Dechs Kaison

That's correct, but keep in mind that things like the Luck of the Gambler global also offer a defensive enhancement, which increases as the level of the IO does. Sometimes it's better to have more defense, but if all you care about is the recharge bonus, then get the lowest level of the IO that you can.

EDIT: Your example of Edict of the Master: Try to grab the lowest level you can. It's always a 5% defense bonus, no matter what level the IO is.

The +end proc is what will make you awesome, but KB protection is also needed. If you can only get 4 points, that'll cover most stuff. If you can't get 12, don't bother with 8. I've found that KB comes in magnitudes of about 1 or about 10.

It's my personal opinion that Dark Armor has the most potential. It's a resist based set with the best heal in the game and has no real hole in protection. End drain won't affect you, psi damage won't affect you, and you even have toxic resistance. IOs add defense easily, which has a multiplicative effect on your survivability since you're layering on top of resists.

Also, the name of the video in my signature is contradictory to what the video shows.

Play dark armor, and leave the sapper until last if you like.

Also of note, the stealth IOs are mutually exclusive. You cannot have more than one in a build.

I have a bots/traps with softcapped pets and MM.

The pets are softcapped to everything, except for the protectors since they only get one shield each. I have achieved this through FFG, maneuvers (both only three slotted), the +5% defensive proc, and two level 50 defense IOs in protector bots. That's really all you need.

The mastermind is softcapped to S/L/E through FFG, maneuvers, and the scorpion patron shield. No set bonuses required.

I've found that the protector bots start casting their shields on the first pet you've summoned, and they both go in the same order. They also recast as the shields wear off. Keep in mind that you and the protectors will only get one shield. Your protectors are then your only weakness, and unless you can get another 11% defense on them, they always will be. I don't worry about it myself, because they don't pull much of their own aggro (especially when I taunt like your sixth grade bully).

I can handle +4/x8 with bosses on particular groups, but typically run on +1/x8 because anything more just takes too much time.

EDIT: I guess I should provide some more direct answers.
1)You cannot monitor attributes of pets, but you can right click them and bring up the window. It'll show their attributes until you "clear target" or close the window.
2) There is no way for your bots/traps to slot the recharge intensive pet sets.
3) You can't. Again, in my experience, they cast them almost as soon as they wear off.
4) You pretty much covered it all already, but that is all you need.

You're definitely not missing out. Keep in mind that any set bonus is better than what you have now.

Also, obligatory mids link.

I'd also like to add that it's simply better to frankenslot. Which means using set IOs of different sets in the same power to maximize enhancement values.

Ok, that's still kinda complicated. Four acc/damage IOs of level 30 would be better than two acc and two damage +3 SOs.

My problem is I never use them.

Well, that's not entirely true. I make a conscious effort to burn through the small and useless ones. I'll even delete some because I don't want to waste time activating a bunch of insights. I can't stand having an inspiration tray full of garbage. That garbage prevents me from getting the really useful huge inspirations. I hoard huge inspirations. My standard setup is two full columns of huge purple inspirations, one full column of huge greens, and a "rez column" (wakey, break free, blue and green, all huge, of course). Characters without mez protection have a column of break frees, characters without have huge reds. That leaves one column which I keep routinely empty for collecting more huge inspirations.

Despite the inventory, I still never use them.

I can't.

There's this nagging voice in the back of my head. Every time my mouse goes to the tray, I hear it. "But what if you really need them later?"

Take this situation for an example. I'm playing my AR/EM/Munitions blaster on a team with no aggro control, no hard control, and no (de)buffs to speak of. It's just me, two scrappers and two other blasters with the difficulty set way too high. Right after the scrappers jump in, I boost range+build up full auto into the group and hit some of the second group behind it.

At that very instant in time, I can see my fate. It's glaring at me, reflected in the eyes of the aggro cap's worth of enemies turning their heads to me. At that very fleeting moment, I know I'm doomed unless I do something. I could pop one of my huge purple inspirations and continue like nothing was wrong.

But no. I decide to ride it out. What if the scrappers generate enough aggro? What if we kill them fast enough anyway? Then I'll have wasted that huge, valuable inspiration for nothing. No, I can handle this.

Buckshot the group back. Beanbag the peskiest LT. Power Push that boss. Ignite near my feet to keep them off me. None of it matters. My health is crashing fast and nothing I do can save me. Nothing, except of course, inspirations. I still have time. I could gobble a huge green and a pair of purples and turn this into a trivial encounter.

But no. Now we're talking three huge inspirations to save myself, and no situation is so dire to warrant that kind of excess. Besides, things are starting to look better. Except now there's an ambush. Or a patrol. Or someone else aggro'd a third group.

Or all three.

Now the fecal matter has hit the fan in copious amounts. One blaster and I are already eating dirt; the other one's hanging on for dear life. Scrapper health is even dwindling. But there's a still a chance. Build up and full auto are ready to roll. This is what I have the rez column for. All I need to do is swallow one column of inspirations for a no downtime revival, throwing out that built up full auto to mow down our remaining opposition and prevent the inevitable teamwipe. I could even add a purple or two to make sure I survive.

But no. Do you realize how long it took me to collect that perfect rez column? That's four inspirations we're talking about, and the huge wakey alone is super rare, likely made from combining three other huge inspirations. That's like wasting seven inspirations. No way. Instead, I look at my tray to find that in all the excitement, I have two insights that were dropped into my empty column.

"Anyone got a small yellow?"