Awesomesauce...and now I'm hungry for bacon too (or re-hungry).
TPBM can gain all the knowledge of a book by literally sleeping on it for the night.
That is really sweet *buys a bunch of how to books*
TPBM can project personalized Halloween Costumes onto whom ever they wish
You don't want to see what I have in mind for the guy I have a crush on....
The person below me can telepathically communicate with animals. But only the really cute and cuddly ones.
Yay! I can communicate with spiders! What? Cute and cuddly is in the eyes and arms of the beholder...
TPBM gains the ability to befriend all computers.
Yay. Computer, show me the pentagon files.
TPBM has the ability to summon the Cookie Monster.
*Ulli appears*
whoa!
Grants TPBM the power of turning anything they want into a COOKIE!
Cool! *Turns the whole 2012 doomsday theory into a chocolate chip cookie*
I grant the poster below me the ability to disprove the 2012 doomsday theory!
to 
TO THE END!Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!
So, my book about how it was all coincidence will be out in 2013.
TPBM has the ability to understand all languages.
Sweet! Now I can tell that Abudin-jihad loser to go **** himself in his own language.
TPBM can freely insult others without actually offending them.
to TO THE END!Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!
Hmm, though it's a power I'll never use: I'm too nice.
TPBM has the ability to magnify his/her voice when insulting people.
I SAID YOUR MOTHER SU.... oh, wait it's my turn.
I grant TPBM supersonic flight, but without invulnerability. Better invest in a windscreen.
Hello, my name is @Caligdoiel and I'm an altoholic.
Yay! I just have the biggest eyelids in the world and clothes pins in my handy dandy gadget belt!
I grant tpbm the world's smelliest feet, you are the government's secret weapon, when all else fails they send you in.
http://tiny.cc/ArcaneDefenseItems
This is a bug, nothing more. Please put away the tin-foil hats, there's nothing sinister going on here.-Protea
http://tiny.cc/WhatBeatsADragon
Nice! This'll help me get a girlfriend! WAIT A MINUTE! AUGGGGHHHH!
I grant the poster below me the ability to woo the next girl/guy he/she meets.
to TO THE END!Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!
Only the next? Aw drat, I'm going to have to go into seclusion until March...
I grant TPBM the power of prehensile ear wax!
Well, it saves money on Q-tips...
My pet snail bites the poster below me, imbuing him with the powers of a radioactive snail.
Ice/Ice Blaster. Dedication to concept is an ugly thing.
Claws/WP Brute. Sex without the angst.
Every CoX character lies somewhere on this spectrum.
*slowly leaves a slime trail across the thread*
I grant the next victim the power of Rubber Ducky Duplication.
MisterPiggins!
Comics Shaven Forums
Sweet! Now I can make lots of moolah selling rubber duckies. Or I can take over the world with a rubber ducky army. 0-o choices, choices...
TPBM can convince marketing to be better all around.
Yay?
TPBM has been granted the power of kaleidoscopic vision
I've always wanted to see things from a new perspective!
TPBM has complete control over his/her emotions.
to TO THE END!Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!
I will rule the world with my self control!
TPBM can make a clone of themselves when needed.
Yes! Armies of scrappers! Mwahahahaha!
TPBM has the power to summon bacon at will.
I'll always be a "Champion" at heart. My server away from home.
"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." - Thomas Jefferson
"With great moustache comes great responsibility" - Zee Captain
Mine! Mine! Mine!
Yay!
TPBM can teleport! But only to one spot. Choose wisely.
One spot, but repeatedly? Well, I'll obviously choose "right beside the love of my life"
TPBM can shoot lightning from their posterior.
Wow. That's rather overpowered, is it not?
The Poster Below Me has Flatulence.
to TO THE END!Villains are those who dedicate their lives to causing mayhem. Villians are people from the planet Villia!
Sweet
TPBM can cure every disease known to man just by touching someone.