Dating and Immorality in COH

I heard tell 'bout some heroes bein' all long-lived an' the like an' how some people'r gettin' their tights in a twist 'bout im's an' mortals gettin' t'gether. Well, I ain't got a 'pinion 'bout that.

My gran-pappy was 72 years old an' he got 'imself one o' those mail order brides from way out yonder Asia-ways. I swear that young thang took purt near twenny years offa him in less than a week.

Any-who, that ain't what I'm here to jaw 'bout.

You city-slickified heroes up there in Par-ee-gon City ain't just human, y'all got robots an' aliens an' dead things wot get up 'n walk 'round. An' their all datin'! I tell ya, nuthin' turns my stomach quicker than to see some pretty human gal hookin' up with somethin' that'd wouldn' look outta place in a high school science lab petri dish.

I got riled up one day not too long ago. Saw one o' them there sen-shent robots walkin' down the street holdin' hands with a pretty young thang. I grabbed her by the arm and demanded to know what in the low-tarnation she thought she was doin'.

"What's he got that a human guy ain't?" I yelled.

"Attachments and upgrades," she says.

I tell ya, it's disgustin'. But I guess I can at least unnerstand hookin' up with a 'bot. I mean, if they got some kinda habit y'all can't stand at least you can reprogram them. The ones that really make my dander go from hover to fly is them there aliens. You know those public pools? The ones the kids all use as their personal toilets when they's swimmin'? Picture that without the chlorine... That's the human gene pool right now. Humans matin' with aliens is like someone pouring a pick up truckload of instant pudding mix into the pool.

It just ain't right, folks.

I went on the internet an' looked at some pictures of human/alien umm... "relations".... jus' fer research purposes o' course... an' it was plain-grade-A deeeesgustin'. They don't even mostly got the same plumbin' we do. I'm sorry, but any time you gotta hire a engineerin' consultant 'fore makin' whoopy with yer lover, you jus' might as well stop 'fore ya start.

There was one fellah I talked to what had jus' started walkin' out with this here shape-shiftin' alien girl. He was all proud an' excited 'bout the possibilities.

"I can be with any woman in the world now," he says, "and never cheat on her!"

"That's right fine 'nuff," I replies. "Least til your alien 'cides it might wanna try out bein' the man in the wrestlin' match a time or two."

When I left him he was a might on the round-eyed side.

But even the "explorers o' other worlds" aren't the worst of the lot. Nah, the basest, most horrible o' 'em all has got to be them nekid-feel-ee-acks. Now, I have already been quoted as statin' I ain't got a problem with youngers an' olders gettin' together to explore each other's generation gap, but fer the love o' Pete at least make sure the older one's heart's still beatin'!

I blame the Vampires on this one; both the sparklin' an' non-sparklin' varieties.

I suppose it makes sense in a way. Most women I've ever met would drive a man to his grave... I guess this is just their way o' cuttin' out the middle man.

So's I figger I'll jus' keep to my own kind. Human women may have their issues (dear lord ain't they?) but least they're human. Then I get a gander o' one o' them there Rikti Billboards...

They could be anyone.

Ah hell... Maybe I'll get me one o' them there female-type robots instead...

... one with big attachments.

To say nothing of the demons. Sorry, Infernal-Americans.

Steelclaw got bored.

EVERYONE RUN!

LEGION OF VALOR - Be a part of the Legend!

I for one welcome our half-alien, half-dead, half-robot, half-demon future overlords.

Have you ever noticed how when, in any setting with nonhuman races, an individual's race is specified as half-X, the other half need not be specified because it's always human?

Humans: We'd hit it.

I'll quit now.

Remember humans, anything goes so long as the cutlery-space-demon-rabbit and infernal-angel-wombatdozer aren't the same gender.

In retrospect, I probably should have saved those pictures somewhere rather than just link them.

I think I'm *really* glad I keep images turned off whilst browsing from the office...

I'd continue to contribute to this thread but I've run out of images I can get away with posting.

I'd never wish pain upon others... but.. I'm okay with it if steelclaw gets bored. The rest of us won't be for long.

Hahahahaha

This was great.