101 Uses for a Dead Statesman
By
2short2care,
Posted on: 2012-03-18 21:27 in CoH and CoV General Discussions
59. Have the entire Phalanx stand around his casket during a thunderstorm while holding lightning rods aloft. The one who gets hit and sacrifices their life to bring him back will turn out to be the sentient shapeshifter pet of one of the others who knocked out and took the place of the person that had planned to sacrifice herself by switching out everyone else's lightning rod with a nonconductive version. (Long Live the Legion! 
)
Final Straw, DM/Regen Scrapper
Solari, Fire/Fire Blaster
Real Americana, MA/SR Scrapper
Task Force Timmy, Grav/Rad Controller
Astral Paragon, Spines/Regen Scrapper
Mr Drama King, Katana/Regen Scrapper
Psi-Stunner, Psi/Mental Blaster
60. hollow him out and make him into a pinata for Lord Recluse's birthday.
Quote:
Why just his cape? You want something with real leather texture to it?
|
Originally Posted by SuperOz
52. Recycle his cape as they did to make the flag at City Hall to have a new leather textured flag! Rock on!
|
We've been saving Paragon City for eight and a half years. It's time to do it one more time.
(If you love this game as much as I do, please read that post.)
Transplant his brain into a monkey's body, and the monkey's brain into his body, and then trigger revivification.
"IGOR, Throw ze Svitch!"
"Don't you know dead is spelled m-e-n-t-a-l in CoH? - SapphireShot
Use him as a perpetual stand-in zombie for the "Walking Dead" TV series.
62. Use as the public face for your reclusive one-man, basement-studio death metal band.
63. Have your photo taken with Statesman at the States Theme Park!
63. New winter event: the Stateman luge!
64. Ticket Taker for the Paragon Bus System. Or bus driver, whatever.
65. Demonstration model for any and all new power set animations.
66. Zombie Statesman, new Incarnate Pet!
67. New Pocket D Event: Zombie Statesman vs. Adamastor death match!
68. Your Next Signature Story Arc: Statesman and Ghost Widow, a forbidden romance from beyond the grave.
69. Upgraded Manticore Task Force features dead Statesman as the final AV. No, he doesn't do anything, he's dead. It's still an improvement.
70. New contact for the Undead Statesman Task Force. It's zombieriffic!
71. Fill with helium, replace the Atlas blimp.
72. Use as advertisement to lure people back to the arenas. Come fight Statesman! You can beat him now!
my lil RWZ Challenge vid
73) replacement for the worn out Rikti test dummies in the RWZ
74) Aggro magnet
COH/CoV - Virtue
8 Ball - Lev 50 Kin/Energy Defender
The Canadian Fist - Lev 50 Ice/EM Blaster
Omega Ghost - Lev 50 Robo/Dark MM
Ghostfall - Lev 50 Arachnos Crab Soldier
75) Newest Incarnate trial: Statesman pinata. Basically, we just beat on his corpse to make Incarnate threads fall out.
76) Have him "man" the complaint desk at city hall. Bonus points for having the dead parrot sketch playing somewhere in the background..
It's not how many times you get knocked down that count. It's how many times you get up.
Here's an even dozen more to keep it rolling...
77. Have Ms. Liberty start dressing up as him and saying things in his voice, like, "No! I tell you no! I won't have you bringing some young guy in for supper!"
78. Have him show back up, acting like everything is normal... only to reveal that he's actually a monster made of black smoke.
79. When they spread his ashes, it accidentally creates a massive dust storm that destroys Talos Island.
80. When Halloween rolls back around, have one of the Statesman Masks be the real Statesman Mask. If you trade it in, you get as many damn costume slots as you want.
81. Turn him into a robot that uses the tag line, "Thank you for your cooperation" as he arrests villains. (I'd buy THAT for a dollar!)
82. Wait, States...who? (It turns out that "Statesman" was just a figment of Positron's imagination the whole time, never even real.)
83. Use Ouroboros to go back in time and kill his father. Now we don't have to worry about it.
84. What shall we do with a deceased Statesman? Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him.
85. Use him to make commercials.
86. Give him to Grant, Kari, and Tory. (Sorry Statesman fans, but Buster is still the headliner.)
87. Put him in a glass box on display in City Hall.
88. Have him all blue-and-glowy outlined with a voiceover telling certain Defenders, "Use the force... field."
We've been saving Paragon City for eight and a half years. It's time to do it one more time.
(If you love this game as much as I do, please read that post.)
89. Fuel 100 jokes, ranging from awesome to groan inducing.
90. Use him as sapper-bait in those dang Malta missions.
Goodbye. Not to the game, but the players. Goodbye. Everyone, remember to have fun. That's all I can say.
Huggable Pillow.
(He's dead? I saw him in Independence Port yesterday, he was fine.)
92. Vanguard's newest anti-Rikti ship munition. Hey, it worked back in the Rikti war with him flying through a ship, just imagine when he can do when flying at them at mach 5!
93. Send him to Vernon Von Grunt!
Click here to find all the All Things Art Threads!
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow
City of Heroes is a game about freedom of expression and variety of experiences far more so than it is about representing any one theme, topic or genre.
|
Well... since I started it...
94) New Animatronic in the Hall of Heroes at Paragon Disney...
95) Bury him in a Nemesis Plot.... cemetary type that is...
96) Finally unmask him! To reveal another mask.... after a whole slew of Kakashi-esque jokes...
97) Prop him back towards the audience for the first annual "Completion of Statesman's Helmet" contest winner display...
98) Stand In for Keanu Reeve in all his upcoming movies... (no one noticed)
99) Body + Electric Catapult + Remote Control = Distraction Temp Power for final confrontation with Darrin Wade...
100) Cape to serve as new flag atop City Hall... still on Statesman... don't ask me how he's "mounted" to the pole...
101) Nothing... basically replicating how "useful" he was during life...
My mind wanders so often you've probably seen its picture on milk cartons. - Me... the first person version of the third person Steelclaw
102. Sell his vacuum dessicated remains in every flying disc bought from the Paragon Market.
Edit: Ninja'd by Steelclaw himself. 
"Don't you know dead is spelled m-e-n-t-a-l in CoH? - SapphireShot
103. Two Words: Fake Statesmen
104: ...Followed an issue later by a mysterious new contact in Ouroboros named Arnass Tent....
my lil RWZ Challenge vid
Quote:
Absolutely! Our trenchcoats should be leather too. But then I want many textures. |
Originally Posted by TonyV
Why just his cape? You want something with real leather texture to it?
|
S.
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
59) Cup holder
http://www.virtueverse.net/wiki/Shadow_Mokadara