HoO's Guide to Getting Your Non-Gamer Wife to Play
By
abnormal_joe,
Posted on: 2007-03-26 11:10 in Player Guides
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This can backfire as something called "cuddling" or "sex" might be requested.
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I dunno, maybe I can go afk during that TF...it has happened before...
Now just pray that she doesn't take an interest in the forums or all your carefully laid plans are shot!
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I think this is exactly how I began playing. My boyfriend implemented your "PLAN" on me. And it worked brilliantly. I'm as hooked as he is. I probably play more than him now. If this thread was 6 months old, not 2 weeks old, I'd have to give you guys credit instead of him.
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ZOMG! It's a girlfriend in the thread!
Quick, everyone, brush your teeth, wash your hands, and get your pants back on!
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I kid you not I love this section... Im glad to see us guys coming together and using cool tactics to get things done here... hehe lmao
You guys do not know or realize how much I appreciate this thread. I tried to get my wife to play before but I was at work and therefore couldn't help her as much as I wanted to. Also I had only one computer. Now that I have 2 computers I will implement the "plan" immediately. I have a question though that I hope one of you guys can help me with. My wife is kinda of an old-school (such as the old nintendo games) and anything that looks 3-d she kinda shies away from it. Any suggestions?
P.S. Did I tell you guys that I love you guys? 
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Oh! You are all sooo busted!! But I have to admit, you have some good tactics!
My hubby bought this game for me for my birthday over a year ago. I thought to myself, "What a stupid present!" Boy, was I ever wrong. Now, I'm a confirmed altaholic, badgaholic, and I'm just now starting to get into villains, PVP and building SG bases. DH and I used to play together all the time, but he has since lost interest and has moved on, while my addiction marches on. I play almost every day, and he can't understand why I still play so much. But then again, he never got to 50, doesn't care for TFs (Dr. Quarterfield broke him), doesn't badge hunt, never got bitten by the alt bug, and never belonged to a good SG.
My wife and I met in a Quakeworld community back in 1999. We played Asheron's Call together for 3 years, she played DAoC alone while she was unemployed, we played a bit of AC2 together, we joined a team on Return to Castle Wolfenstein:ET together. We played some WoW together before our baby arrived and that our play session had to be drastically reduced. She just didn't feel attracted to CoH and so I have played alone for 33 months now. And somehow I am less happy than before gaming-wise, I need my game partner...
Reading this thread... I have taken the decision to get her involved again. Starting from scratch with a duo, involve her in the nice french community we have going on Freedom. She's an experienced player, she'll learn fast. Moreover I think that now that CoH has a what comes close to a loot system, she'll be definetly more interested.
Thank you for that thread.
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I was at a friends house for a dinner social where a few of the other males are or were CoX players and through conversation it came up that me and my wife were not only playing but enjoying CoX together. One of my friends who plays on Guardian (SERVER TRANSFER TOOL PLZ) said I should write a guide. So after a few days of the idea brewing... here it goes!
Disclaimer: If anything following gets you into trouble don't blame me! Blame PvP!
Background: I am a long time gamer, and was introduced to D&D in Kindergarten by a local 3rd grader. Thus when college rolled around I told myself that I should not hook up with gamer chicks and get a 'normal person' to balance my personal zen.
Well that worked pretty good until the lure of the game started to pull me back.
Now my wife is Japanese and is quite familiar with consoles and arcade games etc and has nothing inherently against playing video game. Officially I can play as much as I want but there are some hazy boundaries where I have either played too long, or too often (or too long and too often). I think personal hygiene might be a barometer.
So it was obvious that if I was ever to level... I better get her playing so that it is a family activity!
1) Getting her to play is actually the answer to how can I play more video games.
So how do I do that?
First off money is often a concern in a lot of homes and her single biggest complaint was the monthly charge. Worse to keep up with me my second account (or her account) would also need to run CoV for SG access. Her complaint was that she wouldn't mind playing every now and then but she would not play enough to make it worth it.
2) I created a separate checking account for myself and called it my allowance. I negotiated what would be a reasonable allowance for me per month and I pay completely for both accounts. Thus she doesn't feel that she is wasting money.
I do a rotation at home with my computers. I keep a main box and rotate my older parts to the 2nd machine which my wife uses. We had previously screwed around with Guild Wars and she complained that she couldn't see things well... To sweeten the experience for her... I secretely updated her machine.
3) Her new Dell flat panel monitor for Christmas was really all a part of my evil scheme. I wrote it off as a business expense. (hey we both work in software, I can termserv in once in a while and possible another guide! Hand of Osiris's Guide to Writing off CoX as a Tax Deduction). Thus this rule says make sure her gaming experience is fun and if she looks over at your uber machine and she is playing on the old turd burgler box, perhaps you can try switching machines... ouch I know that hurt.
The next thing I had to overcome was her other interests. Somewhere along the line I got roped into Dancing with the Stars (ok I have a few years of dancing myself -try it works good to pick up girls if you are Rico Suave out there). There are a few other shows she likes as well, including a few that I like.
4) Digital Recorder. Make more time in your life by getting one of these life changing devices. WARNING: Only use it for good not evil! Where evil is defined as, "I can skip commericals so that 30 minute shows are 18 minutes I can watch MORE TV" vs. good "I can watch all my programs in less time it took than before." You can still have all your meaningfull moments of togetherness its just that those moments of cuddling on the couch have secretly shrunk from an hour to 45 minutes and from 30 minutes to 18 minutes. Mu ha ha!
We all know that the best gaming is when there are lots of peeps online so that teams are easy to find and opponents in PvP are plentiful. This means video gaming on Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday during the day.
5) To overcome "You are wasting our nice Friday night, why aren't we going out." or "It is a beatifull day this weekend, lets go somewhere". There are 2 tricks.
First off make good use of Thursday nights as a going out\date night. This then 'frees' up Friday night because you just went out. You can also try the "I am tired from a long week of working, lets just watch a digital recorded tv program."
I have also found that making a nice dinner Friday with lots of heavy starchy foods (pasta), lighting a few candles, and opening that bottle of wine that you conveinently keep refilling her glass can free up a whole night of gaming for you! Yes it is my most evil scheme and it works 95% of the time as she gets sleepy and goes to bed. WARNING: This can backfire as something called "cuddling" or "sex" might be requested.
To overcome wasting a nice sunny Saturday. Schedule gaming. I put it on the calendar that I would like to play video games on some Saturday a few weeks in advance. This allows you to pull off TF's or attend server events.
Make sure that you start early and end mid-day or start late afternoon. Then use the other half of the day to do something nice.
You can also move to Seattle where the number of nice Sunny days is severly limited and because you are a lazy SOB and haven't planned anything to do, you just turn your head and say, "It is nasty, lets just play some video games. I only need a half bulb to level."
6) Emphasize the Team. If you give her the idea that she is playing video games with you this will allow her to play more video games. It is you she wants to be with, not any desire to play CoX so emphasize the team experience.
do so by: Coordinating outfits, Names, Story Description.
You can satisfy your inner power gamer by creating 2 toons to explicitly coordinate their powers together. It is very interesting to see how you might make a toon if you knew that you would never ever play without this other toon. Most player guides actually fall apart and become sub optimal. Also NEVER EVER play 'your half' of the duo without the other. If she is always having to SK under you or just be caged into being a 'debuffer/healer and watcher' that might not be her game.
7) We have all been on horrible PuG's or watch some noob \regen scrapper cause a team wipe because he thinks he is still soloing. (the leroy jenkins effect). Your spouse is that person.
DUO only and on Heroic (or whatever is easy for you two) until she becomes more and more comfortable with the game. Even learning the keyboard movement. I had to spend a lot of time in KR teacher her how to jump.
Consider FLY as a travel power for her and slot it quickly. Remove as many frustrations in playing as possible. A high surviveable toon might be in order too where you can just run up and button smash.
I overcome a lot of problems by the TP pool on my blaster. Recall Friend and Team TP. She has Fly and Team Fly. We both fly and tp! (team fly still sucks REDUCE THE END, UP THE SPEED, LET EVERYONE FLY AT SAME SPEED -WHOMEVER IS FASTEST, MAKE IT RESISTANT TO -FLY)
Also Grant Invisiblity stops her from agroing mobs flying all crazy all over the place. Also no one likes to be mezzed so I have Stimulate too.
The next step is to play the DUO with SG teams where you announce to your SG that she is a NOOB. I created a macro button (I don't use it anymore as she has graduated to average) that I would also use to explain to PuG's that she just started.
In addition DO NOT GET FRUSTRATED AT HER CRAPPITUDE. Just die with her and return to base, like a good husband. Thats why I really suggest playing on an easy difficulty.
I also put in our Looking for Team message for each that you must also invite the other toon.
So there it is! Remember that she is playing because she wants to be with you!
So you ask what do we play. Team Ninja! She plays Shinobi no Yumi (Death by Bowshot or Secret Archer) a TA\A Defender and I play Yumiya (Bow and Arrow) a Archery\nrgy blaster. Ironically she is WAY stronger toon than me and is our criticaly in our success. Recently there was a defender post about TA\A being the most difficult defender to play well, so I tried to 'switch' toons with her. She told me to stick it and keep playing my crappy blaster. doh! 
(while she proceeded to EMP a single yellow minion)
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Your knowledge-foo has become ninja-like. You ARE DA NINJA!!!
If I had to pick ONE thing out of this thread it would be:
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After that I shut up and let her ask questions elaborating only where absolutely necessary. I gave her some influence to ease out the start and she took off.
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Hardest thing in the world is only answering the question you are asked. Infodump kills, people.
(... my wife lights things on fire. A lot. )
Mini-guides: Force Field Defenders, Blasters, Market Self-Defense, Frankenslotting.
So you think you're a hero, huh.
@Boltcutter in game.
That made me laugh outloud several times.
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Oh! You are all sooo busted!! But I have to admit, you have some good tactics!
My hubby bought this game for me for my birthday over a year ago. I thought to myself, "What a stupid present!" Boy, was I ever wrong. Now, I'm a confirmed altaholic, badgaholic, and I'm just now starting to get into villains, PVP and building SG bases. DH and I used to play together all the time, but he has since lost interest and has moved on, while my addiction marches on. I play almost every day, and he can't understand why I still play so much. But then again, he never got to 50, doesn't care for TFs (Dr. Quarterfield broke him), doesn't badge hunt, never got bitten by the alt bug, and never belonged to a good SG.
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THE PLAN HAS BEEN COMPROMISED RUN!!!! <Fires off EMP> :-)
Wow so much has changed since I wrote this... after 7 years of marraige we finally got around to fornicating (LoL) and my daughter is now 6 weeks old.
Time to Play lower... desire to play lower (more time for walks and kisses!)
That said
ALL NEW GUIDE! Hand of Osiris Tips on how to play with an Infant!
Step 1) Buy a Baby Bjorn (a chest baby carrier). Fire up your machine, put on your Raider Hat (go Raiders), and type "/ac All your Base Belong to Use, Wussors LF Pwnage". Ignore the burp up that is now running down your shirt.
Step 2) Move your keyboard and mouse to the edge of your desk. Lean back in your chair. Put baby in the crook of your keyboard arm. Proceed to defeat evil. Warning! Put a pillow on your desk. Babies sometimes do weird spastic movements and although it is against gravity (remember lean back) she\he might lurch forward striking desk. (thats where the pillow comes in)
Step 3) Again move keyboard and mouse to edge of desk. Move chair away from desk. Wear clothes that have some friction. Close legs like a prudish girl. Put baby on legs head in your crotch (not sounding good) face up! Feet towards knees is important because those little legs kick and you don't want her falling off! Proceed to say "Broadcast: Beers FTW"
4) Find other gamers with babies... This is the most important one! This way no one gets annoyed by ... BRB baby crying, AFK gotta change diaper, Poo for the win!
Actually she loves looking at video games being played since there is interesting noises and lots of colors.
Remember to turn down the volume! Baby ears are delicate!
Hahahaha, this thread is brilliant! I don't have a wife (mainly because I'm a woman) or a husband (mainly because I'm a gaming loser!) but I got a great laugh out of this.
This entire thread made me laugh my [censored] off.
I used the costume creator to get my wife into the game.
Another thing, give her the better machine to game on.
If she knows your addict, this will make her feel like you really want to spend time with her.
If your an addict u can handle the other machine w/o much frustration.
What I do with my daughter is put a bottle of juice and some food in her playpen
Then set the dvd player on repeat with a mixed dvd of teletubbies and barney.
This normally gives me and my wife a good 1-2 hours before a pamper change. But, change pamper as needed
easily one of the most inteligent and humorous guides I've ever read. great job
Heh how to play mmorpgs with babies, good guide, I'll need that in seven months, as soon as I push out this spawn *grins*
I'm a gamer woman, a soon-to-be-married-once-my-fiance-gets-out-of-the-army gamer woman, and he games too so once he gets back the guide to gaming while having an infant is going to be helpful.
He didn't have to get me into gaming, he met me three years prior at a local arcade, kicking his posterior at King of Fighters, didn't hurt that I was local women's champ at Dance Dance Revolution, Freestyle and Speed categories, he was male second place, ah love! <3
Knowing the fact we're both into computers, and cars, I'm an IT manager and he's sattelite communications operator for the army, my (my old MOS ), theres about a 50/50 chance the kid will either be a gamer, or a car nut, probably both.
For christamas last year he got me a new mobo and vid card setup, and a new intercooler, I got him a new body kit and memory, hmm maybe this year I can get him a new game he's been good..
Ah drifting thoughts, sorry I tend to randomly drift off on tangents, but yeah soon to be mother here, gamer, and even sooner to be wife, (In march hurrah!), took years to find each other but it was worth the bad boyfriends, his crazy ex's, my years of singleness and lamenting, ....now knowing our luck watch my doctor tell me we're having twins
I have been trying to cook up a scheme for this...now I have ideas...
Muahahaha
/e rubhands
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What a great freaking' guide.
I'm the cook in our house, and I long ago found that if I buck up and cook a nice 4-star heavy cream sauce meal, good bread, etc. that it basically gives me the entire night to game at my leisure. Those meals hit her like a ton of bricks, whether we're in or out, about 20 minutes after the last bite, she want's her pillow and bed, nothing else.
As another said, brilliant
As cute as this is, the REAL guide to getting your S.O. to play video games is much shorter -- marry someone who's also a gamer XP
This works great for me and my partner, right up until we both want the wii for different games.
CoX, on the other hand ...
XD
she who needs no mic
"You couldn't be more wrong if you were upended in a vat full of toxic wrong by Captain Wrong and his Wrongbots and earned a permanent inherent power called Aura of Wrong."-Lady_Sadako
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Nothing will ruin her enjoyment of the game like "Oh, we have to talk to this contact, to get this mission, to get this badge, to get this accolade, which will also require hunting here by X level, but I think I can set it up in a mere two hours of farming greys via mission resets, in order to be L33t." With its variants "Don't take that power, take this one, with this slotting, in fact I'll plan your build out and tell you which buttons to press when.", and "I'm going to spend an hour infodumping you with everything about how the game works before you start, free with bonus rants about the nerfs you've never heard of."
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I just realized something... This could have worked on my best friend...
Would you mind making a best friend guide (While still keeping the 'somewhat idiotic and unknowing' parts)?
Link to what I'm dealing with. 
Awesome guide.
My wife started playing with me about nine months ago. I talked her into it by offering to buy her a laptop and CoH GvsE edition. We made mathcing tunes. Then she got altitis.
Sometimes she plays more than I do. Last doulbe XP weekend she stayed up to 4 am on the first night and then called in sick to work on Saturday. She played some more on Saturday but went to bed early. Then Sunday she went to work and as soon as she got home was back on the machine. Until 5 am this time. Luckily she had Monday off. Totally blew my pansy butt out of the water (I was in bed by midnight or one each night). Never thought I'd see the day.
My wife would like to add that she likes playing her new dominator while breast feeding. She says use a Boppy pillow across your lap, have baby lie sideways, and you reach out and use Mass Hypnosis on that nest of Snakes, much like a Middle Eastern Snake charmer.
hahah nice guide
My wife gets that whole motion sickness.... thing. Waiting to purchase LCD before trying again. Both of my daughters play, and I have the PC maintenance costs to prove it. Eventually, my 5 yr old son will play, so i'm thinking 4 midrange PCs, and 4 game accts may be the limit. Since we like everything loud, and wife doesn't, it is time to implement The Lallendos Wife Pwnage Plan:
1. Use kids to leverage wife into believing she needs a social life. We all agree she should go bingo, hobbies, screw around with the pool boy (we don't have a pool, so maybe the neighbors have to help there), or go to a firing range for self defense pistol training.
2. Convince the kids, while playing that they have made both parents happy, and that Disneyland pales in comparison to Peregrine Island!
3. Profit!
Works so far.
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I'm still an unhitched gamer Woman...so now when's the guide for: "How to make your Hubby/BF less grumpy after you soundly thrash him in a game" come out?
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I believe it's universally understood that that would be a two word guide.