The February 2010 FArt Battle

Entry complete!!

Hopefully work tonight will be slow enough for me to polish it all up so I can submit it for rejection tommorow

Mine's conceptually done.

I'm having a lot of problems with the visual elements. I like the design, it conveys the idea properly but it looks like a rough with stand in artwork (my lack of drawing ability is showing heavily). I'm unhappy with how it's turning out so far...

Aaaaargh...time to walk the plank you scurvy dawg!

For all you land lovers - this is my 2010 February FArt submission.

Carnieval Cruise - Valentine's Day "Pirate Themed Vacation"

Set sail for a true Carnie adventure! Learn how to raid nearby ships, find buried treasure, or walk the plank. You'll have so much fun, you'll never want to leave...EVER!



dA link - Larger viewing file HERE
dA link - Art-only image file HERE

Alright, my entry can be found on my DA page http://kaemgen.deviantart.com/ - It's the one titled February FArt Entry

I'm not sure this will count as a qualifying entry or not, I'll leave that in Wassy's capable hands and graciously accept whatever her decision is. Let's face it, I cannot compete with the rest of you in the visual arts so I had to try something...

Edit: If it does qualify, seems I'm not able to submit it to a FArt gallery since I can't even see it as a gallery to submit to so rather than put it in the wrong place I skipped that step for now...

My first reaction was to disqualify this entry. But I thought about it for a bit. Caemgen is correct that I didn't have a specific prohibition against fan writing. What kind of sold it for me though is that this is now the Screenshots & Fan Creations forum. We have a fan fic section on the dA group. Writing is an art. I've been encouraging thinking outside the usual fan art offerings.

So I've decided to qualify this entry.

I'm not totally keen on having this contest suddenly get a lot of writing entries, though. I think this contest should stay more for visual arts, as that's what the original intent it. It just adds a whole other beast if there's also writing (even just themes would have to be changed to keep it in mind). So going forward, there will be specific monthly rules prohibiting fan fics.

Bump... just over 36 hours left and we are missing half our submissions...
*cracks whip*


Get to eeeeet!

*notices that he is among the unsubmitted*
Ahem right then... as you were.

One --> Artz Giveaway <-- To Rule Them ALL!

I will settle this. ORANGE FTW! - Ex Libris

Eww, CR is not the person I want to receive whipping from. Guess I'd better get to work...

@Caemgen: Nothing specifically in the rules against it for this month and it does give a nod to the Hawt Chick rule (lol) while throwing in a reference to your January submission (a clever touch).
While I also would rather this not become a writing contest for the occasional entry it's fine and I actually though it a pretty good story.

I won't bother going all grammar nazi (up in hyah, up in hyah ) but there is one thing I would point out from a story consistency standpoint.

The part when Fenian gets told she has a present under the bed she puts the clothes she is carrying down on the bed and then crosses the room to look under the bed for her present. If she is already at the bed she would have no need to cross the room to get to it.

There were no references that I noticed to there being more than one bed (i.e. she didn't say my bed or your bed or "the beds" plural) and several refs to "the bed" singular as if there was just the one. It could be that there are two in which case she should cross the room from "her" bed to Angela bed... or much simpler just substitute a different piece of furniture as is she put her clothes down on the dresser and crossed the room to the bed.

Other that that it reads just fine and it was interesting enough to hold my attention all the way through (even though I'm running a 101 degree fever and have a nose like a faucet atm) while being suggestive/intriguing in all the right places but not crass or vulgar at any point, plus finally we now have the story behind Fenian.
Nice work.

P.S. I lol'd at the line about the toaster.

One --> Artz Giveaway <-- To Rule Them ALL!

I will settle this. ORANGE FTW! - Ex Libris

*Opens ticket booth*
Step right up folks and get you're front row seats right here!

One --> Artz Giveaway <-- To Rule Them ALL!

I will settle this. ORANGE FTW! - Ex Libris

*runs past and plops his art down*...

Mako and Ghost Widows Nude Embrace..



..I got the idea from lennon and yoko's nude embrace that was featured
on rolling stones magazine ..
heres a side-by-side...
http://implicit-bookcarrier.devianta...side-154621229

She does not look entirely happy to see him.

Oh the lips are pouty...it's the eyes maybe turn the corners up just a bit.

up to you, I just gave my first impression, And what I see is clearly not what others see.

...

It's a miracle! I'm starting to actually not hate my entry!

*runs around poking the deviant art boards*...

....
...
..
.

err.. I think I just entered my Feb-Fart in the screenshoots area

CR - your totally right on the bed thing... Originally she was throwing the clothes on the floor but the sentence was very awkward and I changed it last minute... I should have given it at least another read through but was running out of time - I wanted it in Thursday so if Wassy did nix it I would have most of Friday to maybe come up with some scribbling

Grammar is definitely not my strong suit. Not sure what is but it's not that. Feel free to go all grammar cop if you wish, never hurts to see my mistakes (though with my thick head it may not help either) but if you do you may wanna go pm route so as not to bore everyone else

Actually Fen and her roommate were supposed to be the hot chicks... I really meant to spend more time describing them (as opposed to the none I ended up with) but that got a bit lost in the shuffle of wanting to have the pin up scene, to tell a story and to keep it short. I actually wanted shorter but I do tend to ramble... But ya, from my first thought of doing a story I figured I had to include the little tortured chick

Heh, glad ya liked the toaster line... I've heard of gals using washing machines but never toasters...

As for walking the line, I figured I would save the real pornagraphic stuff for the finals! . Actually, I was a tad uncomfortable writing about a lesbian relationship in the first place... I didn't want it to come off as some perverts fantasy or hot chicks pillow fighting in negligees or something, but for some reason Fen was never straight in my head... Maybe cause she's my character and so I have problems seeing her with a guy since it would be like seeing me with a guy? *shrug*

anyway, since I was worried about portraying that kind of relationship in the first place, I certainly didn't want to go overboard on details and gratuitous detail... I actually had several more scenes and interplays between the two to try to flesh them out a bit more, to show their feelings for each other more, but again they fell to procrastination, wanting to get it submitted and wanting to keep it as short as I could. I figure it's a stretch already asking people to read in an art contest, I may as well keep it brief for them...

And egads, this post is getting longer than the story!! I'll just wrap up by saying this isn't the whole Fenian origin story as I envision it but definitely a decent enough nutshell telling of it for now...

Now that it's entered you can update it.