Critiques wanted but with a twist :P

After our latest forum discussion about critiques I thought id post a non finished sketch specificly for critiques so that we can all putz around with and pick apart a sketch as well as get a feel for how the critiquing process can be handled .

Screenshot of my Blaster , Jinn Anne Tonic

The rough sketch for critiqueing fun

The sketch when finished will be a spot illustration for the Virtue verse wiki entry im currently putting together for the character inquestion, Here

And as a spot illustration won't have any background or strange blasts of energy emiting from them

So a few rules

1)only post with a critique and a way fix it . posting "nice pic" will get you a boot to the hind quarters

2)extra points for doodling on the sketch itself to help explain your points and how to fix them .(if you think it needs to be more dynamic draw a lil dynamism over the sketch and show your idea )

3)profit "Well seriously we all profit from good criticism "

Thats pretty much it and the gauntlet is thrown , i'll peek back in later and see what we have .

churbad. lrn2drah.

: Photobucket is offline at the moment, so you can't see the pic.

I like the pose and the expression on her face. Very dynamic.

The only real things I see, critique-wise...is the picture reversed? The bot-arm was on the other side in the screenshot. And the other...the back shoulder looks a little too prominent given the curve of her body.

Dropping her shoulder just slightly and decreasing the line from her right breast gives a slightly smoother flow, IMO.

My suggestion

Hiya,

You know I love your linework and the expressiveness of drawings. I made a few adjustments--the most important I think being the right shoulder and the placement of the neck.

To me it looks like the shoulders are turned in alignment with the head. But then the breasts and the rest of the torso are turned to the right. I raised the shoulder a bit and shifted the head to the right to make it feel more unified.

I also changed the proportions of the head and hips to make her a bit more womanly. That's just my leaning, not dissing your style or anything yo!

suggestions

I'm going to set my own practical advice aside for a moment, and raise one issue that immediately caught my attention...

As Darque said, you switched the cyborg arm from the right (screenshot) to the left (sketch).

Now, you may well have intended to do so - but if you somehow missed that, I thought you might want to know.

Anyway, if you horizontally flip the image, the handedness won't be an issue anymore.

Scarf Girl! We hates her, FOREVER!!!

LJ

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Scarf Girl! We hates her, FOREVER!!!

LJ

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That might be the best critique I've ever seen.

*looks at the first post*

Oh bugger... Right... uhh... meaningful critique...

There's lots of... err... fore... ground? Bugger, I'm SO getting kicked for this...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Venture I'd never use a nuke in a superhero universe. You nuke a city, you kill 1.5 million people minus one. The last guy not only gets superpowers from the explosion, but ones that let him survive a nuke...and wow, is he torqued off

Also Smeagol wanted to add:

"It's glove hand has no,*golum,golum* ,thumb my precious! "

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The rough sketch for critiqueing fun

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1. Chest area is well-defined but under-proportioned in size to the rest of the torso. DO NOT inflate the swells any further, just enlarge area for better body-balance.

2. Consequently, the head is overly-sized to the torso-size, giving it a 'party-balloon' appearance. Reduce its overall mass a little...to better match the body.

3. Right foot is so 'twisted' in its stance, it is a wonder she isn't wincing in pain from a sprained ankle. Turn the foot outward for better balance and posture, instead of inward.

Onwards!

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Scarf Girl! We hates her, FOREVER!!!

LJ

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Hehehehe.

[ QUOTE ]
Scarf Girl! We hates her, FOREVER!!!

LJ

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/Win!

LJ you had me cracking up! I was also going to point out the foot. ((Hah, no kicks for meh! ... right?))

Head size seems a bit 'large'. It might also just be me, but her face seems 'skewed', like the angles for the chin and jaw are different then that of the facial features. Um, viewing angle that is from the observer. No one else has mentioned it though, so it's probably just me and I'm way off base. >_<;;;

=. .=

Changes in Crimson!

Image Here

Changed the position of her stance. She looked too offbalance with the right(her right!) leg in the original image. This also I think is a more aggressive stance which seems to fit the character a little more.

Moved her tail from betwixt(I love that word) her legs, and used it to balance the image.

Finger positions were fine the way they were, just my own personal taste when I changed those.

Just me 2 bits,

-Cj

all good guys and double thanks to the folks that showed via scribbling on the drawing what they meant (much easier for me to follow what your saying)

And yes im a big goof for flipping the image :P

anyways i'll let the citiques come in then gather them up this weekend and fix a few things while watching cartoons and we can see the difference between the two .

Thanks again everyone that took the time

Too much smiley face and not enough nipples.


Hey, I'm new to this critique stuff.

[ QUOTE ]
After our latest forum discussion about critiques I thought id post a non finished sketch specificly for critiques so that we can all putz around with and pick apart a sketch as well as get a feel for how the critiquing process can be handled .

Screenshot of my Blaster , Jinn Anne Tonic

The rough sketch for critiqueing fun

The sketch when finished will be a spot illustration for the Virtue verse wiki entry im currently putting together for the character inquestion, Here

And as a spot illustration won't have any background or strange blasts of energy emiting from them

So a few rules

1)only post with a critique and a way fix it . posting "nice pic" will get you a boot to the hind quarters

2)extra points for doodling on the sketch itself to help explain your points and how to fix them .(if you think it needs to be more dynamic draw a lil dynamism over the sketch and show your idea )

3)profit "Well seriously we all profit from good criticism "

Thats pretty much it and the gauntlet is thrown , i'll peek back in later and see what we have .

[/ QUOTE ]


ok here goes *deep breath*

I hate you. my solution try not to suck so much



that is all

hmmm... most of the points I noticed were covered, but here's a couple I didn't see.... The right leg is all bendy, but someone mentioned that. It looks like her ankle is made of rubber. Adjusting the foot to a wider stance should cover that. Also, unless you're going for a Bruce Timm style, the ankles are way to narrow. Which could explain why her right leg seemed to have snapped...

The other thing I didn't see mentioned is that the gauntlet arm seems to small in comparison to the body and the other arm. I seem to remember a while back comments that the metal arm is an artifact she wears over her right arm, yes? It shouldn't actually be smaller than her arm itself then... A little photoshop cut/enlarge/paste should cover that though.

I think mine are already mentioned - the foot angle seems a bit too strained, and the roght shoulder is a bit "bulby".

I think angling the foot out a bit would help, and reducing the shoulder cap a bit would take care of that.

And yes, this is the first use I can find on these forums of the word "bulby". Yay!

After going through the various critiques over this weekend I went ahead and made changes based on the various doodles folks posted with lil squiggle lines showing what they meant .

A noncomprehensive list of changes made
1)reduced size of head
2)flipped image
3)reworked outstreatched arm and increased its size
4)reworked tail to add to flow of picture
5)added to her hip size
6)thinned her chest and waist a bit
7)Started to add detail for shorts and leggings
8)added thumb to gloved hand

Screenshot of my Blaster , Jinn Anne Tonic

The original rough sketch we used for critiqueing fun

New Sketch based on some of the feedback given

Still a bit to go obviously but coming along (by the way that was the first time I reduced a body part in photoshop ..omg it saves so much time !!! )

It's looking great, Scarf! I hope you finish it so we can all see how awesome it is!

Hee, Thanks ,

Honestly its been an intresting project trying to work with critiques and feedback so im in no real rush .

I figure i'll give one more quick round of feedback then i'll ink and maybe color her this weekend .

I think the ankle under the bent arm still needs to angle out more. The foot is turned in too much, and makes her feet look identical... like two left feet kind of thing. Also length wise how could if be the same size if that leg isn't bent...

Here's a side by side...

LJ

Hey Scarf! If this is too late, then disregard it.

I redlined your current piece:

http://www.icefox-studios.net/albums...ilgirlnew2.jpg

1. I added more hair on the back, I feel like some of your sketches are sometimes deficient in cranal capacity, but god I love your style so I didn't really want to go over this one much.

2. I felt like the strength of the pose would be better offset with the leg positioned back a lil. All the weight is on that backleg. The way you can tell where the weight is centered on a figure is to draw a straight line down through the head. (That note was more for the general audience, I'm sure you know that one XD)

3. I just wanted to say I love her waist. I've no idea why but I like it. It might be my love for corsets but, anyways XD

4. I had to disagree with the tail up. It really took away from the overall dynamic silhouette that you've got going on, so I sketched that in.

5. I'd bring the knee to the front, it seems a lil awkward to the side.

6. Six was optional really. I love foreshortening, so you could go a lil bigger on the hand/glove but it's more of a stylistic thing.

Your style is awesome, by the by :3

I still hate you

Sayterra,
Its definitely not late at all for anyone to throw in their comments or crits and I humbley thank everyone for taking the time to do so (and yours are always appreciated regardless )

This sketch was specifficly done so everyone could look it over and then muse about ways to make it better or fix its shortcomings (and its amazing what others eyes pick up on that you might miss in your first go around ! )
and was a direct result of the big forum bally hoo we had over critiqueing and how to do so .

I'll likely take the new batch of crits and adapt the pic this weekend and get in some much needed inking practice (envys you high tech kids with your sci fi tablets and strange esoteric computer skills)
































..........................Fan Girl moment .......................................

<hyperventilates into a paper bag>


.............................Explanation.......... ...................................

There are some folks art that I just adore so much or look at angrily in envy going "must eat their brains and steal their talent!" or have examples of their work posted over my lil desk .
So to hear one of them state that they like my style or think I show promise often makes me do a quick inward squeel (so as not to alarm my roommate )of happiness

Scarf I've been of a fan of your stuff for a long long time I've just been pretty quiet on the boards for the past many months.