And Now A Message From Our Sponsors...

So, if heroes are spending all their time out fighting the bad guys, and most of the signature Villains are standing around giving out missions and doing the contact thing... just exactly how do they manage to pay the bills?

Product endorsement, of course!

The big name heroes and villains took a page from the professional athletes' book and started lending their names and faces to various products and brand names.

Here are a few advertisements you could expect to see on Paragon television stations and in magazines:

* Ghost Widow: Magazine page of her face. Although just as pure-white pale as always it looks like her upper lip, normally black as sin, has disappeared entirely. The caption: Got Milk?

* Synapse: "Hello, my name is Synapse and I run... I run a LOT... heck, on an average day I can cover more than 500 miles easy... when I finally slow down at the end of the day only ONE detergent is strong enough to get the stank out of MY sweatsocks..."

* Capt Mako: "Sometimes even a shark's stomach can take a beating. When an enemy disagrees with me even after I've eaten him... I reach for that little pink bottle..."

* Positron: "Making an appearance to save the day is only half the battle. The way you look when you get there is just as important. When I want to really impress the bad guys I use Turtle Wax...."

* Golden Roller: "I didn't believe it... but they were right... one call saved me 15% on my car insurance..."

* Swan: "I began to realize what a mistake an all-white costume was after my first sewer-mission... I was the laughing stock of the super-set... they began to call me dirty-duck... then I discovered Chlorox bleach..."

* Wretch: "Hooked on phonix am work for me!"

* Back Alley Brawler: "I used to be embarassed all the time by blown out pants or shirts that split and tore if I even sneezed too hard. Then I discovered Atlas' Big and Tall Store. Now, to the disappointment of ladies all over the city, I can keep my assets consistently covered."

* Lord Nemesis: "Amazon dot com... the ONLY place that has even more plots than I do..."

* Foreshadow: "Being able to see the future, you would think I would have it made... But when it comes to planning my FINANCIAL future I turn to the stock brokers at..."

* Lord Recluse: "Mwa ha haaaa.... My forces have invaded your home! You are doomed! What?! Oh no! Not... (gasp)... The Orkin Man!"

* Lanaru the Mad: "Drink and drive? Even I'm not THAT crazy..."

* Clockwork King: "Smuckers Jams and Preserves... the second best thing ever put in a jar."

* Infernal: "As an inter-dimensional hero I have to travel a lot and one thing I've discovered is not every place I go has a hotel that accepts... er.... Pets. So when I'm in a jam I call the great folks at Pandora's Pet Paradise lodging center..."

* Citadel: "Su..suh...suh... suh... sometimes I get a little g-g-g-g-g-glitch in my sy-sy-sy-system that I just can't do anything abou-OU-ou-OU-out. When I fuh-fuh-fuh-feel like I'm Cr-EEEEEAAAAAHH-ashing I call the cool professionals at Compu-Works Major!"

* Vanessa DeVore: "Marid Gras? Yawn. Oscar after party? Don't make me laugh. When you've seen as many parties as I have there's only one place to turn when planning the shin-dig of the century! That's to the party planners extreme at Pat's Parties and Tent Rentals!"

* Sally: "I used to hide a lot rather than let people see me. Many thought I was just terminally shy but the truth was my horrible skin problem! But now I'm out painting the town green thanks to Proactiv Acne Cleanser!"

* Captain Castillo: "Supercuts hair salon... Really... Do you think I'd trust hair THIS fabulous to anyone else?"

* Fusionette: "Hello, OnStar? I did it AGAIN!"

Loved the last two the best.

And Foreshadow.

Edit: First after Steelclaw.

Faultline: I used to employ random heroes to find my girlfriend. Then I discovered Paragon Lowjack Services. My life has changed.

Lol, those are some good ones

*Tries desperately to find that old Maybelline pic of Ghost Widow.*

*Fails*

"There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's MantiCard."

Castillo made me laugh, simply because he's so damn vain he so would

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zwillinger GG, I would tell you that "I am killing you with my mind", but I couldn't find an emoticon to properly express my sentiment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain_Photon NOTE: The Incarnate System is basically farming for IOs on a larger scale, and with more obtrusive lore.

Flambeaux: It isn't easy being awesome and hot! I said hot because I have these great fire powers in case you missed that part, anyway I really like my mirrors to be shiny and all that so I have some lady clean them with Windex. Thanks to Windex I get to see how awesome I am really clear. Well until the windows get all sooty and junk.

Hro'Dtohz "Power Armor: $1,000,000. Blaster: $500,000. Full invasion gateway: $50,000,000,000. Destruction of Humanity: Priceless."

Hahahaha! Funny.

Mother Mayhem: "Imperial City Cosmetic Specialists" are the best in all of Preatoria for your Breast Augmentation needs. You WILL go there.

Emperor Cole: I trust Weed-B-Gone to keep *my* city clear of offensive plants!

...

*hack hack cough wheeze choke laughter*

I'm just surprised you didn't go with ArmorAll for Posi! Absolutely love these, more please!

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

I was honestly expecting something like this for Synapse...

"Being a speedster is tough, especially on my feet, so when I'm shopping for running shoes, I always look for the check mark on the side..."

* Fusionette: "Hello, OnStar? I did it AGAIN!"

You, sir, owe me a new monitor.

For some reason, I thought Synapse was going to end with "and I never leave home without it..."

"Greetings flesh persons of Earth land! The one whose air sounds say Dillo is most jubilant to put in your ears a new form of making air sounds! The thing to exchange your valuables for has the air sounds that say 'Rosetta Stone'! It will put in your ears the mouth shapes and throat gurgles made by flesh persons on the other sides of your Earth land!"

*Hoorb*