Contact Concepts

So, we'll soon be travelling to Praetoria and meeting an entire city's worth of new contacts. What fun! Here are a few predictions/suggestions for who we might meet...

* Guido Obscurati: "Yeah, so's I needs ya ta go rescue's this guy. You know 'im... the guy with the face. They nabbed him on Dakota Street... those bad guys... the ones with the suits... and the bad attitudes. I heard their holdin' 'im at the place... the one with the roof... and the walls. So, you in or what?"

* Small Blue and White Trash Receptacle: "Beep-Boop-Whirrrr" (flickering image of woman in white with danishes duct taped to her head appears) "Help me, Hero, you're my only hope. You must take the plans safely to our headquarters. Oh, and if you happen to run into my brother, don't bring him along... he's always trying to kiss me and it really creeps me out."

* Hermit in Cave at Top of REALLY High Mountain: "You no get mission from me! You cheat! In my day we no have no fancy-pants travel powers! You no get missions from me if you fly, super jump, speed or teleport! You go back to bottom and come up using the Walk Emote! Better yet no come back at all! It take me 10 days come up here first time; finally think I be alone at last! But nooooo... Now someone make me a contact and you supers up here every five minutes pestering me 'give us missions! give us missions!'... Here a mission for you! Get the hell off my mountain! How's that for a mission?!"

* Mainer from a Stephen King Novel: "Ayuh, I have a mission for ya. You need to go down that road ovah theah. Go down it 'bout seven miles as the crow flies. 'Course, that road theah was built over an old Indian burial ground. Some say it's haunted. Don't know for sure. Me, I'm not for sayin' one way or t'other. All I know is that some young college boys went down the road 'bout a month ago. When we found 'em t'weren't nothin' left of 'em but their heads, mouths open and a' screamin' like they'd seen the king of Hades 'imself. At the end o' the road you'll find an abandoned warehouse... gorry but that place is even worse than the road."

* Telegraph: Not to be outdone by Radio and Television, the old tried-and-true Telegraph is ready and able to give out missions! Hope you've all brushed up on your morse code.

* Nemesis Operative: "Oh, hi there! Yes, yes, I have missions for any hero or villain who'd like to help out. Let's see, you would be $heroname, right? Oh, well... you remember when you helped stop that bank robbery about three months ago? Well, we gave you that information. Yes, see, when you stopped the robbery it left that criminal without financing. When he couldn't get the cash to fund his plans, he was forced to go to a Loan Shark. The Loan Shark sent two goons to get the money and one of those goons was killed in the altercation. The goon in question was actually an undercover police officer. The undercover police officer's wife, who is a powerful psychic, sensed her husband's death and let loose with a psychic scream of pure anguish and misery. We were ready for it and were able to harness the incredible psychic energy in our specially prepared batteries. Said batteries will now power fully half of our armaments for the next year. Thank you very much for your efforts and here is your end-of-mission bonus."

* Doctor Tourettes: "Ah, Hero! FRAGMONKEY! I'm so glad to see you. BLEEDING BOIL BUTTOCKS! I have a mission for you that would absolutely PENGUIN PUS!! perfect for you. There is this wonderful HO-MONGER!! nun who has collected toys for some poor DONKEY DUNG SWILLING orphans. We need to get the toys to them! CROSSDRESSING GORILLAS! The only problem is the Freakshow have taken the DEEP RECTAL PROBING toys to their hideout. Please, CACTUS ENEMA!! can you help us?"

Nemesis Operative is - and this is a phrase I don't use often, for fear of sounding like a hopeless prat - made of pure win.

Actually, "CACTUS ENEMA" sounds like the newest battle cry for a Spines scrapper.

And thanks a lot, Steel, there's now Black Cherry soda all over my desk.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

To Dark Respite and Eisenzahn,

Haven't you guys learned by now never to drink while reading a SteelClaw thread? Sheesh, its Forum 101

ok i though i was going to come see another bad speculation page but this is full of win gratz

okay, it's not right. i was reading the mainer from a stephen king novel, and the whole thing was in morgan freeman's voice.

Most annoying thing about Hermit in Cave at Top of REALLY High Mountain is he never gives you his damn cell phone number.

I think they need to make more use out of the unused contacts before they make up more contacts. Like The Can Man. He's only used in like ONE mission... but he's so awesome.

Also, I think they need to add more contacts IN Independence Port that give you missions IN specific neighborhoods of IP. I love that zone, if only there was more to do and the contacts didn't send me elsewhere...

There are contacts in IP?

Whenever I go a waypoint for a contact in IP, I get his name removed and a error message saying that he died of old age. I then get assigned a new contact in Talos.

There are contacts in IP?

Whenever I go a waypoint for a contact in IP, I get his name removed and a error message saying that he died of old age. I then get assigned a new contact in Talos.

That. Was awesome.