The Ridiculous Girl Arc Review-O-Rama

Since I am planning on running Hero Therapy tonight I will toss my arc into the mix.

17006 - End Game.

The details are linked in my sig.

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Since I am planning on running Hero Therapy tonight I will toss my arc into the mix.

17006 - End Game.
The details are linked in my sig.

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sweet... i will put yours on my list...

oh yeah... i just republished some changes. i was just made aware that one of my maps had changed. i wish they would invalidate an arc rather just replace the map. that sometimes blows the entire setting. imagine my surprise when i find out that my burning outdoors map suddenly becomes and indoor map. other changes reflect changes made to the powers of custom toons. hopefully these changes are an improvement, they based on the feedback i have gotten.

So in theory if I play your arcs two more times I can get ALL my arcs in this que right? :P

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So in theory if I play your arcs two more times I can get ALL my arcs in this que right? :P

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ummmm.... no!
actually, i was planning on playing another of yours anyways... but my hope was to get plays to my arcs. so if you would play my donut world arc and give me feedback on the combat of the custom group it would be greatly appreciated.

I did! I endorsed it you silly nilly! Also, I vote we buy youse a new keyboard!

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I did! I endorsed it you silly nilly! Also, I vote we buy youse a new keyboard!

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you did? both? i need a new brain more than i need a keyboard. which is on order. from germany. and we all know that germans are not known for their efficiency... but anyways... if so, then i owe you another run. which would you like? wait a second... did you post feedback or did you give me a pat on the back? you can always run the last arc, if you want something to do. but i need to republish that...

My prime concerns are 1033 and 140129 atm the last being in need of fresh passes to see where my plot holes are, 1033 needs a standard test to see how well it's keeping up with the test of time.

2085 is sg related but it shouldn't detract too much, it's on the low of my list atm


I sent you an in game tell before you made dis hear thread :P In fact I give you an endorsement each time you used to promote it in the channels silly! It was late at night but still! :P Thats actually how i met you I had to figure out why you were talking like you had marbles in your mouth :P


-C.A.

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My prime concerns are 1033 and 140129 atm the last being in need of fresh passes to see where my plot holes are, 1033 needs a standard test to see how well it's keeping up with the test of time.
-C.A.

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140129 Fate & Destiny by Cap'tain Amazing

ok here is what i saw and observed. mission 1 seems pretty clean.
mission 2
in the opening brief second mission, is says "ha sprung up." ahnd there needs to be a space between atlas and park too
i love the touch about no one seeing the ghosts.
but i thought no one could see the ghosts? how can the PPD?
between the close brief for 2 and for the opening for 3 there seems to be a problem with time passed. he say another thing has popped up, and then in 3 he goes "welcome, welcome" and acts like a fair bit of time has passed. i was expecting something right away, apparently but some time has passed. odd continuity...

mission 3
is his name dark lightening or lightning?
in the out brief is says "no telling whose your friend..."
in dark lightning's description it says "in atlas..or"
in DL's rescue text it says "get into MAGIs remains" it is kind of an awkward sentence.
in the rolling stone clue DLs name is spelled wrong again.
in the exit pop up piece is spelled wrong

mission 4
in the opening brief it says "bet your wondering" it needs to be you're
the mender basically repeats the exact same thing as the 3rd mission closing brief.
DL's name is spelled wrong again.
in the final boss' text he spells his name wrong again.

ok i could not complete this arc, cap. everything was fine up until the last boss. i was running on my level 33 AR/dev blaster on rugged. smooth sailing until the final boss. then i could not kill him. i hardly think i brought him down by a 1/4. i was going to lower the difficulty and start over, but i dced and that saved me the trouble. on heroic, even as an orange EB i could hardly make a dent. i gave up after the second death. you might reconsider your powers setting on this guy. he cut me to ribbons and healed quickly. you also HUGE maps for several missions. while i like the destroyed atlas map, having a triggered boss in a map where you cannot even see your progress is frustrating. oh well... if you make any changes to the boss let me know and i will stealth through to the end and respond about the story.

Thank you! o_o I'll get to work on balancing soon! Working on removing Knives and inserting sapperless malta in another arc!

EDIT: Some of those errors should have been updated already unless it didn't take last update! >< Sorry RG, what your playing is an rough draft it sounds like. Will resubmit after I reexamine the errors that may have occured!

-C.A.

Yeah it didn't go through. Fixed all those and adjusted him to an EB with a standard set o.o

I apologize I didn't know it didn't go through. Patch notes HERE

-C.A

Just ran through your arc. That has to be the most ... unusual ... story I've ever played. Very well written - only two minor spelling issues that I detected:
- Hypnotise is the british spelling. American is hypnotize.
- In the last arc: recurrance should be recurrence.


Observations:
- Interesting use of glowies to refer to abstract concepts such as memories. Took me a minute to figure out what you were doing though. Some younger players might be confused.
- Nice custom mobs, although some variation between the minion and lieutenent designs would be good
- Inconsistency on where to find my allies. Never found "Steel" on the 2nd map. And had to die and reenter the mission to find him on the 3rd map.
- I didn't like the 'random' ambushes, which were probably triggered by some glowie or destructible object. If I'm fighting a boss, I usually know to watch for something, since thats the most common use of the feature. When I have to pause after every object, thinking "ambush?", it gets annoying. I almost died twice, and did die once after being ambushed while fighting other mobs. You should state in your mission description that it's not easily soloed by squishies. It was rough on my controller, I cant imagine doing it with a blaster.
- The name "The Steel You Lack" is somewhat insulting to the player. Maybe "The Steel Hidden Within" would be more suitable?
- Not sure why, but the contact could not follow me with stealth on. The other allies had no problem.
- Very funny banter between the mobs. I enjoyed it.
- Mission 4: "Would you like fries with that hamburger".... um, ok, is that some kind of hypnotic trigger phrase?
- Mission 4: There was no rescue text from "Secret Shame". I expect the silent treatment from "Steel", but not from all of them.
Overall, an excellent arc, I gave it four stars.

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EDIT: Some of those errors should have been updated already unless it didn't take last update! >< Sorry RG, what your playing is an rough draft it sounds like. Will resubmit after I reexamine the errors that may have occured!
-C.A.

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hno worries, thne repugblishnihngb cahn gbe a paihn ihn thne hneck. i am hnever quite sure whnehn it is gboihngb to tak or hnot. thnougbhn i am gbettihngbg better withn uhnderstahndihngb its eccehntricites. i will gbive it a gbo later today ahnd fihnishn
it up, feedgback will gfollow. (unedited for cap'tain amazing's sake, damn keyboard)

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Just ran through your arc. That has to be the most ... unusual ... story I've ever played. Very well written - only two minor spelling issues that I detected:
- Hypnotise is the british spelling. American is hypnotize.
- In the last arc: recurrance should be recurrence.


Observations:
- Interesting use of glowies to refer to abstract concepts such as memories. Took me a minute to figure out what you were doing though. Some younger players might be confused.
- Nice custom mobs, although some variation between the minion and lieutenent designs would be good
- Inconsistency on where to find my allies. Never found "Steel" on the 2nd map. And had to die and reenter the mission to find him on the 3rd map.
- I didn't like the 'random' ambushes, which were probably triggered by some glowie or destructible object. If I'm fighting a boss, I usually know to watch for something, since thats the most common use of the feature. When I have to pause after every object, thinking "ambush?", it gets annoying. I almost died twice, and did die once after being ambushed while fighting other mobs. You should state in your mission description that it's not easily soloed by squishies. It was rough on my controller, I cant imagine doing it with a blaster.
- The name "The Steel You Lack" is somewhat insulting to the player. Maybe "The Steel Hidden Within" would be more suitable?
- Not sure why, but the contact could not follow me with stealth on. The other allies had no problem.
- Very funny banter between the mobs. I enjoyed it.
- Mission 4: "Would you like fries with that hamburger".... um, ok, is that some kind of hypnotic trigger phrase?
- Mission 4: There was no rescue text from "Secret Shame". I expect the silent treatment from "Steel", but not from all of them.
Overall, an excellent arc, I gave it four stars.

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thank you, hercules. (i have not said that in a while...)
i am working on a french laptop made in china for an american company with a broken keyboard and using word in the UK language setting to edit. the odd are stacked against me. but i will get those typos, thanks. i hate going through mounds of text over and over.

in regards to your observations...
the hospital map has a lot of problems spawning stuff. the therapist should always spawn in front and the allies too after being triggered. i had to move him to the middle, because he was always spawning in the back, in the last room. i guess i should try messing with where the allies pop next.

the little nightmares are just that. i run through with my blaster. i forget where the triggers are all the time. so i am paranoid. i like a little paranoia inserted in my arcs. the other arc has even more paranoia. someone suggested i put in text, them calling out something embarrassing. but i like their silence. i ran wit a team of super lowbies, 3 of us, we saw a single file of about 10 run by silently we all backed up against a wall and did a collective "WHAO!" that was what i wanted. they are a pain, they are managable, and i even die myself occasionally. it was pretty difficult with the lowbies, primarily because of the auto-sk and the variety of high level mobs. but we did complete.

i like the name the steel you lack. got it from a song. you do learn later that he is a part of you, just something that you might not realize is there.

fries and hamburger is your trigger phrase. he does mention that a trigger has been implanted.

i might have put a rescue response, or i might have forgotten for secret shame. i am constantly bumping up against the memory limit. that is why the custom toons are limited. one minion, one LT, one boss. you have to do a lot of give and take in the missions, that is what i chose.

thank you for the feedback. i will look in to some things. i will also put your arc up for playing soon. today or maybe tomorrow.
RG

I've been thinking about it, and if you want to put up a review of Rise of the Drakule, ridiculous_girl, feel free. The reason why I initially said no is because I felt that since I didn't specifically put it up for review, that it would be unfair or some crap. I've since realized that reasoning is stupid. I'll play through one of your arcs as per the rules if you want to type up a review of it.

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I've been thinking about it, and if you want to put up a review of Rise of the Drakule, ridiculous_girl, feel free. The reason why I initially said no is because I felt that since I didn't specifically put it up for review, that it would be unfair or some crap. I've since realized that reasoning is stupid. I'll play through one of your arcs as per the rules if you want to type up a review of it.

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as you wish, LJ, i was not offended by your initial decline. i would only be too happy to do another one of yours. i asked because i was surprised that venture admitted so few of reviews for himself. i figured maybe it was the same for you. i will put you on my list and post something. i will do your sequel to drakule, since that one is newer and i think longer. i did like the first, so i am looking forward to the second.

give me a few days since i have a couple of others in the queue ahead. i cannot do anything as in-depth as your reviews are, i am too scatter brained. i have this horrible keyboard that slows things down tremendously too... but i will go through and tell you what i think. for whatever that is worth.

No rush. Any feedback at all is appreciated. Most people run through an arc and don't leave any feedback whatsoever.

140129 Fate & Destiny by Cap'tain Amazing

even though i was not going to proof your arc a second time i saw something... opening brief final mission, it should read "more than happy..."

ok, i ran this with my level 30 MA/SR scrapper on heroic. since i ran it before i stealthed through most of it. several of the typos that i mentioned before are still there.

that ending was a bit of a downer. the problem that i have with this entire arc is that i am really the bad guy here. our interference with the time stream is the ultimate cause for the outcome. each time. DL becomes a hero originally because he saves someone. but with our interference he does become a hero but for another reason. his primary motivation is changed. or did i get that part wrong? i am still not clear what the ghosts have to do with this and what their interference is for. maybe i missed something, but that really seems like a loose end. i think i really missed what the primary cause for all this was. why were the ghosts attacking, to prevent this? if they were from the future, then they are also the primary instigation for that future. the problem with that is if that is so, the only way to correct that paradox is if they not only if they went back in time, but sideways. the other problem is that our interference ultimately brings this about.

while i understand that 3 mission map, it is a huge pain in the [censored] to search for that small object and then set out to search again for DL, luckily he is surrounded by something different than everything else. in the last map, which is also huge, you are not so lucky. you have to pick him out of a haystack. was he surrounded by ghosts again? is it a battle? i do not remember off hand.

i don’t know... your use of huge maps really got on my nerves after a while. it is a good thing, since i have use several myself that i know where the spawn points are... but that third map is very difficult because you cannot track your movement. so i really end up going all over the place. that last map, again, is understandable, but it is one of the largest in the bunch. i doubt you will change them because thematically they make sense. but you need to make things easier to find the final objectives. why do you even mention the shivans? it is an aside that is a wink with the mender, but it is a throwaway line. there are many loose ends here, i feel. to compound the problem is that i went through it several days ago, but had to start and finish it again. i may have missed more than i should have. but your continuity is funny. the first mission makes sense, the second not so much so, third yes, and the fourth yes. i feel it needs a lot of work, but i am not sure where you should start.

sorry for such a rambling mass of free association feedback. probably has to do with the lack of continuity in my running it twice. i hope you can get something out of what i am saying here...

SPOILERS

Mender's mentioning of the shvians is a call back to the wonderful issues in Ourbourus that you must deal with as a player. I was given a tip to make him sound a bit more..zany, as the real Mender is in your interactions with him. He's very confused at times and tends to ramble.

The ghosts attempted to go back in time or their period to STOP what was happening. Now, WE, the audience, know that this is impossible (most of us know this :P) since if you go back and stop the cause, you can't have been effected by it and it would not have caused you to go back in time to begin with. But, seeing the state of the world, I'm sure they weren't thinking clearly :P How? Time Portal generated by a Ourbours stone, a stone that shattered as they tried to concentrate to use it, sending a lot of them spiraling back in time into various eras, each with a section OF the stone o.o

This is left untold for later use and to add mystery, including, how did that stone even get there? o.0

The final mission ending is meant to give you the same feeling as most people got that saw "House of the Dead", you watch this entire film being a fan, you aren't understanding what it has to DO with the series, only to find out the hero of the movie turns out to be the bad guy of the first game, making it a prequel. Granted I couldn't go and name the characters name "$name" since the replacement text doens't work like that, though I think it would have been cool if I could. The one shot mission i refer to that Tina in PI sends you on sends you here. Now as presented it's unique to every player since it's meant to be THEM, however I was unable to do that. What i did instead was I made the lesson the important issue, and that whoever came across these remains would learn that absolute power may NOT be the key to peace. I may have failed in pushing that along as it seems.

The issue with the item is on my mind, I made it a trash can to be a bit easier. The chaos I hope to show in the third mission might be the issue all together since you weren't able to easily find these things. The map's build itself is also workingh against me, Thematically I can't change it until I figure out a better way. I apologize.

As far as you being the bad guy, in the end your not, if the ghosts would have succeeded, then yes the world MAY not have turned out that way, but then the exploring parties of our world would not find the destroyed world, and not have learned a lesson as intended by the mission in game canon. The underlying lesson I was trying to show was that even if unpleasentand horrid things happen, everything does happen for a reason, at least in this game :P The same fundemental applies to the "Kill Hitler" idea. Sure you could go back and kill him, may save alot of people, but you would drastically change history.

Check out Red Alert from Westwood studioes, it touches on this theory, Russia and America kept going at eac other until we had major problems, and Japan was left unchecked to grow into a power house that eventually conquers the globe.

I'm in the middle of payroll, so I'll take another swing when I get home :P

Thank you however!

-C.A.

Also, was the eb easier? :P

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Also, was the eb easier? :P

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yes, but with my scapper maybe too easy...

but as i was saying with the ghosts... you have a time loop paradox. what is the primary cause of this disruption? something that creates this alternate reality... unless they, the ghosts, are already moving sideways as well as backwards in time you need an outside interference in the time stream.

sorry that was so unfocused a feedback review. BTW... i blame it on cooking dinner at the same time.

No this alternate reality already exists as far as Game Canon goes. It's designated as such by Portal Corp. The ghosts themselves are from THAT dimension, not ours o.o

Uncle Sam Wants YOU arc #10558 by Hercules

ok i ran this with my level 30 MA/SR scrapper on heroic.

typos and observations along the way of playing through...

mission 1
-opening brief it says... "asking ..." and "i'll understand.,"
-save what remnant? how is he here? how are we getting to his world?
-there is a period after the unknown soldier.
-where is this happening? you answer it in the mission pop up.
-the time bomb has the original rikti description... can't that be changed?
-in the dialogue for the unknown soldier the period needs to be in the quotes. he has no description.
-with Nuclear Adam, one nuclear does not need to be capitalized. no description either
-are the rescues randomly distributed? i found them all in about the same area...
-no clues?

mission 2
-is there an east germany if the war never ended? maybe eastern Germany?
-is this side mission of finding the daughter really necessary? why now? kind of an odd coincidence...

mission 3
-no clue for mission 3?
-no descriptions for any character
-your zero has the original skyraider skiff description.
-convenient that statesman had a chameleon suit
-why should that prevent Japanese forces on american soil? it was just one raid disguised as a German...

chapter 4
-mission brief their is spelled wrong
-you need to change arachnos to the arachnos and make the second sentence plural. otherwise it sounds like a person rather than an organization. now i am confused. is arachnos a person? since the raiders are asking an arachnos agent where is arachnos...?
-why is it a defeat all in such an enormous map?


ok this arc leaves a lot to be desired. you have great costumes, but that does not make up for the problems that i saw. granted this is the first part in a series. but you have too many threads going on here to make much sense. you have an enormous number of custom toons in this arc, and you have done this at the sacrificing of detail. not one of your custom characters have a description, with exception of uncle sam's short one. none of your destructible objects has anything different in their descriptions. for example the time bomb in the first mission has still has the original rikti bomb description, which thematically makes no sense at all. tons of cool custom toons running around do not make up for these simple details.

the next major problem is the story line. you have five missions, they are almost all unconnected, with the exception that two of the three heroes from the first story make an appearance in the last mission. otherwise they are missions that do not connect with the next one. they may play to the overall general story, but they do not build upon the other. what does saving uncles sam's daughter have to do with any of the later missions, except boost morale of the forces? it is a mission that is unrelated to any of the others. you left many things unanswered and weirdly open ended. in the 4th mission you go to help arachnos, but it seems to be both the organization and a person. at times it is difficult to differentiate between the two also. i am guessing that this is lord recluse? it is thrown in there but nothing develops of it.

the dialogue needs a lot of work. it is very clichéd and standard. it seems to come from all the bad war hero movies. for example...

[NPC] Shogun Taganaki: I knew you German dogs were not to be trusted! Prepare to die.
[NPC] Shogun Taganaki: The Empire will soon dominate the world.
[NPC] Shogun Taganaki: You cannot hope to defeat me.
[NPC] Shogun Taganaki: What? This is not possible.

i am not sure what you can do about it. it is very standard and could stand a lot of improvement.

your 4th mission is the worst. you have an enormous map and it is a kill all. this is a huge no-no for a lot of people. to make matters worse it is an arachnos base which makes for a lot of nooks and crannies for bad guys to hide in. i do not even think it made sense for the story to kill all. not really sure why i have to rescue people either. or that one was an ally and the other was just a captive.

this arc was all over the place. you frame the Germans with an attack on a Japanese base and that stops all Japanese operations on american soil? you stop two top generals and that turns the tide for the battle? there is too much cut and dried hero movie clichés here. truthfully just this arc should be cut in two. on for the Japanese part and another for the German part. then maybe you can put in some details and tie the stories together. you would reduce the number of custom toons, there were 11 of them (?), and free some space up for other things. this arc needs some major revisions. it has potential, but as it is now i feel it is a mess.

I have commented (or perhaps raved) about Hero Therapy (tm) in your review arc.

I humbly submit my own creation (in the sig), with details available here.

I hate to have you do this, but I was told last night by someone who played it that there are a few instances of "dropped words" (which is a constant problem when I'm doing text re-edits), but they didn't know where they occurred. If you do run it, can I ask you to keep an eye out for them? I tried searching for them but only came up with a case of using the wrong "their".

Thanks for your assistance and thanks for making an outstanding arc!