MCMs 5-Star Reviews!

I was going to review Aracade's Introduction to Chaos, but he unpublished it half way through my play, and I couldn't finish the review lol. So I chose a replacement

Suppression, Arc ID 374481, by @Gypsy Rose, Heroic, Long (2 unique, 3 small maps) All over Paragon, supers are losing their powers. Can I find out why, and help? Lvl range 5-15 I'll be taking my new DP/Devs Blaster Tumbleweed Jackson, currently lvl 8.



24 plays, 5 stars as I start.

“Howdy. Jake Jehosephat Jackson's the name, tho' mos' folks call me Tumbleweed, on account o' my wanderin' nature. I been to many places, ya see. I been to New Orleans, I been to New York, I even been to Newport, Wales. That wasn't as much fun as New Orleans or New York, I must 'fess. But in all my wanderins, I ain't never been to as strange an' jes' plain contrary place as this here Paragorn City! Why, Jus' yesterday, I saw a woman dressed in near enough no more than her birthday suit, with ears like a damn wildcat! She even had a tail, an' everythin'! Yee-haw, I thought I'd seen it all. But no siree, this town – it's a looksee alright!

“At least there's plenty to do fer a gunfighter like myself! Only last week, I was headin' on down to my local waterin' hole when I met a purdy lil lady called Dorothy. She asked me fer help with a lil problem that was startin' to cause a ruckus among the supers around the town. Well, I'm a sucker fer a gal in trouble, so o' course I said yes!

[The contact is Dorothy, a “simple farm girl whose longing for adventure brought her to Paragon City.” The problem she needs help with is that well-known supers are losing their powers and then disappearing mysteriously. One such is Cerebella, a super with an amazing intellectual capacity. One day poor Cerebella woke up sans intelligence, as it were.]

“So Dorothy asked me ta go find Cerebella. She was last seen in Croatoa, so I moseyed on over ther...

Mission 1: Save Cerebella

“Ah, Croatoa sorta reminds me o' the range back home, sometimes. The trees, the grass, the pumpkin patches...not so much the sea monsters and goblins...



“Anyhows, I started askin' around ta see if anyone knew anythin' about the lady in question, but you know, those big guys with the horns ain't too welcomin'! In fact, they was downright impolite! I hadda let my two little friends do the talkin' after that! I figured these Tuatha wuz hidin' something'!



[Lol Tumblweeed's just got Fly (I spent too much on some rocket boots specially), and I love the crazy legs-akimbo action that comes from using DP when I'm in the air.]

“After some time, I found a couple o' strange hombres makin' some kind o' magic ritual or something', and there was a lil tiny girl trapped on account of it. I lent a hand, an' the mini-girl ran off soon as she was free...

[The 'minikins' custom faction is nicely designed. The captive here runs off immediately upon being rescued. My preference is for captives to have a rescued animation of any kind, as that enables me to read the rescued dialogue on the screen, instead of watching it zoom away with the captive and then read it in the chat bar]

“The mini-girl was talkin' about someone called 'the Wicked One' afore she lit off! I wonder who that is?

“In a great big pumpkin patch, I finally found Cerebella. She was in a pickle, surely. Poor gal'd near lost her mind! The critters guardin' her weren't no Tuatha, either. A weird mishmash o' lava-men, lil whirry robots n' big ol' blobs!



“None of em stood up ta my six-guns, mind! When she wuz free, she left me a note, all forlorn and' then ran off...

[The note is a verse from the Scarecrow's song in The Wizard of Oz, which finishes “...and my head I'd be scratchin' while my thoughts were busy hatchin'. If I only had a brain.”. It's about here I get a big cheesy grin as I sing along. The arc's a cute take on the movie and books about Oz.]

“I headed back to Dorothy, an' she thanked me. Cerebella was bein' taken care of by the Paragon sawbones.

[According to Dorothy, I brought her back, but she ran off after the rescue. Any reason why she's not an escort? The maps small enough for it to not be a problem, I'd think, although some folk blanket hate escorts no matter what]

“But another hero was in trouble. Valentina, a super with a heart o' gold, had gone missin' in an office after tryin' to find Cerebella.

Mission 2: Save Valentina

“When I got there, the office building was crawlin' with these big white hombres, lookin' like giant movin' snowmen!

[The office map leads to a hole in the floor, dug down to a cavern system. I have some fun with the Winter Horde as I make my way through, looking for the hostage and any info I can find. The WH are a little challenging for me at this level for some reason – Of course, I'm trying to get good screenshots lol, so I'm not as careful as I can be ]

“Well, that cave wasn' too big, thank the Lord. I soon found the lil lady, bein' held up by more o' the crazy mixed up critters. She couldn't help me none, the poor thing had a broken heart, looked like. I ain't never see a sorrier lookin' sight.

[Valentina's note of course holds a verse from the Tin Man's song “If I only had a heart”. Aw. ]

“After I'd told Valentina how to find the exit, I reckoned I'd do a little searchin' o that office. Somethin' was givin' me an itch...Lucky I had that itch too, cos' back up on the top floor, I found a note from Cerebella. She'd presumably written it afore she lost her brains an' all, 'cos she said she suspected somethin' of suppressin' superpowers. Well, if'n somethin' was responsible, maybe that somethin' could be stopped...

“Dorothy couldn' shed any light on that, but I had another hero to save – Captain Courageous was known fer his bravery afore this started happenin', 'parrently, but now, why, he'd turned more yeller than a yellerbacked yellerbelly wearin' a yeller jacket whilst eatin' a bushel of extra yeller bananas! He was holed up in some ship down at the docks. I had to go help him out!

Mission 3: Save Captain Courageous

[Nav tells me to save the captain, and find some info if possible]

“That ship wasn' no old galleon, like the one I found in the caverns underneath Old Man Arkansaw's barn that time, but it was a swarmin' with ghost pirates, anyway! They was tryin' to protect their ghost treasure, I reckon. There was quite a lot o' that lyin' around, too. Shucks, all I wanted to do was find Captain Courageous, an' here I was fightin' off hordes o' swashbucklin' spooks!



[Absolutely wonderful fun. I make my way through the ship, clearing the ghosts. I've got 3 bubs till I ding lvl 9, and 2 hours before I go back to work, so I'll just clear I think. ]

“I spent me a good 20 minutes fightin' mah way through them ghoulies. I did find somethin interestin', a pamphlet for some sorta magic show by a Master Marvel. An right at the end o' the ship, I did find Captain Courageous, 'ceptin' he wuzzen't courageous at all!



“He took off like a buzzard with the squits as soon as I'd dealt with the varmints that were holdin' him!

[Courageous' note has the appropriate verse from the Cowardly Lion's song ]

[exit]

“Dorothy thanked me for helpin' the third hero, an' then told me that the feller in the pamphlet, Master Marvel, was a wizard, an' he pretty much had a reputation of bein' an all-round wonderful guy , on account o' the wonderful things that he does, I guess. She wanted me to go off n' meet him, an' so off I went! The lil lady was in charge, after all, I was jes' the cowpoke doin' the roundin' up of the herd, sort of thing!

Mission 4: Meet the Wizard



[The wizard, Master Marvel, is in an Oranbega map, with accompanying reconditioned CoT mobs. I must say, I love the fact that every map has different mobs for me to fight. The CoT don't cause me too much hassle, and I ding before the mission ends ]



“Well in I went, an' Master marvel's people didn't want me to see him, so I had to let rip with ma six-guns. They took a bit o' convincin' but in the end they let me see him. He agreed to meet with Dorothy and help out. Which was fine by me.



[In the mission, I also find a few glowies. One has an amusingly titled book, and another bookshelf has a collection of books by L Frank Baum, who was the real-world writer of the Oz books (Yeah, that's plural – some people only know the film, but there are quite a lot of books set in Oz). I also find a very punnish pitcher, which I won't spoil here lol]

[exit]

“After I'd reloaded my Colts, I headed back to Dorothy. She said that Master Marvel had given her the lowdown on what was happenin'! Some evil old crone by the name o' The Wicked One had put a spell on all kinds o' heroes, usin' some wicked magical brew to make them doubt theirselves! Seein' as how I wasn't affected by the nasty ol' harridan, I had to go in an' destroy her brew and stop her shenanigans!

Mission 5: End the Suppression

[Nav says 3 Magic Talismans to find, Defeat the Wicked One and Find her Brew. The map's a forest, the one with the minimaze bit]

“Goshdarn place reminds me o' home, a mite. Course, home wasn't overrun with little robot critters an' molten stone dudes! I set to findin' the Wicked One an' her evil brew!

[After some blastin', I find an arcane case, with a heart shaped locket inside. It's Valentina's heart – not her biological one, more a symbol of her good-natured kindness. Very near to it is another case, containing Captain Courageous' courage, a shiny medal]



“The Wicked One had locked away magical talismans, not of their powers, really, but of what really made 'em heroes. I reckoned that once they were shown these little doohickeys, they'd snap out of their doldrums!

[I locate the last case, with Cerebella's 'brain' in it, a PhD]

“An' then, I spotted the Wicked One! I ran in an' unloaded mah six-shooters, an' she started whirlin' up a storm! The wind was howlin' and she was cacklin' and stuff was flyin' all about, it fair put me off mah shootin'! I had to really juggle them guns to put a stop to her wicked ways!



[The Wicked One is Storm/Grav, I believe, and she throws me around like a ragdoll for a bit, until I eat a few lucks, and then she's a pussycat lol. Nice]



“An' after that, I figured I'd activate mah rocket boots an' have a look around from the air fer the Magic Brew. I spotted it in a big cauldron, bein' guarded by a big slob, an' in a few shakes of a snakes rattle, that brew was no more! YEE-HAW!



[lol Exit]

“Dorothy was jes' tickled pink to get the magical talismans I'd rescued. She reckoned that Valentina, Cerebella and Captain Courageous would soon come round when they'd got these. She gave me a book to remember her by, and I tipped mah hat to the lil lady, an' moseyed off on mah way...

[end]

A delightful arc. The parallels to the Wizard of Oz are mostly obvious from early on, but I didn't realise on my first playthrough (for Dr Aeon's challenge) that even the various mob groups have been specially chosen to fit the theme (the ghostly pirates in Captain Courageous' mission, for example, have been picked to represent fear, the opposite of courage, Rose explains in PWs review thread). It's little touches like this that show the love that's gone into the making, and it's appreciated, Rose. Playing this through at a slower pace for my thread, I remembered the sheer fun I had playing it the first time. The varied mob groups are just right for Tumbleweed's level and powers, and the story's lovely.

Negatives: I think that after reading PWs suggestion about having Master Marvel spawn as a totem first, enabling you to do the 'Pay no attention..' line, I've got to agree with her. That would be brilliant, really. It's also a shame that Glenda doesn't maker any kind of appearance, and more so, I'd like to have seen more of the minimen lol.The miniman newsie spawn made me think I was going to see a few more interesting and amusing animation usages, but no more materialised.

However, even as it stands right now, I loved it. 5 stars.

Eco.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

The Descender, Arc ID 339222 by @Mr Squid. Villainous, lvl range 25-31 until the last mission, when it jumps to 45-54. Mr Squid has explained that there's a very good reason for this level jump, so benefit of the doubt until then. Very Long (4 uniques, 1 small map. 11 plays, 4 stars as I start.

I'm taking in Tarquin Wilde, my lvl 24 En/En Stalker.



“Yesterday evening, my houseboy asked me 'Are there any limits to your depravity, Sir?' Before turning up the heat - he hadn't asked permission to speak, don'tcha know... I pondered on that for a moment. Is there anywhere I won't go?

[The contact is Captain Mako]

“Sharks. Sharks are definitely off the menu when it comes to liasons. I'm all for the sensuous scrape of a five o' clock shadow, but sharkskin'll rub you right down to the bone in seconds – and that's NOT a euphemism!

“Still, our esteemed leader's selachine assassin may not get invited to any parties, but he does occasionally have lucrative jobs for stealthy fellows such as myself.

“And one such has just arisen. Mako requires someone to discover what has happened to one of his strike teams. Apparently they've been lost whilst performing furtive operations in a damp cranny. Well, we've all been there, dear...

[Mako's strike team was sent to kill the Leviathan, the giant shark-creature that lies under Sharkshead. I'm guessing this arc follows on from Mako's patron arc. I haven't yet played that, I'm afraid, but I planned Tarquin for that arc, so this seems apt.]

“Mako directs me to some caves under Sharkhead isle. I'm to simply find the leader of the strike force he sent in, and bring him out safely...

Mission1: Find the Strike Force

“Oh, crivvens! This place is absolutely ghastly! I know I should have changed before I came here. The salt water's going to absolutely RUIN the silk in my slippers, and the damp is going to play havok with my skin! And the smell! Oh, really, it's more than a man should have to stand!

[It's the Leviathan map, I think. A little way down the first slope, I encounter some customs, fish-men of the Virtea faction; Virtea Hammerhead, Virtea Mako, Virtea Thresher.]

“Now who are these strange creatures? Hmm, not exactly the muscled glistening Atlanteans of legend are they? How disappointing. I'll sneak past them...

[The customs look OK, in fact they're not bad at all considering fish-options are not really catered for in the costume creator, but they're a bit monochrome]

“These piscine fellows are all over the place. Luckily for me, there's plenty of crevices I can slip into. They don't even know I'm there. I meet some Arachnos soldiers engaged in combat with them, but the leader's not there, so I leave them be.



[The map's quite large, with a few small offshoots. My standard approach is to follow the left wall when I reach a branch in a map; this leads me here to see the whole map before I return to where the Leader is eventually found. I don't know if he always spawns in the same place. The 'final' room, the one with the actual Leviathan itself, has more of the customs scattered around, but nothing else. I reach the Leader without aggroing any of the customs. Of course, I'm going to have to fight my way out if it's an escort, but that's a side effect of stealthing]

“Ah, here we are...my, what a brute! I bet he could crack walnuts with his pectorals! Come on, then, handsome, let me lead you on – I mean out...

[The leader is a yellow conning Lt, and he is indeed an escort. I've got to lead him back through approx a third of the map, and there's probably 15-20 mobs on the way. Let's see how we do.]

“I suppose I'll have to stop lurking and display myself to those dirty creatures now you're here, eh? No way we're going to hide you away under my smock, are we? Chance'd be a fine thing...

“Right, let me start by taking that thin one unawares from behind, then you can dive in and give his friend a good pounding, eh?

[We attack the first group we meet – three yellow cons. They're not a problem]



“That's the ticket...tell me, are you allowed to date outside the service, in Arachnos?

[We fight our way back through the map, meeting more customs (one is the Virtea Manta, which has wings). Eventually we reach the exit. The Leader didn't die, but if I'd had an unlucky spawn, maybe, he might have. He went to half health a few times]

“OK, here's the exit. Now exactly how grateful are you for my assistance-hey, where are you going?

“...Charming! Soldiers, tsk!

[exit]

“Mako, your men are mostly dead, but I rescued the Strike Force Leader for you. I'll take my usual fee, plus another hundred thou for the dry-cleaning bill and the frankly exorbitant cost of the manicures, visits to the hairdresser's and skin treatment spas I shall need in order to get the reek of salty grime out of my skin. I smell like Captain Ahab's hammock!

“...Sorry, you were saying?

[Mako is pleased that the leader survived and intrigues about the fish-men I found in the cavenrs. He wants me to check out some CoT libraries for any information they might have on them]

“The Circle, you say? Alright, I've been meaning to look something up myself, anyway...

Mission 2: Learn more about the Virtea

[The nav instructions are 'Find some info on the Virtea, 9 more bookshelves to search' – This is a bit nitpicky, but as I haven't searched any bookshelves at all yet, '9 more' looks odd. You could get rid of 'more' and it would still make sense.

Not so nitpicky, is: nine!? Lol I'm OK with it as I can stealth, but it might be a lot of glowies for some Players]

“Right then...I'll just sneak past these Circle drones...hmm, nice robe this ones wearing...ooh, velvety! Maybe I've got time to...no, I'd best be getting on with the job in hand...

[I find a bookshelf with some ghosts near it. I dispatch them, and scan the bookshelf for anything useful]

“Jackpot! First shelf! Oh, I AM good! Here's the information I've been looking for...the recipe for Spanish Fly and Oyster Pina Coladas! Oh yes, when I've brewed up a few dozen quarts of this, Chelsea, Lola, Annabelle and Graham will be over the moon!



“Oh, and what's this? 'Tome of the Depths'...Hm, this might be-good grief, I AM GOOD! It's about the Virtea, they're called! Slaves of the Coralax. And what's this, next to it? 'The Tome of the Abyss'...lots of watery tomes here today...So what's it say about the Virtea then...dum de dum...let me see...riight, seems to be some kind of prophecy...the hound of the spider king yadda yadda...the bones of fallen minions tralala...awaken the sleeper...reclaim the surface...slau...ghter...ah...

[lol after that scary '9 books to search', BOTH objectives dropped at the very first bookshelf.. The prophecy explains that apparently, I am 'the Descender', and it's my lot to lead the Virtea on some sort of rampage of vindication]

“I say...my delving into that dripping hole was foretold, was it? Well, I don't want to be worrying Mako with any news of my being any sort of 'chosen one'. I'll tell him I found nothing and then go back to the cave and see what I can find...

[exit]

[The debriefing gives me a longish explanation that that is basically what my toon does, and whilst Mako's off interrogating someone for info, I go back to the cave to see what I can find out]

Mission 3: Confirm your Theory

“Hm, well, it smells the same, that's for sure...oh! Coralax! Hm, they were conspicuously absent last time I was here...

[I stealth onwards]

“Well well, here we have a nice little party...you know, in that green light, that scaly fish-man doesn't look nearly as repulsive as he did before...



[I rescue the boss, a Whitefang, from the lutches of the Coralax. His dialogue confirms that I am apparently 'the Descender', the long-foretold savior of the Virtea, used as slaves by the Coralax for a long time. He asks me what I want him to do]

“Ooh, my wish is your command, is it? I say...never say never, after all...

[lol I continue through the map fighting the Coralax with the help of my newfound ally, and discover and rescue another two. With them aiding me, any Coralax I meet are dispatched in seconds]

“...Oh, hello boys! Look, I'm a bit tuckered out, and I'm sure you could do with a rest. Why don't we all have a bit of a splash in this nice pool, eh? ...Want me to scrub your back for you, Redjaw?



“...Pff...killjoy...Come on then, let's finish clearing out the caverns...



[The clues from the three bosses tell the tale of the Virtea. They were created by the Leviathan, and are older than the Coralax, who controlled them when they took control of the Leviathan.We search through the cave system, clearing Coralax when we find them. TBH, the Coralax are a bit sparse to my eyes]

“Just this last cave to go...oh, hello, here we are...who's this fishy munter? Ooh, he wants to play, does he? Come on boys, let's give him a tickle!



[Calystix the Shaper is waiting for us. With my allies helping, he's not a problem at all. His defeat spawns Barracuda, who rants that she was meant to fulfill the prophecy, not I. She drops like a stone despite being an EB]

“OK, lads...er, hold on, what are you doing? Down on your knees? Now's not really the time...oh, you're just, er, worshipping me...

“Hm...there are quite a lot of you, aren't there, lads? My very own army...just what the proctologist ordered. I think it's time I showed that oik Mako what Sushi is.

[exit]

[The debriefing is a shock, to say the least. Before I can give Mako a piece of my mind, he informs me that the Leviathan has woken up and eaten Sharkhead and St Martial. Yep, eaten them both]

“Well, blow me...it seems that my hordes of piscine slaves have arisen from the depths to lay waste to the land-dwellers, as is I presume their fishy wont. Well, let no-body say that I'm a shirker when it comes to leading the way. Admittedly, usually I'm leading the way to the jacuzzi hall clutching an industrial-sized tube of mai tai flavor ID Glide and a metronome, but this may just be my chance to rule the world. Ah, and what a perfect world it would be, if I were in charge. A perfect world, full of perfect people, with perfect skin, perfect teeth and perfect hair, wearing perfect clothes and eating and drinking only the most perfect food and drink!.

“...oh, yes...yes, it will be sumptuous, the new world order, when I am in control. Sweeping changes will have to be made, of course. Denim, that's got to go. Corduroy can stay, but only in pastel shades. Ah, the list of things I'll have to get rid of...those dreadful oversized earphones that students wear these days, for example...skateboards, the Mullet, the Welsh. Ah yes, the list is endless.

“-Where was I? Oh yes, to lead my army of scaly soldiers to victory! And if by some chance my army is defeated, well then I'll simply slip into the shadows like a ghost, and who shall be able to say that I was there? Everybody wins! For a given value of 'everybody', of course...

Mission 4: Exterminate the Coralax

“St Martial's seen better days, that's a given...

[Outdoor map, ruined skyscrapers everywhere, water all around. The Nav tell me to find the Virtea Khan, defeat three Coralax Exarchs]

“I can see that my slaves are dealing with the rank and file Coralax on their own without too many casualties...I'll take out the Coralax leaders, I think, and locate the Virtea headman – he'll be my...aha, Prime Minister of sorts, I expect, once I rule the planet...



[The map is full of Coralax/Virtea battles. I'm Hidden, of course, and Ninja Running, so it's quite cool to run around and see the massed fights going on. V nice. After some scouting, I find the first Exarch. He's got a nice big animation to aid recognition, thank you]

“There we are, my coral-skinned friend...just be still, this won't hurt me a bit...



[The Boss is a yellow LT, and I one-shot him with an AS]

“OK, now where's the other two...hm...some of my boys are in trouble, I'll help them out a bit...never hurts to see your God taking a personal interest in your well-being, does it?

[lol these battles are brilliant. It looks amazing, really. I stop and get stuck into a few fights, cos it's so cool. Then I spot another Exarch. He gives me a little more trouble this time, mainly because I'm having so much fun actually fighting the Coralax that I don't bother with Hide any more.]

“Oh, no! You ruffian! You almost dirtied my sleeve with that last punch. That will NOT do!

[After putting down the Exarch, I zoom about the map for a while checking out the splendid battles before I spot the last Exarch. As I do, I see the Khan held in some kind of field. I decide to leave him there till after the Exarchs are down]

[The third Exarch tells me something a little alarming]



[I hope he's bluffing lol. I defeat him, and then I get a mission complete. This is odd. The Khan is an optional objective? Tarquin wants to free him anyway]

“Right, that's that sorted. Now where's my erstwhile ally...ah yes, there he is.



[I free him, and he proclaims me above him in the ranks. Quite right too. He's an EB Ally – if I'd have freed him first, he would have made micnemeat of the Exarchs I think, but that would have been offset by his undoubted aggro-fest en route to them lol]

“Yes, there's a good fellow, prostrate yourself, I could do with a sit-down-what's this? The blood of the Leviathan, you say? Don't kind if I do. Hm, No, I won't take it intravenously if you don't mind, I don't know WHERE this knife has been. Here, I always carry a small flask of Napoleon Brandy with me, I'll make a mixer.

“Ooh, tart! That hit the spot! Oh, yes, this is a better rush than that time I did a dozen viagra and a case of red bull! I think I'm ready for my close up now, Mr Demille! Let's go, handsome!

[The mission clue actually has me injecting the blood into my veins via the knife, and then I feel the rush of myself becoming a near-deity. It's quite cool]

[exit]

“OK, now that I am, as they say, become a God, all that remains is to crush Lord Recluse and his underlings beneath my silken-clad heels. Let destruction reign!

Mission 5: Destroy Arachnos

“Now then, my scaly friend. When I am ruler of all, I shall need a land army that can breath through it's mouth not its neck if I'm going to subjugate the European continent and the heartland of America and Africa, you know, all those places that aren't islands. It's all very well being Lord of the Rogue Isles, but I think bigger than that. So where am I going to get a large morally corrupt military organisation? Well, Arachnos fits the bill perfectly, doesn't it, apart from the small matter of its leadership. I need a way to remove them. A surgical strike at Recluse, Mako and the other helmet-kissers in his inner circle is what's needed. Go prepare me a plan!

[The Khan comes back with a plan lol. The Virtea have 'abyss wells', which can be used to magically summon people to them. We shall invade an Arachnos submarine base, and then use the abyss wells to summon Recluse etc. The last mission is lvl 45-54, representing my ascent in power. Nice. One reservation I have is that the plan for this mission is presented as entirely created by the Khan, without any real input from the Player apart from a '(((How about the subjugation of the rogue isles?)))' request in Orange text. I'm not sure why so many brackets, tbh. If it's meant to sort of distance the text from the Player to avoid putting words in the players mouth, I'm not sure it's needed, especially since this plan is dictated by the Khan anyway. As you can see, Tarquin's added his own reasoning to things, but as it stands, I for one would be perfectly happy to see the entirety of the Khan's plan out into the Players mouth (with some tweaking to account for the knowledge of the abyss wells). This is full-on villainous 'seizing my own destiny' stuff, after all – I'm going to kill LR etc! Relish it!]

[I enter the mission]

[one more minor thing – I really don't like the 'you have fantasized the moment when Arachnos would finally relinquish control over your life' bit – Screw that, they've never had any control over THIS villain's life]

“Right. Now to find these abyss wells...

[It's the Arachnos Sub base map, so nice and linear (I have Reveal now, so I use that at the start) Around the first corner, I find an abyss well.]




[I free the nearby Khan, and then activate the Well with some trepidation]

“Captain Mako! I summon thee! Get thee hither, you big-nosed psychopath!

“...Oh, is that the roaring of an enraged shark-man I can hear from up ahead? Come on, Khan...

[Next, we meet another well, with Blackfin nearby. Khan's an EB, btw, Blackfin's a Boss. They're both orange. I have 'no Avs' on, so Mako etc will be EBs – it looks like I'll be able to deal with them with the help I'm getting. I leave the abyss well alone for now. The three of us move up the tunnel, and soon meet Whitefang, also an orange boss. Next is another abyss well, and then another, with Redjaw in attendance. Finally, we find the main room, with Mako raging.]

“There he is, boys...Let him have it!

[We attack, and after a middling-difficulty fight, he drops. Some Virtea spawn nearby when he does]

[It's about here that I start having reservations about this mission. See, at first, when I realised that I was going to be able to control when the AVs spawn and hence have a chance at being successful, I was rubbing my hands together in glee and mentally composing gushing messages of praise for you. Now, however, I see that as the abyss wells are spread out along the corridor to the main room, to spawn the AVs one at a time, I have to run back up the tunnel and then back to the main room every time – if they do indeed all spawn in the main room. I'm wondering now if you meant everyone to click ALL the abyss well glowies on the way and deal with whatever AVs you find, even if they're spawned together. I'm not sure if I, the Khan EB and 3 Bosses could take out LR and his entire gang. It would be best if it could be guaranteed that the AVs would spawn in between their abyss well and the next one. That would be a satisfying progression. As it is, I'm in a quandary. I can do it the laborious way and hope that that guarantees me success, or I can throw caution to the winds and do them all now and see what happens.

...I guess if it all goes horribly wrong I can run the arc again and try the other way. OK, I'll do them all now.]

[Right, to cut out some pointless story, I went back and activated all the remaining abyss wells, and then when I returned to the big room, Black scorpion was waiting for me near the entrance. He killed me, and I decided to restart the whole arc from scratch and come at this mission more carefully – It's such a great premise that I really want to succeed at it. BRB after 4 missions ]

[So-the whole arc up until the start of mission 5 again, a night's sleep and a day's work, and I'm ready to take up the reins again We shall rewind to the start of Mission 5...]

Mission 5: Destroy Arachnos

“Excellent. I'm now in at the entrance to Arachnos Submarine Facility 57/d43, and not a soul alive saw me enter. My gilled commandos should have already arrived, if they've followed orders. Let's find these magical summoning devices...

[I make my way up the corridor, and soon find-

you know, I've just this second realised that I didn't need to restart the arc again. I could've just logged out and back in, couldn't I?

ROFL What a noob. Heh. ...Ah well, it's all good XP!

-I make my way up the corridor, and soon find the Khan waiting for me, accompanied by some Arachnos]



[Hm, I'm not sure why he's crouched like that and they're stood around him but there's no explanation of whether or not he's a prisoner or what? I think it'd be quite cool if they were in the cowering animation and he was lording it over them, 'wait till The Descender gets here, he'll eat your brains for an appetizer' or something better written than that but in the same vein]

“Here you are, my boy. Arachnos! I believe the phrase is 'let my people go!', aha...Oh, come on then, let's get it over with...

[Easy. After defeating them, we move on]

“Ah, here's an abyss well. Khan, deal with the fools guarding it. There, now to summon one of Lord Recluse's dogs...oh wait, why don't I start with Recluse himself? RECLUSE, Get thee hence, you overego'd fashion victim!

[This first abyss well is Lord Recluse's – last time I played, the first was Mako's, which leads me to think that they're random. If I was doing this one at a time, beating LR first would be a little anti-climactic perhaps]

“Come, Khan, let us proceed...

[Further into the tunnel, we find some more Arachnos, Whitefang the Virtea boss from earlier, and another Abyss Well, this time calling forth Black Scorpion. After calling him, I continue up the tunnel, accumulating allies and using the abyss wells as I go. I'm really hoping I haven't bitten off more than we can chew with this approach, but it just seems the most dramatically apt way to proceed. When we reach the end of the tunnel, the Arachnos submarine bay lies before us. Captain Mako is visible a little way ahead, with Scirocco off to the right. In the distance, up on a hig gantry, is the abyss well remaining]

“OK my oceanic brethren. Ready yourselves – I think we'll deal with that manky fishfinger Mako first. Mako? Come here, you, you, COD!



[I run up into range, aggro him, and then run back to where my Virtea are just starting to rouse themselves. Mako puts up a little defense, but he's no match for us. He falls, screaming his impotent rage at being killed by the thing he wished to become (literally, I mean – his dialogue is v nice) ]

“Yes, yes, prostrate at my feet, that's where I like my enemies...Now for Scirocco...



“At him, lads! Oh, careful, he's got some terrible wind. Stay in front of him, or hit him with one hand and keep the other one over your nose like I'm doing! Gah! They say everything he touches turns to evil - obviously he touches his own armpits a lot!

[Scirocco's a little more trouble, he gets a few lucky knocks in and I have to Placate him lol, but he drops too. ( small typo in Scirocco's dialogue “Call of your pets now” should be “Call off...”]

“Where's Black Scorpion? Ah, up there? Time to squash a bug. Come on, you blockhead, that's it, get angry! Oof, ha, what's that? I've had bigger than you, dearie, you don't impress me with your muscles and your big dangly thing with that bulbous red end!



[Black scorpion is up on a gantry to the right, above and behind Scirocco. The spawning of the AVs (Actually EBs because of my difficulty) has been a stroke of luck. Recluse is behind the little control room at the far left; this means I can take out his lieutenants one by one, finishing off with him, which is nicely dramatic. Another mechanical thing involved that makes my Ally management much easier, is that midway through every fight, some Virtea minions spawn somewhere on the map, with an accompanying appropriate piece of dialogue. This uses up spawn points of course, and a side effect of that (or the main effect, if you intentionally did this) is that this room is mercifully sparse of random mobs for my Allies to aggro and run off, potentially aggroing the other EBs before I'm ready for them.

Black Scorpion's fight is a bit harder again – he seems to take a bit more of a beating, but as long as I leave the fighting mostly up to my allies, I'm not in any great worry about defeating him. He goes down eventually]

“Oh yes, I'm getting a taste for this now, my boys. There's another abyss well over there, you take care of the soldiers guarding it, and I'll summon that ethereal bint Ghost Widow...

[GW spawns back down at the front of the room, so I lead my allies back along the gantry and down to where she is. She's the hardest yet. For a moment I even think she's going to waste Redjaw, but she switches to the Khan before he's in danger]

"Oh, you! I've had my eye on you for a long time, you creepy little strumpet! Come on, darling - give us a kiss!



[She drops, and then there's only...]

“Lord Recluse! Your time is at an end, you throwback! Grovel before my slippers, or feel the scaly fists of my mighty generals! Ah, you wish to fight, eh? Idiot! Cretin! Moron! Get some!



[Phew. As is his wont, LR is the most difficult. He has some friends of course lol, and he kills two of my allies, leaving only Redjaw and the Khan. We still defeat him, however, and the Virtea exult at their victory! I'm King of the Rogue Isles!]



[exit]

“And that, Clementine, my dear, is how I raised an army of fish-men from their marine bondage, became a god, defeated that oaf lord Recluse, and became Ruler of the Rogue Isles! No, really, I did! Come now, how could I possibly lie to someone as...innocent as you, hmm?

“What's that? ...ah, well of course Lord Recluse is still up on the giant video screens and whatnot, and yes, Mako and Scirocco and that crowd can still be seen occasionally in Grandville. They're robot simulacra, my sweet naive darling. Why? Well think of poor old Lord Recluse when he was alive – Statesman and all those heroes trying to arrest him, other villains trying to kill him, and look what happened to him in the end? ME! Now I don't want that sort of thing happening to me, do I? It makes FAR more sense to just stay here on my yacht in the peaceful waters of Nerva and let my figurehead robots take all the heat. The Virtea? Why haven't you seen any Virtea, is that what you're saying? Well I've got Arachnos, what do I need a lot of smelly rubber-faced fishmen slobbering up the place for? I told them all to go swim out to sea and just flob about. Yes, you're nodding now...ah, the brainlessness of youth...what? Oh, nothing, sugarpie. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. Here, have another honeyed prune, they're good for the digestion...now then, gorgeous, guess what I've got down below? A leviathan's horn! Would you like to see it? Oh, ahumm, ah-hm-hm-hm, I bet you would, you naughty girl! Yes, that's right, down that hatch. Below decks! ...let us descend...”

[lol. The arc's written ending actually states outright that LR etc are dead, and that the Player is now the Ruler of the Rogue isles and that soon the world shall follow. Tarquin might be spinning his companion a line, or he might be telling the truth. I know which I think lol.]

[end]

This arc took me AGES to finish. Not because it's massively long, although it is for sure a longish one. It took me so long because of the last mission. It's such a great setup that I really wanted it to work, hence the (pointless lol) restart.

Up until Mission 5, I was thinking the arc was a good 4-stars. I liked the plot, the Virtea were cool, it was a nicely evil villainous arc, and Tarquin was having fun. The negatives were the sometimes irritating allies (That escort in Mission 1 is a PitA, tbh) and the fact that the writing could do with some polishing in places I think (An example is the final debriefing, which is a bit abrupt and has a last line which I feel could be improved). I'm also not a giant fan of those triple brackets you use.

About 20 seconds into Mission 5 however, the arc suddenly became 5-star material when I realised what was happening. Lord Recluse and his 4 lieutenants versus me and my army. Diamond.

Of course, initially I had difficulties with it, but when I restarted it and played it as I guess you intended, it worked like a charm. I felt awesome as I cleared the EBs one by one in that last room.

The only thing I personally didn't really take to was the ending which sort of rips me right out of canon lol, but as you can see, a little bit of imagination and bang-I'm back in it again.

5-stars. You can't really get more villainous than taking over the whole of the Rogue Isles. Good show.





Eco

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

One question - too many screenshots in my runs? Initially I was going for 2 o3 3 per arc, but now it looks like I'm using 2 or 3 per mission at times. Any comments?

Eco.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

Your call, MCM. Whatever you like is good to go.

Eagerly awaiting your examinations of "Fox Hunt" and "Hammer and Sickle of Paragon City."

I actually started adding screen shots to my reviews after seeing how good they looked embedded in your reviews. It is pretty time consuming, but I think the result really helps show a window into the arc that is being reviewed, especially for people who aren't the author and may not know anything about the arc.

Personally, I take about 20 to 50 screen shots during a play through of a story arc. I try to catch action scenes, snippets of dialog, nice visuals, that sort of thing. When editing together my review, I find about 90% of my screen shots are crap (special effects from powers obscure everything, weird camera angle or poses because I'm trying to fight an AV at the same time I'm taking screen shots, etc.) and I winnow down the screen shots to the best 2 to 5 pictures, which I end up posting.

As for suggestions on how you do things in this thread, one thing I might suggest is that you re-size your larger screen shots to be a little smaller, in order to fit within the typical column width of forum messages. The very wide screen shots tend to blow away the column formatting, making it hard to read the text.

I took over 500 screenshots for The Descender. I usually spam the printscreen button during a fight ( panning around during combat can sometimes be risky so sometimes I set the right angle up before aggroing-I prefer shots where the Players front is visible to consoley 'look at my ***' shots) and then after every mission cut them down to 10 or so, then at the end I choose tge ones that fit the review best. I also set up a few 'special' shots for glowies or other objectives if they seem amusing enough.

I dont like photobucket but I'm stuck with ot I guess. Its a pita to use. I'll try to reduce the shot sizes (again lol-in pb they're invariably smaller than they appear in my thread).*

Eco*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

Well thanks for the ego-boost! lol I'll keep doing what I do, I guess

I just spent 40 minutes reducing the sizes of the largest screenshots in the Descender run, however, and they're still showing up larger here. Photobucket is really teeth-grindingly annoying.

Eco

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

Introduction to Chaos
Arc ID: 388683
Level Range: 30 -54

Replacement for the one I took it down. Same idea... I fixed what was bugging the crap out of me. I didn't if you had a topic specificly for group sessions but I'd figure this would be something better suited for a group effort. The last Mission features two AV fights.

Ooh, ooh, a Coralax-related arc! *marks for playing before reading beyond Mission 1* As always another great review review with another 'interesting personality' to play with XD In regards to the screenshots, although I didn't read the whole review as indicated above, I skimmed through the screenshots and there did seem to be a few too many, like just battlecaps rather than shots that help the reader to visualise something that your character commenting on. I wouldn't say reduce it to 2 or 3 an arc, definitely not, just cut it down a bit.

Azerrath, I solo all my runs for this thread, and as you've raised the level range too, I'm not sure your arc's really suitable if it needs a team.

Can I also repeat:

NO MORE SUBMISSIONS UNTIL I ASK, PLEASE.

Lol it looks like I'm going to have to put this on every page.



Eco.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

Re; screenshot sizes - I[ve tried to resize them in photobucket again, and now, even though the shots here as they appear in the forum are much larger than the actual soze in photobucket, my thread width (on my monitor which is at 1280 x 1024) is the same as PW's (I just took that one as a reliable sensible width). Hope that's better now

Eco.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

MCM, do you think you can re-review my arcs? Just a quick run-through with maybe a 5000 - 10,000 word narrative... each, suitable for re-publishing (so make sure to go over it several time before you post it, please). About ten screenies per arc (2 per mission) should suffice. Take your time. Heck, I don't need it until Wednesday. Thanks a bunch.

~Dalghryn~
<Pretending it's already April 1st, since it was just too sweet an opportunity to pass up.>

Yaaay MCM is back! ^^

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrCaptainMan Don't Freak, Arc ID 384058 by @Gypsy Rose

Browser lists it as 384769.

Now THAT was a fun review to read. I love seeing people really just immerse themselves in my stories and you did just that, especially with all the in character dialog. Your review has encouraged me to take up pen once again and write some more arcs. Thanks a bunch!

I admit I post this with a little trepidation lol.

A Hero in Need ...is a Friend Indeed!, Arc ID 375018 by @Wrong Number. Long (3 small, 1 unique, 1 medium map), Heroic, lvl range 5-14. This is WNs entry into Dr Aeon's second Challenge, and the description says that Statesman is wanting to see me. 48 plays, 5-stars as I start.

I'm going to take my new Kin/DP defender Rasputin Garrett (currently lvl 2) in.




“Hello, hello. This is agent Rasputin Garrett, parallel 5318008, reportink in as per my instructions...I expect the Kommittee for Public Information Protection will obscure anything ideologically dangerous, as usual? Da. There is a lot of information publically available here that should be prevented from reaching the masses, in my opinion - If I had my way, Olka, Hannah Montana would be [CENSORED] and [CENSORED], for startinks.

“So, Olka, how are the kids? Still drivink you up the wall, are they? Aha haha.

“This parallel is a strange place, Olka. Capitalism is rife here, and [CENSORED] is available in abundance for whoever wishes to stuff his bourgiose face with it! Incredible!

“Last week I was explorink the area of Independence Port when I met the Statesman. Yes, Olka, it was he! I thought I had been keepink my [CENSORED] down, but he called me over and asked me for help! I decided that in order to not break my cover, I should assist the imperialist swine in whatever he was wantink me to do.

“It turned out that the greatest hero of this parallel was losink his powers! Ah, the sweet irony! He told me some feeble excuse for not alerting Blue Steel or his other associates, but I saw through him – he was ashamed, Olka!

[Statesmans briefing contains this: “my powers have quickly dissipated over the last few days”, which seems slightly odd to me – a few days doesn't gel with 'quickly']

“He felt that the loss of his powers was connected to the theft of three magical objects. They had all been brought to Kings Row. Ah, Olka, that the key to the downfall of such a 'great man' should lie in the heartland of the proletariat was like the singink of angels to my ears. I wanted to laugh in his face and say “Ha! Where were you when the strikers of Industrial Avenue needed help in stoppink the blacklegs from crossink their picket lines, eh, big man?”

“But, I remembered my mission, and kept quiet. The first artifact that I was to regain was beink held by the Circle of Thorns. I have reported before on this ancient cult, Olka. I have no love to spare for them. They are cretins, wanderink like blind children in the darkness of antiquity. They worship the wrong gods, Olka, and the magic they foster is the wrong sort of magic. If only Tsar Vladimir could bring the glory of [CENSORED] here...

Mission 1: Retrieve Artifact



“But I had a job to do. Statesman gave me a map to the underground lair of the Circle. I found it, and took down those so called 'mystics' like nine-poles! Deep in the warrens, I accosted the wizard leader of the coven, and demanded he give up what he had stolen! He started babbling about [CENSORED] but I am thinkink he was just tryink to pull my legginks. I let him have both barrels, and then I located the think I had come for. It was an urn of some kind. It smelt sort of [CENSORED]. I rushed it back to Statesman.

[exit]

“He was happy to have it, but it turned out to not be the item responsible for the loss of his powers. Ah well, as Crown Prince Trotsky said, if at first you don't succeed, send them to the Gulag, ah ha ha ha. I had to try again. The next item on the list was an idol, in the possession of the Council. Okepokey, as they say here.

Mission 2: Retrieve Idol

“The Council. Fascists. They weren't goink to get very long shrift from me, that was for sure. Da. In I went.



“I located the idol, which was sort of [CENSORED] and, to be frank, [CENSORED]. But also, unfortunately, I noticed some [CENSORED] lying around the place. That wasn't good. I figured I'd better find the villain in charge of the base and beat some information out of him.

“I found him in the command center of the base, preparing to [CENSORED]. He had the nerve to call me heartless! I am afraid I wiped the ceilink with him.

[exit]

“Statesman took the idol, with no shortage of [CENSORED], but it wasn't the right object! Typical inefficiency of the capitalist classes. If this decadent world was under the safekeepink of Tsarist Communism, we would have the object in question by now. Tch! But I digress from my report. I would have to go and get the third possible artifact. This was a computer beink held by a hellion called Backfire. I was getting tired of beink at the Statesman's Beckham Call, as they say here, but I couldn't risk blowink my cover, so I went along to this Hellion's hideout.

Mission 3: Defeat Backfire and Retrieve Possessed Computer

“It was but a matter of moments to locate the computer. Some hellions tried to dissuade me from my task, but they were soon shown the error of their ways. The laptop in question was switched on, showing some files concerning [CENSORED], but that was of no consequence to me. At the Imperial Commissar Training Academy in Moscow, we were taught to blindly obey the diktat of authority, no matter how [CENSORED] the [CENSORED].



“I secreted the laptop in a pockets of my voluminous cloak, and continued on my way, lookink for this Backfire dog.




“When I found him, he was angry and defensive, saying [CENSORED], [CENSORED] the [CENSORED] in the [CENSORED] with a [CENSORED]. I dealt with him severely and returned to the Statesman.

[exit]

[These three missions all follow a similar course; I enter them to retrieve an object and defeat a boss while I'm there. Another similarity they have is that in all of them, the dialogue of the bosses and the occasional patrol lets me know that something fishy is going on. WN wants spoilers to be avoided in this review, so it's difficult for me to go into much detail. I will say this, however; The idea that something isn't quite right with whatever's going on is quite vague to my eyes, with mistrust not really being aimed at any specific place or person]

“Statesman immediately said he was feelink his powers returnink, so the laptop was the right think! He was so pleased that he told me he was settink up a special Task Force and placink me in charge! This struck me as perfectly understandable. I was the perfect candidate to head a project such as this. Efficient, productive, loyal, collectivist...I headed to the PPD in Kings Row as Statesman suggested...

Mission 4: Meet Statesman at the PPD Offices

“When I entered the PPD building, it was immediately apparent that somethink was up. The police were complainink about [CENSORED] beink [CENSORED] by [CENSORED].



“I looked for the Statesman, but couldn't find him anywhere! I did find a few clues, however. One was a list of Police reports on various heroes who had been [CENSORED]. Something about them caught my eye...and then I realised! The [CENSORED] read [CENSORED]! Some more searching revealed another clue stuffed into a wastepaper bin. It was a report on [CENSORED]. He was wanted for a series of [CENSORED] and suspected of being [CENSORED] in a [CENSORED]. Niet!

[This mission is non-combat. It has a 2-story office map as the PPD, and seems a bit bare of Police unfortunately. There's also a hero here to deliver some appropriate dialogue]



[At the end of the mission, I know a bit more about the fishiness that's been occurring, but the dialogue of the bosses in missions 1-3 is still not explained.]

[exit]

"I headed back to where The Statesman had been givink me his instructions, and when I reached him I saw that [CENSORED]! As I reached him, a [CENSORED] starting [CENSORED], and the truth about the wizard, the Council leader and the Hellion was revealed! I had been duped! Luckily, the [CENSORED] continued, and [CENSORED] the [CENSORED of the [CENSORED]!

[The extra clue that gives the location of the next mission has a tense mismatch; I'd replace 'finished' with 'finishes' and 'continued' with 'continues']

Mission 5: Beat the [CENSORED] at [CENSORED]

“The Wizard I defeated earlier said he'd meet me at [CENSORED]'s hideout. I entered, and soon found Frederick, the Circle leader.



“He told me [CENSORED] was [CENSORED], and that [CENSORED]. Interestink. I continued on, and high on a gantry I found my enemy! That swine was goink to pay for [CENSORED] me! He fought me, mockink me as he did so, but it did him no good against the justice of the people! As he fell, he laughed, sayink that he would soon be back!



“I needed to find a way to [CENSORED]!

[I search the map, and I find 3 destructible objects. I also fond some clues. I guess that one of the objects is meant to be the mission-ender, and the others will presumably prompt ambushes. The clues should point me to the right object. Unfortunately, the object that stands out turns out to not be correct, an ambush appears, and I fight it and move on. I can't really see why either of the other two should be the right object from the clues, so I decide to do them both]



[They both spawn ambushes. What's going on? I'm a little confused now. I decide to push on and explore the rest of the map. The nav instructions had the clues present, one for each object. The Nav now only has one objective, to destroy the correct object. I eventually find another destructible in the far back room. It has to be the one. Sure enough, once I've cleared the room and destroyed it, the mission ends with success]

“Ha! That'll teach that joker to mess with me!

“So, Olka, say hello to Stanislaw for me, and my love to the children. Report over, Agent Rasputin Garrett signink off!”

[End]

Right, first off, the positives:

Good map choice, for the most part. The customs at the end were nicely costumed and their powerchoices were also fine. I liked the weird mix of critters in the [CENSORED]'s custom group. I had a lot of fun doing the actual fighting, and the XP got me from lvl 2 to lvl 5.8, which was nice.

Earthdude, the one custom hero you added as a non-combat dialogue delivery boy in Mission 4, looked great.

The mechanics you used were as usual flawlessly put together.

The first 3 missions were just the right length and the slightly suspicious dialogue had me intrigued as to what was going on. In fact, the first 3 missions, coupled with the 'mystery' tag, led me to expect a puzzle to be worked out.

I think this was what sort of let the arc down a bit in my eyes. It's hard to present any negatives without giving away spoilers, but I'll try to explain. My idea of a mystery is sort of like this:

1.There's a mysterious situation which proffers a fairly specific question of some sort in the players eyes, eg: Why is Bob juggling monkeys?
2.The player gets X number of clues which he recognises as being clues, but adding them up gives one or two [i]maybe]/i] solutions but nothing definite.
3.The player forms a hypothesis as to what's going on.
4.The truth is revealed and the player goes 'Ah, I was right! Yay!', or 'Ah, so that's what was happening. I see now. Clever...'

As the arc hit me, however, the initial question was never really any more concrete than 'there's something odd going on, but what is it?', and the supplementary 3 questions of what the leaders were up to wasn't answered or even mentioned again until the briefing for mission 5, which just outright explained what the truth was. There were no clues which really gave me the chance to make a supposition about them beyond anything vague.

We've had a discussion about the clues to the Big Reveal, and as I've said, I think they're too vague apart from one very good one. I think you could put some more fact-based clues into the arc to replace the ones which are more based on the likeliness of certain peoples behaviour etc.

Mission 3 can be failed, as I discovered when I was trying to get some screenshots for the run, and the boss ran away. I understand that I'm possibly the first person to even notice this, but I don't see the need to have the fail in this mission at all.

Mission 4 has great potential, but it's too sparse IMO. It's quite a large map for the limited stuff that goes on in it and it just didn't seem to represent a PPD dept to me. I think that it could be improved by using it to feed the player the truth about what happened in Missions 1-3 rather than having that in the briefing to Mission 5. Depending on whether you want more action or not, you could do this via more police reports delivered via clickies, or even have the arrested bosses in it, having 'escaped', providing some combat as well as the truth, if that's where you wanted to go. You're utterly entitled to leave it completely alone of course lol. This is all only one man's opinion after all.

Mission 5 was great up until the moment when I realised that the three clues I'd been given to help me work out which object to destroy were all irrelevant. The actual 'correct' object didn't have a clue at all, did it? This, coupled with the fact that the other three objects spawned near the front of the map, with their respective clues, and the final one at the end, without any clue or accompanying nav instruction, erroneously led me to believe that there were only 3 objects to consider. Again, I'm afraid I felt a bit robbed of the chance to use my grey matter to work out the solution to a problem. Blowing up the objects and dealing with their ambushes was not at all onerous, I enjoy that stuff, but because I felt I'd been led to expect something else, I was disappointed.

I don't want to seem unduly critical. It's got 48 plays with 5 stars, so obviously a lot of other people have no problem with it. But I have to be honest about what I think. I had a lot of fun and cleared every map, which as I've said before is a sure sign that I'm having fun. It's not a bad arc at all, but I am afraid that as it stands, I don't think it's a great mystery. I really don't want to offend, but I think it needs work to become as great as it could be.

I rated it 4-stars on this play-through.

Eco.

PS Rasputin, Matrix Stylee!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

Because it's tagged 'mystery', I guess, is why I was expecting more of a mystery-type arc. But if it's not meant to be so mysterious, then fair enough.

Eco.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."

As I said, WN, I didn't want to upset you. My criticism was well-intentioned and meant to be constructive. *Hopefully you can at least appreciate some of my simpler catches such as the tense 'typo'. As for the mystery aspect, I thought you were going for a more 'detectivey' sort of thing. My apologies for getting the wrong end of the stick.

Eco **

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow [The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."