Just FYI if you're interested: I've done some fairly extensive rebalancing of the enemy group and so far have managed at least to complete the fourth mission (the only one we tried) with a team of three and no deaths. If you'd care to check it out, you can run the whole arc again or play Arc 193541, which is identical except in that it starts with the fourth mission for balance testing. Naturally I'll be taking that one down when I'm satisfied with it.
Of course I'll gladly repay any further feedback you can offer in kind. 
I played and rated yours. If you get a chance, please play mine:
#4824 - The Legacy Chain Task Force
Heroic
Four missions, level ranges 45-50
Enemies: Circle of Thorns, Longbow, Mother Mayhem's minions, custom
A Legacy Chain agent has followed a mage to Paragon City and seeks your help to take him down, but it appears he's not telling you the whole story. Stop the summoning of the Demon Kings before it's too late, and help lead a broken team of heroes to redemption. Team recommended for final EB/AV.
[ QUOTE ]
Just FYI if you're interested: I've done some fairly extensive rebalancing of the enemy group and so far have managed at least to complete the fourth mission (the only one we tried) with a team of three and no deaths. If you'd care to check it out, you can run the whole arc again or play Arc 193541, which is identical except in that it starts with the fourth mission for balance testing. Naturally I'll be taking that one down when I'm satisfied with it.
Of course I'll gladly repay any further feedback you can offer in kind.
[/ QUOTE ]
i would have no problem running it again. give me a few days and i will have revamped the hero therapy and you could run that again. i would probably run it with my lvl 33 scapper for change. or maybe my blaster...
i have read 1001 nights, though it was a few years ago and my brain is a sieve. i am pretty sure it was compilation of the burton translations. i am not familiar enough, and my memory is horrendous, with the stories to recall the specifics. but i like your use of the stories.
i am not going to go through and make point by point comments of your previous post. but when i thought about it i realized it would be difficult to adjust freeing the jinn in the first mission. my thought right at this moment is maybe make his first release accidental, and his second deliberate. meaning that you interrupted the COT in their dig and as you are searching one of the jars you find one that is unopened. it may or may not be the clue jar, but probably would be... just a thought.
yeah toning down the bad guys to standard would probably help a great deal. it is probably what you ended up doing. at the other end of the equation is removing just one custom. as i mentioned... removing one freed up 7% of space for me. which is an amazing amount of space when you are so used to shaving off a .05% here and there. you should give it some serious consideration. then if serafina ever makes an reappearance, you can make the switcheroo back.
regardless... it is a good arc and i am willing to give it a go again in a couple fo days. let me fiddle some more with mine and you can give that another run.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
Arc Name: Return of the Three Fold King
Arc ID:163274
i ran this mission arc with the locksmith of love, my level 33 ILL/RAD controller, on heroic.
mission 1
is the professor a coward? does he have no powers? who is he? why should i trust him? especially if i am going to bring him an "item of power?"
found? by whom? if it has been sitting there long enough for you to put an ad in the times, why hasn't it been taken away?
is it mythology is you recover an actual artifact? lemuria is considered a myth, but if there is an actual artifact that is something different. then you are studying history...
i think it was a battle between COT and foot soldiers. the COT says... "oh great it is $name" this maybe a patrol triggering something too early...
foot soldier description says... "prove themselves to their dark gods, and they generals"
in the description of the depth lord is says he is after the mace too... what mace?
where did the clue come from? the depthlord? did he drop the runestone? was it in his pocket?
i counted at least three patrols, that i never met but saw their text. the text assumes that you meet the patrol, by using the $name. not once did i meet a patrol. they were all dead before i got to them... i saw one COT in the mission.
ah i see that i was right in not trusting him in the first place. why should i trust this guy and further help him? he has already proven himself untrustworthy? why should i countinue?
mission 2
i do not need to defeat the leader, but i have to go and defeat another boss anyways? why am i stealing it from the tuatha? why am i doing the dirty work for the contact? ah i see, for a clue... on the other leader.
but in the clue, why is he carrying the crumpled page from his own diary? or is it someone elses? the preist's...
but doesn't breaking the shield around the king sound kind of like releasing him? so, am i being played for the fool here? why am i helping this guy?
mission 3
i love how he says "we," when i have done all the work for him and he has not done a thing! he maybe powerless against the lemurians, but he could help. pick up a damn gun!
how do i know the combination to the safe? and why would the stone be mixed in with some files? kind of careless... for the legacy chain. what is it doing there in the first place? ah i see the safe combo clue now... but why would they tell you this and give you the stone? i guess i had time to stop and explain everything and to convince them to give me their combo.
your clue for the stone is very different than the exit mission pop up... and there is no punctuation at the end of the pop up...
mission 4
i am really getting sick of doing this guys dirty work. take out all the leaders for me while you are there, kind of thing. all while he "investigates..."
in the nav bar it says... "3 crate ," and also find the runestone... so why am i searching the crates again?
why does the arachnos negotiator say "Oh great its Locksmith of Love! I heard of them!" note the typos too. why not use $himher? that way you could get i have heard of him...
so am i to assume that either the statue or the amulet is the runestone? since they were in separate boxes and i did not notice which came first for the runstone... a bit confusing. niether clue really mentions a stone. though the statue seems to meet the exit pop up more. the contact talks about a stone? what stone? i have a statue and an amulet. and where is this mace mentioned in the first mission? what is the object that is not the runestone, niether of them seem very important or informative.
mission 5
"fate of the world?" i have yet to see anything that would convince me of this...why am i helping this guy?
after finishing 4 missions for this guy he still has not explained who the 3 fold king is, or why he is called that.
in the 3 fold king's description he it sas he has been studying for centuries but his death statement says he "just woke up..." which is it?
why was he searching for the runestones for himself anyways? why now? all he would need is one runestone, anyways, if that was his weakness...
the king came from the ether?
analysis
ok, you have an interesting story going on here and it has a lot of potential. i liked the custom toons. the custom groups were not that difficult on heroic, i hardly ever had a problem with them. not even the king. was he an EB? there was no EB warning if he was. i did not see many typos either, one or two here or there. though some of your sentences run on and need better punctuation. not my cup of tea, though... you need to do what i always do... hassle one of your friends to fully edit it for you. but anyways... the interesting story and the nice costumes do not make up for a lot of problems. i am glad i wrote everything down as i went along because i would have never been able to remember it all. you have many plot holes and loose ends.
the first problem is a big problem. you will start to see it in my comments right off. it is the primary motivation for doing all of this stuff in this arc. why am i helping this guy? why should i trust him? how do i know he is being straight shooter? he already admits decieving me after the first mission... so i am supposed to recover objects of power for a guy that starts out by decieving me? i know i supposedly answered his ad, but i would have walked away pretty much as soon as he said "i would go myself, but it is crawling with COT..." this has warning bells written all over it, i am pretty stupid to fall for a story of some guy claiming that there will be an invasion and the only way to help against this alledged bad guy is to recover four objects of power for him... and take out all of the contact's enemies while i am at it. all the while he is probably sipping tea and laughing at my foolishness. seriously. i have to be a pretty big sucker to fall for such a thing. it defies my common sense. you need some serious reworking on my primary motivation to make me do all this for some stranger. at least tell me that the guy from the midnighter club vouches for this otherwise crackpot. something needs to be done with this, because i was annoyed by the whole scenario for the whole arc. why am i doing this guy's dirty work? he did not even bother to betray me! 
the next problem is your original justification. why is the king trying to recover the runes? why now? where is he coming from? why is it that he is always just a little bit too late? or am i too late? where is the contact getting all this information right now? if the contact knows where all these things were why did he not recover them before the lemurians get on the scene? yes it makes me go from one mission to the next, maybe with a sense of urgency... but it is all too convenient. he asks for someone to get this thing from a cave, just when i go the bad guys are there, about to walk off with it. it has been there for a while, why then? coincidence? so then the contact gets information for the next one, and surprise... the bad guys are already there! i go to the next place and who should happen to be there? it is all too coincidental, all too convenient. why now? why all at once? why are they trying to recover the stones anyways? why am i try to help this guy? how do i know he is not the bad guy here?
i don't know... i could go on and on, but i think that would be counterproductive. you have a good story, but these two problems that i brought up drove me crazy. there were a bunch of other things that i mentioned in my comments. i am sorry if this seems too negative, but i am not telling you throw out the baby with the bathwater. it just has some serious problems that you need to tighten up. i am not even sure the ending was very satisfying. it did not answer my questions, most of the ones that i asked up above. i had hoped it would all tie together in the end. it did not. if you did some heavy rebuilding of this mission i would be happy to run it again.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
Arc name: Dr. Dave and the Copper Legion, Arc ID:60280
i ran this arc with obvious girl, my level 36 MA/SR scrapper, on rugged.
a couple of observations and comments as i went along...
mission 1
so are you searching ruins in the past or searching cimeroran ruins in the present? why study ruins in the past? it becomes anthropology rather than archeology... ok i understand now that the mission is finished, sort of, but the methods heather employed are a little niave and blundering.
the mission is empty of dialogue, except the rescue
i like the lost text for heather, different from your standard text
mission 2
again, empty of any dialogue
mission 4
maybe let the hostages run away?
i do appreciate the 7 separate hostage texts
mission 5
slight problem in continuity. in sun coyote's description he is a professor of anthropology, which makes more sense, but in the first mission he calls himself an archeologist, which makes less sense.
where did the keystone come from? i did not see the clue drop... from moment? maybe put that in the defeat text...
feedback
ok, this is an excellent story arc. i did not find much that i could say in the negative. you have a tight story, that expands into the COX canon, very well edited, and keeps the story going and elements together. great custom group too, though they did hit pretty hard, especially the LT's. i really enjoyed it all...
couple of things on my mind. namely filling the mission in with details. you have really nice, long clues in the beginning, i found that very helpful. i just dislike quiet missions. while further on it is understandable with the copper legion, they are meant to be silent. but with the COT and the traitors it can never hurt to add some dialogue text to the patrols for example. it does not have to apply to the story. stuff like "isn't this shift almost over?" kind of thing humanizes the story. i am pretty sure you have plenty of room left over since you have moderate number of customs and a handful of NPCs. extraneous detail never hurts either. the use of seven different hostages is exactly the type of thing that i appreciate. the two different patrols in the last mission too. if you could fit something like that in the first two missions that would be great.
but the most outstanding and glaringly unanswered question in my mind is... what is going on between "dr dave" and heather? are they making the angry mythical monster with two backs? come on... i bet if i turned my back they would be all over each other... i am sure they are crossing some student/teacher boundries here... there is a subtext going on here, i know it! enquiring minds want to know! 
otherwise, nice job. i really enjoyed that arc. i am always glad to see someone that ties it all up in such a nice package. after reviewing a fair number of arcs you come to appreciate those those stand above the rest in simple story telling. i like the open ended nature of it all too.
if you would run my hero therapy arc, i just updated and added more content. it would be greatly appreciated.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
[ QUOTE ]
so are you searching ruins in the past or searching cimeroran ruins in the present? why study ruins in the past? it becomes anthropology rather than archeology...
[/ QUOTE ]
It seems no one is exempt from the consequences of time-travel, even the scientists! My original concept of Dr. Diaz et. al. was from an archaeology angle, but you raise a very valid point about anthropology. (And it's definitely past-Cimerora; I sincerely doubt any Traitors still exist in the present. )
[ QUOTE ]
maybe let the hostages run away?
[/ QUOTE ]
Hostages are a stubborn lot. They won't take emotes, they don't flee for safety, they just stand there and look silly. Maybe if I set them to Allies, I'd have better results.
[ QUOTE ]
where did the keystone come from? i did not see the clue drop... from moment? maybe put that in the defeat text...
[/ QUOTE ]
All it needs is one more bit of text. Easily manageable.
[ QUOTE ]
it can never hurt to add some dialogue text to the patrols [...] i am pretty sure you have plenty of room left over since you have moderate number of customs and a handful of NPCs.
[/ QUOTE ]
Lots of people have been saying this recently, that the first missions are eerily quiet. And while I do agree, it looks like I'm going to have to make some sacrifices to remedy this. As it is, I'm running at something like 99.8% capacity. I suppose I don't really need two versions of Civilian Heather....
[ QUOTE ]
what is going on between "dr dave" and heather?
[/ QUOTE ]
It's not my place to say.
Really, though, my intention was for a strict mentor/mentee relationship based on like-minded interests and academic respect. But I suppose there's no harm in letting the audience draw their own conclusions. Anything to improve the experience!
[ QUOTE ]
if you would run my hero therapy arc, i just updated and added more content. it would be greatly appreciated.
[/ QUOTE ]
So noted. I remember running it back before one of your maps was pulled from the system. In any case, I'll make a special note this time to bring something other than my Fire/Fire Blaster, to avoid another shameful defeat.
Thanks again for your comments!
Rise of the Copper Legion (#60280; with soundtrack)
The Fractured Dreamer (#498588; with musical theme)
"Now Leaving: Paragon City": original composition for the end of CoH
all your arcs are belong to me!
give me more arcs! don't make me go trolling for arcs through the various threads! dammit! i want more!
still for quid pro quo of course... but come on! help me out!
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
I am out of arcs, I have polishing to do wiht the new features already but I canna trasnfer from test to live :P
Looks like my old arc threads got deleted?
Anyway, you might enjoy:
Arc Name: Females for Hire
Arc ID: 110723
Faction: Females for Hire, Knives of Artemis
Creator Global/Forum Name: suedenim
Soloable?: Yes
Length: 3 Missions
Difficulty Level: Moderate - no Elite Bosses or AVs
Synopsis:
What you see is what you get... with Females for Hire!
Meet Paragon City's fastest-growing all-girl, all-stereotype mercenary group. Studies have shown that over 95% of all mercenary hiring managers are men... so Females for Hire consciously plays to male stereotypes of "action girl" operatives, while maintaining top-notch professionalism.
You're playing with fire... with Females for Hire! From Independent International Pictures. Rated PG.
Fun new custom group, a bit of mystery, a bit of humor, a bit of romance. Very loosely inspired by this wonderfully cheesy radio ad for a '70s B-Movie.
thank you suedenim, i will get right on it that soon. save a review for later, i have a new arc trickling out. hopefully it will come to fruition sometime soon.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
Hero Therapy – 119228
Played on a level 50 Fire/Fire blaster with set IOs
Set at Difficulty 3
Mission 1 –
The therapist contact tells me I must confront my inner fears, ok cool.
I shut my eyes, and start dreaming. IÂ’m inside the Midnighters cave and am soon confronted with a Clockwork patrol with some amusing dialogue. I see some Vahz and Trolls talking and as soon as I turn a corner I see a troll running for life as he is followed by three Vahzilok, again, amusing dialogue. I find the Therapist and he says I need to confront the memory of The Librarian.
- The countdown during the mission send off is shuffled around, intended or not, it was a nice feature.
- The de-briefing talks about ‘The Steel You Lack’, but not sure what it is supposed to be or why it was there, seems too convenient. Perhaps an inner courage type of thing, or the part of your mind that protects you from being traumatized?
Mission 2 –
Now that I conquered my fear of the Librarian, she is used as an ally, so IÂ’m told. I enter this mission and am standing inside of an abandoned hospital. I see Freakshow and Tsoo fighting, cool.
I notice a glowie, a pile of bones. Clicking it, I see I am reminiscing about something. Also, there is text that asks “Now why did you break this promise?”. I can only conclude I am supposed to know the pile of bones represented some kind of memory that I pushed into the back of my mind, and in clicking it I am revisiting the memory. Or perhaps it stands for a promise I made, but ultimately was not able to keep.
The ambush that spawned from this was wild, it was a storm of death, completely unexpected. And very nicely executed.
I find the therapist and he tells me I need to defeat my ‘Vanity’, or at least get it under control. I rescue ‘the steel you lack’. Move on to face the boss. Not too hard.
I never found, nor really looked for, the Librarian.
Debriefing proves what the bone pile was. This was a pretty eerie mission, especially when I started to find the body bags. This mission was very well executed.
Mission 3 –
Therapist gives a recap for the briefing, after only two missions I didnÂ’t think this was needed. And again, a smaller recap in the form of a sentence or two is in the mission send off text.
I am now sent to face a painful memory and am told ‘The Steel You Lack’ and ‘Vanity’ will be there for allies.
I enter an office building, full of fire, with a bombardment of text and groups of Council, CoT and the custom group all fighting each other, all around the Therapist.
Making my way through the mission I see piles of ash, I sift through them looking for a lost memory. I felt a tinge of sadness over this, not sure why.
I soon come across The Steel You Lack and Vanity, whose animations are quite humorous, it really fits.
Then I meet the EB. A little girl with fire powers. I soon discover she has a fire shield too which means resistance to fire, making my fire powers all but useless against her. The allies and me got the EB down to half health before she killed everyone. When I came back I loaded up on purples and tried to solo her. Her health bar barely moved in 2 mins of attacking. She killed me three times before I gave up. Saying I was frustrated would be too nice.
Since only quitters quit, I logged onto my level 50 Illusion/Kin controller, who I didnÂ’t notice was set at level 5, and tried again blazing through the first two missions and up until the EB on mission 3.
The EB went down much smoother this time. The kinetic debuffs and the Illusion pets helped a lot. IÂ’m still extremely disappointed this mission was impossible with my Fire blaster. Really disappointedÂ…
Mission 4 –
More recaps on what I just played, too much recaps for my tastes. It felt too safe, but hey, the guy is a therapist.
I am sent toÂ…confront my last objective. I am told it will be a tough ride before we start.
I enter a sewer and see a bunch of random stuff: 5th Column, Rikti, Nemesis. A big box of memories, paintings on the stone wall that reminds me of something, a parking meter from my first parking ticket, etc. pretty cool. They all have custom descriptions too, as they should.
I get to the therapist and make my way down the sewers, freeing the allies as I come across them. In the final room is the objective. An AV called ‘The Door’. I can assume what this means.
I would never be able to do this mission with my Blaster. With my controller, however, I was able to keep him locked down and kept him debuffed and allies buffed. The fight lasted maybe 5 minuets and I never was in danger.
The door was defeated, enabling me to walk through it if I desired.
Overall –
I couldnÂ’t decide between 3 and 4 stars. I think I was still aggravated with the dirty little secret EB and not being able to hurt it at all. IÂ’m glad that it happened on that mission, and not the end of mission 5. I would not have replayed it at all if that happened. I was warned, I know, but stillÂ…
The details of the arc were superb. From the maps to the clickables and destroyables, to the dialogue, which was quite humorous at times.
The atmosphere was great.
IÂ’m not sure I can see anything really wrong with the arc other than the fire EB, which would seem to make any offensive fire powerset useless if she is resistant to fire?Â…I rated the arc a 3 but should have rated it 4. I believe we can re-rate after a week, I will attempt to bump the rating then.
I can tell a lot of thought has been put into this and there is a lot of detail.
*Throws a Cheeto down near his sig*
[ QUOTE ]
IÂ’m not sure I can see anything really wrong with the arc other than the fire EB, which would seem to make any offensive fire powerset useless if she is resistant to fire?Â…I rated the arc a 3 but should have rated it 4. I believe we can re-rate after a week, I will attempt to bump the rating then.
I can tell a lot of thought has been put into this and there is a lot of detail.
[/ QUOTE ]
hey thank you for play and reviewing. i will put yours on my list. which is short, but now i have queue again since my internet went out for 2 days. 
yes, you can change the rating in 7 days, i think. or is it 10 days?
this eb is just a problem for blasters in general. i have had numerous complaints. but my best advice to not get in a long distance shooting match with a fire/fire shield eb. you will lose in the long distance part. if you draw her out into the allies they help a lot. i know this because i have tested it with my blasters, down to level 13. do not fight a blaster EB at distance. they will out shoot you... everytime. the resistance to fire is unfortunate, but i cannot change it to something else without causing problems for someone else. or lose the theme... 
she is already set on standard all the way.
it is funny... blasters with her, scrappers with the last AV. if someone complains about a certain boss, i can almost tell what AT for which boss. this is one of those things, you have to adjust your tactics. the allies are extremely useful at that point, regardless of your level.
but anyways... thank you for the feedback. it is always appreciated.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
[ QUOTE ]
this eb is just a problem for blasters in general. i have had numerous complaints. but my best advice to not get in a long distance shooting match with a fire/fire shield eb. you will lose in the long distance part. if you draw her out into the allies they help a lot. i know this because i have tested it with my blasters, down to level 13. do not fight a blaster EB at distance. they will out shoot you... everytime. the resistance to fire is unfortunate, but i cannot change it to something else without causing problems for someone else. or lose the theme... she is already set on standard all the way.
[/ QUOTE ]
Emphasis mine.
When I first tried this with my fire blaster, I was doing no damage at all. The only reason the EB even got to half health is because the allies were in melee range.
My snipe did around 40 damage to her and Blaze did 20 damage. The vet power Sands of Mu actually did more damage than most of my other attacks, which was in the single digits.
I understand about the theme, but the the fire resistance completely negated my entire power set. Plus the two allies could not kill her by themselves. This is my only gripe about this arc, but if this intended, so be it.
Perhaps when I15 rolls around you can tone down her fire resistance (I'm assuming it's the fire shield), if possibe, and give her a dull fiery aura from the costume creater? It looks like crap compared but...just an idea.
I'll definitely bump the rating when I can.
i guess i will have to whip out ridiculous girl from retirement and let her test it... she is a lvl 50 fire/fire. i have been running tests with generally lvl 30ish toons... but i have had several lvl 50 people test her with blasters and have a terrible time.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
I managed to take her down with a lvl 50 Arch/Dev blaster -- it was a bitter struggle. But I definitely found it near-impossible with my own Fire/Fire blaster.
Just one more thing to add to the Could-Be-Fixed-in-i15 list. Seems to be a growing trend these days....
Rise of the Copper Legion (#60280; with soundtrack)
The Fractured Dreamer (#498588; with musical theme)
"Now Leaving: Paragon City": original composition for the end of CoH
well, i talked to the therapist and he saaid he would see what he could do... for now, maybe just a warning to flire blasters.
though he did find it interesting that fire blasters would have such a weakness to their secret shame. he speculated that the maybe it was on a deep, very subconcious, level that their powers manifested as a fire power. he thinks it might be worthy of an article to the paragon city journal of psychology.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
Is it a coincidence that Blue Dragonling (my fire/fire blaster) is my most aggressive character? Perhaps that's all a cover....
Rise of the Copper Legion (#60280; with soundtrack)
The Fractured Dreamer (#498588; with musical theme)
"Now Leaving: Paragon City": original composition for the end of CoH
Kiss Hello Goodbye: (#156389)
i played this arc with the locksmith of love, a level 36 ILL/RAD troller, on heroic.
some typos and observations as i played along.
mission 1
why is the contact name dame best but she introduces herself as dame eden lake?
slick willie's dialogue says "this new drugs going to..." it is an awkward sentence. it at least needs an ' in drug's...
oops, got some level 29 family in a lvl 36 mission. this would be due to a bug and vaying group levels available to villains and heroes.
does this narrator assume you are male? just wondering because the dialogue of gorilla g assumes so...
mission 2
intro dialogue assumes that i faced down gorrila g, was he required the first mission? nope...
why do i have a destructible object instead of a collect object? makes more sense for a search cargo mission...
the kidnapee is set to follow but does not go anywhere, she does not exit the mission when you bring her to the exit.
in the exit brief it says... "I thought you were a professional, Locksmith of Love . " with a couple of extra spaces... probably due to the $name, but...
mission 3
in the away text it says "her down ...I just needed to regroup" the space is in the wrong spot
in old fossil's description is say the "fourties" instead of the "forties." he was also guarded by -2 guards probably due to the mission difficulty ramping up. therefore he is a blue LT. and gorrila g is showing as a white boss with green guards too.
in gorilla g's unaware text believe is spelled wrong
maybe ligeia's description would be better as a clue? her description kind of gives away stuff before you rescue her. why is her last name best, same as the contact's but dame best identifies herself under a different name.
why is ligeia set on follow again, when the mission completes on killing her guards? why does she have lost/found text? old fossil's lost/found text does not make sense if you have already rescued ligeia. his lost text does not make too much sense either...
mission 4
since old fossil is an enemy, or rogue, i cannot tell who is talking to whom because both gorrilla g and OF spawned next to each other and fought me/each other(?)...
why is this mission arc set to nuetral if it assumes i have a heroing license?
mission 5
both the sample and the cure were in the first room, is this intentional?
gorilla g's unaware text says "let's skip to the chase..." shouldn't it be "let's cut to the chase?"
in gorilla g's description kill is spelled wrong
old fossil is there but not sure what he is doing and why he is there since he is not doing anything. where did he come from? i know he was coming, but... also... what was his original name? i am sure he was not always old fossil... his description is the default here.
in the exit brief, should it be "legeia's"?
no arc souvenier? why not the locket?
ok, i liked this arc. i liked that it was done in the detective noirish, first person style, though that maybe off putting for some people. especially since this assumes that the character is a male. the story line is pretty good and the main body text is pretty clean and appears well edited. you do employ some subtle tricks that some people might not like, since some like a neat and clean ending. more on that later. the choice of maps is good and set the atmosphere well. i liked the dialogue too.
there were a few problems too. i had the feeling that this was not a fully finished story. i mentioned all the things that i had found up above. some typos and such. some little things like what is the dame's real name? is she dame best, as in her contact name? dame lake as she calls herself? or dame fatale, as description gives. the last i understand, but the other two are a loose end i feel and could be tightened up.
another small problem is that the brief use of family in the first mission. there are differing levels for when family appear for villains and for heroes. the bugs showed itself to me because i was a level 36 hero and the popped up as grey level 29s. i have had this happen to me in one of my missions. i cannot remember at what level the appear properly for heroes again.
the two rescues were oddly set up. they were set up as a free captive but they behaved like a rescue ally. they were both set on follow and had lost/found texts. but leading them out was not essential to mission. the rescue legeia, she was in the far back and i had cleared everything so she would not have been useul as an ally. i am not sure what was happening here or why they were set this way. what exactly were they?
the last mission is a bit odd, though i do understand it from a story point of view. the two mission requirements were in the front. after completing i went on and found gorrila g and dame fatale. now i understand that gorilla g was always optional, but some text does assume that you defeat him. never had any problems with him though. now with the dame fatale she hints that she has the true drug. while i attacked her, my minions got bogged down in the fight with her minions. i did not notice until too late that she was running away, she barely escaped. i have a feeling that by missing her i missed an essential clue. while i like having open ended stories, failing a possible critical element is a pet peeve. yes i finished the arc, but i feel like i failed overall if she had the hinted original. is it really necessary for her to run away? i like the ability to get deeper into the story, but i hate the part of failing and not being albe to redo.
but anyways... i like this story and i enjoyed it a lot. it needs a little bit of work, but truthfully i do not feel it detracted. nice job.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
Arc I.D.# 131780 - The Day I Tried To Live
i ran this arc with the locksmith of love, a weakened level 36-37 ILL/RAD controller, on rugged for the first three missions and heroic on the last two.
a couple of things and observations...
mission 2
with the statis tube it assumes that i am going to destroy it...
the after interaction text of the computer mainframe is spelled wrong
mission 3
in the still busy text interested is spelled wrong
maybe vary the alteration pods... and their unaware texts?
the clue for the generators came early decribing something that happened later
mission 4
in the radiation hero description throwing is spelled wrong
no EB/AV warning in your arc text, only as you start the last mission
mission 5
no warning for EB
ok, i like this story. it is complicated and rich in content. for all the text there were only a few typos, so it has already been well edited. it is done from and unusual perspective and a different storytelling format, which makes it both interesting and a problem for me.
while the style of writing is very different from all the other arcs i have run, it kind of fell flat with me. it is critical for the story, but i had trouble with the play of it. let me explain... since this is a reliving of things already occured, everything accomplished is predestined. for me it loses something. instead of me living the story, i felt i was going from one story object to the next. it reminded me of those old video games where you could only do one thing to suceed, you had no choice in the matter. while story arcs are generally this in nature, it is usually disguised in the story. i would read the text of a destructible object and it automatically assumes i will be destroying it. even when i am not sure they are required for the completion. i lose all sense of free will in playing this. maybe this is your intent, but it was not enjoyable to play. i know stories follow a particular plot line, generally going from point a to point b, but this arc made me feel like i was watching a movie of an adventure rather than participating in it. truthfully, i did not like it. but that is just me...
the custom group in the 4th mission just felt kind of arbitrary. like they were thrown in as an afterthought. longbow and ppd could have easily replaced them and i think nothing would have been lost. i really, really hate that map too. it has to have a good justification for using it. i hate it because it is huge and has no map available. things, and myself, get easily lost in that map. while i can understand you using it, i wonder if it is entirely necessary. you also do not give warning for an EB/AV until you get to that mission. this is a courtesy thing. i had to lower my difficulty from rugged to heroic to take him down. my troller was weakened because he leveled from 36 to 37, but you cannot upgrade your enc's while in an arc. it is still a problem to encounter EB's and AV's while solo, without adequete warning.
i do not know... i liked the story, just not the way it was done. there is not much i can offer in the way of feedback on how to correct that. the last arc i reviewed i liked the first person perspective, but i think the difference is that the story carried forward. yours was looking back at events that i ultimately have no control over. for me there is a world of difference.
i hope you get something out of this review...
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
now that i go back and look at your arc thread i see an EB/AV warning. but it is not on the mission arc AE board. this should probably be included. also, i had no idea that there was an ally in that mission, nor did i see one. which is a problem since there is no mention of it in the text, nor in the nav bar. how am i supposed to know this?
oh and i basically skipped all fights with the custom group so i cannot give you any feedback with them. i just wanted to get out of that map ASAP.
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
[ QUOTE ]
i would read the text of a destructible object and it automatically assumes i will be destroying it. even when i am not sure they are required for the completion.
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All the text in the arc is spoken from the contact. So the destructible descriptions are of the contact telling you about it. They are not your thoughts. This could be true for the clue that came early too.
And I suppose it's true that you have no freewill in this arc. Your character is simply being told a story that it's not a part of. I saw no other way of doing this arc based on the premise of the plot.
The map on mission four was either the ruined Atlas map or the small Atlas map with the meteor from the shivian mission. I couldn't decide. I wanted to depict the battle at it's end, and the ruined map was the only map good enough. I suppose I can get rid of the custom group, in reality I wanted an empty map with only the EB spawned.
I never thought about a warning for the EB or Ally, I'll try to work one in before the mission send off text.
[ QUOTE ]
while the style of writing is very different from all the other arcs i have run, it kind of fell flat with me. it is critical for the story, but i had trouble with the play of it. let me explain... since this is a reliving of things already occured, everything accomplished is predestined. for me it loses something. instead of me living the story, i felt i was going from one story object to the next
[/ QUOTE ]
This is true, but so is reading a book. I felt the yellowed text from mission one conveyed this message clearly. Perhaps the way the arc description is worded gives off the wrong message?
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yours was looking back at events that i ultimately have no control over
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As I said above, this was intentional.
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i do not know... i liked the story, just not the way it was done
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In the fact that your character, ultimately, isn't the protagonist?
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i had no idea that there was an ally in that mission, nor did i see one. which is a problem since there is no mention of it in the text, nor in the nav bar. how am i supposed to know this?
[/ QUOTE ]
I wasn't sure how to mention it in the mission send off text, and I was hoping the player would find him while looking for the boss.
I'll try to find a way though to mention the ally and the EB's.
Thanks for the feedback and I'm glad you at least tried the arc. I'll fix the typos, take a look at that early clue and try to change up the Rikti pods.
Thank you very much for trying out my arc!
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why is the contact name dame best but she introduces herself as dame eden lake?
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My bad. Eden Lake is her real name; she's just calling herself Best because that's Ligeia's real name.
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oops, got some level 29 family in a lvl 36 mission. this would be due to a bug and vaying group levels available to villains and heroes.
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D'oh! I guess I need to take the Family out, then.
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does this narrator assume you are male? just wondering because the dialogue of gorilla g assumes so...
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It's not the intent to assume the character is male. Although the text should lean that way, it should not state it outright.
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her description kind of gives away stuff before you rescue her.
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That is intended as kind of a non-vital extra clue for those who read descriptions.
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why is this mission arc set to nuetral if it assumes i have a heroing license?
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I should probably change that.
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both the sample and the cure were in the first room, is this intentional?
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It's fine; it's intended that they be in the same room as each other, but which is not intended to be important.
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what was his original name? i am sure he was not always old fossil
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Probably a story for another time
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the two rescues were oddly set up. they were set up as a free captive but they behaved like a rescue ally. they were both set on follow and had lost/found texts. but leading them out was not essential to mission.
[/ QUOTE ]
They were set up as allies. Ligeia is available as extra help in case you are having trouble with Goon (and so you have a chance to see her powers in action), and the other girl just follows you around because he feels safer that way.
[ QUOTE ]
i did not notice until too late that she was running away, she barely escaped. i have a feeling that by missing her i missed an essential clue. while i like having open ended stories, failing a possible critical element is a pet peeve. yes i finished the arc, but i feel like i failed overall if she had the hinted original. is it really necessary for her to run away?
[/ QUOTE ]
This is intentional; it is also considered an 'optional' story element; as close as I could get to a branching path in the story. If you avoid her completely, you can feel that you got the drug and saved the day. But if you choose to encounter her, you find and extra level to the story and have a chance to feel extra smart by thwarting her subtle ploy. Her running away, besides being in-character, is intended to give you a chance to feel extra good by succeeding at a failable goal. Of course, that comes at the price of possibly not stopping her in time.
As you may have noticed, I have a tendedcy to be somewhat experimental with my stories 
Thanks for the help; I will see about hunting down those nasty typos and putting on another coat of polish.
Story Arcs I created:
Every Rose: (#17702) Villainous vs Legacy Chain. Forget Arachnos, join the CoT!
Cosplay Madness!: (#3643) Neutral vs Custom Foes. Heroes at a pop culture convention!
Kiss Hello Goodbye: (#156389) Heroic vs Custom Foes. Film Noir/Hardboiled detective adventure!
"have blap, blap, blappy day" arc #2019
i played this with tired of it ALL, my level 36 AR/DEV blaster, on rugged.
observations and typos as i ran this arc...
mission 1
pretty quiet, no dialogue...
what is that boss? he could see through my stealth from a good ways... and he was extremely tough.
mission 2
the nemesis patrol says "more failed plans then..." it should be than
the snakes are -2-3 to the rest of the mobs, maybe a hero/villain level bug like the carnival and family?
in bright angel's description shouldn't it be "blappy's"? no hostage diologue, other than BA's? in her dialogue is needs to be "it's"
man, your bosses are tough! what are they set on?
mission 3
mission intro... maybe it should read "that police, aided by Tired of it ALL, raided..." just add the comma.
BA's found text says "about time sidekick,"
BA's lost text amatuer is spelled wrong
in SBB's final death text it should say "what's that..."
mission 4
in WNs description it says "hero insurance?". "No I don't..." notice the extra period
in SSs description who is "Bally?" and it says "Who the Monster rEaLy Is!!" do you want "really" spelled wrong?
no EB warning for blappy?
ok i finished your blappy arc. i enjoyed some aspects of the arc. i like the custom toons and the story line. i like the set up with the tv and how it addresses you. that is a difficult contact to pull off and think you do fairly well. the text was fairly well edited, though i found some typos and extraneous details. unfortunately, i also have some serious problems with the story too.
first of all... i know i played this on rugged, and it is more difficult to solo, but your bosses were very very difficult. what are their setting levels? with the first two i died once before getting into a long running slug fest. the next two were not so bad. but then, surprise, there is an elite boss. this is becoming a pet peeve for me. especially in a timed mission where i can possibly fail the whole arc. set on rugged this is a nightmare to deal with especially when i have no warning that i am going to be facing one. i also understand the rationale for a timed mission, but that is a large map and with three bosses, including one elite, this would be a horrible mission for a team. either you need to remove the timer or make it a little longer. i have failed mission arcs with timers and i hate it. i almost let it go just because of the elite boss.
now a lot of your missions were empty of dialogue. if this is a humor based arc more humor can be inserted, with patrols, hostage repartee, boss dialogue. but the first mission, only the final boss says a couple of things. in the next mission you have couple of patrols with dialogue, but another problem appears. the patrol bad guys have no reason to be there other than have one liners, otherwise they make no sense to the greater story. due to your number of custom toons i am willing to be that you have no room left. this leads to another problem. too many toons. while wrong number is amusing, she has no relation to the story whatsoever, it appears to me, other than to add another amusing element. was she really necessary? just getting rid of her, since she is basically good for a few throwaway lines and description, would free up about 7% of memory. with that you could fill out your story an enormous amount.
personally i think this story is filled with a bunch of different jokes, all thrown in to get a humor gumbo. but it does not really gel into a coherent story. you have a solid story in there, but it is kind of lost and muddied. what does junkyard dog have to do with the story line? and wrong number? freaks? snakes? they seem to be thrown in not for story purposes, but one liner joke purposes. these elements subtract from the story more than it adds to the humor. the custom group, the injustice league, does not really fit in anywhere. how do they tie to the story, really? i am not even really sure if bright angel was a free agent, a co-conspirator or what... were they working together or against each other? what was her ultimate role in all of this? was it her revenge or blappy's true nature coming out party? both? neither? i missed something along the way and reviewing all the text does not help me.
i know that this sounds entirely too negative... i do not mean it to be, i hate giving negative reviews. i feel that there is a really good story in there. but it is obscured by a whole bunch of random elements thrown in for humor purposes. unfortunately, it does not work very well for me...
global: ridiculous girl
Hero Therapy! (TM) - 119228
welcome to donut world - 1233
RG,
Thanks much for the review! I want to try to adress a few of your comments.
[ QUOTE ]
"have blap, blap, blappy day" arc #2019
i played this with tired of it ALL, my level 36 AR/DEV blaster, on rugged.
[/ QUOTE ]
I think the difficulty you had through out with the bosses has to do with your choice of character you played. Pretty much any boss will be hard for a Assault rifle/Device blaster.
[ QUOTE ]
mission 1
pretty quiet, no dialogue...
what is that boss? he could see through my stealth from a good ways... and he was extremely tough.
[/ QUOTE ]
See above. He is an assault rifle/iwillpower both on the lowest settings (standard). The first mish is intended as a simple set up.
[ QUOTE ]
mission 2
man, your bosses are tough! what are they set on?
[/ QUOTE ]
Thanks for catching those typos. The boss is set on Hard/Hard.
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ok i finished your blappy arc. i enjoyed some aspects of the arc. i like the custom toons and the story line. i like the set up with the tv and how it addresses you. that is a difficult contact to pull off and think you do fairly well. the text was fairly well edited, though i found some typos and extraneous details. unfortunately, i also have some serious problems with the story too.
first of all... i know i played this on rugged, and it is more difficult to solo, but your bosses were very very difficult. what are their setting levels?
[/ QUOTE ]
SBB is Hard/Hard
WN is Hard/Standard
SSS is Hard/Stardard
The EB is Extreme/Hard
So all the bosses are standard or hard except the only EB which has one extreme setting (that is the final fight of the arc). Again, it has more to do with your choice of toon.
[ QUOTE ]
.... but that is a large map
[/ QUOTE ]
It is a medium map with a grand total of 4 rooms. I have never failed the final mission and can normally complete it in under ten minutes and I have played though that mission on at least a dozen different ATs (I will give you that blaster is probably the hardest).
[ QUOTE ]
now a lot of your missions were empty of dialogue. if this is a humor based arc more humor can be inserted, with patrols, hostage repartee, boss dialogue. but the first mission, only the final boss says a couple of things. in the next mission you have couple of patrols with dialogue, but another problem appears. the patrol bad guys have no reason to be there other than have one liners, otherwise they make no sense to the greater story. due to your number of custom toons i am willing to be that you have no room left.
[/ QUOTE ]
You need to replay this arc with a different toon because every single patrol, captive, boss, etc. has dialog. I can only guess you played this with a cloaking device on which messed up a lot of the unaware dialog so you missed it.
[ QUOTE ]
this leads to another problem. too many toons. while wrong number is amusing, she has no relation to the story whatsoever....
[/ QUOTE ]
She is the leader of the Injustice Legion the group that drives the entire store.
[ QUOTE ]
...but it does not really gel into a coherent story. you have a solid story in there, but it is kind of lost and muddied. what does junkyard dog have to do with the story line? and wrong number? freaks? snakes? they seem to be thrown in not for story purposes, but one liner joke purposes. these elements subtract from the story more than it adds to the humor. the custom group, the injustice league, does not really fit in anywhere. how do they tie to the story, really?
[/ QUOTE ]
WN, JD, SBB and BA all are members of the Injustice Legion the villain group through ot the arc. What may have confused you is that they all need to be in separate villain groups because due to the current limitations (this will be fixable I15). If they are all in the Injustice Legion as they should be they will spawn in other places through out the arc ruining the story. The Freaks, Snakes, etc. appear in the mission that takes place at the villain recruitment hot spot, so they make perfect sense.
[ QUOTE ]
i am not even really sure if bright angel was a free agent, a co-conspirator or what... were they working together or against each other? what was her ultimate role in all of this? was it her revenge or blappy's true nature coming out party? both? neither? i missed something along the way and reviewing all the text does not help me.
[/ QUOTE ]
You are SUPPOSED to have these sort of questions. Who was the real villain? Was BA just a victim of circumstance? Can no one see Blappy's true nature?
WN
Check out one of my most recent arcs:
457506 - A Very Special Episode - An abandoned TV, a missing kid's TV show host and more
416951 - The Ms. Manners Task Force - More wacky villains, Wannabes. things in poor taste
or one of my other arcs including two 2010 Player's Choice Winners and an2009 Official AE Awards Nominee for Best Original Story
Thanks for the review! First of all, let me point out that, as with your arc, size was a seriously limiting issue for me. There are a lot of things I wanted to put in that I ultimately ended up having to cut.
[Disclaimer! The following are explanations and personal rationale, not excuses or justifications; I'll most likely go back and attempt to address some of these.]
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not really a complaint, but why is the clue jar different from all the others?
[/ QUOTE ]
That's basically a throwback to the original incarnation, where I used one or two of each available model of jars. Unfortunately, that meant about four different "collectible goals", so they were one of the first things to go when I needed more space.
[ QUOTE ]
the first is the releasing of the jinn. this is one of those elements that goes against your common sense. i had hoped that i could complete the mission without having to destroy the container. alsa, i could not. mainly because since i have no idea what it contains and i know that when i do it i am literally letting the genie out of the bottle.
[/ QUOTE ]
Well, I'd hoped that the fact that the CoT didn't want him out of the box would give the impression that it would be a good thing from the player's perspective, but point taken. I'll see if I can provide a better rationale. Since he's crucial in the third mission, I can't very well make it an optional goal.
[ QUOTE ]
all the djinn have the same descriptions...
[/ QUOTE ]
This was something of a conscious decision. I stated in the description that Jinn "seem to defy categorization", and giving them individual descriptions seemed to me like an attempt to categorize. I may rethink that later. This is the same reason I didn't give them different names (with the exception of "Jinniyah," which is simply the feminine form).
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the mission in the midnighter's club is interesting, but i really felt there was no real justification for it. i do not recall for any reason for them being there given. it is just a mission... you save percy, you get some information, but the why is never really answered. why are they there? to what end? is there a purpose that i missed?
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The Jinn were working with the Circle of Thorns, which historically have a longstanding animosity with the Midnight Club. Maybe if I can find the space, I'll find some way to make that clearer.
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in the 4th mission is were the field opened up and where i really encountered the jinn out in the open and in numbers. i ran this on tenacious where i would able to see larger groups of bad guys. i quickly found out how hard they were. why are they all LT's? this made it a lot more difficult in the first place. also the combinations of powers were lethal. even with my OWTS running anything more than 4 orange LT enemies i would have to start gobbling inspirations. with 6 enemies it was very hazardous. snowstorm, ice storm, steamy mist, crush, siphon power, etc... was a nightmare. with a large team i could easily see quick team wipes.
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Having minions didn't seem right because, well, Jinn are supposed to be fairly powerful. It just felt like they went down too easily. I also thought it would make for an interesting departure from the standard minion-lieutenant-boss dynamic.
Believe it or not, it used to be a lot tougher than it is now. The Jinn that currently use dual blades used to be Electric Assault/Electric Armor, and on a team of eight would drain the tanker's endurance to nothing in a matter of seconds. It got to the point where I almost wanted to give up on my own mission. Fortunately, I had a very understanding team who knew I was still tweaking things, so I didn't come out with seven 1-star ratings. The Jinni Princes were quite a bit more powerful at one point as well.
I have managed to solo it on several of my characters, including a Blaster and a Controller, but it may have helped that I knew what to expect. I'll continue testing and tweaking.
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the last two comments are interelated. in the outdoor mission you mention that there might be one or two heros around. you do highlight the one, which may be a hint. but due to the difficulty of the bad guys i quickly started searching for the allies. i found one. i cannot remember off hand, but is serfafina available as an ally or is that your attempt to reproduce her? i was not sure because my memory was failing me at that point. she was not that helpful as an ally though, though that may be out of your control. unless she is your creation, then maybe you could up her powers. to make matters worse, that is such a huge map and it is difficult to find any other ally. if they are available that is... is there another ally?
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Serafina's the only ally on the map; again, this was largely a size constraint. Unfortunately, I did have to recreate her, which ate up a good 7% of my available file size, but given the subject matter, I felt it was only appropriate that she get a cameo.
I've been told that she does technically exist in the Legacy Chain group, but since her level range is something like 41-50 and the Legacy Chain is set at 5-30, she doesn't show up in the Architect UI. Really hoping they fix this at some point so I can free up some space (Same goes for Percy Winkley, for that matter. Hopefully they'll open him up in the "Citizens" group or something else in the level 1-54 range).
Originally I did make secondary (Storm Summoning) more powerful, but that proved problematic. She activated Hurricane as soon as the player entered the map, which knocked her captors around and caused her to spout off her entire retinue of lines (including $name and $heshe tags in all their naked glory). I also thought she people might get frustrated with her knocking enemies around willy-nilly. I could raise her primary from Hard to Extreme, which would give her access to Psychic Wail. though I'm not sure how much that would help. I may just upgrade her to an EB.
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why not use the jinn that you save as an ally in the last map? he would have been most helpful going through that map. allies are always optional, but for me it would make sense for him to be there to help, just to repay helping him twice. he could more central a character, but as of now he is peripheral. i wonder why?
[/ QUOTE ]
I think I originally had planned for Dahnash to play a larger role in the story. There is a history between him and Maimuna; they are both actual characters from the Thousand and One Nights (See the story of Qamar al-Zaman if you're interested. I recommend the Mardrus & Mathers translation, but the one by Husain Haddawy is also excellent). I had continued their story somewhat from where the Nights left off, and would definitely have included some of that if I'd had the space.
There were a few other reasons we didn't see more of him, though. First, there's the ever-present problem with file size. Secondly (and maybe I was being overcautious), I was trying to avoid falling into the trap of making one particular character more relevant to the story than the player. I'm a firm believer in the idea that a story arc should essentially be about the player-character, and that all others basically play supporting roles.
I tried to provide a couple of "canonical" reasons for Dahnash not helping out in the final mission in the clue he gives in the third: that he had been severely weakened by a pitched battle with Arachnos, and that he considered his debt repaid when he gave the player his prized dagger so that the Midnighters could forge a new Ring of Solomon (an idea that, as a Jinni who's been cooped up in a box for 600 years because of the original Seal of Solomon, he's not real crazy about to begin with).
Again, thanks for the feedback. The level of difficulty is something I've really been struggling with, and will probably continue to do so for a while (see the comments in my second post in your Hero Therapy thread about the frustrations inherent in striking an appropriate balance on this front).
I still don't think I want to downgrade to minions. I'm looking at my Jinn right now and thinking of whether a few small changes will be enough to make a significant difference. If I still have your attention, let me use you as a sounding board...
Lowering the Broadsword/Storm Summing Jinn's secondary difficulty to Hard would take away Freezing Rain and Tornado, but leave Snow Storm.
Lowering the Jinniyah's primary (Gravity) to Standard would remove Crushing Field and Wormhole.
Between the two of them, that would leave Crush and Snow Storm as the only two slowing effects in play. Based on your experience, do you think that would sufficiently alleviate the frustration and difficulty of the group as a whole? Or are there any other serious hurdles that I'm not seeing?
EDIT: Oh, and since you asked, the fifth map is the Vaults of Mu. Map Type: Unique Maps; Category: Circle of Thorns. I was very happy with how well it worked for the Palace of the Jinn.