Cyber Bullying :(


BellaStrega

 

Posted

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Originally Posted by Leo_G View Post
It's sad she let herself become an example of how far cyber bullying can lead but its primarily a problem with society, not bullying. Society's connected nature, their views on sex and nudity, their use of mobs and violence. I'm sorry to say, but those issues won't be solved in our lifetime and she will not be the last to fall victim to them.
The vast majority of teens who use social networking sites never have an experience like this. Also, she didn't "let herself become an example." It's something that was done to her.


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Posted

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Originally Posted by Tenzhi View Post
I cannot sympathize with getting worked up over threats to expose something embarrassing I voluntarily did in a fit of stupidity, or the subsequent exposure. It's the sort of thing I would shrug off.

And I cannot sympathize with taking up self mutilation because people say bad things about me.

And I also cannot sympathize with not taking appropriate legal action for clearly misplaced sentiment.

And probably a few other actions and reactions on her part.

Having been in similar situations to varying degrees, I can sympathize with the situation itself, but just not the actions and reactions to it.
I would like to congratulate you for you being so stable, well adjusted, and being above such things, but really your lack of understanding and empathy probably just makes you a psychopath.


________________________________
"Just cause you don't understand what's going on don't mean it don't make no sense
And just cause you don't like it, don't mean it ain't no good" - Suicidal Tendancies

 

Posted

I am not surprised that some here just don't seem to "get it" when it comes to this issue. A quick look at the behavior here over the past year and the picture becomes clear.


The development team and this community deserved better than this from NC Soft. Best wishes on your search.

 

Posted

Do you even know how the attorneys on the other side of the case, had she pursued legal action, would have crucified her? In order to prove the bullies were "justified" the attorneys would be out to prove the girl brought it all on herself. In most cases like this, because of our screwed up legal system, the victim winds up worse than when legal sanctions began. It comes down to actions versus actions and if doubt can be shown then the bullies get away with it all. She tried to hold her head high and move on, but they wouldn't let her. I hope the families of the bullies understand the parents are liable and by allowing their children t act like this they are equally as reprehensible.


 

Posted

Ever since the case of Megan Meyers I have been keenly aware of how wretched our world has become, where people can stalk and manipulate children with little fear of the consequences if they do it with enough buffer.

In my mind these people who use any intermediary to bring emotional or physical harm to another are no less guilty then someone hiring a hit man to take a life. Yes the hit man pulled the trigger, but he was little more then the weapon directed by another.

Children and adults are very vulnerable to this more so each day because far to many are willing to turn a blind eye or put it on the victim. Such are people dangerously close to the social elitism that men like hitler tried to make the world bow before.

The world more then ever needs people to stand up and band together against indifference and apathy. More then ever the world needs super heroes.

To paraphrase a section of James Gordons Eulogy for bruce wayne from the Dark Knight Strikes Again.

There is no room in our wretched little world for a man who sees far and who sets wrongs right. We're chubby,coddled little things, content. Well-fed. Bruce Wayne a hero wasnt so goddamned accommodating as we are. Bruce Wayne saw something wrong, he punched it out. He threw it through a window. He stomped its face in. He stopped it cold.

We are in trouble deep. We need him.

We need a hero!


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenzhi View Post
I cannot sympathize with getting worked up over threats to expose something embarrassing I voluntarily did in a fit of stupidity, or the subsequent exposure. It's the sort of thing I would shrug off.
You would. NOW.

Howabout when you were in 12-14 years old and had all that pressure on you to fit in and be "liked"?

I was 18 and in the Army before finally ACCEPTED that I really didn't need to give a **** what other people (especially idiots) thought of me. And my life has been a LOT better since then.

I actually got to deal with real grown ups as a grown up in a grown up setting. Liberating is EXACTLY what it was.



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Posted

All I'm gonna say is that in my opinion anyone that lays any blame on that poor girl are worse criminals than the pedophile and bullies that drove her to commit suicide because they are encouraging these things to continue happening by making excuses.


 

Posted

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Originally Posted by Torment And Agony View Post
I would like to congratulate you for you being so stable, well adjusted, and being above such things, but really your lack of understanding and empathy probably just makes you a psychopath.
I seriously doubt that Tenzhi is a psychopath.

I can think of a much better candidate but he hasn't been here (as far as I know) for years.


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Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Torment And Agony View Post
I would like to congratulate you for you being so stable, well adjusted, and being above such things, but really your lack of understanding and empathy probably just makes you a psychopath.
The term is "sociopath." A psychopath will actively seek to cause pain to others and enjoy doing it.


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it's NEVER too late to pad your /ignore list!

 

Posted

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Originally Posted by BellaStrega View Post
I seriously doubt that Tenzhi is a psychopath.

I can think of a much better candidate but he hasn't been here (as far as I know) for years.
I agree. But I wouldn't be surprised to learn that his apparent lack of empathy is a defensive mechanism related to the trauma he himself suffered at the hands of bullying as a kid.

But my theory could easily be dismissed as armchair psychology and quackery.


 

Posted

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Originally Posted by Chad Gulzow-Man View Post
The term is "sociopath." A psychopath will actively seek to cause pain to others and enjoy doing it.
The distinction between sociopath and psychopath is extremely flimsy. I recall reading something by Robert Hare who referred to someone as a sociopath because he wasn't a psychopath for his entire life, not because he didn't actively seek to cause pain to others. I think mostly the distinction is illusory.


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Posted

Remember the old days when bullies would just beat you up on the playground for your lunch money?

I really wish people started valuing privacy more than their social status. Posting pics, stories, videos, etc. of yourself for all the world to see opens you up to ****** up stalkers who enjoy torment.

As an adult, if you make that choice then you're an idiot, but it's your own business. However, teens have no business using these sites. They're not mature enough to understand the consequences or deal with them. Unfortunately for this girl, that realization came too late.


Please buff Ice Control.

 

Posted

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Originally Posted by DarkCurrent View Post
Remember the old days when bullies would just beat you up on the playground for your lunch money?

I really wish people started valuing privacy more than their social status. Posting pics, stories, videos, etc. of yourself for all the world to see opens you up to ****** up stalkers who enjoy torment.

As an adult, if you make that choice then you're an idiot, but it's your own business. However, teens have no business using these sites. They're not mature enough to understand the consequences or deal with them. Unfortunately for this girl, that realization came too late.
This is all BS. No one is responsible for someone else's choice to stalk or harass them. The only person responsible for stalking or harassing someone is the person doing the stalking or harassing. The vast majority of people who post these things do not get harassed or stalked.

Try to be remotely rational and stick to facts, okay? Not this ridiculous and possibly self-serving fantasy world you've concocted where victims are always at fault.

Since psychopaths came up earlier, this is precisely the reasoning psychopaths use to justify victimizing people. I am not saying you are a psychopath, I am trying to point out just how pathologically wrong your reasoning is.


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Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkCurrent View Post
Remember the old days when bullies would just beat you up on the playground for your lunch money?
Also, this wasn't any better. And they never did "just beat you up on the playground for your lunch money." Those weren't good old days, they were awful for those who experienced them.


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Posted

If I had a picture of you flashing me pre-facebook how would I have gotten to send it to everyone?

If this girl was an adult and all this happened would you say she 'should have known better'?

Do you think teens are mature enough to handle the power of social networking?

If I was a creeper trolling for nude teen pics where would I find them pre-facebook?

You can sit there and yell at me all you want. The fact remains that this type of deviant behavior and the calamities that can result are due to the ability of people to send/access personal info 24-7.


Please buff Ice Control.

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkCurrent View Post
If I had a picture of you flashing me pre-facebook how would I have gotten to send it to everyone?
Emails, chatrooms, forums. You know all the internet stuff that existed before Facebok launched in 2004.

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If this girl was an adult and all this happened would you say she 'should have known better'?
No. Victims of abuse are not responsible for the actions of their abusers.

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Do you think teens are mature enough to handle the power of social networking?
No, and any adult blaming the victims for being abused are even less mature than the teens using social networking.

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If I was a creeper trolling for nude teen pics where would I find them pre-facebook?
Emails, chatrooms, forums, websites. The same places on the internet the pervs and bullies were using before Facebook launched in 2004.

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You can sit there and yell at me all you want. The fact remains that this type of deviant behavior and the calamities that can result are due to the ability of people to send/access personal info 24-7.
No it isn't since these crimes were occuring years before social networking was invented. Only an idiot would argue otherwise.


 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkCurrent View Post
You can sit there and yell at me all you want. The fact remains that this type of deviant behavior and the calamities that can result are due to the ability of people to send/access personal info 24-7.
You might as well say, "The only way to stop bullying is by just making sure no one ever comes in contact with anyone else."


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Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkCurrent View Post
If I had a picture of you flashing me pre-facebook how would I have gotten to send it to everyone?
Social networking predates Facebook by several years, but even before then word had way of getting around. Here's a book on the topic that might be informative.

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If this girl was an adult and all this happened would you say she 'should have known better'?
No, because blaming the victim is ignorant.

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Do you think teens are mature enough to handle the power of social networking?
My teen nieces and nephew have been using social networking sites for years and have not had any problems. Most people don't have problems because there isn't a predator for every single person on these sites. Pointing to cases like this as evidence that all social networking is bad for teenagers is sort of like trying to prevent fires by outlawing matches.

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If I was a creeper trolling for nude teen pics where would I find them pre-facebook?

You can sit there and yell at me all you want. The fact remains that this type of deviant behavior and the calamities that can result are due to the ability of people to send/access personal info 24-7.
No, this sort of deviant behavior is not due to the ability of people to send or access personal info. It is due to the existence of people who engage in this behavior, and such people have always existed. They have always made use of available tools.

I am also not yelling at you, I am telling you that you are full of excrement. Your response has only reinforced that impression.


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Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkCurrent View Post
Remember the old days when bullies would just beat you up on the playground for your lunch money?

I really wish people started valuing privacy more than their social status. Posting pics, stories, videos, etc. of yourself for all the world to see opens you up to ****** up stalkers who enjoy torment.

As an adult, if you make that choice then you're an idiot, but it's your own business. However, teens have no business using these sites. They're not mature enough to understand the consequences or deal with them. Unfortunately for this girl, that realization came too late.
hmm think I said this, privacy is what I value, and they called me paranoid.

Go figure.


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"Kick Rocks."
I laffed so hard. Never change, E_L!

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil_Legacy View Post
hmm think I said this, privacy is what I value, and they called me paranoid.

Go figure.
I value privacy too. I try not to bring up my "real world" life in most places, and I tend not to post pictures. I don't even have a facebook account I use for anything (I did use Facebook for the Dragon Age flash game to get the item unlocks in DA2, but for actual social networking? Hell no).

But, this doesn't mean that I think that anyone who does put their stuff up deserves what happens to them, or caused it to happen. At best, they made it possible, but the responsibility is on whomever actually did something.


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Posted

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Originally Posted by BellaStrega View Post
I value privacy too. I try not to bring up my "real world" life in most places, and I tend not to post pictures. I don't even have a facebook account I use for anything (I did use Facebook for the Dragon Age flash game to get the item unlocks in DA2, but for actual social networking? Hell no).

But, this doesn't mean that I think that anyone who does put their stuff up deserves what happens to them, or caused it to happen. At best, they made it possible, but the responsibility is on whomever actually did something.
yea. People cant control other people's actions.

Yea no facebook or none of that stuff for me. I dont use anything that require personal information without reading their privacy policy and looking into the rep. of the company and if I dont understand it, dont like it, or dont feel right about it, then I'm not doing it. I dotn care how many people do it. That is their information and their lives and they do as they please with it, and this is mine.

If I want to socialize I go see them. If I cant see them, then I at least call.


-Female Player-
Quote:
Originally Posted by mauk2 View Post
Evil_Legacy became one of my favorite posters with two words.
"Kick Rocks."
I laffed so hard. Never change, E_L!

 

Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hyperstrike View Post
You would. NOW.

Howabout when you were in 12-14 years old and had all that pressure on you to fit in and be "liked"?
It was clear to me from about first grade that it was pointless for me to try to fit in. I was shipped off to a gifted school once a week which set me apart from everyone at my regular school, and at the gifted school I was the poor kid who could only afford to be there once a week. I've been being simply myself without regard for fitting in or being "liked" for a a good long time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Torment And Agony View Post
I would like to congratulate you for you being so stable, well adjusted, and being above such things, but really your lack of understanding and empathy probably just makes you a psychopath.
I am rather stable, though I don't know that I could claim to be well-adjusted. I don't think I'm a psychopath, as I empathize with people who are in physical pain, or in emotional pain that makes sense to me. But I can't discount the possibility that I'm emotionally or mentally damaged in some manner.

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Originally Posted by BellaStrega View Post
You seem to be phrasing her actions as conscious choices she made, without accounting for the fact that her perception and cognition were altered by her experiences. Altered in a manner that made irrational actions and decisions seem rational or necessary.
She was presumably conscious when she chose to injure herself, alleged mental stability notwithstanding.

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For example, you seem to view her self injury as something she chose to do in a rational state of mind.
On the contrary, I believe I directly referred to the actions as somewhere in the range of stupid-to-crazy. Indeed, it is the fact that the actions make no sense to me that prevents me from sympathizing with them.

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You are not taking all of the facts into account. For example, she says she thought the boyfriend really loved her, and she didn't want to get him in trouble or cause trouble for him.
I took that into account. I believe the phrase I used was 'misplaced sentiment'.

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"Doesn't like her" is a trivializing and misleading description of events.
Brevity can appear to be trivializing.

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I don't find it stupid because I know what it's like to have major depression, anxiety, and panic disorder. I simply find her suicide tragic, and I do not blame her for where she ended up. I consider what was done to her to be malicious and vicious, and not necessarily stupid. Her stalker, unfortunately, knew exactly what he was doing.
I find malicious, destructive, violent behaviour to be extraordinarily stupid. The bit about the mob disgusted and angered me the most.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forbin_Project View Post
I agree. But I wouldn't be surprised to learn that his apparent lack of empathy is a defensive mechanism related to the trauma he himself suffered at the hands of bullying as a kid.
I've wondered about that myself. I've pondered other possibilities as well, such as sociopathy and borderline autism.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaStrega View Post
This is all BS. No one is responsible for someone else's choice to stalk or harass them. The only person responsible for stalking or harassing someone is the person doing the stalking or harassing.
Even if the stalker is not completely rational?


Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart's the memory
And there you'll always be
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Posted

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenzhi View Post
It was clear to me from about first grade that it was pointless for me to try to fit in. I was shipped off to a gifted school once a week which set me apart from everyone at my regular school, and at the gifted school I was the poor kid who could only afford to be there once a week. I've been being simply myself without regard for fitting in or being "liked" for a a good long time.
Basically. I guess people forget that at one point in time most of us were at one point 12-14, but that doesnt mean we all were attention hog with apersonality and self worth depending on how well we fit in. Not all teenagers are or were that shallow and that fragile of self-esteem.

Some of us was fine whether or not we "fit in" and didnt have to try to fit in to feel worthy.


-Female Player-
Quote:
Originally Posted by mauk2 View Post
Evil_Legacy became one of my favorite posters with two words.
"Kick Rocks."
I laffed so hard. Never change, E_L!

 

Posted

I think there is a segment of people that just don't understand that how they handled or were able to handle something emotionally and mentally traumatic has no/zero bearing on how someone else can/will handle these issues.

Having been a part of this community since I8, I am not one bit surprised in some of the positions being taken here. I mean lets be real we have cyber bullies in this community and have had them for years.


The development team and this community deserved better than this from NC Soft. Best wishes on your search.

 

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Originally Posted by Darth_Khasei View Post

Having been a part of this community since I8, I am not one bit surprised in some of the positions being taken here. I mean lets be real we have cyber bullies in this community and have had them for years.
yes. And most of the time no one does anything to attempt to rid of them or let them know that the behavior can be dangerous for some. It's just brushed off here as "oh it's the internet what can you expect? Dont like it, dont log on." especially by the people that had and were appointed to have the power to do something about it.


-Female Player-
Quote:
Originally Posted by mauk2 View Post
Evil_Legacy became one of my favorite posters with two words.
"Kick Rocks."
I laffed so hard. Never change, E_L!