Ways To Make Free Players PAY...

Hmmm... that title may be a little misleading. I'm not talking about making them pay as in "I curse retribution down upon thee! May your children be born with goat beards and all your future lovers be card carrying members of the Disease of the Month Club!" sort of Pay... rather I mean ways to get them to switch from Free to Play status to VIPs.

My plan is to annoy Free players just enough so they switch to VIP just to get a break from the irritations without annoying them so much they quit entirely.

The following "alterations" will affect Free To Play players only:

* Any use of fire powers inside an office building by a F2P character will result in the sprinkler system going off. This will include a minor debuff to fire damage as well as making an annoying squish-squish-squish sound when you run.

* Any dual blades, broadsword, etc character who jumps in an office map while their weapons are out have a 10% chance per jump of sticking in the ceiling.

* Passing by a vagrant or beggar on any outdoor map will result in the message "Oh yeah! Like I expected a cheap ba***rd like you to spare some change!"

* When entering an instanced mission there is a 0.5% chance that the player will enter an over-head 8-bit graphics map with an annoying midi sound track and simple early 80's sound effects. The entry message will read "We're sorry but due to budget constraints brought on by un-named MOOCHERS we couldn't afford flashy graphics for this mission."

* Attempting to participate in ANY costume contest will result in transformation to the exclusive "Hefty Trash Bag With Holes For the Arms and Neck" costume set.

* While fighting Lost the enemies will occassionally say such things as "Sheesh, and I thought WE were on a tight budget", "One of us! One of us!" or "Get a job ya bum!"

* Although it will be viewable ONLY by Free to Play characters, any character having earned one or more Incarnate levels will have a new aura where a spot light of golden illumination lights them from above while cherubs hover playing beautiful cascades on their harps and fan girls/boys of incredible beauty and scanty dress follow them screaming in rapturous adoration.

* Instead of saying words of praise for their accomplishments, Civillian NPCs will occassionally stop, glare at the character and spit at their feet.

* Training to the next level will now cost influence.


As a complete aside I've decided to include a Steelclaw bonus track with this one. Which is a fancy way of saying I had a random thought in my head and couldn't think of a list to cram it into....

* Avatea is a British woman of Asian heritage living in America who speaks other languages fluently... If I ever have the honor of meeting her I'm going to have to make sure my passport is up to date before I dare say "hello."

How about every time a F2P player curses at another player in the game, a 25 cent charge is placed against their account that has to be paid off first before any money they do spend applies to becoming a Premium player. Their own personal swear jar.

I have to agree with Nik on that one. would love to see a toon with swords get stuck in the ceiling. that would be awesome

I'm all for these, and the moment they are implemented I will stop playing Premium or VIP and will move to a free account forever.

When on the forums, F2P players can ONLY read Steelclaw threads.

I think all that will be needed is replacing the tips on the mission transition screens with Steelclaw posts with a big message after them stating, if you subscribe, these will go away.

I agree with all of those, Steelclaw. Very nice ideas!

None of these will happen precisely because subscribers will complain that free players are getting stuff they aren't and will demand that these options be purchasable in the store.

Steelclaw, you make me laugh everytime I read one of your posts, please keep it up

We've made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our servers, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again. The line must be drawn here. This far, no farther! And I will make them pay for their inventions to work!