I like it 
Hack the Planet...err.. Defend the Planet !
Ooo Special Edition! 
Obviously we need bonus extras. So here is
The Origin of Fruit Salad
It all started in a thread now sadly lost called Answers to R U Hlr. After a round of suggested sarcastic responses and a few Lighten up. Youre a healer, live with it posts the indomitable and much missed TheMightyScourge piped in to say that some people like fruit salad and others dont and that was nothing to get worked up about, and might she add this was in no way to be taken as an analogy. I followed up to say that while this might be true, if someone just walked up to me on the street and said Fruit Salad? it would be a denial of my fundamental nature to not give a sarcastic response. Fruit salad recipes were exchanged, Wiggles songs and Monty Python sketches were linked to, a grand time was had by all.
The idea evolved that if, as many of us claimed, Healer was a term so confused and loaded in this game as to be useless as a descriptor, you might as well call yourself Fruit Salad.
The whole thing really hit the main stream when the poster formerly known as Hobo_Healer was called out by someone on his name after expressing his opinion on the Healer debate. He promptly changed his name to Hobo_Fruitsalad and the rest is history
So what is a Fruit Salad Defender? Fruit Salad is a Dadaist meme. It is a rejection of labels in general and the label Healer in particular. Its a term for a good Defender that we get to define ourselves, with the added bonus that anyone arguing about it sounds instantly silly. Anyone can be a Fruit Salad Defender or Controller, all that is required is that they care about what they are doing and try to do it well. As the Paragon Wiki entry someone (whistles casually) created puts it
[ QUOTE ]
If following true furu-tsusarada-do (The Way of Fruit Salad) a Defender should be good humored, witty, and devastatingly effective. Healing powers are neither forbidden nor required.
[/ QUOTE ]
but really my best effort to capture what it means is the Parable of the Fruit Salad in the In the beginning
thread.
- Jock Tamson, Who didn't start but sure did push it 
We need more for the Manifesto!
Empaths suck.
You got my vote for win!!
"every defender needs to fight. I don't care if you have to use BRAWL!"
Jock, I appreciate your fine addition, it fills my humble thread with prestige and gravitas.
And yes, this post was also just a shameless way to bump the thread... 
It reminds me of comic moments like:
"Everybody hates me because all I can do is turn into a mountain"
"Im no use to my teammates because Im just an acrobatic dwarf"
For anyone that doesn't know...
[ QUOTE ]
Empaths suck.
[/ QUOTE ]
This is what it means when you see /BadStorm
Oh, and looking at your Location BadStorm.... um... are you having a baby, or does that mean something else....
[ QUOTE ]
Oh, and looking at your Location BadStorm.... um... are you having a baby, or does that mean something else....
[/ QUOTE ][pure innocence]
But, legs akimbo just means cross-legged.
[/pure innocence]
[comedy]
Or dual-wielding legs...
[/comedy]
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/36641/My-Little-Exalt
[ QUOTE ]
[pure innocence]
But, legs akimbo just means cross-legged.
[/pure innocence]
[/ QUOTE ]
That's not what I saw when I did a google image search on thighs akimbo
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[pure innocence]
But, legs akimbo just means cross-legged.
[/pure innocence]
[/ QUOTE ]
That's not what I saw when I did a google image search on thighs akimbo
[/ QUOTE ]Whoa BadStorm's avatar is the first result!
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/36641/My-Little-Exalt
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[pure innocence]
But, legs akimbo just means cross-legged.
[/pure innocence]
[/ QUOTE ]
That's not what I saw when I did a google image search on thighs akimbo
[/ QUOTE ]Whoa BadStorm's avatar is the first result!
[/ QUOTE ]
Really? Your computer must be set up weird... this is the first result I got and I don't see BadStorm's avatar anywhere...
I got BadStorm's avatar as the first result as well.
[SIZE=1][COLOR=Yellow][U]Virtue Heroes (Serenity's Children):[/U] [B]@Eek a Mouse, The Devil's Mark, Outlaw Sniper, Gas-Soaked Rag Man, Amazon Prime, Friday's Child, Hot Blooded,[/B][B]Flower of the Moon[/B], [B]Rouge Demon Hunter[/B], Stimulated Emission, Animatronic Wench, [B]Lennie Small[/B]
[U]Virtue Villains (Serenity's Orphans):[/U][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=1][COLOR=Yellow] [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=1][COLOR=Yellow] [B]Eek a Rat[/B], [B]Bomb Blondeshell[/B], Babe Brute, Jeanne Dark, Fallen Angle[/COLOR][/SIZE]
Huh, I just got it too... I wonder if all the people viewing it made it go up in the ratings on Google Image search... intersting... very interesting.... but stupid!
Cool you reposted it!
[ QUOTE ]
Cool you reposted it!
[/ QUOTE ]
It's here for NOW... until it disappears into the void of message board heaven. It's bound to happen sooner or later. 
Speaking of shameless self-promotion... does anyone think this thread deserves a sticky?
My thighs deserve a sticky but that's a whole other story...
[ QUOTE ]
My thighs deserve a sticky but that's a whole other story...
[/ QUOTE ]
Call me up sometime... 1-555-MAN-STUD.
[ QUOTE ]
My thighs deserve a sticky but that's a whole other story...
[/ QUOTE ]
We soo need a jawdrop emoticon
:jawdrop:
will have to do for now
@Catwhoorg "Rule of Three - Finale" Arc# 1984
@Mr Falkland Islands"A Nation Goes Rogue" Arc# 2369 "Toasters and Pop Tarts" Arc#116617
[ QUOTE ]
My thighs deserve a sticky but that's a whole other story...
[/ QUOTE ]
And I thought you were just Empaths Suck, so much more to you . . .
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My thighs deserve a sticky but that's a whole other story...
[/ QUOTE ]
And I thought you were just Empaths Suck, so much more to you . . .
[/ QUOTE ]
I am a complicated tapestry of known emotion and hidden mystery, surrounded in an azure haze of should be's, would be's and broken wishes, lovingly sprinkled with vibrant undercurrents and winsome exuberance, voraciously packaged in a lithe and willowy shell of heated reality.
In other words, an unabashed [Censored].
[ QUOTE ]
In other words, an unabashed [Censored].
[/ QUOTE ]
This sentence right here pretty much guarantees that this thread WON'T get a sticky. Thanks BadStorm!
Am I happy about that? No. Was it worth it? Most definitely YES!
[ QUOTE ]
I am a complicated tapestry of known emotion and hidden mystery, surrounded in an azure haze of should be's, would be's and broken wishes, lovingly sprinkled with vibrant undercurrents and winsome exuberance, voraciously packaged in a lithe and willowy shell of heated reality.
In other words, an unabashed [Censored].
[/ QUOTE ]
My only remaining wish is for you to have my babies.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My thighs deserve a sticky but that's a whole other story...
[/ QUOTE ]
And I thought you were just Empaths Suck, so much more to you . . .
[/ QUOTE ]
I am a complicated tapestry of known emotion and hidden mystery, surrounded in an azure haze of should be's, would be's and broken wishes, lovingly sprinkled with vibrant undercurrents and winsome exuberance, voraciously packaged in a lithe and willowy shell of heated reality.
In other words, an unabashed [Censored].
[/ QUOTE ]
The last line I understand, the rest was Greek. Damn complicated woman.
The Conscience of a Defender v2
by The Philotic Knight - Written on June 23rd, 2007; updated November 27th, 2007
Another one got trolled today, it's all over the papers. "Crimefighter Defeated in Crey Lab Debacle", "Defender Faceplanted after Suicide Debuff Attempt"...
Damn fruitsalads. They're all alike.
But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1980's D&D-brain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the Defender? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
I am a Defender, enter my world...
Mine is a world that begins with Outbreak... I'm smarter than most of the other archetypes, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn gimped n00blet Defender. They're all alike.
I'm in Atlas Park or Galaxy City. I've listened to scrappers try to explain for the fifteenth time how to defend them. I understand it better than they do. "No, Mr. Wulfereen, I didn't heal your HP. I prevented damage with defense buffs..."
Damn blue-shield. Probably spammed the h34lz. They're all alike.
I made a discovery today. I found my secondary blasts. Wait a second, this is cool. I can pwn mobs too! If I take a dirtnap, it's because I screwed it up, I don't have to just be a buffbot for other heroes. If my teammate died, it's not my fault, it's because they didn't look at what my powers DO. Not because I didn't rock the aura...
Or debuff the AV...
Or heal at just the right moment...
Or babysit the blapper that attacked the next mob solo and should have made a DAMN scrapper in the first place...
Damn fruitsalad. All he does is play games. They're all alike.
And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through my endurance bar like heroin through an addict's veins, a website is loaded, a refuge from the day-to-day PuG gripes is sought... an AT message board is found.
"This is it... this is where I belong..."
I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn blue-shield. Taking up all the bandwidth again. They're all alike...
You bet your [censored] we're all alike... we've had to take down gray-con “Skuls” when we wanted to best Lord Nemesis... the bits of mobs that you did let slip through were already half-dead and disoriented. We've been kill-stealed by scrappers, or ignored on the teamseek window. The few that offered to team with us found us willing compatriots, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.
This is our world now... the world of the Gale and the Force Bubble, the beauty of the buff. We make use of powers that would be considered 1337 if they weren't denounced by some WoW rejects with a one-track mind, and you call us gimp. We explore unique power combinations and alternative enhancement slotting... and you call us gimp. We seek after new unconventional playstyles... and you call us gimp. We exist without power prejudice, without mindless hack and slashing, without pre-made "internet" builds... and you call us gimp.
You build farming teams, bridge in Peregrine, cry nerf, post flames, troll us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the gimped ones.
Yes, I am gimped. I'm gimped because I choose to team with you. I'm gimped because I choose to use EVERY power at my disposal to save your squishy butt, not just seek out the most uber leet build for the best XP per minute. My crime is that of being smarter than you, something that you will never forgive me for.
I am a Defender, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.
+++The Philotic Knight+++
---
Post style shamelessly jacked from the much better and more powerful "Hacker's Manifesto", aka "The Conscience of a Hacker" by The Mentor.
By request, here is my George Lucas Special Edition version of The Conscience of a Defender*, tell me what you think...
*Now with 30% more CGI creatures!