Airheaded Editorials

It's been a while since I added to this thread. I have been reviewing a lot through PMs, and most recently I had a family holiday. I will update shortly with reviews I did in other threads, and I think I have another (3rd or 4th pass) review request in my PMbox. Meanwhile:

Arc 329000, Backwards Day, @GlaziusF

Given the non-linear timeline of this arc, I can only really review it as a train of thought, and hope that you can see the context of where I was, when I describe something. Indeed, a "Glazius-style review". Overall however it was an excellent story, convoluted, but holding together, just. Some bits are perhaps a little too convoluted (or might be in error), see details below. Having everything seem cryptic was tiring for me towards the end of the third mission. It'd be nice if some of the in-mission stuff started to make sense by then. I like having a lot of absurdity and spurious logic, but I sense that some of it might not be deliberate, and having too much doesn't let me feel a part of what is going on.

But this is definitely a 5-star potential arc, for concept, and the details are excellent. Hopefully my commentary below helps polish it up.

Cheers, airhead


It's villainous! Looks like a big one - 3 medium maps, and 2 unique maps. Level range is consistently 25-30. The second (medium-sized) map is a Defeat All, which worries me a little bit, but that shouldn't be fatal. It does feature the Slag Golems, who I feel are much underutilized. The arc description is intriguing, but also illogical - unless I assume Diviner Maros is talking to me from the future. How, why, hopefully my contact will explain. The description also calls it a "goon arc for Shevat". No clue at all what that means. Elite bosses, and enemies with custom powers. Shouldn't be too hard, I hope.

Indeed, my contact is Diviner Maros. And his description explains all the confusion I had with the arc description (apart from the "Shevat" reference).

The 5-mission story starts, intriguingly, at Part 5. Maros' outline is suitably muddled (I love muddled arcs); my likely musings are well presented in a different color and require me to scroll down. That's all great.
Weird info in the send-off text. Clues will be numbered M1 to M5 - but I think the first mission is M5. However my first Clue (before I enter the mission) is called M1. Shouldn't the order be reversed, in line with the "Part 5" that Maros outlined?
M1) A bronze pendant clue: loop. is -> loop, is (comma)
Also, the send-off says I should bug Maros before heading into any mission. Not sure why that needs to be told to me in "out of character" symbols (double-brackets). I'd expect the story logic to encourage my return to the contact.

At this point I'm already extremely intrigued by the story. Not sure why it's villainous yet, though.

I find a Superadine Lab, with a description that indicates "I'm pretty sure there isn't a pendant in there" - hang on. I'm carrying a pendant, it's in my pre-mission clue. I get the feeling it might be meant to be an end-of-mission clue.
I search a pile. It says "someone else got the coral hearts". Why would I expect to find coral hearts there? [this character hasn't encountered slag golems before].
Cool battle text! (I guess I didn't know Devouring Earth and Slag Golems could talk).
Okay, so there's Freakshow, Family, Devouring Earth, and mostly Slag Golems. Wait... what? I destroy the comm device and figure out the Freaks' plan. Seems a bit irrelevant down here.
I find the pendant, time finds a new equilibrium, and then there's just one pendant. All is good, although I'm not sure if I was given the first pendant (I must have, since I haven't travelled in time yet, only Maros might have). It's description resembles a viewglass for seeing into the near past or future.
No problem with the medium sized map there.
Exit pop-up says my pendant is now less crushed and melted. The original was misshapen (okay, crushed) but only verdigrised (eroded), not melted. Suggest changing 'melted' to 'eroded'.
The return message, yellow text, indicates I think I've beaten the person behind this (the Timekeeper?) in the future. But where is that revealed? Aren't the Timekeeper's activities beyond Maros' reach, such that he might only guess whether he was/will be defeated? Overall, I think the yellow text is giving me too much credit for figuring out Maros' chronobabble.

The second mission begins extra-cryptic, but I listen anyway. Hopefully the keywords used will make sense soon enough.
Part 4 (second mission) intro: Maros's -> Maros'
The send-off text: I have to read it twice to get much out of it. Normally, that'd be a bad thing. But for a deliberately muddled arc, it's a good thing.
The entry pop-up says "it's not his (Maros') own". His own civilization? Or home?
Blood-stone Jimmy's description: perhaps "Wonder what he wants to see in the future" should be "Wonder why he wants to see into the future"
The mission completed when I defeated Maros, despite the requirement to do a ritual. Perhaps Maros' "Michael Bay" Well is supposed to be a required objective? But then I read the clue from Maros, and see I did the ritual there over his body. Perhaps this could be indicated in the defeated-boss text.
I haven't met any creatures out of time yet, but since Maros could be out of sync I may be yet to meet those.
Good exit pop-up.
Return message indicates I met the creatures from the times that never were. Those Circle of Thornses? Did they merely appear to be Circle of Thorns? I don't understand.
Return message is titled: Part Four: Return of the Long Now. But the return message also indicates I'm probably off to steal the Long Now in the next mission. Is that deliberately confused? Doesn't even seem to make absurd sense. In any case, my pendant resembles a Loupe after the first mission. I guess this is simply Maros giving me orders in the wrong order.

Third mission intro suggests (in yellow) that I've met the Maros that doesn't know me, because 10,000 years dropped off his voice. But wait - I am talking to a Maros who does know me, although he might have me rescue a Maros who doesn't. Why would I observe the change in Contact-Maros' voice? It doesn't sound like a logical deduction.

I'm in a building full of Devouring Earth, Coralax, Freakshow, Arachnos - all of group "Undone Futures". I can understand (sort of) why there might be such a medley here, but why are they working together? Couldn't they just be different but homogeneous villain groups?
I find an ally, who suggests we have a common interest. But what interest is that? No reason why the Freak needs to be cryptic.
This map, unlike the others so far, feels too big. There's lots of mobs of the same critters over and over. Often they have dialogue, but it doesn't seem to help further the plot.
Ooh. I've never seen this map. Interesting head office room. That goes outside. That is huge. Searching, searching... and no map to help me.
I lose my ally. When we get back together he says "Wow it worked again. This must be what the first guy who took Excelsior felt like!". I don't get this at all.
I find Maros in the end. His description is so cryptic, I wonder if it's a default description for a character in some other story?
But thank goodness it's over. It took a while to find the roof where Maros was.
The return pop-up is cryptic. I remember everything that failed? What is that supposed to mean? As far as I'm aware, I'm going forward normally in time, it's Maros who is incongruent.

4th mission, "Part Two", send-off msg: did Maros ever talk about creatures that looked like static holes in reality? I don't think he did. It's okay if Maros makes no sense, that's his charm, but my musings to myself (yellow text) should make sense.
I had to take a break and sleep at this point. When I came back, I'd already selected the mission, so I got the busy message. The busy message goes a fair way to explaining what's going on - but many players won't encounter this! I'm not sure if only the leader can see the busy message, but in any case, most people don't look for it. Hopefully this isn't the only place that the odd mix of critters is explained.
Splintered Instant and Frozen Moment are very well described!
4syte's description takes the liberty of assuming my character fought beside a certain person during the Rikti War. It doesn't fit my own character's background, since he only started being a hero in July of 2008.
4syte's behavior post-caudron is awesome! I wondered if he was just spouting rubbish. I guess not. On the other hand, I hope I find out soon why this happened.
Again I am wondering why I am looking for a loupe when I think I have a loupe (that is also a pendant).But then again, this has happened before, and my pendant got updated... so I guess it's Maros-logical.
Foresight description: Generaly -> Generally (incidentally, good description)
Hrm. Major backtracking here. I hope it's worth it. Well, it wasn't really, no new critters along the way.
Foresight's Research clue indicates I should use the pendant and loupe together. But I've been using the pendant as a kind of loupe anyway. Perhaps indicate they're both loupes, of a kind. I really thought I was going to just have my pendant time-merge with the loupe, like happened with the two pendants.
Thanks to having read the busy message (by pure luck) I found this mission less cryptic than previous ones.
Return text indicates I'll be going into the foundry again, but this time I'll be prepared... I'm not sure I'm entirely prepared. I have a new viewing gadget, but no more of a clue what I'll need to do.

Fifth mission... and the contact is asking me to return to him when I am ready. That's usually the kind of thing said in a return text, but it's Maros, and he's always out of sync, so I trust that's working as intended.
Having learned my lesson, I check the Busy text. Again, it's full of useful information. Perhaps my yellow colored internal musings in earlier missions could have suggested I ply Maros for more information, even while busy with something else... just to get people to look there.
Nice pop-up on entry! But when I hit OK on it, I leave the mission. Ugh. Going back in again...
Eerie, empty map. Soon encountering the Snarls of Time. It looks like quite a big CoT maps for my finale - I just hope I don't have to hunt any glowies.
Nice decoy and its description.
M5) An Augmented Pendant clue: perhpaps -> perhaps
Okay, I collect 3 allies. Looks like I have to retrace much of the map! I get to the room with red crystals, and the allies get stuck. Repeatedly. In range of the red crystals. I spend ten minutes convincing them to follow me, and trying to avoid the red crystals. Not fun.
But we eventually find Timekeeper close to the front. The allies make short work of him.
The contact-Maros has appeared too! Very cool.

And then the souvenir attempts to clarify all that has come before. With a bit more logic than Maros. Just a bit. Good effort.

One of the best arcs I've played. A gem in the rough.

Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!

Ahh, thanks Bubbawheat. I guess I needed to be cannier. Perhaps it could be made more obvious, although I can't think of a way right now. I'd put it down to my Russian Flu, but then I'd get quarantined.

Another review: Arc 323332, Trick or Treat, @Werpan

This at my third time through this arc, previous reviews sent by PM. It has improved a lot with every visit. Yet I found typos I missed twice before. Sorry about that.
It's just three maps, a heroic short story, set in Croatoa. I'm going after "more than the usual ghosts", who "mean trouble". There are 4 arcs with "Trick or Treat" in the title, this is the newest one. Level range is 20-54, suitable for encountering the odd Elite Boss mentioned in the warning.

I meet Aulay Catherwood, a contemporary of Percy Winkley in the Midnight Squad. He doesn't have Percy's track record of getting taken hostage. Instead, he features an Irish background and a know-it-all grandmother (who apparently knows me, mysterious). Cool. So I'm off to rescue some trick-or-treaters, plying their costumes in an abandoned office building used to host this annual event.

Immediately the mission nav text tells me I'm to defeat Liadan. I don't know why, or who that is, no doubt it's part of "investigating the office building". Perhaps it could be "Search for troublemakers".
The well-described custom ghosts remind me of jelly babies, for some reason. Very bright colors, for ghosts.
With the change since last version to have "find information" instead of assuming "find scroll" in the nav text, now the altar should also just be "You search the altar", not "You search the altar for the old scroll" (since I don't know yet I'm chasing a scroll).
Just an idea, since you have a Viking clue and a Clown clue, perhaps you could have a Genie clue too.
I return to the contact.

I'm off to stop the Specters from making a portal. After my last arc review, I've learned to test every busy message.
The description of the Stone Tablet Clue could be in past tense - since I only get it after destroying the tablet.
I rescue, defeat and destroy, and it's back to the contact.

The final mission, and I take on the big baddie. He's a perfect foil for me, resistant to mez, and healing pretty fast. I beat him - twice - using several inspirations and most of my accolade powers. He seems perfectly balanced for me - the warnings to bring friends would be quite appropriate for many heroes. I defeat the portal, and it's back to the contact.

The arc is pretty simple. The plot is straightforward, the gameplay is solid, the detail is thorough. The souvenir is quite small. I'd rate this a 4 except that I had a great time taking on the big baddie. This might vary for other archetypes, but for me it was a good challenge. So I rated it a 5.

Cheers, airhead

Typos:
Genie's description: you can remove the word 'here' - she's either just here, or just trying to score some chocolate.
Liadan's description: and has few -> and there are few
Mission 1 Exit pop-up: seems lot less -> seems a lot less
Mission 2 introduction: contruction -> construction

Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!

Clarifying: You will not review if the arc is final?

Nothing new here, just providing links to my reviews in other threads to simplify the Rotten CoHmatos project.

Arc 255895: Future's End, @Justice Blues (5)
Arc 253991: Splintered Shields, @Venture (5)
Arc 275741: Peacemoon's All-Star Challenge, @Peacemoon, (challenge, not story, not rated)
Arc 292449: The Shadow of Eibhon, @Photonstorm (5)
Arc 67335: Teen Phalanx Forever, @PW (4 - could not complete in three tries)
Arc 296884: A Show of Hands, @Lazarus (5)
Arc 15095: Check... and Mate, @ARH (I failed to solo this team mission: no vote, to be fair)
Arc 294363: Learning Curve (3)
Arc 177513: Un braquage Or-normes, @Kupun (5)
Arc 125715: Dungeoncleaners!, @Pep_Cat (5)
Arc 129029: Holy Moses, @Intelect (3)
Arc 304290: Galactic Protectorate - 05: @Unknown Hero (4)
Arc 307732: Uninvited, @Lazarillo (5)
Arc 15976: Glory Days, @Megajoule (5)
Arc 163967: Rider's Ribs Restaurant Rescue, @Zamuel (5)

I'm still accepting arcs to review. It's a good time to polish up ahead of the US Resident Arc Awards and the Player Arc Awards.

Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!

It sure has been a while since I put a review in this thread directly. And so I defect back, with the in-theme arc:

Arc 351727, Hammer and Sickle of Paragon City, by @Tubbius

14 plays and 5-starred so far. 5 missions, but all small maps aside from one unique map. No defeat-all. Level 30-54. 5th Column and Crey. Looks like an easy play. After some mildly interesting entry-way massacres with my toon set equivalent to 8 heroes, I scale back to 2, with bosses. No AVs or EBs come with this arc. Crey Tanks can be pretty boring to solo at the top level, but allowing for bosses provides some Paragon Protectors.

The contact is "The Professor". He has an interesting profile. It sounds almost as though he is writing the story as we go along, a Gaiman-esque storyteller's story. Well, since it's a professor and not a novelist, perhaps a journal article. Unfortunately, I didn't see this sustained beyond the contact's description and the mission-send-off.

A quick and interesting introduction to Hammer and Sickle, and off I go to find them. They're AWOL. I found Hammer, after exploring most of the map. Somehow, I overlooked him, despite the map being very small. I didn't mind that at all, but the silence was deafening. Hammer's guards are the only ones who speak.

Hammer says that Toxin 'must pay for what he had done with my ally'. The Clue could explain this a little further My character would like to know more, to consider a suitable fate for Toxin. Perhaps there could also be a comment on why Hammer is here (it seems like he's searching for Sickle, but The Professor's intro seemed to suggest they came here together).
Hammer had an AI-driven habit of sitting back and watching. Since he's a boss, that's probably a good thing. But he probably needs to stay 'Boss' to be a credible hero.
I found a computer I can't use, so often the case with chained glowies. But in hindsight, I could have gathered the information within at any time. I find Toxin next, and beat him up. 'Sickle is mine', he says. Now I can go back to the computer.
I search the computer for information about Toxin. Not sure why I wasn't searching for information about Sickle. Sickle gets forgotten for a little while at this point. I would like to be reminded, if I'm not pursuing Sickle, then how might my alternate plan lead me to him.

In mission 2, Hammer clobbered Toxin. My goodie-goodie hero doesn't approve. Perhaps if I knew more about his crimes against Sickle, or others.
I found some "Chemical Warfare Files", but they sound more like "Biological Warfare Files", being frozen diseases. Within the Nuclear/Chemical/Biological array of WMDs.
I like the touch that I get to leave a lasting impression on Toxin's mind. But then I recover the ammo. From a person's memories. How exactly do I get to take them OUT of AE? At least I got to learn where Toxin got his powers. Umm... I'd be far more interested to know where Sickle is.
A random idea, since Toxin's been messed with, that last mission could be a bit more weird/psychedelic if a couple of Rularuu or other weirdness patrols the thoughts in his head.
Upon my return, The Professor doesn't specifically say that he analysed the ammo outside of Toxin's head, and 'interacting with memories didn't change a thing' (except that Toxin apparently now thinks I was responsible for what happened to him at Crey?). Perhaps that ammo in there could be something I just went to look at, not suggesting I collected it.

The next mission is called "Chemistry 101", perhaps it could be Biochemistry.
Now, I'm looking for "a list of chemicals" (send-off message) but I'm looking for A big barrel. So they're already mixed? Why use a list? The barrel turns out to be empty. But it still suggests it should contain "an assortment of toxic chemicals". Perhaps it would make more sense if the glowie was a group of barrels or gas cylinders.
Tovarisch works for 5th Column, has "unknown" ties to Hammer and Sickle. Unknown? So why mention them in his description? But hopefully Tov knows something about Sickle. Shouldn't that have been my goal inside Toxin's head?

Next mission. Sounds like I'm getting help from the Council - Pistola, "a former U.S. fighting machine, and one of Uncle Sam's finest". Perhaps "was one of Uncle Sam's", since he's now a merc for Council.
This mission has me... not looking for Sickle. I'm stopping a ship. Manuel is a cool contributor here, I like what you did with him. Perhaps his t-shirt under the jacket could use the Council logo, but that's optional, since he's freelance.

Finally, it seems I'm going to go after Sickle. I'm not sure why I knew he'd be at the end of all this. When I return from that mission, I am "Granted safe passage back to The Professor". Not sure why I need that, I'm a superhero.
"They've put her over this particular warehouse" -> "They've put her in charge of this particular warehouse" ?
I found another glowie that's not ready to glow yet. In this case, it makes a little more sense as I might not have known what I was looking at among those chemicals.
Hammer mostly hung back, as he was wont to do earlier. Then we got close to Sickle. Hammer ran off, around a corner, and finished Sickle off before I got to see him. Er, her. I think. I quickly find an antivenom, and perhaps that'll fix the maul-sized hole in her head.

Overall, it's definitely a heroic mission, although the objective seems to be confused, between Sickle and some Council operations. I think I'd feel more heroic if I had seen Sickle, but I don't blame you for Hammer's weird behaviour. I think it could run a lot more heroically, with some minor logic fixes and more empathy along the way for Sickle, just by making text changes. Hopefully the comments above help. It's an arc that plays well, with good characters, just needs a little more feeling. 5-star potential.

Cheers, airhead

Arc: 379017: Outbroken See all your old friends in the Outbreak Tutorial sequel!
Arc: Coming Soon: The Incarnate Shadow Shard of Fire and Ice Mender Rednem needs you!
Massively.com opinion poll: Please Help Save CoH!

There was a HUGE post right here.

Now there is not.

I spent the time between 1:50 and 4:15 AM getting the arc updated per these suggestions and some alterations of my own.

Here's hoping that all makes for more interesting, more exciting play!

Airhead, should you wish to give it a rerun to see what it's like adjusted, be my guest, although I'm certainly not demanding it. Thank you for your considerable input already, and take care.

--Tubbius