.
Thanks again, I'll let you know when I've made the changes.
How to Survive a Robot Uprising, #12669, @Wall of Knight
My second request. This one has been around for a while, but hopefully the author is open to overhauling the arc (otherwise, no point in an editorial). "Running out of space" is never a valid excuse here, since there's always less important things that can be removed for the sake of a better story.
The contact is a box of bits called "/Hide". The name strikes me as something "programmer-y". Which makes it cute, but I'm already having to make large leaps of logic just to comprehend the contact's name. The mission entry text presumes I guessed it's a shapeshifter, I didn't. Needs text to somehow connect itself to Citadel, since I don't assume it follows immediately from the text in the Arc Description. In fact, the shapeshifter element overall is never properly explained, and may be irrelevant (if, say, /Hide is just a hologram).
The first mission introduction also assumes someone sent me here - as a hero I tend to travel as I see fit, answering to nobody. But I'm willing to admit I did come across this box of stuff.
The box of stuff isn't glowing nor transparent for me. I don't get that one.
Okay, so if the mission description is updated to highlight I'm working on behalf of one of Citadel's intel guys, I'd be in a much better position to continue.
The entry popup indicates I feel I'm in the right place, although I don't yet know what that might be at all.
The nav says "The loudest noises are this way". Again, this isn't what I expect from my nav text. "This way" would be forward, even if I've turned right around.
I found someone who needed rescuing, a hero from a group called "Shameless Self-Insertions". For those few who read the group name, this is blatant, breaks the fourth wall - perhaps "Heroes Fearlessly Inserting Themselves", would still be obvious, but could also be read as a hero group name.
My EB ally gives me speed boost. Some people don't like EB allies, others don't like speed boost. But its okay for me since I have psi attacks (in a robot arc, yeah...)
I'm encountering reflection robots (Zenth Mech Man and Zenith Hoverbot). In I15, you'll be able to change the description of critters. I'll assume they're not meant to be reflections, just bots that fit within the level range of the arc, and the descriptions will change at I15. Okay, so I beat a HVAS and the mission is over. That needs to flow from the nav text.
[Aside: I was so confused by the arc at this point that I contacted the author, who explained the direction it's supposed to take, hence my more specific suggestions above. Thanks author! I said a lot about the first mission, but the story runs smoothly from here. Get the first mission right, rule the world.]
In the second mission, the contact's lingo is getting a bit heavy, hard to read. Suggest changing th'ol' to the ol', and watcher to watch yer.
The nav text is much more practical here.
My mind-powered dude is doing okay using Mass Confuse. But now he has a partner, an Arachnos! Good that we can put our differences behind us. Briefly. I like this part a lot.
The patrol dialog is a lot of fun. References to all kinds of movie robots.
Beat up the robots. Pity the Arachnos couldn't betray me at the end.
The last sentence of the return message gets a bit hard to read, requires reading a few times. Perhaps eliminate some of the slang there.
M3 send-off, watcher -> watch yer ; first paragraph has a <br> in the middle of it ; interetin' -> interestin'
The nav shows "1 An unsecured laptop", will need to add Singular text for that one to make it look right. The exclamation point on the end of broadcast! looks strange followed by a comma, perhaps drop the !.
Malta vs Malta! Impressive massacre, won by Titans. I wonder, can you use Auto Turrets for your bot crew?
Zipped through to collect the glowies, everything seemed a bit preoccupied when I ran past.
The Intel from the Malta Group clue casts aspersions on /Hide because Crimson might be in China? That doesn't make him a bad referee. Perhaps think of another story here.
Into mission 4. Portal corp is truly the next logical next step, as that brings lots of robots with it!
Can't really tell who is killing who in the battles as they go quickly. Ahh, I caught up to one - the Virals are getting trashed by the Glitches. Perhaps that could also be covered in battle text (Virals / Glitches).
Okay, my ally is a PPD Quantum?! Are the Nictus somehow involved in this too? There's two of them, seems to be more than a coincidence. [By the end I realise that's a red herring]
Police-Chief Viral: carefully neutral -> controlled
And he went down VERY fast, thanks to Mass Confuse. But otherwise an impressive bad guy group. Glad they weren't hitting me. Didn't get time to even check his group name.
In mission 5, the accept says "Y/N", how do I choose N?
The droll comments about "another warehouse" could be removed to provide text space elsewhere.
Drone-controller has a nice description.
I leapt in, took out the two mainframes as everything arrived, ran on, rescued Energon as stuff continued arriving in waves. Worked out a lot of fun.
Into the last room, the sheer number of endurance-draining robots is making this unfun.
And then the big bad - a laptop in a box? Guarded by a regular dudes? That's it?
And as often happens, I miss the final return screen, I must have double-clicked it. Hopefully it's covered in the souvenir. I think it is, intriguing souvenir. Clears up a bunch of loose ends.
But as a hero, I am still left to ponder, what (if anything) did I accomplish here? If I've been tricked all along, will I be full of praise for this arc? (Answer should be obvious).
I think you need to be sure to have a basic story here that centres on the player (mostly true already), and make sure it can be understood by everyone, and enjoyed (as a hero). I think that is: Citadel's staff sends you after robots for a good cause. Everyone should understand that, and hopefully enjoy it - the ending is currently a bit of a downer (at least by the souvenir). Then you can complicate it with the background of the contact, the "dialect" of the contact, and add funny bits to it, so long as these do not detract from the basic story. This might require more than just proof reading, if the story doesn't provide a heroic experience on some level.
Good luck with this, I'll happily replay after rework if you like.
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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Ta much for the review, and thanks for catching those typoes- yeh, some of /Hide's dialogue was, indeed, typoes, not just his speech patterns (it shouldn't have been "interetin'", for one >.O).
Looks like the first mission needs a bit of re-working... might be a while before I can do it, but it's a good spot to start.
The EB ally is there so that the HVAS isn't a brick wall, mostly- he's not terribly high-damage (Grav/Kin), but he's sturdy enough to tank the final enemy for you.
Can't use Auto Turrets for my 'bot crew (and I don't think they're supposed to have any kind of AI, anyways). The Titans-on-Malta seemed like a logical consequence of what we know about the Titans ("A Titan Named Joe"), and even if you don't know that tidbit, watching Malta get butchered horribly is always a rewarding pastime 
Also, if Crimson is very definitely in China (which the clue was intended to establish), then who was it that /Hide sent you to talk to a mission or so ago? Hmm... maybe I should throw Crimson in as an ally, rather than the Arachnos... I'll have to think on that a bit, it would probably make that clue more of a "...!?!" moment.
The PPD Quantums are there as reps of the PPD, not the Peacebringers (covered by /Hide's dialogue before you go in).
As to the ending, I did try to make sure that there were a fair number of hints that something wasn't quite kosher with /Hide; and you were up against a highly intelligent baddie; at least, that's how I was trying to write it, so maybe you wouldn't get a clean win- you did stop the titular Robot Uprising, though (maybe I should emphasize that a bit more... hmm...).
Also, once I have some more slots (and maybe a bit more time, yeesh >.<, I'm planning on writing a sequel to this one.
So, lesse (this may wind up waiting for i15, just so I can hit it all at once, rather than having to do it piecemeal and fight with the sharp space limitations)-
<ul type="square">[*]rework the intro text.[*]fix the first mission[*]get the typoes[*]replace the Reflections with their intended Rogue Robot counterparts[*]clarify that you most definitely saw Crimson, but apparently he's in China[/list]That sounding like a decent starting list of fixes?
Thanks again for the review- I'd like to get this one up to snuff before I get distracted by other projects (like the half-finished villain arc I'm working on sporadically, or the sequel to this one).
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
Heya Te,
Your fixes should also address the hero's potential reaction to being duped all along, but otherwise that list is a good start. Note that the extra space in I15 also comes with some cool new gadgets, like custom robot descriptions and even colors, so the extra space doesn't last long...
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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From an airhead to a (galactic) hobo,
> I wish ... that you would actually DO airheaded reviews
> ... i.e., review these arcs tongue in cheek.
I thought about that, long and hard, at least, long and hard on the airhead scale. I could write reviews in character, the character having the superpower of radiating gullibility (and being subject to his own power as well). Defeats would come from asinine conversations, that might start, "Hey, would you mind lying on the floor?", and trips to the hospital would often result from misinterpretation of villains whose dialog came first. I will get to this someday, meanwhile I'll try to be a little bit more useful.
As soon as you have an arc ready though, I'll get straight on to providing some useless feedback! It's a great idea.
Cheers, Airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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I want to post a quick, unsolicited testimonial for Airheaded Editorials.
I asked Airhead to run my MArc and he came up with a lot of good points for me to ponder as well as finding pesky typos and spelling mistakes that I missed. I made some changes based on his review and I think the story is better for it.
If you want a second set of eyes to check over a story you wouldl't go wrong asking for an Airheaded Editorial
Thanks Airhead
First a quick run through 2292. The arc has had over a hundred runs, and is averaging 4, so probably isn't really worth a review. However the author has had some negative feedback about the arc being confusing, which suggests it may be unconventional. So I'll run through it quickly anyway in case I learn something myself.
The contact is a little irritating to begin with, but it's a standard contact, and this may be his MO. He's also apparently got a shaman spirit in him, but that doesn't seem to explain the attitude. The contact is also scared by idea of the Circle having demons, so despite his uncanny perceptions, he doesn't seem to be too familiar with CoT.
I meet the first dragon, Rynn. It mentions a place I've never heard of, and a person apparently important to that place. Strikes me as a blatant player-insert - easily fixed by explaining everything in the context of what I might know (very little at the beginning). If the place and PM are important, then I don't know that yet. Which means I could discount the description as useless, when it's really not.
Player is a little better. While the name is possibly confusing (sort of meta) it's fine by me. The unfamiliar place is referred to now as a 'realm', so no doubt the lizards are not from these parts.
Lost Guitarist's Words clue: migrane -> migraine
Officer Blake's group is "YCPD" which means nothing to me at this time (some obscure kind of police department, no doubt).
Clues to this point suggest the lizards were summoned from an other-place concert. Then Rollister's clue confirms this. I'm supposed to know the name Rollister from somewhere, the Positron task force, at this level that's not a huge assumption (although I've done the TF and forgot that name).
I find the last dragon and I'm done. Really, no confusion at all so far.
On exit it says something about a classic guitar, that I seem to have. I'd overlooked the clue that explains that, I think I must have gotten it on exit.
Drummer's Take clue has a last sentence that makes no sense to me.
The mission completed, the contact sends me onwards to keep investigating stuff. All making sense so far.
"The air reeks of cordite and C-4": Check Wikipedia "cordite" (third paragraph) to determine whether you still want to say this
The Malta was a shock, as much as the Assault Bot. I'm in Oranbega...
Another Malta calls me a MHI. There's also a Weedkiller operative. All canon, but potentially confusing to someone who hasn't played a lot. I forget what Weedkiller related to, I think killing superhumans (but this arc is about dragons and possibly demons). I haven't yet got a clue how demon/dragon summoning is relevant to the Malta's government machinations.
I search around the thorn cave for a while, but find no "Survivor". I have to give up.
I guess things are just starting to get confusing about the plot, up til now it was just slight miscommunication. If I could find the Survivor, perhaps everything will start to make sense. But I can't, I'm stuck.
Regards, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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This next one has 3 reviews, it's a freshie, called A Night at the Movies by Claws and Effect.
The description, "You are being sent to investigate a strange case.", doesn't grab me - what's strange about it, without giving too much away? Why would another player single out this arc, just from the description? (although I'm not sure how many people actually find arcs that way). At least the title is intriguing.
Ahh, Malaise is my contact. He has a suitably arrogant attitude. I guess at this time he's being a good guy.
Mission 1 send-off: occuring -> occurring ; Independance -> Independence
I'm bamboozled why "my presence [might] come as enough of a surprise to prevent a reality shift" - what does any of that mean? Are we sure it's a reality shifting being, and why would my presence make a difference when the Freedom Phalanx failed earlier?
entry popup: soundstage -> sound stage
8:20pm: Enter mission 1
Woah, tiny trashcan glowie on this moderately large map - luckily it was in plain sight.
Okay, I run around, find Manticore, and free him. He suggests he doesn't know me - but I did his Task Force! An ambush comes after I've freed Manticore, seems a bit gratuitous since the mission is already over (unless I hadn't found the glowie yet).
So! The bad guys (whoever they are) are collecting superpowered folks.
Regarding the movie script clue, I'm a little confused by the double-negative in the last sentence. Are you saying the script didn't preclude my arrival?
8:35pm: Return to contact
Return pop-up does a great job of summarising clues so far, in case I'm a typical player (doesn't read everything).
Return info suggests I have surprised someone, I don't see/know how. I do understand how I've managed to profile the culprit somehow.
Not sure if you could have more clear evidence that there has to be a superbeing individual behind this, and that I surprised him somehow.
script-writers -> scriptwriter's
Mission 2 intro - Ad Lib Generator is a nice touch. Although the science behind this is just a little too loose to comprehend.
M2 send-off: far reaching -> far-reaching
8:40pm: Enter mission 2
Okay, so I'm saving the Freedom Phalanx. Only, this is the first of many times I've done this where I actually feel like the plot supports doing so.
Synapse's comments were golden. Positron simply asks for some help, which doesn't give quite the same in-a-movie context.
Citadel seems confused too - like he's not following the script very well? I guess I liked the Synapse reactions, was hoping others might be in a similar vein.
Odd, Positron has chosen to follow me around, but isn't contributing at all.
I'm guessing Back Alley Brawler is behaving like he's in some kind of action movie, but it's not really clear.
Statesman's comments are on track.
9:24pm: Return to contact.
Exit pop-up: realeasing -> releasing
My contact says the powers came from a fourteen year old. I don't see how this was deduced (and it's best if the player figures it out, to keep him central). It wasn't in any of the clues, and I didn't see it from the dialog.
Return msg: occured -> occurred
Mission 3 intro: he;s -> he's
So Positron figured it all out. Hm. Is it possible, somehow, to weave into the last mission that I figured it out? I know, I'm selfish, but it'd be cool...
Accept message says I'll meet with Manticore, not completely clear why - perhaps "I'll team with Manticore on this one."
And then in the send-off the contact explains this to me, like it wasn't my idea...
9:31pm: enter mission 3
I'm not sure what the pop-up on entry is supposed to mean.
Freed Numina, Manticore took most of the hits and it took forever to heal him back up, but it wasn't until I beat up her last henchman that it acknowledged I'd released Numina. Could change it to boss-only.
Psyche appears after Numina, but it's nice they're in the same last room.
Psyche's dialog is awesome. I wonder if the author's real name is Steven
9:47am: Return to contact.
Finale. Beat the big bad! Dialog is all good, let's go. Oh - you could reword to say that the Freedom Pholks can't go since Steven may have already written their script (kinda where you were going I think, just could be clearer).
Pop-up on entry is spot on.
Well that was fast. Steven's not as tough as the Freedom Pholks. He could be a bit more spoilt-brat, perhaps.
And we've won. The return message, last sentence, I don't know where that's coming from - looking back at my notes, it was probably the attitude on the first page. But that attitude was dropped soon after.
Generally, some details need to be smoother, but I had no problem at all understanding the basic plot, and it's grand enough to involve the major heroes without reducing the player to a spectator. Battles were well chosen, you got the right ally, and the right heroes-as-bad-guys for the battles to be soloable with still some challenge. With some further clarity, you have a 4.5 star arc already. With some more movie-world and in-character humour, a steady 5.
Thanks! //airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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Back to Baler (and then another shot at DeviousMe's arc)
Baler's revamped his arc since the review above. Most typos are fixed (just trailing periods missing in clues and pop-ups), and the contact's origin is clearer. The new arc description is great. It really doesn't say any more than before, but it says it much more interestingly! I ran this one again for the cafeteria access.
The initial discussion with the contact still doesn't clarify what kind of crash site this is, not essential, but easily confused with the Rikti Crash Site.
The alien clue in the first mission suggests the alien disappears, but he's still standing there... I don't know if the MA can demonstrate this. Perhaps there's something in the list of Animations that could apply on Rescue (or else have him run off?).
The second mission glowie search remains the same. The last one was high on top of crates, and doesn't make any particular noise or glow. The rest of the missions go pretty quickly, the story ties together well. And the new souvenir is awesome!
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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[ QUOTE ]
The alien clue in the first mission suggests the alien disappears, but he's still standing there... I don't know if the MA can demonstrate this. Perhaps there's something in the list of Animations that could apply on Rescue (or else have him run off?).
[/ QUOTE ]
I did change the freed alien animation to kneel like the mission 3 lab tech who does run away. Maybe the outdoor map is responsible by having no exit?
[ QUOTE ]
The second mission glowie search remains the same. The last one was high on top of crates, and doesn't make any particular noise or glow.
[/ QUOTE ]
I know it has the default glowie hum. I tried to find a bigger crate but couldn't find them in the Ticket Vendor's unlockable inventory list. Can anyone point me in the right direction?
Thanks for the re-run. I can't promise I'll track down all those missing periods but I'll try.
[ QUOTE ]
I search around the thorn cave for a while, but find no "Survivor". I have to give up.
I guess things are just starting to get confusing about the plot, up til now it was just slight miscommunication. If I could find the Survivor, perhaps everything will start to make sense. But I can't, I'm stuck.
[/ QUOTE ]
That's...strange. There are only 2 points a rescue captive detail can spawn on the entire map, and that's the first waterfall room. Gonna have to check this for code bugs, apparently. Well, thanks for the look.
[ QUOTE ]
"The air reeks of cordite and C-4": Check Wikipedia "cordite" (third paragraph) to determine whether you still want to say this
[/ QUOTE ]
Yes, I know and I do. It's an easter egg that references this mission. So does the patrol's dialogue.
[ QUOTE ]
Drummer's Take clue has a last sentence that makes no sense to me.
[/ QUOTE ]
Thank you.
[ QUOTE ]
It mentions a place I've never heard of, and a person apparently important to that place. Strikes me as a blatant player-insert
[/ QUOTE ]
Ah-hah! Finally! Thank you so much, now I finally know where that comes from. I don't understand why, but now I finally see what. Thanks again.
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
While my review thread has gone quiet, it's only because there's been other places to put my reviews:
Arc 227331: The Consequences of War Pt.1: @Dalghryn (repeated later)
Arc 227331: The Consequences of War Pt.1: @Dalghryn (re-review) (5)
Arc 4829: Chains of Blood: @Venture (not shown, 4)
Arc 232910: Dimensional Rift Detected!: @Killo (not shown, 3)
Arc 229358: Release the Dragon: @Nebs (5)
Arc 126582: Two Households Alike: @Venture (5)
Arc 241496: The Consequences of War Pt.2: @Dalghryn (PM'ed edits) (not shown, 5)
Arc 244484: If you teach a man to make a fish: @Heronator (5)
Arc 1388: Celebrity Kidnapping: @PW (not shown, 5)
Arc 248963: Catalyst Task Force: @AmericanAngel-Pete (4)
Arc 250142: Lockdown: @Mandu (5)
Arc 30821: A Clean Break: @Crimson Racer (not shown, 4)
Arc 47143: The Galactic Protectorate - 01: @Unknown Hero (5)
I'm still here, still looking for things to look at per my original post.
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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Here's a review upon request.
Horsemen Chronicles, #195149, @Citizen Razor 2, Heroic, 5 missions
Outcasts, Hellions, Skulls, Clockwork, Custom Group... the last being an easier version of the Vahzilok? Actually, I think it's a subset.
It's a low-level arc. I am to be a Horseman, according to the arc description. Why? Do I get a horse?
The contact explains this to me better. Note the contact could have a description in Story Settings, that I would access from Ask about this contact. The contact is part of a group, that would like me to join. They have a valid cause, but nothing urgent is indicated. I might join another group temporarily, but the duration here is open-ended. I join anyway for the sake of review. The send-off gives me a more urgent task.
M1 send-off: being -> that is
M1 entry pop-up: adventuare -> adventure
Who is the "them", referred to in my entry pop-up?
I find a corpse, among the Vahz. It's a Water Department dude, but there's no Clue. I find another, identical. And another. And another. Why were these guys down here, apparently unprotected, if my contact already knew this sewer has long been infested with Vahz?
Then another one causes big-bad to spawn - right on top of me! I ran. His name was Omega. My contact's name is Alpha, making this seem strange - he's supposedly a bad guy? His description doesn't help much, but it does acknowledge that. I beat him down and mission completed.
Clues clarify things for me (including that I missed Omega taking the ID badge from a corpse, since he spawned on top of me at that same moment).
I return to my contact, there's still no clarity whether Alpha is related to Omega. The Greek letter correlation is too striking.
M1 return: Last sentence missing a period
Okay, so Omega is leading a bunch of Skulls into Oranbega... this should be chaos. There's suggestion that Omega is getting help, since he knows where Oranbega is - but couldn't that help have equally come from someone in the Praetoria dimension? Oranbega may be there, since the worlds are very similar.
So I'm off to get Omega from Oranbega, who is already known to teleport out on defeat. What am I doing differently this time that might allow me to catch him?
Entry pop-up says "at least it's only the Skulls" - if I'm in Oranbega, I can bet I might encounter Circle of Thorns here. Indeed, I did. The pop-up misrepresents me.
Now then, Omega's ally is Tarsis, who is willing to rat on the CoT in exchange for "an entire world of souls". CoT are reknowned for their unwillingness to defect (Akarist is known as "the first traitor Oranbega has ever had in aeons"). Omega is an other-dimensional being who does not appear to be a demon. This seems extremely out of character for Tarsis.
Another clickie releases Omega again. This time, not on top of me. I find Omega, beat him up, and surprise, surprise, he teleports out on defeat. Is my contact dumb or is he assuming I am?
Returning to my contact, he's simply stumped, and that's it. So we move on to Mission 3.
My contact now has been given access by Synapse to the database regarding Tyrant's dimension (where Omega came from). Granted access - isn't Alpha working for the group put in place by Freedom Phalanx (includes Synapse) specifically to monitor Tyrant's dimension? So why wouldn't the Freedom Phalanx have provided that data from the beginning? This makes no sense.
Anyway, I'm off to beat on Omega again. I'm to grab the artifact first - an artifact that could be a bandana, or a Water Dept. ID, or more likely, ANYTHING else. I don't think my objective is meaningful.
On arrival (pop-up) it says there are several spots the artifact might be, and it's likely buried. This makes no sense, how can I know where to dig? When I find the "disturbed dirt" this makes sense, but at the time of the pop-up, I haven't seen that. Nonetheless, my omniscience delivers me the artifact ahead of Omega this time. I run around and find Omega, so I can waste the batteries on his emergency teleporter one more time. Seems I hit the right clickie on the second one, with many more I luckily didn't need to try.
So my next mission is to return the key since the baddie has taken hostages. Wait, that's rule number 1 - don't negotiate with extra-dimensional terrorists! I think this mission objective needs work, I just don't want to proceed as it is. I proceed for the purpose of review.
Okay, so my entry pop-up says I did exactly what I refuse to do. Not happy. Of course the terrorist didn't comply with the negotiation, and has three hostages still. My contact is a moron. Apparently I am too, as I gave up the key.
So Omega is working with Hellions now. What was wrong with the Skulls? What power of blind obedience does this guy have? He's got a bow and arrows. Perhaps he's Cupid.
Two hostages say weird stuff, about finding her magazines, about him forgetting a date. I don't see any relevance to the plot? Perhaps the magazines were in the same locker that apparently the Badge of Honour was taken from or something. Vague.
Okay, so the obtuse choice of artifacts ties to the fact that five different energy fields protect Paragon City, tied to the origins of power. And these day-to-day items were specifically needed to beat these fields. Quite a stretch, even in a super-hero world. And I've never heard of such fields. It's quite something to suddenly know about now.
So now I go to beat up on Omega again, maybe his emergency teleporter beacon has finally run out of batteries. Oh. Apparently Alpha thinks he might be able to intercept the beacon.
So I find the artifact, which activates some destructibles, that in turn leads to a Clockwork leader, then to Omega. The spawns are all nicely aligned towards the back of the map, so no harm in using a sequence for this play-through.
Oh, missed that clue - apparently "while I was fighting Crackhammer" my pocket was picked by Clockwork and the artifact was given to the baddie. I'm not just foolish, and gullible, but I'm clueless too now.
Omega claims I hit the wrong portal devices, which perhaps matches the related Clue (why is this relevant?). And he's a counterpart to someone in this reality (gee, I wonder if it's Alpha). At least the teleport didn't happen. Eventually I find the last Clockwork that is part of Omega's spawn and ... I get another objective. Perhaps Omega could be set as "Boss only to complete".
So I have to find a computer. I REALLY hope it's here in this last room. Nope, gotta search the whole map again. Ugh.
Oh, completing Omega objective tells me I failed to stop the five artifacts going to Praetoria, yet my current objective is to stop the artifacts going to Praetoria. Doesn't make sense.
Clue Omega (Part V): artifcat -> artifact
And I can't find the computer that comes next, after searching the map three times, top to bottom to top. I have to quit.
Overall, I'm not sure where to start with fixing this. The problems could be fixed one by one, but there will still be the overall concept of five fields of protection, that can be defeated by five everyday objects, that this whole story hinges upon. The plot makes little sense, and the enemy group choices don't often seem to make sense. Why do they all collude with Omega?
Hopefully some of the details will be of help in any case.
//airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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Most of my arcs have been out quite a while, but my Starfare and Pirate's Quest arcs have 8 and 6 ratings respectively. I'd appreciate it if you could take a look at either one.
131430 Starfare: First Contact
178774 Tales of Croatoa: A Rose By Any Other Name ( 2009 MA Best In-Canon Arc ) ( 2009 Player Awards - Best Serious Arc )
Hi Hercules. All your arcs are flagged as 'Final'. Are you looking for feedback?
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!
Thanks for the review. It is much appreciated.
[ QUOTE ]
the last being an easier version of the Vahzilok? Actually, I think it's a subset.
[/ QUOTE ]
Kinda. The Vahzilok usually spawn in groups of 4. Putting them in a custom group makes them spawn in 3s instead of 4s. Somebody pointed out that even though I was doing it to make the Vahzilok slightly easier, it could've been constructed as hiding them in a custom group to fool players. So I put the note to let people know that Vahzilok is in the arc.
[ QUOTE ]
The contact explains this to me better. Note the contact could have a description in Story Settings, that I would access from Ask about this contact.
[/ QUOTE ]
I didn't know that. I had already given my character a bio in the character creation process. I thought it'd show up in the "Ask About the Contact" part automatically. Apparently it doesn't. Thanks for letting me know. Alpha's bio has been added.
All the typos you pointed out have been corrected. Thanks for catching them.
[ QUOTE ]
Why were these guys down here, apparently unprotected, if my contact already knew this sewer has long been infested with Vahz?
[/ QUOTE ]
Same reason why the Vahz never seem to run out of victims. People are stupid. The contact didn't know about the victims, just that the sewers were full of Vahzilok.
[ QUOTE ]
His name was Omega. My contact's name is Alpha, making this seem strange - he's supposedly a bad guy? His description doesn't help much, but it does acknowledge that.
[/ QUOTE ]
An earlier reviewer had a HUGE issue with me providing too much information about Omega. He felt that it ruined the storyline for him. So I decided to just leave everything vague until the end as to not ruin the story.
[ QUOTE ]
So I'm off to get Omega from Oranbega, who is already known to teleport out on defeat. What am I doing differently this time that might allow me to catch him?
[/ QUOTE ]
You're helping Alpha study the teleportation technology that Omega uses. I added a line to indicate that.
[ QUOTE ]
Entry pop-up says "at least it's only the Skulls" - if I'm in Oranbega, I can bet I might encounter Circle of Thorns here. Indeed, I did. The pop-up misrepresents me.
[/ QUOTE ]
I didn't mean it as in "the Skulls are the only mobs in the area." I meant it as in "The Skulls are much easier to deal with than the Vahzilok." As in "Oh, it's only you. I thought it was somebody much worse."
[ QUOTE ]
My contact now has been given access by Synapse to the database regarding Tyrant's dimension (where Omega came from). Granted access - isn't Alpha working for the group put in place by Freedom Phalanx (includes Synapse) specifically to monitor Tyrant's dimension? So why wouldn't the Freedom Phalanx have provided that data from the beginning? This makes no sense.
[/ QUOTE ]
Good point. I removed that mention.
[ QUOTE ]
Two hostages say weird stuff, about finding her magazines, about him forgetting a date. I don't see any relevance to the plot?
[/ QUOTE ]
The magazine line was left over from an earlier objective that I took out. I left it in anyway because I thought the line was funny. As for the guy forgetting the date -- when you first find him, he says "But I thought today was Casual Friday!" and he's wearing a horrible Hawaiian shirt.
[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps Omega could be set as "Boss only to complete".
[/ QUOTE ]
He's been set to "Boss only to complete" on all the missions where he's a required objective, including this one.
[ QUOTE ]
And I can't find the computer that comes next, after searching the map three times, top to bottom to top. I have to quit.
[/ QUOTE ]
I think adding that objective borked the mission. Although I've been able to complete it without any problem when I've ran though it, at least three people (including you) have told me they were unable to complete the final mission. I simply removed it. I wanted to give the player a sense of victory at the end by preventing the artifacts from being sent. Ultimately I decided to go back to my original ending, which had the artifacts being sent to Praetoria but at least you captured Omega.
Ultimately, it looks as if the story didn't really work for you. Ah well. That's all right. Your feedback did help me in some areas, so thanks for them.
Play my MA arcs!
Tracking Down Jack Ketch - ArcID #2701
Cat War! - ArcID #2788
Heyas Airhead-
"How to Survive a Robot Uprising" is... I think... fixed. At least, I think I took care of most of the bugaboos- it should read a little more cleanly now, and I think I tightened the plot a little (although the reflection robots are still glowing and transparent, *sigh*... can't level baddies up, just down 
Mind you, they do have the correct text now, at least.)
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
How to Survive a Robot Uprising, 12669, @Wall of Knight
This is just a quick re-review of the beginning of an arc from page 1 of this thread. It used to start a bit rough, but now I see it's popular, with 29 voters, averaging 4 stars. So seems to be on track, I'll do this quickly.
The contact makes more sense now, helped considerably by the "Ask about the contact" information - which begs to be read, considering the contact is a box of spare parts.
The mission first paragraph is bold and yellow. I suggest italic and yellow might be easier to read, yet still stand out as a prologue.
The contact says "things in here" - which immediately brings to mind "things in the box", since that's been the topic. Suggest change to "things in this warehouse"
I just realized the "glowing and transparency" reference on the first page is possibly lampshading the poor reflection-event robots later on. Makes sense in retrospect, but if I'm reading this the first time, hopefully I can just brush this off as something to figure out sooner or later. Perhaps mention the "overheated robots" (or something similar if they're not overheating).
The baddies have descriptions that clarify the issue immediately - regular enemy robots achieving sentience. I guess the reflection events could be a side-effect of this - perhaps you could update the description of the affects bots only to indicate that "This robot is obviously computing at far beyond their manufacturer's intentions, owing to the heat haze radiating from it." Cheap, yeah, fails to explain the transparency, but meh.
My ally is still an EB (with me on level 1 difficulty), and I still put up with that since I'm the robot-fighting psi-guy. But he does tend to kill-steal. Perhaps he could be a Boss.
The Rikti Drone and Hoverbot bug is making this seizure-inducing. Hopefully that'll be fixed soon.
You could update the description of the Rikti Drones.
This time through, I understand and trust my contact more than last time. Yet he still asks on the second mission if I want to check his credentials - this makes me suspicious of him. That's probably what you want.
Two missions in, and I'll quit there, before I face the Malta (yeah, I'm cheap). The changes are looking great! This is much, much smoother now. Good luck getting voters! The arc has more votes than any of mine now.
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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Thanks for the re-run, Airhead, although it's a pity you stopped there. I'd be more than a little curious to see what you thought of the revamped third mission and the edited souvenir.
Oh, and as an aside, the reason it's only Council robots (well, aside from the 'boss') in the first mission is that it's a reference to this enemy group, part of an odd little sub-arc that you can get in the early 30s in City of Heroes. It's a lot of fun, and one that I remember playing through nearly four years ago.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head." Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates
MA Arcs: #12285, "Small Fears", #106553, "Trollbane", #12669, "How to Survive a Robot Uprising"
I've been doing feedback posts now for a little while, tacked onto threads as they appear from time to time in this part of the forum. Some involve arcs in their earliest stages, and might be described as editorials. Some are for arcs that have already had comprehensive editing, where hopefully I focus more on my experience of the plot.
I do edit/review according to my preferences (stories only!), and I'll abandon an arc rather than play something I don't like, or can't get through. If an arc can't score a 4+ from me (considering where I see its "potential"), then I give up, without voting. Imagine an amateur publisher, not an amateur critic. If I have any advice up to that point, I PM the author. Some of my previous feedback examples (that weren't purged) are listed below. My style does vary, but where appropriate I now tend to put typos in orange and timestamps in yellow. Other than that I hope I can keep it simple. Starting with my oldest efforts:
Arc 49801: The Prism: @Sooner (4)
Arc 3326: The Portal Service: @Lazarus (4)
Arc 58376: Dark Astoria Unleashed: @Midnight Rider (4)
Arc 4643: Blowback: @Venture (repeated later)
Arc 64859: The Calling of the Cult: @Misho (unrated heading to 4)
Arc 69088: Last Caress pt.1: @Fukushu (5)
Arc 195202: A Bad Hand from a Worse Dechs: @Dechskaison (repeated later)
Arc 209473: Standing Within the Mists: @Liberal Conspiracy (5)
Arc 123675: The Lost Choir: @MrSquid (unrated, 4)
Arc 136959 / 141011: The Lost Choir: @MrSquid (not shown, 4 & 4)
Arc 1709: The Amulet of J'gara: @Lazarus (5)
Arc 195202: A Bad Hand from a Worse Dechs: @DechsKaison (repeat) (5)
Arc 182874: Time's Maelstrom: @Armory1 (5)
Arc 191775: How the Other Half Lives: @JKCarrier (not shown, 4)
Arc 92364: The Shattered Sapphire: @Sapphire Keeper (not shown, 4)
Arc 210267: To Serve Crey: @SDragon (5)
Arc 221240: The Audition Part One: @MrCaptainMan (5)
Arc 124319: The Shadow Rune of the Warlocks: @RedWarlock (5)
Arc 4643: Blowback: @Venture (repeat) (5)
Arc 4384: The Double-Edged Sword: @theHedoren (not shown, 4)
I'm currently looking for arcs that are "finished" to the best of the author's ability, and ready for initial editing ("looking for feedback", not "work in progress", not "final"). In most cases this means less than 20 votes so far. PM me with your arc number if you'd like me to take a look. You don't have to play my arcs, particularly if they don't interest you, but I also appreciate feedback. And if this post doesn't keep me utterly busy, then I'll continue to review ad hoc, as before.
Cheers, airhead
Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
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