Never done anything fantasy but this is funny. Useful, inspirational bit of comedy actually. LOL.
The party had found their way to some ruins.. I was playing my halfling thief. We discovered some unpleasant chaps hiding and they were quickly subdued and tied. I was left to 'guard' them whilst the rest of the party went to explore. Whilst they were gone i was attacked by a flaming hell hound.. The thoughts that quickly flitted through my head went along the lines of: Empty the waterskin over it to put out the flames! Free the prisoners and use them as a distraction! Play fetch perhaps.. it looks like a dog after all.. albeit one that's on fire.
I freed the prisoners, who promptly legged it out of the ruins, leaving me with a hungry looking beasty that possibly thought of me as a tasty snack. I did the only thing i could do... I threw the crowbar at it and shouted "FETCH!".. Unfortunately due to 2 critical failures in a row i failed my animal handling, and throwing, promptly impaling the things leg with the crowbar. It bled to death in a couple of rounds.
The party, on returning, refused to believe i had killed the creature myself.
Help Dirk Knightly the freelance detective solve a case in Arc ID:368097
Many, many years ago, I and a friend was introducing a second friend to Cyberpunk 2020. First friend was GM, I and the second friend were playing policemen (Harry Callahan style.)
For some reason, we were at a nightclub trying to track down some information. started by trying to intimidate the local roughboys. That failed and a couple of roughboys pulled their jackets back to show they were packing heat. Whereupon my friend had his character leap over the bar and open up with full auto fire from his MP5. In a crowded nightclub.
Fair enough. Stupid move, but that happens. Except he fumbled on his firearms roll. And hit my character. Repeatedly. For max damage. Through an insanely lucky first-aid roll my character managed to stabilise the wound enough that he'd die on the next turn, rather than right away.
Except that by now the roughboys had barricaded themselves behind an overturned table, so my friend's character decided to lob a fragmentation grenade at them. (Remember: he's a police constable and this is in a crowded nightclub full off regular people.) Again he fumbled. Time to throw on the dispersion table. Guess where the grenade landed? That's right, right at my character's feet. So much for first aid.
You aren't serious right? You're SUPPOSED to take the [censored] out of fantasy. There are TOO many running jokes in my D&D group for me to count. I'll name one for now. My character decided to stop some urchins who were working for this Master Assassin guy from stealing something so I could find out what he was after. Unfortunately, the urchins ran off to get their boss, as soon as I realised what was going on I ran like hell. For the rest of that day I was always looking over my shoulder to see if Grilli (the master assassin) was following me.
And from then on, the other RPers in the group have been randomly shouting things like "OMG GRILLIS BEHIND YOU!" and "OMG THAT NPC IS ACTUALLY GRILLI IN DISGUISE!"
Oh, and my favourite, not so much a running joke but more a tale. In my first ever session of D&D I had rolled up an assassin-type character and my brother had rolled up a paranoid, psychopathic, compulsively-lying noble who claims that he's the Emperor of the Eastern Lands. Anyway, so in our first meeting I refused to show respect to him or acknowledge that he was the Emperor so the next morning he convinced one of the other RPers to lock me in a room so he could kill me. And kill me he did. And chopped my arm off.
Bad Voodoo by @Beyond Reach. Arc ID #373659. Level 20-24. Mr. Bocor has fallen victim to a group of hooded vigilantes who have been plaguing Port Oakes, interfering with illegal operations and pacifying villain's powers. He demands that revenge is taken on these miscreants and his powers are returned! You look like just the villain for the job. Challenging.
Man, I need to get into PnP sometime XD
Always leafing through my big brothers old DnD 2nd Ed books, but it all gets a tad complex for my brain-ina-jar 
The mould! The mould is coming for you! XD
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Originally Posted by Zwillinger
GG, I would tell you that "I am killing you with my mind", but I couldn't find an emoticon to properly express my sentiment.
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Originally Posted by Captain_Photon
NOTE: The Incarnate System is basically farming for IOs on a larger scale, and with more obtrusive lore.
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In Mutants and Masterminds, people love my character's cape. Liberty Belle has a cape with DRAMATIC POWER. If she's quiet, it curls around her, if she's angry, the folds at the bottom almost make it look pointed, it swoops out of the way of getting caught in doors, billows out when she's looking heroic, fans out when she's landing.
Tis a good cape.
In Fading Suns, I gave FFM's character my shocksword to hold off some zombies on a space ship as I went to get into my plate armour. He swings at one, rolls a critical miss, hits the zombie who then stumbles off with my sword.
In Deadlands, the combination of Consecration and Dynamite. Holy Hand Grenade! Also, my Saloon Girl started throwing oil lamps off a saloon balcony to rain down on cultists, seeing as her derringer wasn't much good against them. FFM also used his Gatling Pistol, rolled a critical failure, and instead of firing bullets fired the barrel instead.
I've got far, far too many of these.
My first ever PnP game I played Mega traveller and broke the GM's giant, angry war machine boss with a grenade throw that can only be described as incredibly fluky. As the robot exploded the magnetised armour containers ruptured, spraying the entire room with rounds. I decided my character wouldn't dive for cover, but stand there looking awestruck, the dice were clearly feeling in a funny mood as everyone in the party is put down with multiple wounds... and my character didn't have a scratch on him. Not bad for a character with no combat skills.
Later on he killed the main plot hook NPC with a heavy machine gun, although in my defence there were ninjas and we weren't getting paid for ninja.
In DnD my gruff dwarf kicked a badger so hard it cleared the tree tops, he ran so far from a rust monster when we saw one that they had to send the elf to catch him, curse these short legs! I also have a Halfling Rogue who's a hanger on for the party, following them purely because she thinks they're awesome. She solved one trap using figure skating, which the GM simply hadn't accounted for and spends half her time writing down the groups legend, but greatly dramatized. We usually get free rooms in inns purely because they start telling tall stories and then never stop.
Oh and during this years student Nationals we were a Space Glam Rock band and I got to beat a T-Rex into unconsciousness with a pure gold guitar. The former year I was playing a Tarzan clone and wrestled a mind controlled Nazi T-Rex into submission and then dropped the end boss on a box of live hand grenades (Accidentally. Honest)
In a Paranoia game I GM'd at University, I had one group go into a near nervous breakdown when sent to guard an invisible train, which didn't exist. But they had to pretend it did. As soon as they started to cope with this an incredibly loud and unstealthy train arrived, and they then had to pretend this one was invisible, no matter how blatantly it wasn't. The whole thing was overseen by poor Molly-O their poor mission coordinator who was on her last clone and was desperately trying to get the group to succeed in the mission, nervous and terrified they were going to screw up.
As things got from bad to worse, a group of clones turned up to steal the train,another to defend it and some Indigos even came down to work out what the hell was going on with the players in the middle desperately trying to brook peace. After some amazing diplomacy, lying and flagrant use of Mutant Powers they had the situation diffused... and Molly burst out of the elevator, screaming "How did you screw up such a simple assignment!" and firing off her two illegal slug throwers. After a huge hail of bullets and lasers, with deaths and new clones all round, the group were assigned the project permanently and ended the session wondering if they couldn't just shoot themselves now and get it over with.
Other moment that left us all awestruck.
Party encountered a Wraith, The fighter charged the Wraith but thanks to a critical miss, had his sword lodged into the wooden beam above the door leaving the Wraith a free shot.
The Thief then declared that he was going to "run along the wall, jump, grab the sword, spin and shut the door" the GM looked at him with a smirk saying he could well try it but he'd have to roll for every action and they'd all require atleast 16 or more on a D20 for running along the wall and jumping and an 18 or more for grabbing the sword and getting the door shut.
The bugger promptly and rather casually pulled this off all off (so 5 dice rolls, the last of which was a natural 20, forcing the GM to give the thief enough time to say a pithy remark before slamming the door), preforming what was essentially a Legolas style move...as a halfling thief...
Badge Earned: Wing Clipper
A real showstopper!
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Other moment that left us all awestruck.
Party encountered a Wraith, The fighter charged the Wraith but thanks to a critical miss, had his sword lodged into the wooden beam above the door leaving the Wraith a free shot.
The Thief then declared that he was going to "run along the wall, jump, grab the sword, spin and shut the door" the GM looked at him with a smirk saying he could well try it but he'd have to roll for every action and they'd all require atleast 16 or more on a D20 for running along the wall and jumping and an 18 or more for grabbing the sword and getting the door shut.
The bugger promptly and rather casually pulled this off all off (so 5 dice rolls, the last of which was a natural 20, forcing the GM to give the thief enough time to say a pithy remark before slamming the door), preforming what was essentially a Legolas style move...as a halfling thief...
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Never, EVER, whatever else you do in life...
Underestimate a short@ss
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Originally Posted by Zwillinger
GG, I would tell you that "I am killing you with my mind", but I couldn't find an emoticon to properly express my sentiment.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Captain_Photon
NOTE: The Incarnate System is basically farming for IOs on a larger scale, and with more obtrusive lore.
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I was playing Mummy (old white wolf game). Me and the rest of the group were riding around the mean streets of Jerusalem in our scythed charriot. Lo and behold, who should step out in front of us an an inoppotune moment? That's right. Jesus. We kinda accidently mowed him down. One of our group then had to masqurade as him for the next year.
DnD 4th Ed:
- My wizard is a 31 year old recently ex-student who was only removed from his almost permanent residence in the academy library for running up a late book fine large enough to bankrupt a small country.
- He has terrible accuracy with spells, one magic missile shot his swordmage teammate into a gelatenous cube, he has been grabbed by his own Icy Grasp, and managed to perform some interesting interior redecoration by misfiring Colour Spray at a dungeon ceiling.
Cyberpunk 2020
- During intersession downtime, my corp suffered a mental breakdown due to paperwork overload (Team crashed a 1.2mil e.b Mercades AV into corp property) and now has a level in Bureaucracy.
- Our fixer has a manic phobia of cleaning bots and shoots to kill on sight. Plus, he's woken up in a dress, twice.
Bastardised NWoD (A trilogy movie game with 300xp given to all participants, the game originally started on the Discworld).
- The party's quest was to originally find a Golden Muffin Tin, the party managed to destroy a large empire while trying to accomplish this.
- My l-space librarian character ("Librarian Kei, this is a reality check"), uses high level fate magic to give people who return books late exceptionally bad luck.
That last game was run just this evening, but we can't run the next session until all the players are back together again, which might take some more months.
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I was playing Mummy (old white wolf game). Me and the rest of the group were riding around the mean streets of Jerusalem in our scythed charriot. Lo and behold, who should step out in front of us an an inoppotune moment? That's right. Jesus. We kinda accidently mowed him down. One of our group then had to masqurade as him for the next year.
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Hahahaha, oh man, I've never done PnP, but this is unheard of!
@MidnightGuard - on Union you may know me as:
Mr. Vile - Electroman X - Zenodorus - Battler
Naga Knight - Stinkspitter
Not really, I heard of a Mage game where hey were time travelling and managed to accidentally land the time machine on Jesus, and then impersinating God in order to try and restore the timeline.
Hilarity Ensues
Hmm, evidently the games I GM need more Jesus...
More of a post, hopefully bring in to discussion any outstanding moments you've ever had in Paper and Pencil RPGs if you do them, just got off the phone with an old friend who use to be in the local RPG group.
Our group has agreed never to do any fantasy based P&P games because we can never seem to take it or the adventure seriously.
Some examples as to why:
<ul type="square">From me, as the Barbarian, first off accidently offending a local then proclaiming in a loud Brian Blessed voice, "AS THIS IS YOUR LAND...YOU MAY STRIKE THE FIRST BLOW!"
A Jules Vern style flying airship which ended up being christened "The Maximillion Blartey (pronounced B-lar-tae)"
The panic of seeing a crate containing yellow mould promptly being met with the throwing of a torch...which set fire to the thatched roof of said church...while on a simple mission to procure holy water.
And I wont forget the time there was only me, one other person and the GM, the other person being a thief who forgot to buy their thieves tools which resulted in us having to break into the house by tying a rope around what was essentially a can of spam, hurling it onto the roof to hook it around the chimmney. The thief already on the roof thanks to his climbing claws being brained by said can of spam on the first try thanks to a critical miss. Both of us removing the roof tiles and then me lowering him down, mission impossible style into one of the rooms[/list]
Whenever we seem to try a fantasy genre game...it all ends up with us taking the mickey out of the genre or have it go horribly wrong.
Badge Earned: Wing Clipper
A real showstopper!