Coulomb2

The full review is in my Pro Payne thread, but for my second arc for February I did...

Small Fears (#12285, 5 stars)

Summary: Play it! It's great!

Yeah, I know, it's short. But check out the full review if you want more detail...

Congratulations on a well deserved Dev's Choice! I still remember playing this one very early in Pro Payne's career, and it was an excellent, excellent arc!

As promised for February, I’m going to take a second look at…

Shadows of Grime Alley (replay, Arc ID#144416, 5 stars)

Commentary along the way:
I must say, right off the bat, the improvements are really helping. It’s obvious effort’s been made to clean up some errors in the text, and the whole thing just feels like it flows better – some of that may be the fact I’m playing it a second time, but I really do think the author’s efforts to put some more polish on the arc are showing.

Oops! After rescuing Sara, I knew there was the body of a dead button man I was supposed to be looking for (but that was optional). So I rescue Mike, and the mission ends. I deliberately search for a bodybag glowie, find it, and exit the mission. Nuts! I’d forgotten there were *probably* two glowies – one triggered to each rescue, and I was just never “clued in” to that second one since rescuing Mike was the last thing I did before mission complete.

It’s actually not a big deal at all – the way everything is written, none of the clues are at all inconsistent if you didn’t find one or both bodies.

Nitpick: I *think* you might want to consider reordering the “Dead body” clues to be near the bottom (?) of the list (in the editor). I’m not totally sure, but I think that’ll shuffle them to appear below the clues Mike and Sara give you, but still above the “end of mission” clue. It’s a very minor ordering thing that, just on a whim, might make the clues seem more organized. Still, that kind of thing is always a crapshoot, especially when dealing with an outdoor map. Thought I’d mention it, but it’s really not a big deal at all (hence, ‘nitpick’).

In the second mission, Verelli’s clue still sounds rather awkward … maybe rewrite to make it a bit clearer: “Verelli believes the Gat from 4 years ago was Wayne Tomason, *not* his murdered father Tommy returned from the grave.” It’d also be better to clarify that “Wayne died a bit later, so Verelli doesn’t know whose acting as ‘The Gat’ this time.” – just kind of clarifies things a bit. Of course, you’d probably need to pare down the first part of the clue somewhat to accommodate the extra text.

(To be fair, the warehouse “end of mission clue” really clears up any ambiguity from Verelli’s clue, so my argument isn’t so much that Verelli’s clue is “bad” so much as a bit of an additional rewrite to further clarify it would still be helpful, albeit a bit tricky with the text limit on in-mission clues.)

You know what else would be a neat addition? A few “flavor clues” of crates of superadine for you to “get off the streets.” Not really directly relevant to the story, but helps to add atmosphere (given that Stacy even says the Family like to store ‘dyne in this warehouse). The clue could even mention that it’s been “quite some time since you were an active part of Paragon’s war on drugs, but it still feels good to remove this stuff from the streets.”

Wow … I’m impressed, the story’s flowing a *lot* better IMO, and seems a lot more polished! Very good job!

Nitpick: In the fourth mission, IMO, I think the explanation behind the “mooks” in the mission is much better, but I do think the mob descriptions are actually a bit *too* explicit about them being Arachnos posing mob goons working for the Gat. Perhaps something more like this (modified to taste, of course):

“This man looks like a common street thug in the Gat’s employ, but something doesn’t seem quite right. His weapons actually seem like the kinds of things Arachnos arms its operatives with… could these guys be Arachnos agents in disguise?”

If you *really* want to impress with attention to detail, for the next mission (after you’ve figured out what’s going on at the end of mission four) you could even create a second “faction” of Gat followers that look just like this one, but have different descriptions making it clear you now know they’re really just disguised Arachnos. (It’s actually pretty easy – you just edit the mobs, alter their descriptions, and save them under a different filename to create a duplicate with a different definition.)

The mission end “pop up” seems a bit confused – the Arachnos ambush at the end really made it seem like I was just defeating a “Gat decoy”, but the “pop up” makes it seem like I still think that was the actual Gat.

Nice touch! The mugger who killed Tompson was a member of the Lost, and is now Riktified – he wants to put an end to the Gat once and for all.

…the Gat-computer actually doesn’t have any text for the “countdown” bar … a shame because the text for the other clickies has been pretty amusing so far…

Likes: The arc has been significantly improved – just about everything has gotten some polish, and it really shows. It’s very clear the author has put in a significant amount of work into tweaking the arc, and the payoff is a much better version of the arc. This time around it felt like the typos and awkward phrasing was kept to a bare minimum, the story elements flowed very well, and made a lot of sense, and the Arachnos angle was inserted into the story in a much more natural way.

The clues along the way – especially the end of mission summaries – were very helpful. The fact that I’d pretty much figured out most of what they were talking about by the time I was reading them was a good indicator that the story was clear and easy to follow, but I still very much appreciated them as confirmation that I *was* following what was happening.

Dislikes: Beyond the nitpicks I mentioned before, a minor inconsistency with an end of mission pop-up, and a few suggestions for way to even further polish the arc, none, really.

Overall: If anything, this arc is now an even better homage to the Batman story, with a dark (and interesting) twist. I enjoyed it in its current form. Five stars.

Next on my agenda is a play and review of Small Fears. While I don’t have time for that today, I plan on working on it tomorrow (if time permits) and also Thursday (for sure).

Although I’m counting it as my second arc for, since Small Fears has a stronger connection to my old Pro Payne project, I intend on posting the review there instead (once it’s ready) – I will post a brief summary here too, though.

This change in policy is good to know. It sounds like if I need to petition behavior, I should automatically highlight and copy the body of the petition so that I can paste it into the tell when the GM asks me to repeat what I just got finished typing.

Account #1 (Main account): D
Account #2: I
Accounts #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, and #8: Each is F.

If you've got a huge pile of Astrals, the super inspirations work very, very well too. Buy enough super-reds to get to the damage cap twice.

Summon in my lore pets. Hit my tier 9 (ironically, not for the massive defense boost, which I don't actually need, but for the massive recovery boost, so I don't have to worry about running out of end). Eat enough super-reds to get to the damage cap. Repeat after they wear off. GM's usually dead by the time the second stack wears off.

Also, putting a defensive set on a custom and selecting powers to give them more than 70% resistance to any one particular type of damage is going to earn you hate whenever somebody whose primary attacks use that damage type tries out your arc.

Alrighty, time for January’s arcs. By the way, I do want to acknowledge that I intend to do a replay of Fantastic Foe’s “Shadows of Grime Alley” arc, and I’m also going to take another look at Te Chamelion’s “Small Fears” arc, but I do like to go at least a month before re-playing an arc.

Cat, It’s What’s for Dinner (Arc #530511)
Very funny and entertaining arc. 5 stars.

Commentary along the way…
Aww, I wanted to be Task Force Azzwhuppin’…

(And Recluse needs a description)

…So far, each mission I’m laughing harder than the last. I think I almost choked on my water what Alley Cat rattled off the names of the rest of the Freedom Furlanks. This is pretty dang funny.

In the mission three sendoff, when Von Grun is telling me what happened, he mentions the temporal disruption sent me into ‘this’ timeline where catgirls are the dominant species. I *think* in his explanation, ‘this’ is referring to the mission I *just* came from, and now I’ve returned to the present of the cat universe, instead of my own. It’s just a little unclear if I’m right about that. It *might* help for Von Grun to refer to it as ‘a’ timeline where catgirls are dominant, and mention that I returned to the present in that very same timeline. Definitely a take it or leave it sort of suggestion.

For some odd reason, it felt like ROBO-KITTY should more resemble Luminary than Nightstar. In any case, the humor is still really doing it for me – this is one of the most entertaining arcs I’ve played in a long time.

Aww … Viking Kitty didn’t rez the way Valkyrie does…

The glowie is a bit odd – why would Positron, Synapse, and Aurora still be ‘normal’ in this alternate timeline? Also, it was kind of a shame Ms. Libertail didn’t have any dialog past her openers.

The debrief does refer to her as Ms. Liberty, rather than Libertail.

…There was a *slight* feel that the ‘joke coffers’ were running a bit dry by the last mission; nothing serious, but the first three-forths is so packed with some genuinely funny stuff, that I would encourage you to add tidbits here and there (especially to the last mission) as you think of them.

Overall: Very entertaining arc that’s just chock full of humor that really worked well for me. Highly recommended, especially if you’ve played the Lord Recluse Strike Force. Easily 5 stars.

And for the second arc:

The Clockwork Angel (Arc #534326)
Good story and a lot of potential, but needs tweaking to make it really good (lots of details to follow). 3 stars (felt *just* below where I'd give it 4); didn't rate it in game (as mentioned before, I'm happy to give it 4 stars in game, *or* if the author makes tweaks and'd like me to look at it again *then* rate it, *or* both ... 4 stars for now, but up it to 5 stars after tweaking.)

Running commentary:
Right off the bat… IMO would be best to make the lower levels for the missions more consistent when possible. Not a deal breaker, but the arc looks more polished that way.

Well okay … but what exactly am I testing? Okay … at least that ‘hole’ in what I know is acknowledged, although it’d be a bit better, I think, to actually have her mention what’s in the mission pop-up in her send-off text instead.

Bluebolt Psi Clue (mission one): “Awesome, isn’t it.” Should be “Awesome, it’s it?”

Bluebolt Psi really shouldn’t be an Elite Boss … I’d go as low as making the ‘ally’ version of her a Lieutenant, which isn’t all that far off from a blaster-type hero’s hit points and damage at this level, and will keep her from utterly dominating fights. There was little point for me to even be there. And if, as I suspect, she’s eventually going to get usurped and taken over by the clockwork, it’s not like the idea of her becoming ‘supercharged’ couldn’t explain why she’d become a much higher rank than when fighting alongside me. Besides, the whole setup implies my contact is continually working to improve her capabilities by drawing on combat intelligence from each mission. That provides a perfectly natural explanation for the robot to get stronger in later missions. (Heck, if she’s going to be an ally for more than one mission, you could even start her as a ‘minion’ and upgrade from there to show the effects the ‘improvements’ are having.)

Ah see? And in the debriefing she even refers to Psi needing repairs – but Elite Boss Psi wasn’t even injured in any noticeable way – she was just too powerful.

The last sentence in the mission three briefing needs a rewrite – it doesn’t make sense as is.

Hmm … as explained, it makes it sound like the Clockwork King is just angry that Psi is controlled in the same way that he controls his minions, but I see (potentially) two issues with that:

First, CWK simply being angry about Psi operating on a similar principle to his minions seems a rather weak motivation, IMO. To be honest, I’d explain it more as “when turned on and controlling Bluebolt Psi, the Psionic Amplifier appears to be at least partially interfering with the Clockwork King’s direct control over his minion. He sees this interference as an attempt to “usurp” his throne.”

Also, and other might want to chime in because I might be wrong – but in the early game lore, the Clockwork King is not actively aware it is his psychic abilities that actually control his minions. He’s actually a very gifted engineer who *happens* to be a powerful psychic (I believe) – and as a result, he “thinks” his minions are build on sound robotic principles, and is not consciously aware of the fact that his designs shouldn’t really work, and that he’s actually controlling them psychically. So it’s very likely he’s aware that *something* is interfering with his control over his minions, but isn’t actively aware of exactly what the source of interference is, or *why* it is interfering…

(For the record, though, I have no problem with DATA knowing the King’s secret – at this stage in the game, I can easily buy that DATA agents know what’s really going on, and the King hasn’t quite figured out yet that his army of robots is psychically powered and controlled, rather than actual working robots.)

As a case in point, I actually think that rather than Clockwork King taking direct control over Psi (and literally speaking through her), that her suddenly acting like a normally ‘programmed’ Clockwork minion would be more faithful to how the Clockwork really work. The contact tries to take control and then “*Bzzt* Override Protocol. Fealty re-aligned to Clockwork King.” And then maybe follow ups like “*Bzzzt* Clockwork Angel engaging hero!” … and so on. The King is taking over Bluebolt psychically, but actually believes it is his robots that have located and reprogrammed her, and so his control manifests more like “reprogramming.”

The final mission was straightforward, although it did seem a bit anticlimactic; in a way, it feels kind of like the story is ‘over’ with mission three and mission four is just tying up a loose end. You might consider finding a way to have Bluebolt Psi “survive” mission three, and actually have her as the “Clockwork Angel” bringing the amplifier to the Clockwork King. She’s actually got the amplifier on her person, and defeating her allows me to acquire it. Perhaps even set the mission up so as the Clockwork are rampaging around, you need to “Defeat the three clockwork guardians before the Clockwork Angel arrives on the scene.” And a few optional rescues of heroes and the innocent to give people scouring the outdoor map things to do as they search for the guardians. Even tie patrols to the guardian’s defeats to give the feeling of more and more clockwork arriving on the scene as you progress.

Overall: In general, the missions are straightforward and well done (except, as mentioned, the last one seems anticlimactic and could really use some sprucing up). I like the idea behind the basic plot, but think some rewriting to make it a little more faithful to the game lore can only be an improvement. Toning down any allies isn’t a bad move (as mentioned). And another thing to seriously consider: I noticed a lot of mission details as simple repeats. For example, you only ‘programmed’ one patrol detail for the mission, and set it to have five copies, or something similar. You can really make your arcs and missions more engaging if you take full advantage of the fact missions can have a *lot* of details, and actually make five (for example) separate patrol details, each with slightly different dialog. A lot of MArcers really appreciate those little added touches.

One other thing that I do honestly think is stronger than just a nitpick: the Yamara Clan (or whatever they were) really just doesn’t seem to have any plot-relevant purpose to the story. I have no idea if they’re a cameo of one of your own characters, or what, but I would strongly suggest that either they need to be far more strongly tied into the story, or removed entirely.

Kind of a tough call on how to officially “rate” it. Good basic story, consistent story elements (even if, to some extent, they could be tweaked to match lore better), good mission flow on the upside. Some editing to catch typos and a few grammar errors, overpowered ally, some details that could use tweaking, and a stronger final mission as suggested improvements. My honest feeling is that it is *just* shy of what it’d need for me to give it 4 stars as an “official” rating. Even one improvement (tweak to match lore better, sprucing up the final mission, etc) would be more than enough for me to think of it as least least 4 stars, and, well, I wouldn’t hesitate to give it 5 stars with several of the improvements listed. I’ll leave it unrated in game.

Played through two missions with DE (level 30 and 31). Both Herders and Fungoids were spawning their pets normally.

But on that subject ... does anyone remember way back when Herders and Fungoids actually summoned swarms, and the Devoured actually summoned swarms in sets of two? It's been a *long* time since I've seen them do that.

Also important to consider:

For Experienced (the five bars), if you're schedule is such that you don't have enough time to ever play the character long enough to use up all the Patrol XP you're getting from being logged out, using Experienced isn't really a help. I *do* sometimes run into that with 40+ characters. If the characters were in the 20s or 30s, I've got enough time in one session to play through my 'normal' Patrol XP, and then 5 bars of experienced. If I'm 45, I might get through two bars of Patrol XP, then have to wait 2 days before I can log on and play that character again. In that case, Experienced isn't helping you at all.

The XP Booster doesn't suffer from that problem.