Purple Lovin's highly sarcastic review pit
By
Armsman,
Posted on: 2009-05-12 09:04 in Mission Architect
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A regen brute?
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Or maybe she's /dark, I have no idea. I don't run brutes man, I'm all about the pew pew pew. 
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I was worried that the Wardens were too hard... Maybe I'll give them Devices and give the minions something else... a few people complained about Web Grenade spam.
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The wardens did generally use the ranged attacks instead of their melee attacks. They were challenging, but with the duo we had going it wasn't impossible - just a little tense. I think it's fine if they only spawn with a team. I would have been worried if they showed up in solo, even then I could have hit & run the group a few times and taken my lumps. The Webgrenade spam was a little annoying, but unless it was a full immobilize, I personally could just siphon speed out of it while giving my teammates seizures with SB & IR.
Other AT/powersets might have found it a lot more annoying, but then bank mishes red side abound in web/glue grenade spam anyway.
"...his madness keeps him sane.": My Profile on VirtueVerse
Can You WIN the Internet? MA Arc #85544
Inhuman Resources - At Work with IE #298132
Task Force Mutternacht #349522 <-- 1st AE Challenge
Arc 64537: The Great War of Paragon
Due to the lack of people posting their arcs to be shre^D^D^D^Dreviewed lately, I asked on the Champion MA channel if anyone had stuff they wanted done. One poor soul, who obviously is not familiar with my acidic pool of literary bile, offered his arc to be reviewed. I'm sure that it's just a matter of time before the very mention of my name causes purveyors of mediocre arcs to tremble... TREMBLE I say before the sheer power of my biting wit!! BWAAA HA HA HAHA!!!!!
Ehem...
1) The contact is "Solar Fusion", founder of the "Resolvers". I smell a vanity arc already. He says that "there is a gargantuan war coming", and he'll "give me taste of things to come". Although the last sentence reminds me of my altar boy years, I hit accept and am transported to a ruined Atlas Park, where Nemesis troops are fighting Rularuu. Is this time travel? A prophetic vision? People in costumes on a cardboard set? I click a bodybag and find... my own body. Ewww.
2) "Since you've agreed to help," (I did?) "I need you to go wipe out an office". Yep, it's a kill-all, this time featuring Praetorian demons with a splash of Carnies. Fortunately you get an ally, "Steel Strike", a sword/something EB with no info text. The minion barks are taken from the Generic Mob Handbook: "You can't possibly succeed." and "It is inevitable, you can't possibly stop it." (stop what?)
3) With still no explanation, I'm sent to a cargo ship. Although there are no spelling or grammatical errors, all the dialog in this arc is extremely minimal. Solar Fusion says 1-2 sentences per screen. The mobs are DE with a splash of Malta (??) and although this isn't a kill-all, there's plenty to do: 3 rescues, 2 boss fights and one glowie.
Things start to get _really_ weird here. The glowie is a safe (on the side of a cargo crate) with a file on the Resolvers saying how they are feared because when things don't go as planned they kill both sides. Uh... ok. The hostages are guarded by some unusually chatty DE boulders, and one hostage says, "Thanks, I'd like to fight you sometime." The Malta boss is a Titan who says 'Oops' when defeated, and the DE boss is a Hamidon mito named Katie.
By now, I'm suspecting that this is the sequel to "The Extadine Lab"; I actually smoked a high grade of paraquat-soaked reefer prior to the first scene, and have been hallucinating ever since. I'm half expecting to round a corner and encounter the Bugblatter Beast of Traal, or hear Nieman and Marcus arguing 
4) The office-into-tunnel-into-Rikti map, where 7th Generation Paragon Protectors are fighting Squall Elementals.
5) To un-destroyed Atlas Park, filled with Nemesis, and also by pedestrians who say "nice day, isn't it?" You fight Lord Nemesis, an EB who says "how you like them apples?" when a hero is defeated. Then Solar Fusion spawns (fire/fire EB, generic info text) then upon defeating him he was revealed to be a shapeshifter, so we fight Lunar Fusion (dark/something EB) Upon return, Solar says "ah Lunar Fusion, I knew she was after me". Or something. No, it wasn't a hallucination.
I hate to pick on a fellow Champion-ite, but The Great War of Paragon commits almost every FAILing that there is; sparse writing, custom mobs without info, a defeat-all, mobs chosen at random, story makes no sense at all, EBs without warning in description.
Rating: FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL
8538, Honor's Shadow. I, for one, welcome our new caustic overlords.
I realize you may have quite a backlog; that's fine. Just looking for an honest critique. Eventually 
Arc # 8538: Honor's Shadow
I was looking forward to playing this, since it was obvious from the title that the author had created a mission arc set in the Legend of Five Rings world. Although I never played the RPG, I was quite a fan of the CCG when it came out, and could recite large chunks of the storyline whenever the corresponding card was played. I made many strange and bizarre decks, and spent hours wondering whether Hida O-Ushi wore anything under her armor. Since the mission description said there were EB/AVs, I used my brute, Fast Kitty, who might seem out of place in L5R, but I could just nickname her "Oni no Neko"
Sadly, there was no trace of Rokugan here. That's one FAIL already.
1) Your contact is Hsu Lu, an agent of the Tsoo. Asking if you want something to do, he says to get an amulet from one Lisa Wu. Without further ado, Fast Kitty flew to the dance club, and said "mew mew" as she blew away Longbow. After a mojito or two, I found Lisa Wu, and ran back to the door.
2) Unfortunately, the mojito glass had some gunk on it, so the Eye of the Gaki was stuck to my hand. Or something. Since I couldn't just carry it around, I went to get a tasteful setting for it on a necklace, which happened to be in a warehouse filled with Freakshow. Nothing really special here.
3) Now, the Eye is bound to me, but by honor it belongs to someone named Kageshi, but he's in the Zig. So, obviously, I need to go to Portal Corp to stop his younger self from retrieving his older self through a time portal. The building is filled with Yakuza, which are designed quite well. The author avoided stereotypes by only giving _one_ of them ninjas, and martial arts to one other. Some had control powers, which can be annoying on minions, but there were about 7-8 types of Yakuza (not counting bosses, if any) so there wasn't much spam. Another non-stereotyping bit was to give them modern clothes instead of kimonos, although one had green hair which seemed odd. Also, they all had Japanese names, like 'wakashu' being the ninja guy. At least I think they're Japanese names. Aside from L5R and a splash of anime, all I really know about the Japanese is that they like noodles and have really, _really_ strange taste in porn.
Eventually, you come to 'young Kageshi', who is ninja/ninjitsu. That's right, he's invisible. This is not a good thing. Because he is in a dead-end room, someone who is looking to stealth the mission will never fight the group that he's in, wandering the building for years until arthritis sets in and they can no longer operate the mouse. OTOH, someone who walks into the group will be unprepared for an AV/EB and be given a steel enema.
4) Now, all I need to do is assassinate the rival Oyabun, and the Tsoo's power base will be complete. Wait, I mewed, I only agreed to steal that fsking amulet, let's renegotiate my fee. Hsu declined, so I entered the Yakuza base.
After more killing, I found the Oyabun... with Older Kageshi invisibly beside him. Both bosses summon ambushes when low on health, hitting me with debuffs and making my framerate look like Powerpoint. I was only able to win by retreating, hitting Overload and pulling the Oyabun, watching some tentacle prawn while the tier 9 recharged, and finally going after Kageshi. When I was done, Hsu Lu rewarded me with my very own geisha, but upon closer inspection it turned out to be a chicken in a kimono.
Honor's Shadow is a good arc, but it has two fairly serious flaws; Bayushi Kachiko isn't in it, and the difficulty level of the EB fights is too high for the average player. Still, it's so well written it gets just half a FAIL.
Rating: FA
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Legend of Five Rings world
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Er... heh, sorry, i have no idea what this is, except the real book (of a similar name). Card game?
Glad you liked the Yakuza! What was most annoying about the end fights that could be tuned, allowing solo play but still providing a challenge? Change their secondaries?
I didn't even *think* of people not being able to see them, the toons i tried it on have high perception 
.... I can dump /nin but don't want to replace it with something equally annoying, so I'm open to ideas.
Going to go check out yours after fooood. Be back in a bit!
Oh yeah, the flavor text on the Yakuza explain the names (in a brief sentence or two). Taken from a couple sources on "authentic" Yakuza terms. In quotes, because I'm not likely to be able to ask them and verify...
Oyabun and Kobun are a relationship, not "the boss and his right hand," but that's the popular understanding of the words, so hey. But f'r example, the green hair kids; those guys represent the motorcycle street punks, Bosuzoko, "speed tribes;" low-rank street gangs who might get recruited. I really liked that name and had to include them
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Legend of Five Rings world
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Er... heh, sorry, i have no idea what this is, except the real book (of a similar name). Card game?
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L5R is a CCG that came out in 1995, which later was expanded into an RPG. The CCG is still being produced today.
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Glad you liked the Yakuza! What was most annoying about the end fights that could be tuned, allowing solo play but still providing a challenge? Change their secondaries?
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The first fight can be fixed by just making the guy visible. As for the second, two EBs at the same time is too much for almost any solo player. Separate them, or make the Oyabun just a boss. Also, ambushes with debuffs are painful during an EB fight.
L5R has my favorite game world.
And I would worry less about Hida O-Ushi's panties and more about the large hammer and her larger father, The Great Bear.
OK, clearly i'm gonna have to write this as i go or i'll forget. Also you made me miss dinner, you jerk, since i was going to make it, but made the mistake instead of starting your arc, and now i can't stop...
#83920: Two Chicks at Once
== SPOILER ALERT ==
== AVERT THINE EYES ==
== SO NOT KIDDING ==
The intro text is good, sets the tone right off. Meheh. After mish one, i was looking forward to how LR would react to the clue...
Entry text to mish two made me gigglesnort. After whacking a few Crey tanks, since that's all the map had for my level and diff solo, i Hid and zoomed around looking for the objectives. +1 Grey Goo reference. Other clues are win as well.
Mish 3: Fugeddaboudit.
Mish 4: oops, encountered Mantis before Mistral. Ah well, i like a challenge...
Good fight in a burning, messy base, filled with demons and Mantis jumping all over me. I may need a shower. A very cold one.
Mish 5: Was wondering what could be next. The ringtone is awesome. Entered mish: GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Excellent use of animations to reverse the polarity of the neu- uh, i mean the roles associated with an ally and the surrounding group. Bravo. Now that i have BOTH of them, i can only imagine that the final EB will be Galactus.
Get last crate, get new objective: ah, close enough. Popped Tier9 on me TWICE and took out Mistral somewhere along the line, but we got her. Me and Mantis walked out of that one alive. Now to find a locksmith...
Overall, a fun mish, well-paced. The glowies in the last one go by fast. Someone soloing who's smarter than me and stealths to the ally BEFORE the EB in the 4th mish will have no trouble at all if they manage their aggro a little. You, sir, win a full
ROFLCOPTER
complete with ejection seats.
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The first fight can be fixed by just making the guy visible. As for the second, two EBs at the same time is too much for almost any solo player. Separate them, or make the Oyabun just a boss. Also, ambushes with debuffs are painful during an EB fight.
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OK. I think i will:
- first EB in mish 4: He's not supposed to be hard to kill at that point, after all. I'll change his secondary to remove Hide.
- Final mish: bit of a problem here, since making either of them a Boss means they will show up in large spawns. They will have to stay EBs, but i'll nerf their powersets to Normal across the board, and
- reduce the ambushes to easy. The debuffers will probably also get a power nerf. Also, removed one of the ambushes completely.
I do want a crimelord to be summoning his gang to help, and i don't want it to be empty on large teams, but i think that will still be where i want it.
People should know to switch targets when they need to anyway. I'm performing a public service!
I do want the last mish to be a little crazy, but not discouraging. I realize it may not be doable by every AT at every level, but i'm ok with that if the story comes off well and the fights are good. Maybe, optimist that i am, one day, AE teams will be formed to go thru actual non-farming arcs. I think the rewards for the arc are good for its diff.
Arc #74097: Canine War
Champion may not be the biggest server, or the PvPest or farmiest, but, IMHO, it has the least morons per capita, the most catgirls, and it's the friendliest server by far. When I asked on the Champion architect channel yesterday if anyone had an arc they wanted 'sarcastically reviewed', two people came forth right away. I hopped onto Netminder's Canine War with Purple Lovin' since there was no mention of EBs in the description.
1) The contact is a fox named Iron Blood, who asks for help against the wolves who have been oppressing his people for generations. This is original, and brings up visions of scantily clad Kitsune maidens He tells me about an ancient blade that supposedly can kill a wolf with a single scratch.
I'm sent to an outdoor map, populated by wolves. Some are the standard Shadowhunter wolves, and some are custom mobs, who have Latin names like 'Canis Aureus' and 'Canis Cunnilingus'. Or something. Instead of claws, they have powers like Fire and Mental, which adds variety and makes them not helpless when attacked from the air. They all have well written info text as well, although there are a few scattered spelling errors, which continues throughout the arc.
I rescue three captives, who have glowy captured animations to make them easy to spot. There's also a 'dirt' glowie that says "This is where the blade should be, but it isn't". How does the player know? Is there a signpost there that says "This is where the blade should be, but it isn't"?
2) The foxes need the CoT's help to enchant the blade, and conveniently enough, some mages were captured during an archeological dig and need our help. Into Oranbega, to rescue two Death Mages from Banished Pantheon, which makes me wonder how the top of the CoT's food chain could be captured by a few zombies. We also click three glowies, plus there's an extra glowie with info on the magic blade. I walk away thinking, "This is all a bit TOO convenient..."
(dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUN...)
3) Some well written exposition text about how the wolves use mercenaries, who aren't very good at keeping information, cuz they're mercenaries and all, so we should go speak to the mercs for information. (read: severely pummel) I go to the Eden outdoor map (complete with Arachnos flyer), where the nav text says 'get information from mercenaries'. The map is populated by DE, with some patrol groups named 'Mercenaries' wandering around the lake, who are Elder Vipers with some wolves mixed in. I commence pummeling the patrol groups, but nothing happens, so I fly around the map blasting everything I see, until I fly back near the starting point and see a hostage named 'Mercenary defector'. Either this guy was spawned after the defeat of some random other groups (BAD idea) or I'm just an idiot.
UPDATE: I played through the arc _again_ today- the things I do for my readers!- and discovered that the hostage _is_ in fact present when the map is created.
4) We have been given the location of a remote wolf village, which "the mages can shower with death." (?) To another outdoor map, filled both with wolves, and some foxes too, again with interesting powers and well written descriptions, although that doesn't really factor in because all you need to do is defeat the leader, an EB named Blood Fur. He gives you a Plot Twist upon defeat, but it doesn't really change the story much.
Canine War is a well written arc, which scores points for originality, and only FAILs by having an EB without warning about it in the description.
UPDATE: Upon playing it again, I found that Iron Blood is found as an allied EB in the final mission. Although EB/AVs should _always_ be announced in the arc description, this does make it more viable for non-awesome types.
Rating: F
Arc 139281: Ghost Widow's Strike Force
The other person who volunteered for Sarcastic Reviewing was Mistress Shaana, who warned me that her arc was designed for teams, which was echoed in the description, so I broke out the kitty. No, not that kitty, this kitty.
A robo/dark/mace MM is like a walking battalion. Huge blasts of fire and energy damage, all at range, which keeps the group together for heals and avoids AI issues. The protector bots heal the group, and keep you and the bots safe in bubbles. Dark has an AoE defense aura, many dmg and tohit debuffs, an AoE heal, a hold, and another pet. Mace adds more defence for you and another hold. Add triple leadership, and you have an Unstoppable Kitty of Doom (in PvE at least).
1) The contact is Ghost Widow, which is a good sign. If she had a real SF, people would be standing in line to do it. I can't be the only one who runs the mouse pointer over GW's boobs during the CoV loading screen, right?
We are sent to an abandoned warehouse to retrieve a Night Widow spy from Longbow. It's obvious why she got caught: her name is "Night Widow Spy". You'd think Ghost Widow would be smart enough to send someone named, say, "NOT A Night Widow Spy", which would improve her chances dramatically.
Here, the FAILing begins. It's a defeat all. Then, after Defeating All, we escort the spy back across the map to the exit. Then, we find and defeat Indigo, who spawns waves of Longbow ambushes... then, cuz it's a defeat all, we need to mop up the ambushes. Time wasters are bad, mmmmmkay? It's even worse if it's a team, because Defeating All takes at least as long, plus you've wasted up to 8 people's time instead of just one.
2) Ghost Widow reveals that she has found the Soul Stone, which will allow her to transfer her spirit into someone else's body. This reminds me of her patron quest, where she tried to become human, but the Arbiters said no. I guess Arachnos likes her as a ghost. Besides, if she were to become human, she'd have to change her name to something other than 'Ghost Widow', and Bewb Widow is already taken
We go to some caves, filled with Rularuu with Longbow patrols, who don't attack each other for some reason. After getting the Macguffin and defeating the Eye of Doom (dialog: "DOOOOM! DOOOOM!") we encounter Crimson, who summons waves of Longbow as well. Not a kill-all mercifully.
3) Ghost Widow needs a ritual to do the deed, so we are off to raid Oranbega. This is becoming the biggest cliche in the game, both in MA and canon. The Circle could avert all these raids, and make a fortune, by opening an online bookstore.
Here, I suspect that Ghost Widow has been smoking some Funny Little Cigarettes. I'm not sure how a ghost can do that, though... maybe when a real joint dies during traumatic circumstances, it becomes a ghost joint, which Ghost Widow can smoke. Anyway, when telling us about her plans, she concludes with "MUAAAH AHH AAHH!!" In the sendoff text, she says "Get going you buffoons!" (not the still busy text, the normal sendoff text).
Anyway, after fighting through a big Oranbega map, we find that Akarist has the Secret Ritual. The Kitty And Her Deadly Robots are unable to defeat him, due to his high resists and regen rate, plus his running around the map constantly, into the Oranbegan pain crystals, which messes with the bots' AI.
But, let it never be not said that I don't not run though broken glass for my readers. I logged off that kitty and got my Brute kitty, slogged through the previous missions, and engaged Akarist, who nicely stood still while being pummeled.
4) Ghost Widow has decided that she wants to inhabit Miss Liberty's body, so we need to capture her. (Insert joke about being inside Miss Liberty 
) As we leave, GW says "be warned, she won't go down easily." Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.
We arrive in Atlas and find Miss L... who, for some reason that defies explanation, is a Hero rather than an EB, despite my being soloed on difficulty level one. I hit Overload, but I can't get in anywhere near enough damage before it crashes, so I'm outta there. (ironically, the MM kitty _did_ solo Miss Liberty as a hero once, although it took 3 Shivans. Still, I'm not going through all that again.)
Ghost Widow's Strike Force is impossible to solo. Although this was warned about in the description, it still puts the arc out of reach of 95% of the player base. To quote Venture, if it's your job to design a whorehouse and you design a slaughterhouse, you've failed. Or something. Worse, the time-wasting first mission and mediocre writing make this something you wouldn't want to subject your team to anyway.
Rating: FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL
Arc 139281: Ghost Widow's Strike Force
I gave this one a quick spin myself using my DM/EnA Brute. He's got Smash/Lethal Defenses at 52% thanks to set bonuses, with the others up there as well. It's even worse than you said. That "Miss Liberty" mob (aside from having the wrong name) is actually the version of Ms. Liberty from the Recluse SF. Not only won't she scale, she has an extra "Liberty Belt" self-buff that pushed her tohit from 8-9% to just under 90% and about tripled her damage. You're supposed to need the SF's temp power to kill her. I have no idea why this (or any other non-scaling mob) is even available in the Architect.
Needless to say, I couldn't solo her either (I might have been able to without that buff, though it would have taken all day) and one-starred the arc. The rest of it was wretched too, writing was terrible.
Current Blog Post: "Why I am an Atheist..."
"And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained/As we did in the days when Victoria reigned!" -- T. S. Eliot, "Gus, the Theatre Cat"
I typed in [Liberty Belt] and got the following:
+52.5% resist to all damage (!!!!)
Mag 17.3 Status resist
+50% ToHit
+160% damage
Stacked onto a Hero's damage, resists and hp regen, I strongly doubt that this beast could be beaten even by a team.
Which brings us to an even greater issue. Ghost Widow's Task Force has 22 votes with an average 4-star rating. If Venture 1-starred it, even if no one else did, that translates to 15-20 people giving 4-5 stars to a mission they didn't complete, which means blatant vote-wh0ring.
New rating: EPIC FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL BO BAIL BANANA FANA FO FAIL
Stacked onto a Hero's damage, resists and hp regen, I strongly doubt that this beast could be beaten even by a team.
It was said in VU2009 that the RSF Ms. Liberty could be defeated without using the Orestes Rifle. That's probably quite a fight. (The RSF is one of the few things in the game I haven't done personally.)
Current Blog Post: "Why I am an Atheist..."
"And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained/As we did in the days when Victoria reigned!" -- T. S. Eliot, "Gus, the Theatre Cat"
Ugh...Ghost Widow's Strike force...Trust me, after that mission. IT GETS WORSE.
I ran it with a full team, so we were able to get to mission 5.
Ghost widow warned us that the supergroup that the author belonged to had been contacted to stop the ritual. So we set off to take them out.
We get to the last room and what do we see?
The author's character, as an AV, surrounded by a huge mob of at least 12 CUSTOM ELITE BOSSES, half of which were storm, the other half of which were forcefield.
We quit.
Qr - this review thread is excellent. I really like your attitude and style. Your humor and the good humor with which you deliver your criticism really tempers any negative feedback you have. I'm even considering submitting one of my arcs to your eye LOL, which says a lot!
I'll check out your arcs anyway-if your writing here is indicative of them then I'm sure I'll enjoy them.
I'll post my comments here when I've played them, plus a request for a reView if Im brave enough.
Eco
MArcs:
The Echo, Arc ID 1688 (5mish, easy, drama)
The Audition, Arc ID 221240 (6 mish, complex mech, comedy)
Storming Citadel, Arc ID 379488 (lowbie, 1mish, 10-min timed)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow
[The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."
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Arc #124796: A Night at the Opera
In light of the poo that's been dripping through this column the past week, I feel the need to showcase a good arc, even if just to show that Champion-ites can produce quality material.
Knowing Wayward Girl, I jumped into A Night at the Opera expecting to find a Bacchanalia of scantily clad catgirls, but was only slightly disappointed to find a well-written story of secret societies and betrayal. I won't give a mission breakdown cuz I did it a few weeks ago and forgot the details, but suffice it to say the writing is superb and the badguys are not too hard. Definitely give this a try if you want something to wrap your head around.
Rating:
Arc #182289: The Audition
As of this writing, the author of The Audition hasn't reviewed any of my arcs yet. However, since this column is sinking faster than (insert Michael Jackson joke) and I need a threadbump, I'll jump in anyway.
----------------==========IMPORTANT===========--------------------
If the author HAS reviewed one of my arcs, read the black text and ignore the red text.
If the author HAS NOT reviewed one of my arcs, read the red text and ignore the black text.
------------------------=====================----------------
1) The contact is Synapse, who congratulates me on applying for entry to the Freedom Phalanx (I did?) and offers me a chance to use the MA portal to audition. A bit of technobabble here, but we're used to that by now. He teleports me off to Skyway, where we see...
A Troll rave, except the Trolls are all naked. Eeewwie. Not only is it a defeat all on a huge outdoor map, there are 12 "Supadin Lab" to destroy.
Wait, this isn't Skyway? Where am I? The nav bar says 'Find out what's going on', so I blast a glowie, which gives us an interesting clue, which leads to the blasting of four more glowies and some custom mobs named 'Destiny'. However, these guys have grav powers, which is not a good thing to give to minions, especially those who appear in multiple. Some funny (albeit confusing) dialog throughout.
2) Synapse scolds you for missing the audition, but offers you a chance to fight another baddie to redeem yourself, so he teleports you again. Again, you arrive not where you should be, but in a cave, where you soon run into Lord Recluse himself!
Not only is he the lvl 54 AV from the SF, he summons multiple waves of Arbiter bosses in addition to Bane Spider Executioners he normally spawns. I had to quit, restart, and bribe some Protectors of Neverland to join me in taking him on. Fortunately there are always a few dozen hanging around the MA, although finding ones above level 8 wasn't easy.
He didn't attack, though, just followed me around as I killed more Arachnos, eventually destroying a glowie in a big room filled with water where dozens of Arachnos troops were swimming. The map is a unique one I didn't recognize... the Grandville YMCA, maybe.
3) Synapse is yakking at me again. His dialog is funny repetitive and well written filled with spelling errors throughout. My next objective is to 'resist temptation', so I'm sent to...
...the Paragon Dance Party map, filled with dancing catgirls. And catboys. Naked.
...a bank that should have been empty, but it's being robbed by the 'Habitual Criminals', a funny custom group (although I only saw one kind of minion besides the Mother Superior.)
4) More whining from Synapse, but he sends me off to 'Forgive'. After yet another teleporter mishap, I arrive in...
...the Infernal map, which is empty, until after wandering for 15 minutes I click on the 'Confession Booth' in the last room, which spawns a million ambushes throughout the map. Except you don't fight them, you just listen to them 'confess'. I really, really didn't want to hear what the Skull initiate did to his 3 year old sister, and the Knives of Artemis' text put me off tacos forever.
...a cargo ship, where you encounter a really weird group of Maestro's disciples and their really, really weird boss. It's a defeat all, but I'll forgive that because _every_ group is unique and has their own dialog.
5) I'm a complete loser, but nevertheless Synapse needs me to foil Lord Recluse's Grand Master Plan, so I'm sent to...
...the outdoor Dreck map, filled with the naked trolls and catboys from the previous mission. Not only is it a kill-all, but the map is patrolled by about a dozen AVs with Stalker secondaries. They're naked too.
... a spaceship, which looks surprisingly like an Arachnos lab, filled with tiny beings called 'Constructors' who supposedly created the universe. (is the author making reference to the 'microscopic space fleet' from Hitchhikers' Guide?) These guys have control powers, and are hard to beat despite only being Bosses. Also Squall Elementals, which a lot of MA authors use lately, most likely because most people will never see one outside MA. Lots and lots of funny dialog.
Overall, The Audition made me feel...
...violently ill.
Rating: FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL
...somewhat jealous, because the author clearly has access to high quality recreational pharmaceuticals. The arc is trippy and well written, the only no-no being the grav mobs in mission one. Anyone looking for a coherent plot will be disappointed, but those people abandoned the MA weeks ago.
Rating:
#83920: Two Chicks at Once
Ok, my two bits. I ran it with 42 DB/Fire Scrapper.
Mission 1:
- The intro text is a bit confusing as to who is saying what.
"...?" and "What? They are." I had no clue who was saying this, and what the statements meant.
- Longbow has financiers - I thought Longbow was a police organization, which , theoretically should be funded by taxpayer dollars. Maybe just change it to them raising funds for an orphanage or something?
- Enjoyed the custom Longbow mobs, nice change of pace. However, I didn't think they looked 'that' much more stylish than the normal costumes.
- Mission objective list - Need custom objective text "Search the Crate" instead of just "Crate"
Mission 2:
- "We should intercept and destroy..." is very dark blue and almost unreadable. If using colors, I'd suggest using Pastels - tone it down a bit. Same with the green and the red text.
- Objective list - I'd suggest "Crack the Wall Safe", "Steal the Medical Supplies", and "Hack the Computer"
- Crey usually has test subjects. If you have room, it would be nice to have to rescue (or take captive) some of their "enhanced" test subjects.
- "Tome of Bounteous Effervescence" - this sounds very "Circle of Thornish". Crey doesn't do Tomes. Maybe a Crey "Buns of Steel" exercise video with subliminal messages to buy their exercise products?
- Chest Slider with a "sliding bar" - makes sense from the costume creater perspective, but not from within the game. Also sounds very painful. Bionic Breast implants sounds more Creyish.
- "Jar of lotion" - mixed case. Also inconsistent with the object name "Pygmalion's Unguent". This also sounds somewhat like a "CoT" thing.
Mission 3:
- Text: " ... short on inf..." should be "short on influence".
- Ghost Widow doesnt have the closing quote.
- I didnt much care for the transition from talking to Recluse to talking to Scirocco. ( same thing on the next mission) Recluse's portrait still shows. Maybe some narrative text saying you went to see Scirocco and he said the following....
- Scirocco pauses unconfortably ( spelling )
- Who is Irena? Ice Mistral?
- Return message is entirely narrative. I think it would be better if Recluse said "I have picked out a bikini for Ice Mistral". Followed by narrative saying the bikini looks like 2 stamps and molecular wire.
Recluse grins fiendishly - "What do you think?"
Mission 4:
- The mission objectives implied that I would meet an ally first, then defeat Silver Mantis. Silver Mantis spawned on the 1st level ... the ally didnt. I tried twice to solo her, got her down to 25%, but face planted both times.
At this point, I gave up and quit the arc. No point beating my head against the wall.
Very humorous arc. Could use a bit of tweaking, but overall pretty good.
Edit: You don't have to do either of my arcs, just thought I'd check one of yours out. If you decide to play either, you might want to play the brute, they both feature an AV.
131430 Starfare: First Contact
178774 Tales of Croatoa: A Rose By Any Other Name ( 2009 MA Best In-Canon Arc ) ( 2009 Player Awards - Best Serious Arc )
Looks like I'll have time to hit at least one of your arcs tomorrow. Also looking forward, with only a little dread, for your take on my arc.
Author of There's Something in the Water (Arc # 60327)
Not only was that genuine frontier jibberish...
Courtesy: Preventing unnecessary homicides for over 4000 years.
Qr - thanks v much for reviewing my arc. I'm afraid Im having serious login difficulties at present, hence why I haven't played your arcs yet.
Just a few responses re your points. The defeat all you mention isn't a defeat all. It's a sequence of chained bosses (all minion-level) and one object-for the purpose of forcing the narrative to arrive in sequence - that mission being a musical number.
The bank mission is a defeat all but it's a tiny map.
The Audition itself is all 5 missions, each one being the plAyers chance to succeed in one of The Five Heroic Tasks. Unfortunately, the TP sends you to the wrong place each time.
The last mission references the works of Stanislaw Lem, specifically his book The Cyberiad, rather than Adams.
Sadly, my arc may be damaged in some way. In the brief tone I was able to login yesttersau, I saw it was down to 87% from the 100.00% I t was published at, but I cdt'd before o could check.
Thanks for the review, anywY, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Eco
MArcs:
The Echo, Arc ID 1688 (5mish, easy, drama)
The Audition, Arc ID 221240 (6 mish, complex mech, comedy)
Storming Citadel, Arc ID 379488 (lowbie, 1mish, 10-min timed)
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow
[The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."
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I'd like to see 181244 - Waves of Chaos sarcasticized. I believe I played your Positron's TF Remix once upon a time, but I'll go play one of the other two when I get home from work anyway.
Arc ID 181244 - Waves of Chaos
Arc ID 260113 - One Tough Cookie
Qr - I'm afraid I've had to pull my arc The Audition because the MA sucks slightly. I'll still play your arcs when my life stops being such a catastrophic Armageddon of despair, but it might be a while sorry.
Eco
MArcs:
The Echo, Arc ID 1688 (5mish, easy, drama)
The Audition, Arc ID 221240 (6 mish, complex mech, comedy)
Storming Citadel, Arc ID 379488 (lowbie, 1mish, 10-min timed)
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Samuel_Tow
[The Incarnate System is] Jack Emmert all over again, only this time it's not "1 hero = 3 white minions" it's "1 hero = 3 white rocks."
|
A few testimonial statements regarding... Positron's Task Force: the remix
<ul type="square">[*]Thanks to this arc, I now appreciate my bald spot all the more.[*]Thanks to this arc, I'm now cursed with one of the worst and funniest images ever: Positron with an afro. And not one of those little, respectable afros; but one of those giant, fluffy, cotton-ball afros. [*]Thanks to this arc, I've added 6.15 points to my loathing score for the Circle of Thorns. A DM/WP scrapper at level 14 versus Spectral Demons. I think I'd rather have a colonoscopy administered by a blind doctor. (My chance to hit never got above 30% in one fight.)[*]Thanks to this arc, I now understand the Hellions' fascination with Harry Potter. Seriously? Buncha tough, demon-loving gang members who steal some poor woman's long, hard, empowered, vibrating wands? It must be a twisted Harry Potter thing because the other option is just gross... and funny... and still gross.[*]Thanks to this arc, I have a new answer to the age-old question, "How could this possibly get worse?" That answer, watching helmetless Posi doing the slo-mo gorilla. [*]Thanks to this arc, I've already lost five pounds and will probably lose much more. Aside from being put-off baklava for years, I've learned I just need to say I have a hyper-accelerated metabolism and the problem is solved. I'm sure that same excuse could have saved me three ex-girlfriends too. ("It happens to every guy" is apparantly played out. Who knew?)[/list]
Cute arc. The humor is silly fun and the only nasty spot was a +1 spawn of CoT Spectrals (Lt and Minions).
Critiques: The objective for mission three spawned right next to the 'door'. You misspelled 'accelerated' once. You have several openings to bring more humor to the arc. (For example, the wand descriptions could have been taken way over the top.)
Author of There's Something in the Water (Arc # 60327)
Not only was that genuine frontier jibberish...
Courtesy: Preventing unnecessary homicides for over 4000 years.
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and a 45 dark/regen brute (mal'd to 38) running the arc on diff 3.
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A regen brute? Is that the latest vet reward? Or given as a reward for having enough internet memes in a mission? Maybe I'll make the 2G1C mission after all...
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The customs were pretty well balanced, and I think the only thing I would have had difficulty handling solo was the Wardens in mish 5 (& possibly the final EB).
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I was worried that the Wardens were too hard... I didn't have a chance to fight them myself, since (IHMO) you can't get bosses to spawn soloed. They're set to hard, not extreme, but that still gives them access to Whirling Hands and Total Focus. But then, they're set to prefer ranged. Maybe I'll give them Devices and give the minions something else... a few people complained about Web Grenade spam.
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I liked that everyone had flavor text placed in, and I really appreciated that the Ally text changed between the two missions that featured them, despite being the same people. Those are the little details that make a MA Arc quality. I loved Mistral as a cocktail swilling ne'er-do-well.
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I _had _ too... their default description text is too long for MA