Alright. My arcs are #1152 and #114284. Have fun!
Winner of Players' Choice Best Villainous Arc 2010: Fear and Loathing on Striga; ID #350522
Hey, why the heck not. Try my arc Power Play. I could use more feedback on it.
Always good to have more reviewers with different points of view.
Take your pick, or try them both:
#3369: Matchstick Women
level range: 25-50 (recommended)
Missions: 3
Morality: Heroic
Synopsis: A mysterious flame sends you on a trail of a cult of women arsonists. Follow the clues to their crazed leader to stop them once and for all. (1 EB)
#137561: Ctrl + Alt + Reset
Level range: 15-30
Missions: 4
Morality: Neutral
Synopsis: Foreshadow sends you to investigate a temporal artifact confiscated by Wyvern. He thinks it's more dangerous than anyone realizes and you find out he's absolutely right! But now you're stuck in a time loop and have to figure your way out.
Always good to get some fresh opinions. Feel free to have at "the Revenge of Hro'Dohz" (1356) and "Hunting the Dark Dragon" (2922).
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
I will submit:
Name: Trademark Infringement
Arc ID: 2220
Name: Death to Disco!
Arc ID: 84420
Thanks,
WN
Check out one of my most recent arcs:
457506 - A Very Special Episode - An abandoned TV, a missing kid's TV show host and more
416951 - The Ms. Manners Task Force - More wacky villains, Wannabes. things in poor taste
or one of my other arcs including two 2010 Player's Choice Winners and an2009 Official AE Awards Nominee for Best Original Story
Go ahead and try The History of Statesman (219484), looking forward to your feedback. Keep in mind that this arc is swarming with tributes, so if you don't understand something chances are it's some sort of reference.
Always up for anothe ropinion and a bit of free publicity:
Chris Jenkins: Attorney at Law - 204942
Lvls 1-14 Heroside Humor (1 mission arc)
Standing Within the Mists - 209473
Lvl 16-40 Villain Drama (5 mission arc)
Choose either/or/both -- I'm happy with whatever.
[ QUOTE ]
Alright. My arcs are #1152 and #114284. Have fun!
[/ QUOTE ]
I reviewed arc number 114284 on my Ice/EM tanker.
Lazy Mans Review: 4 starts, well-written, a few plot issues, good use of custom foes.
Detailed Review: The Rogue Isles are not a good place to try and be a hero. From a tyrannical government, state-sponsored super villains, and a host of other dangerous factions, heroes in the Rogue Isles find themselves in deep trouble very quickly. This arc starts when Desmonda the Glint comes to you with a typical broker mission, a bank heist of diamonds, her favorite thing in the whole wide world.
The heist goes smoothly, with security noticeably absent due to a called-in bomb threat. Guarding the bank vault however, is a group of Outcasts talking about how theyre the newest heroes in town. After you brutally beat them down and crush their hopes of heroism, you find out that theyve already moved the diamonds out of the bank to their base. Before you can find out anymore information, a clue tells you a small army of police and Arachnos forces are coming to take you down, so you leave quickly.
Confused about the mutant gang turning into wannabe heroes and distraught over losing a big score of diamonds, Desmonda hatches a plan with you to stage a kidnapping and tip of the Outcasts. Once they try and stop the kidnapping, youll beat the tar out of them and interrogate them for information. Being an egocentric diva, Desmonda plans for you to kidnap Cap Au Diables biggest celebrity, Desmonda the Glint! When you get to her opulent penthouse in Cap Au Diable, shes guarded by a detachment of Longbow who you make short work of. The Outcasts show up right on cue, led by the Human Torch poser, Firestone. After the obligatory beat down, Firestone tells you the diamonds were taken out of the bank and are being kept in the Outcasts lair in Bloody Bay. But, hes quick to explain that this isnt stealing because the diamonds are being used to help the poor and downtrodden.
Desmonda has used her contacts in Arachnos to secure a Flyer to take you to Bloody Bay. When you hit the ground, you find yourself caught in the middle of a fight between the Circle of Thorns and the Outcasts. After beating up some Outcasts, you come upon the leader of the Thorn contingent, the evil mage Taramex explains to you that the diamonds were actually mystical totems being used by the Circle. Hes willing to trade you real diamonds for the mystical ones.
Jumping to accept Taramexs lucrative deal, you head into the Outcasts underground lair. Aided by a few Spectral Demons sent by the Circle of Thorns, you leave a path of destruction throughout the base. The faux diamonds are kept in a crate, but its locked and you dont want to break it for fear of damaging the mystical totems. So you soldier on deeper into the base and defeat a Shivan named Jiggles, who seems to be under the control of the Outcasts. After you defeat the Shivan, you can fish the key to the crate out of his ectoplasmic remains.
All thats left now is to make the trade with Taramex, mystical stones for real diamonds. You head to the meeting point expecting a double-cross, but are pleasantly surprised by a last ditch attack by the Outcasts. Fighting them off alongside Taramexs minions, you confront their leader, Tunguska. Tunguska combines mutant powers with additional mutations given from the Bloody Bay meteors. Hes a tough customer, especially backed to the hilt by controlled Shivans and loyal Outcast flunkies. He goes down however, and you make the tradeoff with Teramax and head back to a very happy Desmonda the Glint.
Story: Very solid plot. Most things make a lot of sense. I especially enjoyed the use of the Circle of Thorns which reflected their canonical interest in the Bloody Bay meteors. There a few things I didnt understand, the biggest issue was why the Outcasts were becoming heroes and why they were doing it in the Rogue Isles. Theyre a Paragon City street gang, and I think you should explain why theyre heroes and what theyre doing in Cap Au Diable. I understand that theyre protecting the Bloody Bay citizens, but I just think it could be explained better.
My other issue was in the second mission. It doesnt make sense for Longbow to be guarding Desmonda the Glint. Longbow is a semi-governmental militia group thats trying to undermine Lord Recluses regime and is occupying part of the Nerva Archipelago. Other than covert operations, they have no presence in Cap Au Diable, and even they did, theyd be trying to arrest/kill a criminal broker rather than protect her. Id suggest replacing with the Rogue Isles Police. Theyd be more than willing to protect a wealthy celebrity with ties to Arachnos.
Technical: The custom adversaries were balanced extremely well, and they felt just like fighting another member of the Outcasts. The Cthonic is in the all custom characters faction by accident, Id suggest fixing that. Also, the unannounced defeat all in mission 4 is very, very annoying. It frustrated me a great deal, and should be changed or at least announced by the contact in the mission briefing.
Grammar/Spelling: No problems that my grammar-retarded mind could perceive.
It's always nice to have another reviewer around these parts and after looking at your first review, I think I'll give this a shot. My two arcs are in my sig. Blitzkrieg is a 45-50 hero arc starring Malta while Soldiers of Fortune is a 30-35 villain arc starring the Sky Raiders and a custom group I created. If you must review one, Soldiers needs a bit more help than Blitzkrieg, so I would review that one. However, I would certainly appreciate it if you could run both if you have the time.
My arcs:
Title: Blitzkrieg
Arc ID: 3416
Title: Soldiers of Fortune
Arc ID: 4431
Title: The Rikti Accession
Arc ID: 278757
Thanks for your review. The Longbow weren't so much guarding Desdemona as having showed up lured by the same trickery that got the Outcasts interested. They're hoping to catch you as you come to kidnap her. I'm also assuming that her role as a criminal broker isn't known to the public. I think her contact info describes her as some kind of celebrity.
Winner of Players' Choice Best Villainous Arc 2010: Fear and Loathing on Striga; ID #350522
[ QUOTE ]
Hey, why the heck not. Try my arc Power Play. I could use more feedback on it.
[/ QUOTE ]
I reviewed this arc on my Ice/EM tanker.
Lazy Mans Review: 4 Stars. Great story, first person narrative, treats your character like a real villain, tough custom mob.
Mad scientists enjoy a lot of things, evil laughter, techno babble, conducting dangerous experiments with human tests subjects, and a whole host of other pleasures. Mad scientists dont enjoy competition however, so when Dr. Thaddeus Aeon finds out that Dr. Creed is working on an advanced android project, he wants you to break into Creeds lab, steal the information on the project, and capture Dr. Creed.
You have other plans, and after wreaking havoc on Creeds laboratory, defeating his powerful VAL (villainous artificial life-forms) minions, you realize the treacherous Dr. Aeon is not to be trusted. Therefore, you offer to ally with Mercys mad genius against Aeon, but plan to betray both Aeon and Creed before they betray you. Once the two scientists have exhausted each others resources, you will take control of the VAL project and have an army of robotic flunkies. When you return to Cap Au Diable and meet with Dr. Aeon, you tell him only that you have Creeds schematics, and Aeon sends you into a covert Longbow base to upload the plans for HAL (heroic artificial life-form,) the android hero that Creed was basing the VAL off of.
You tip off Doctor Creed about your attack, and he dispatches a VAL to assist you. With the insidious android as backup, you make short work of the Longbow defenders (along with intimidating a computer technician with a hate-on for Dell into giving you access codes,) and confront HAL X-34 himself. The heroic automaton puts up a valiant fight, but is defeated and you download the schematics from the computer grid.
Despite your smashing success, Doctor Aeon treats you like nothing more than another faceless Arachnos goon. He even has the gall to send you all the way to Paragon City on a meaningless Clockwork hunting mission while hes busy analyzing the HAL schematics. He lets slip that the Goldbrickers, in their capacity as covert operatives for Dr. Aeon, captured Creed and are holding and interrogating him. Rather than taking a meaningless trip to go, hunt, and kill Clockwork, you rescue Dr. Creed and kill the Goldbrickers, leaving Aeon in the dark about your treachery.
Blaming obstructionist bureaucrats for your inability to hunt Clockwork, you listen with glee as Aeon tells you how Creed somehow freed himself from the Goldbrickers. Since Aeon cannot involve Arachnos with this operation (he was planning on taking personal control of the VAL rather than giving it to Lord Recluse,) he sends you to find and recapture Creed.
This plays into your strategy perfectly, as you actually get the location of Aeons secret laboratory from Creed and then attack it. Using a computer virus given to you by Dr. Creed, you turn Aeons VAL soldiers rouge, and they slaughter the Arachnos guards in short order. You then proceed to destroy the evil automations and beat Doctor Aeon to a bloody pulp before he teleports away. With Aeon removed, you plan to take control of the VAL system and enjoy your new robotic army.
Alas, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. In typical mad scientist fashion, Dr. Aeon did a poor job programming the leader of the VAL, VAL-X3. She refuses to obey anyone, and instructs the other VAL to kill you. Forced to destroy the very automations you hoped to control and lead, the VAL-X3 is reduced a pile of smoldering rubble, Creed is back on Mercy Isle safe from Aeons retribution, and Aeon agrees not to pursue vengeance against you in exchange for your continued silence about his unauthorized experiments.
Story: Excellent. No discernable plot holes that I can see. The plot was complex enough to keep me engrossed, but I always understood what was happening. The only thing I have any confusion over is the Clockwork reference, I really dont get why Aeon needed them. I assumed he just wanted them for another experiment, and sent you to get them because he treated you like a lackey. The first person narrative was a refreshing change, so was your character being the betrayer rather than the fool who gets betrayed.
Technical: The custom mob was a bit overpowered in my opinion. I had to drop down a few difficulty settings because I got slaughtered in the first mission by the VALs. They enjoy a brutal synergy created by the buffs/debuffs of kinetics, and the endurance sapping powers of their attacks. As a tanker, I had my toggles collapse more than a few times, and found myself defenseless and quickly mezzed once that happened. I think youd be well off adding one or two more VAL types, perhaps easy melee ones for variety and to make the mob more balanced.
Grammar/Spelling: No problems I could see.
I'll throw another arc on the pile. 
191775 - How The Other Half Lives
It's a solo-friendly hero arc for levels 43-54. Thanks!
99458: The Unbearable Being of Lightness
191775: How the Other Half Lives
My Webcomics
Just to add to your ever-growing pile of arcs to play/review.
The Horsemen Chronicles (Part 1): Arc Id#195149
Play my MA arcs!
Tracking Down Jack Ketch - ArcID #2701
Cat War! - ArcID #2788
Can you review my arc The Audition, please? Its ID is 221240. It's a 6-mission comedy arc in 2 parts. I recommend a high level damage dealer and strongly advise (I'd insist if I could LOL) difficulty lvl one, which is what it's balanced for. Hope you enjoy it.
Eco
MArcs:
The Echo, Arc ID 1688 (5mish, easy, drama)
The Audition, Arc ID 221240 (6 mish, complex mech, comedy)
Storming Citadel, Arc ID 379488 (lowbie, 1mish, 10-min timed)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow
[The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."
|
I'll throw 'Deal with The Devil's Pawn' #207266 onto the bonfire. 
It's a CoT mission with a couple of customs (one's the boss).
No AV/EBs
No AV/EBs Deal with The Devil's Pawn-207266 Slash DeMento and the Stolen Weapons-100045 Meet the Demon Spawn-151099 Feedback
I'll take a review on my first arc: 207750
[IMG]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y263/parker_daoc/CoH/layoutcopy.png[/IMG]
[url=http://justicecorps.guildportal.com/Guild.aspx?GuildID=337077&TabID=2821537]Justice Corps[/url] on Virtue Server! ... @Strongwall
Try out mine: The Ballad of Murky Thecat - #77311
Thanks!
Take Care,
BinkDeBook
Virtue: CaptainMayhem-50 Inv/SS Tank; NaomiArmitage-50 DM/Inv Scrap; Captn Randomizer-50 MC/Kin Cntrller; Murky Thecat-50 Claws/SR Scrap; Professor Junk-50 Bots/Traps MM; +Others Arc Id #77311, #227436
[ QUOTE ]
Always good to have more reviewers with different points of view.
Take your pick, or try them both:
#3369: Matchstick Women
level range: 25-50 (recommended)
Missions: 3
Morality: Heroic
Synopsis: A mysterious flame sends you on a trail of a cult of women arsonists. Follow the clues to their crazed leader to stop them once and for all. (1 EB)
#137561: Ctrl + Alt + Reset
Level range: 15-30
Missions: 4
Morality: Neutral
Synopsis: Foreshadow sends you to investigate a temporal artifact confiscated by Wyvern. He thinks it's more dangerous than anyone realizes and you find out he's absolutely right! But now you're stuck in a time loop and have to figure your way out.
[/ QUOTE ]
Lazy Man's Review: 3 stars. Plot holes damage a good story. Well-balanced custom. Tough but fun EB fight at the end.
Trying a new format after reading an in-character review over on the EU boards. I reviewed Matchstick Women with my Ice/EM tanker and rated three stars. I wrote the plot summary in character this time, which I'm going to try to continue when I can. This let me practice my writing and any feedback would be nice.
The names Baldwin, Sean Baldwin and Im an agent of Longbow. I wont bore everyone with the details of my life, but Ive got this battlesuit that channels my control over energy into ice armor and energy punches, and a few other tricks. As I sit in the Officers Club bar drinking a vodka and tonic, I think back on what happened today and how weird the whole damn thing was.
It all started when I was making the rounds about Kings Row, testing out some improvements to the battlesuit stability systems. I came around the corner running at sixty miles an hour, my sensor array warned of a massive temperature spike. What it didnt tell me was where it was coming from. I lower my array and engage my visual scanning, and see a flame just floating in the air ahead of me. Damn was that fire beautiful, the flames licking around the air, just suspended against gravity. I look closer and I see shapes begin to form, a young girl being horribly burnt, and then a horde of women forming from her body. Then I see a burning building filled with Council, and I hear an alarm clarion blaring. Looking around, I realize thats not a picture in the fire, but whats around me. Somehow Id been transported right into the middle of a Council base, and it was on fire.
A quick glance at my GPS system shows me Im still in Paragon, just in an underground facility in Boomtown. Probably was a superhero base before the Rikti leveled the whole neighborhood. Well, the Council sure as hell are surprised to see me, and I quickly dispatch a small squad of Council agents who are trying to fight the fire. Rounding a corner, looking for the exit, I see a small team of Council goons shooting at three women. The women all are wearing matching orange and black costumes, and their sending bursts of fire towards the Council soldiers. One of the women is screaming some gibberish about cleansing the world. Whatever they are, they cant be good, so I move up and engage them in combat. There fire bursts pack a nasty wallop, especially when your armor is made of cryogenically suspended ice. Theyre still not able to withstand my energy-backed fists, but my armor is blaring a warning about cryogenic armor failure impendent.
Thankfully, there was only one more group of crazy fire women, and after stopping them, I open the sprinkler values in the Council base and make a quick exit. As soon as I exit I see that suspended flame again, as beautiful as before. Looking into it, I see a neighborhood in panic, where teenagers are being tortured with flames by the same mysterious women who were trying to burn down the Council base. Just as before, I am somehow immediately taken to the neighborhood in question just by looking into the flame. Once there, I witness a young girl surrounded by a cage of fire, moaning in pain and terror. Shes surrounded by three of the costumed arsonists, who are calling themselves the Matchstick Women. I catch them by surprise and floor them with energy charged blows. The girl is safe, although traumatized, and I quickly whip around the block and find two more trapped women. The element of surprise isnt on my side this time, and the Matchstick Women give as good as they get, in a fight that leaves them unconscious or worse, and my armor badly damaged.
One of the now freed prisoners isnt afraid or upset, rather shes talking about how the fire changed her and that shed like to fight alongside me and payback the leader of her captors. I can use the help, and we find the leader of this perverse recruitment drive. My new ally gives her a taste of her own burning medicine, and together we put her down for the count. One of the women, seemingly another leader, offers to help us. I dont trust her, but she tells me that the groups leader, Emily, has gone completely insane and now wants to burn everyone to cleanse them. Sounds like a real sick cult to me, the members even get their faces scared to keep them from leaving.
I call Longbow and have them send a support team to secure the area and round up the cultists. No sooner do I end the conversation, as that floating flame appears on my sensors again. Looking into it, I see a burning building that I somehow know is the Matchstick Womens headquarters. This time, Im prepared for transportation and ready all my armors defenses in case Im emerging right into a trap.
Now in the burning building itself, I look around and see members of the Matchstick Women resigned to a death by burning. Most of them even seem happy. Theyre not happy to see me though, and they come at me with fire blazing. Im ready for the attack, and manage to take them down with minimal damage to my armor. The only part of the building that isnt consumed by flame is a bookshelf carrying The Hunchback of Notre Dame and a journal, I grab both the books and store them in my armors internal carrying system. After this detour I head deeper into the inferno, hoping to find either Emily or an exit. I find both.
I find the exit when I see a doorway leading to outside, and I find Emily when I feel myself toppling over. A warning pops up on my sensor array telling me that heat damage has destroyed automatic gyros and I needed to switch to fully manual movement. I do so, and I get up just in time for Emily to send a lance of fire into my shoulder. The ice armor completely melts away where she it, and she screams something about cleansing me from my sin. I run at her, absorbing another fire blast as I do so, and smash an energy-assisted uppercut across her jaw. As she goes airborne, I follow up by grabbing her and planning tossing her against the nearest wall.
As soon I grab on to her I realize I made a mistake, as my hands completely shut down and another computer warning tells me the hands have sustained calamitous temperature shift and I need to shift power from the armor cooling system to fix it. I grit my teeth and do so, and the heat hits me like a wave. Now that the armors air conditioning has been rerouted, I feel the burning building and sweat starts to just pour off me. Thats gets put out of my mind when Emily blasts the ceiling with fire and tries to drop a steel beam on my head. This is her big mistake because the beam I can catch. Having caught her metallic missile, I swing it as an erstwhile club towards her. The first blow knocks her down, the second one turns her head into the consistency of chunky salsa. Putting the steel beam down I head outside, the buildings heat now starting to burn through my armor. I simply let myself fall out of the fourth story of what I now know is an abandoned Kings Row apartment and hit the ground cushioned by the armor.
At the bar, Im drawn away from my thoughts by finishing my drink and needing to order another one. This was one of those days that left me with more questions than answers. What the hell was that mysterious flame? Why were the Matchstick Women targeting a Council base? How did they imbue superpowers into people by burning them? With Emily dead and the cult imprisoned, dead, or hiding, Ill probably never know.
Story: Good basic plot, evil arsonist cult trying to burn everything and themselves. There were a lot of plot holes however. The contact was probably the biggest one, I just dont get what this mysterious flame is and how its transporting me to all these sites. It was kind of implied that it was the good side of Emily, but that was fairly oblique and a lot of people may not have picked up on that. In the first mission, Im not sure why I dont just leave the Council base and let it burn. Id suggest setting it underground (like I did in my narrative above) and saying the exit is on the other side of the base. In the second mission, I understand what the Matchstick Women are doing (recruiting) but I dont understand how torturing women with fire makes them want to join the cult, or how it gives them superpowers. The third mission is very good and very well written. I also feel like the first mission is superfluous and vague, why are the Matchstick Women targeting a Council base? Arent there less well defended places to burn? How do they even know where it is?
Technical: The green matchstick women were annoying because of their heals, but that only added an enjoyable challenge to the custom group, which was well balanced. I found Emily to be a real challenge, and I had to pop a lot of inspirations to beat her. It felt like an epic, end of the arc fight. Very good technically, my only suggestion would be making the ally hostage rescue in mission 2 more obvious so someone doesnt rescue her last accidentally.
Spelling/Grammar: No problems.
OK, I'll toss mine into the ring. Arc #227331 - "The Consequences of War." Though, in the interest of being fair, though LJ was a bit tough with me, he pointed out some things that ended up making me change the story for the better. The occasional evisceration *can* be helpful, I guess.
The SOLUS Foundation - a Liberty and Pinnacle SG
"The Consequences of War" - Arcs # 227331 and 241496
[ QUOTE ]
Always good to get some fresh opinions. Feel free to have at "the Revenge of Hro'Dohz" (1356) and "Hunting the Dark Dragon" (2922).
[/ QUOTE ]
I reviewed this on my Ice/EM Tanker. Special thanks to Articca, an Ice/Rad controller for helping me out.
Lazy Mans Review: 2.5 stars, bunch of plot holes, poor use of canon faction, good custom mob, Bronze Age of Comics style plot.
The babbling techie seated next to me in the Longbow debriefing room keeps rambling on about my armors cryogenic shielding performance readout, gyroscopic stabilization problems, and sensor suite vulnerabilities to magical attacks. I consider shooting myself, but instead I just think back about the training simulation that I had run this morning. It had been created by the nerds in the tech division because of a M.A.G.I. report about the Circle of Thorns looking into to summoning some dragon monsters from another dimension. Along with Articca, another superagent, I ran through the simulation. Once we was done with the simulation, I realized two things. The Circle of Thorns better not summon dragons, and the men in the tech division need to stop using so many psychotropic drugs.
In the start of the simulation, Peter Stemitz asks for your help in preventing the Circle of Thorns from summoning dragons. Apparently, the mystical spirit in his head told him a Circle mage named Rollister may have already summoned one. Naturally, Articca and I are deployed into a Circle hideaway to investigate and terminate the Circles nefarious plan. After blasting our way through a few guards, we stumble upon Rynn. Shes got the face of a dragon, but is about as tall as a large human, and walks on two legs. Shes talking about a rock concert and getting hit with a tornado that transported her here to Earth. She offers to help us fight the Circle and rescue the three other dragons they abducted. Once Articca and I get over our surprise about dragons going to a rock concert, we gladly take Rynn up on her offer.
With Rynn by our side, we dispatch another horde of minions, and rescue a duo of dragons. One of them is a dragon rocker named Player, while the other is named Pik, who was the drummer in the draconic rock band. Player wants to help you defeat Rollister, while Pik runs outside to get a cell phone signal. Dragons? Cell phones? At this point I already feel like this is some techies acid trip. This feeling only increases when we rescue Officer Blake, a dragon police officer who was working security at the concert that the dragons got mystically summoned from.
The battle against Rollister is no joke however, as he uses his powers over the psyche to cripple Articca and our draconic allies. Luckily, my armor has psychic baffling, and Im practically immune to his powers. A well-placed haymaker sends Rollister flailing into the air, and I throw another punch when he hits the ground. This one puts Rollister into a surrendering mood and he tries to tell me about how they needed to summon the dragons to fight fire with fire. Apparently, the Circle of Thorns summoned a Dark Dragon who was now trying to kill them.
Stemiz next explains that if the Circle of Thorns was going to summon something as powerful as this Dark Dragon must be, theyd have done it on Thorn Isle. Apparently, the Thorn Trees presence can prevent mystics from sensing the kind of disturbance that would have occurred from summoning something so powerful.
When Articca and I arrive at Thorn Isle, we find a conspicuous absence of Circle of Thorns and instead, the area is swarming with the deadly agents of the Malta Group. We fight our way into the bowels of Thorn Isle, and along the way we free a surviving Circle of Thorns cultist. He explains how the Dark Dragon couldnt be controlled by the Circle of Thorns, and he slaughtered most of them before somehow allying himself with the Malta Group. By the time Articca and I confront the Malta squad commander, Fiction Green Epsilon, shes bloody and bruised and my armor is blaring warnings left and right about a damage overload. We both have the power of flight, and we go vertical above the Malta leader. He tries to bring his pistols to bear on me, but Articcas control over ice locks down him and his men in a frozen prison. After that, its easy to beat them down into submission.
For a hardened assassin, Fiction Green Epsilon breaks easily and tells me everything. The Dark Dragon was from a world familiar with technology and offered the Thorn Tree to Malta in exchange for their services. Malta is currently working for him to fulfill their part of the bargain. Due to the Maltas involvement, Steintz brings in counterintelligence expert Crimson. Crimson knows that Malta could be sheltering the Dark Dragon at their Warburg robotics plant. A stolen Arachnos flyer allows us to get near the base without raising suspicion, and Articca and I make short work of the door guards, and enter the facility. Inside, were treated to a brutal fight against Sister Hecate. Her knives draw blood against Articca, and a vicious cut into Articcas stomach leaves her dead. Good thing this is only a simulation, and shes uploaded right back, good as new. Hecates a nimble enemy, but we pin her down in a corner and Articca sends a razor sharp icicle through Hecates chest.
Rounding the corner in search of the Dark Dragon, we instead find an ambush of Space Pirates. Yes I said Space Pirates, complete with gibberish and powerful force fields. The Space Pirates are guarding a safe with a blueprint for an Arachnos submarine base in Paragon City. When we get back to see Steintz, hes as baffled as we are by the involvement of Space Pirates. We understand that the Dark Dragon wants to conquer this submarine base, and we need to get the base and finally confront him. Malta and the Space Pirates get to the base before us, and we have to fight through a horde of them before making our way to the submarine launch station. Along the way, we rescued the Arachnos Base Commander. The submarine dock is swarming with Malta, but after killing them we cant find the Dark Dragon anywhere. What we can find is a taunting message from him telling us that we are going to be used to kill Sirocco, whos en route to the base. Apparently, the Dark Dragon had used shape shifting to take on the form of the base commander. Even in a simulation, Sirocco is a tough fight, and in the real world he probably would have wiped the floor with Articca and me. Thankfully, weve got some advantages in the form of letting him get shot up by the remaining Malta before we finish him off. Once hes weakened, we get the drop on him and take down the Middle-Eastern menace.
Now all thats left is the showdown, and conventional Longbow forces have tracked the Dark Dragon down. Hes in Faultline, and Longbow has him surrounded. Hes promised to leave if we dont go after him. We know hes a bad guy though, and Articca and I prepare to take him down. Longbow elements support us as we fight into the building, dispatching Malta and Space Pirates left and right. Once we get to the Dark Dragon, he pleads with us to let him go because hes only harmed Earths villains. Except for, you know, trying to kill me by setting me up to fight Scirocco. His pleas fall on deaf ears, and my fists soon fall on his skull, killing him and ending the simulation.
The techie still hasnt finished babbling, but Im snapped out of my reverie by Articcas sudden entrance. After some good natured ribbing about how she died more times than me, I agree to buy her a drink at the Officers Club.
Story: A good concept ruined by poor execution. Done right, this could have been an enjoyable adventure in the vein of bronze age comic books. Instead, its a mish-mash of disparate story elements, and has some severe plot holes. The dragons are wacky, but I didnt have a problem with that. What I did have a problem with is them having a way to return home automatically. Why didnt they just use it right when they got captured? The Malta Group is very poorly characterized. Theyre not mercenaries for hire, theyre a powerful paramilitary group devoted to keeping super humans under control. The Sky Raiders are mercenaries, so are the KoA. Both of these groups would have been a better choice. How did the Dark Dragon know how to contact the Malta Group, a highly covert paramilitary organization? What does the Malta Group even want with the Thorn Tree? How did the Dark Dragon hire the Space Pirates? Hes from another dimension, not outer space. I do like that the aliens speak their own language rather than English however. The third mission doesnt have a clear reason for existing. We only go to the base because Crimson suggests it, and he doesnt even have a clear reason why hes suggesting it, and all we find there is plans for the next base we attack. Whats Malta doing with plans for an Arachnos base in their Warburg robotics plant?
Technical: The pirates were well designed in my opinion. Their force fields were frustrating, but not overpowering. I really like how you made the outside of the fifth mission all Longbow forces, that clearly represents a lot of effort.
Grammar/Spelling: No problems.
Hm. Looks like I need to make the plot elements more obvious still. All but 2 of your questions were answered in the clues and briefings. Ah well. Thanks for the review.
"If I had Force powers, vacuum or not my cape/clothes/hair would always be blowing in the Dramatic Wind." - Tenzhi
Characters
I'd be pleased if you could find the time to give my two arcs (see sig) a whirl. The first is probably the stronger of the two, but I've recently done a little rejiggering to the second and would like to see how it fits these days (being out of town on vacation since then probably doesn't help , but I'll be home tomorrow).
Both have multiple plays, sit at 4 stars last I checked and are not silly-hard (at least from what my own play experience and most feedback). No EBs or AVs in either one too.
I'd be delighted on any feedback for Arc ID: 232417 - "The Hero Who Loved Me".
It is designed to be a prelude to a much larger story that will be done in future arcs. I'd appreciate any feedback.
Hope you enjoy!
Shard Warrior - 50 MA/Regen/BM Scrapper
Founding Member and Leader : Shadow-Force
Co-Leader: Council of Heroes
"Whatever evils come this way... we will be there to stop them."
[ QUOTE ]
Hm. Looks like I need to make the plot elements more obvious still. All but 2 of your questions were answered in the clues and briefings. Ah well. Thanks for the review.
[/ QUOTE ]
Where? I'm genuinely curious because I didn't see them and I read all the clues. Do you mind posting the answers and the clue text that reveals them?
Are you tired of the withering criticism poured onto your arcs by reviewers like Venture, LaserJesus, and other so-called "elites" who've never left their ivory tower filled with "tropes" and "themes?"
(What the hell are tropes anyways? I sure as hell never heard of them here in the real world.)
Well, if you're sick of these self-anointed critics tearing apart arcs for no good reason, I have a solution for you. Let me be the Mir-Hossein Mousavi to their Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. They want to wipe your arc off the map because it has no right to exist, I just want to conquer and pillage it a little bit.
Joking aside, this is my arc review thread. I'll do my best to keep current on it and provide constructive criticism along with a fair assessment. I'm probably a gentler reviewer than Venture, but don't expect five starts just for creating a custom group, I am looking for a good story.
I'll offer a brief plot summary with my review, and then breakdown three characteristics: storyline, mechanics, grammar/spelling (I'm not good at this either, but I'll point out glaring errors.) After this breakdown I'll give a star rating.
Submissions are first come first serve, if something is too hard I won't complete it and won't review it, merely just post that I couldn't finish it.