The Addicts Guide to Playing at work

Introduction
So you feel bored at work and figure that you could use your idle time there to persue more important tasks, such as leveling your toon. You think Windows Solitarire is for losers and have played enough Dropheads, ICQ games and other freebees to make you wish that you were running around in Paragon City in tights when the boss isn't looking. If you are like that then this guide is for you!

In this guide you will learn the ropes of doing what you really want to do at work, and not get fired so you can keep paying the monthly charges for CoH.
Plan ahead
The right careers
The first decision is to choose the right career. You can either become a game reviewer, and flat out play games for a living, but there are some problems with that. First, it's about as easy to get one of those jobs as it probably is to land a male escort for an agency who only accepts gorgeous young women as customers.

The second problem is that if you are lucky enough to become a game reviewer, you most likely won't get to play what you want. So instead of playing CoH, you could be stuck with playing a real lame game like say for example Deer Hunter 8.
Last but not least, you would have to actually do a review. That would mean that you would have to be paying attention to all aspects of the game, and probably taking notes on it and later would actually have to write a big article about it. So where's the fun in that?

My suggestion is that you become a head of the IT department for pure unaldulterated fun. As the head of the IT department, you will have no problem installing anything on your computer and are in a key position to get your company to purchase the latest video cards and upgrades to have a decent gaming machine at work. My only advice is don't get one of those computers with the funky colors, transparent paneling and neon lights. Bosses tend to get kind of suspicious if you do that.

If you are not the head of the IT department, you can still do it, but it will take a bit more creativity on your part.

Installing and running

Whatever you do, DO NOT take the DVD to work and install from it. The best way to do it is to download the client and then run the updater. The reason for this is that this way CoH will not get listed in the Add/Remove Programs list and it wont put icons on your desktop or on your start menu. To run CoH, go to Run in the start menu and run it from there. No one will ever know...

AT selection
Basically every AT has it's pros and cons:
<ul type="square"> [*]Blaster : You can usually 1 or 2 shot your enemies when no one is looking. But you can also alt tab when the boss comes in and when you get back, you will see yourself planted on the floor.
Controller: You can mez your target and alt tab when someone walks in. The downside is that it takes forever to kill anything.[*]Tankers: You can alt tab and come back an find you that you are still standing. But just like a troller, it takes a long time to bring someone down.[*]Scrappers : Combines the 1/2 shot capability of a blaster with somewhat of the resistance of a tanker. Just don't agro a lot of mobs at once and you will be fine.[*]Defender: This is probably the only AT that does not do so hot for playing at work. Your attacks are weak and so are you. Your only choice here is to play an empathy, turn on auto-heals and put the tanker or scrapper on your team on follow.[/list] To team or to solo

I basically prefer to go solo out of consideration to my potential team mates. It's ok to alt tab and come back to your body stretched out on the floor. But people will usually get mad at you if you basically stop fighting in the middle of a big battle and it results in a team wipe. But then again, some people do that and can't even use the excuse that the boss walked in on them and they had to use auto tab.

Well, this is all I can write as of right now, since my boss got back from lunch and I have to pretend to be doing some work here . . .

If you have any questions, let me know and I'll try to answer when no one is looking

Pity that we only use Macs here at work. I suppose there are ways around that though.

I suppose for now I'll just have to settle with reading the COH/COV boards during my few breaks. I'm too busy otherwise.

Malakim

Be sure to tell Firefox to not "Allow sites to change my colors." That way you can read the boards in black on white and look much more professional.

Err. Or so I assume.

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The second problem is that if you are lucky enough to become a game reviewer, you most likely won't get to play what you want. So instead of playing CoH, you could be stuck with playing a real lame game like say for example Deer Hunter 8.

Last but not least, you would have to actually do a review. That would mean that you would have to be paying attention to all aspects of the game, and probably taking notes on it and later would actually have to write a big article about it. So where's the fun in that?

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Plus you'll probably have a day or two to write the review. How do explain why you're still playing it 5 months later? Seriously, any suggestions?

how do i crack the code for installing stuff without being the adminstrator of the computer, all my sites have computers and i do security day and night and am often alone however this thing is on lock down, should i steal the admin password from the technicians, like make up a problem on the computer make them log in and try really hard to remember what they typed? anyone gotta code cracking program on disc maybe?

Dear Johnny (aka Booboo_Finger):

This is your boss who was searching on Google, and found your guide.

You are hereby fired by disobeying articles 21A, 23, 24, 25B, and numerous other infractions against the employee handbook you signed.

On a serious note, google and other search engines index everything.

While interesting reading, there is an old saying about playing with fire ;-)

Take care.

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how do i crack the code for installing stuff without being the adminstrator of the computer, all my sites have computers and i do security day and night and am often alone however this thing is on lock down, should i steal the admin password from the technicians, like make up a problem on the computer make them log in and try really hard to remember what they typed? anyone gotta code cracking program on disc maybe?

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In case you didn't know that's a REALLY bad idea

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how do i crack the code for installing stuff without being the adminstrator of the computer, all my sites have computers and i do security day and night and am often alone however this thing is on lock down, should i steal the admin password from the technicians, like make up a problem on the computer make them log in and try really hard to remember what they typed? anyone gotta code cracking program on disc maybe?

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In case you didn't know that's a REALLY bad idea

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QTF! Seriously this is a hilarious guide, but if you need to crack something to play the game at work....don't!

What you might want to do is get a laptop with a lovely air card and play to your content at lunch for an hour. That will get your fix in AND you won't have the potential to get fired!

Another tip is come to work very early and play. Your boss will see that you are always on time if not early Meanwhile you can play on your laptop to your hearts content.

Your job is WAY more important than CoH/V. Heck I'm happy the folks that pay me allow me to look at this board. That's enough for me.

Just as an interesting tid-bit of info...

Portable Hard Drives can allow you to play from any computer, without installing on any of them.

Download the client to the hard drive, then run that. From that point on, you'll be able to take the now portable CoH and play from any computer that can run it.

This may affect your speed and lag, but I personally believe it doesn't, and the computer I'm running on is just outdated.

A 20 GB Portable HD that plugs into USB ports is what I use, and works relatively well.


....

Wait. This wasn't a serious topic?

CoH+CoV is only 2 gig. You could play it from an ipod.

But I'd like to see it on a 4-gig thumb drive or flash card with a fast interface.

Hmmm.

LOL

That's one of the great guides of our time

oh snap gotta get a portable hard drive, just hope no one is able to trace the game being played on the corporate computers internet line.

OK, 2 things:[list]
[*] Don't hack the admin password to play at work. If you were really serious about goofing off at work, then you should have studied more and became an admin yourself. The more you study and get paid, they more you can goof off at work. Just look at our President. Think mere mortals can go on vacation as often as he does (or any other President for that matter) and still keep their jobs? The message is clear, if you want to goof off, study till your bottom becomes glued to the chair.
[*] I'm aware that everyting gets indexed by search engines, but since my boss is the kind of person who sends me an Email about the Email being down, I don't think I'm very much at risk here.

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I'm aware that everyting gets indexed by search engines, but since my boss is the kind of person who sends me an Email about the Email being down, I don't think I'm very much at risk here.


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So...he's a PHB then?

Something else to add:

If you're just starting your job and have a desire to keep it, don't play the game on the company dime. At least get to the point of your employment where they have to actually fill out (more) paperwork before they can fire you.

Something else I forgot to mention:
Cringe Factor
Be aware that nothing will give away the fact that you are goofing off playing a game more then the "cringe factor". That is basically the face you make when, for example, your blaster misses 10 attacks in a row and gets dispatched to the hospital by some lowly enemie. Make sure you learn to keep a poker face even though you feel like jumping up and down and running around the room screaming with with frustration.

The cringe factor also come into play when you are in a the middle of a heated battle and your boss approaches and you have to alt tab while he goes on talking about something or another. Yes, your toon is taking a beating while that is going on and you will probably come back to a your toon face-planted and with a nice chunk of debt to boot. But just smile, and do what he asks you without letting him know that you ae getting creamed. It's kind of like having a flea in your underwear when you are in a date. Just smile above the frustration and don't let anyone catch on to your plight. Just keep this in mind: as bad as debt is in CoX, RL debt because you you lost your job is even worse!

Career choice:

- Become a CoH/CoV developer
<ul type="square"> [*]Pros : Allows for unpunished long game sessions at work [*]Pros : You can tweak powers data to have an unfair advantage in PvP with your toons should you choose to[*]Pros: You can talk CoH with colleagues all day long without being called a freak[*]Cons: Have to attend meetings with Statesman discussing game balance and his *visions* blah blah blah blah[*]Cons: Can't post on the boards and ask for template advice with your redname without having 400 replies unrelated to your question[/list]

Some other thoughts:

Get used to playing without sound, but dont go berserk looking for a clicky when you can hear it.

Do your best not to mash keys, or even tap one over and over too loudly. Playing doesnt sound much like typing, if you're at all close to anyone else.

Gosh people get with it! WORK AT HOME! Start a home business! That way you make your own schedule and can do what you want. I work from home observing phone calls for quality and training purposes. I also fiddle around with ebay making a little $ here and there. Point is though, I am my own boss, hence I can do what I want

What is this "work" thing you people are talking about. I get my $14.99 from vending machine coin slots and that cash cow know as the wishing pool at the picadilly. Man that thing financed my sweet gaming rig I play in my van..DOWN BY THE RIVER.

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Career choice:

- Become a CoH/CoV developer
<ul type="square"> [*]Pros : Allows for unpunished long game sessions at work [*]Pros : You can tweak powers data to have an unfair advantage in PvP with your toons should you choose to[*]Pros: You can talk CoH with colleagues all day long without being called a freak[*]Cons: Have to attend meetings with Statesman discussing game balance and his *visions* blah blah blah blah[*]Cons: Can't post on the boards and ask for template advice with your redname without having 400 replies unrelated to your question[/list]
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Meh...

Trust me on this one, if it was your job, last thing you would want to do when you got home is play CoH.

It's kind of like being a game reviewer. The fun factor goes down a good 20-50 points if you are doing it as work. Nothing beats palying a game for pure, selfish enjoyment. Exept maybe, playing it when everyone else thinks you are working...LOL

I've actually found that any AT works well. Especially with indoor missions. Just go to the mission, and so long as you know you can handle the spawns relatively quickly, you can do a spawn, then alt-tab away and do some work. Then go back and forth.

So long as you take the game one spawn at a time, you're usually covered, with the exception of Ambushes, patrols, and timed missions.

The reason I suggest missions, is because you can go AFK in them for a long time without being auto-disconnected.

Being able to solo, no matter how slowly, is vital as you said. So long as you can solo Heroic Missions, you should be fine.

Teaming is variable. Teaming with people you know (friends, SG mates who know you're at work, etc) who don't mind letting you mootch the missions somewhat (afk a sec, boss is coming down the row!) is always good. Teaming with other people at work though? That's priceless.

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My suggestion is that you become a head of the IT department for pure unaldulterated fun. As the head of the IT department, you will have no problem installing anything on your computer and are in a key position to get your company to purchase the latest video cards and upgrades to have a decent gaming machine at work. My only advice is don't get one of those computers with the funky colors, transparent paneling and neon lights. Bosses tend to get kind of suspicious if you do that.

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This is a spot on guide. I'm the Controller and MIS Manager at my company and I was able to build a nice game machine and I play several hours a day. Best of all, my boss, the CFO, is in another office 200 miles away. I still play without sound, no point being overly obvious with the troops, but I've been known to turn the speakers on to find that last glowie.

I'm sure all my staff knows I play but they all politely pretend not to notice if they walk in when I'm in the middle of a big battle.

By the same token, if I walk up to the desk of one of my accountants and see Tetris, my only reaction is to suggest a play they might have missed. Once I walked up behind one of my accountants to see her IM'ing away. I saw she was messaging an employee at another of our offices so I asked her to stand, sat in her chair, and proceeded to denounce the other employee (a good friend of mine) for the chowderhead that she was. Without identifying myself. After a few insulting exchanges, I told my employee that my work there was done and went whistling back to my office. I figure fair is fair, I goof off, they goof off. Everyone gets their work done on time so it's all good.

i approach this problem from a different angle: i play till the wee hours of the morning, and sleep at work . its easier to sleep than try to play. also, you can claim you are tired because you took work home with you

Phase shift used to be a player-at-work's best friend. Ah well...

...on a side note, after reading this guide I suddenly understand the quircky behavior of a WS I teamed with recently who was plowing along with the rest of the team, then suddenly said "Boss alert" and went AFK while we (somewhat puzzled) took out the remaining Lts and minions with no boss to be found.

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My suggestion is that you become a head of the IT department for pure unaldulterated fun. As the head of the IT department, you will have no problem installing anything on your computer and are in a key position to get your company to purchase the latest video cards and upgrades to have a decent gaming machine at work. My only advice is don't get one of those computers with the funky colors, transparent paneling and neon lights. Bosses tend to get kind of suspicious if you do that.

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This is a spot on guide. I'm the Controller and MIS Manager at my company and I was able to build a nice game machine and I play several hours a day. Best of all, my boss, the CFO, is in another office 200 miles away. I still play without sound, no point being overly obvious with the troops, but I've been known to turn the speakers on to find that last glowie.

I'm sure all my staff knows I play but they all politely pretend not to notice if they walk in when I'm in the middle of a big battle.

By the same token, if I walk up to the desk of one of my accountants and see Tetris, my only reaction is to suggest a play they might have missed. Once I walked up behind one of my accountants to see her IM'ing away. I saw she was messaging an employee at another of our offices so I asked her to stand, sat in her chair, and proceeded to denounce the other employee (a good friend of mine) for the chowderhead that she was. Without identifying myself. After a few insulting exchanges, I told my employee that my work there was done and went whistling back to my office. I figure fair is fair, I goof off, they goof off. Everyone gets their work done on time so it's all good.

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I want to work for you. Where can I send a resume?