FAQ: R U H34lar?


Amarsir

 

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Keeping in mind, of course, that all truly foolhardy behavior is really only amusing to watch when viewing it from a respectful distance.

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Couldn't have said it better myself.


 

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Oh man, how did I miss this guide??

Headed out to make a new Defender named "Screwtape"....


 

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I've recently converted from the unwashed masses to a Kin defender. Do you have any specific advice of what powers I should take or avoid from that set?

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I have heard your cry for help, and I come to your aid. Having reached the lofty heights of level 29.3247291, I give unto you the wisdom of the Kineticist in these few simple Lessons. Take them to heart as the Empaths have taken unto TheMightyScourge's words, and one day you too might reach such a normally unattainable level.

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Lesson One: Know Your Place

This lesson should not be construed as meaning one should have a firm grasp as to the intricate mechanics of the archetypes and their roles in a cohesive team. The mere fact that you are playing a non-empath defender is a clear indicator of your superior knowledge in this regard. It is well known that the other archetypes are for those whose artistry of gameplay resembles taking a freshly-smoked ham and mashing it against the keyboard (Except for Controllers, of course. These chosen few, as stated earlier, should be regarded as the little brother/sister to the Defenders and should be protected as such. Be the Wally to their Beav, as it were).

But I digress.

For the Kinetic Defender, Knowing Your Place is having a firm grasp of how far one should be from an enemy for each given power, which targets to select for said powers and their effective AoE ranges. This is the Lesson one must take to heart, as it most impacts the other Lessons. This can best be explained by some individual examples of the Kinetic powers.

Transfusion: Your one and only actual healing power, so use it wisely. Lesson Two ties closest to this power, as well as to the point made for empaths: Staying alive is priority number one. If an enemy actually deigns to hit you for any amount of damage, locate the cur and immediately run in to steal it back. Some of your teammates might get caught in the "backwash", but this can't be helped. Again, it's not your fault the others can't look after their own health. If they don't have sense enough to run when they need to, they get what they deserve. And nothing is more frustrating that attempting to heal yourself, only to have one of your thick-headed goons defeat the mob just before the power goes off, wasting it. Be sure to lecture sternly afterward about how your heal actually works, since no one understands Kinetics.

Siphon Power: This is, first and foremost, a personal buff--or as close to one as makes no odds. When encountering any given group of mobs, the tankers will immediately flip their "ME SMASHORZ" switch like a good little meat shield and charge into the fray. The scrappers will closely follow, bellowing about how the enemy will taste righteous fur--OW I GOT A BOO-BOO. The blasters, of course, will chime in with "We're right behind you! WAAAAY behind you!" and pick away at the enemy from a distance like the cowards they are. So where does this leave you (and your wayward Controllers)? Firmly in the middle, using your stolen strength to bring the enemy down when everything invariably falls apart around you. Remember, it's never your fault that your teammates can't be bothered to stand still long enough to benefit from your abilities.

Siphon Speed: The one and only exception to the first part of Lesson Two, and an essential ingredient to Lesson Four.

Speed Boost: An extremely situational power: Your hapless Controller has finally gotten it right and "mezzed" a good portion of the enemy group. Blasters take this as an immediate cue to unleash every AoE attack in their arsenal. The mobs (naturally) all wake up and the meat shields (naturally) get in over their heads. Hit your 'troller with SB and tell 'em to get while the gettin's good. With the previous power going, you'll be ahead of them, anyway. Saying as how this situation is quite common, you'll probably be finding yourself using it for this extremely often.
But be wary of using this power even then. As soon as anyone else in the team realizes someone has the "Instant ADD" blue swirlies, the rest of your time in the group will be an endless deluge of "GIMME DA CRACK!!1!11!". State calmly but firmly that you are not a pusher. If video games have taught us anything, it's that Winners Don't Use Drugs.

Transference: See Lesson Five. Slight bending of Lesson Two is allowed, just don't get carried away.

There are more powers, of course, and all of them near useless. Repel? Fine, you listen to the fighters whine about knockback. Increase Density? Who wants to be slowed down? Inertial Reduction? What, the meat shields are going to jump the baddies to death? Fulcrum Shift? Regardless of your team's efficiency, fights don't last long enough for it to be even remotely useful.

Lesson Two: Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em

Hold this as true for every power you will select as a Kinetic Defender: Recharge reducers are a waste of precious influence and slots. The devs--and especially Statesman--have spent a great deal of time confirming that every power is at its optimum performance speed "out of the box". If the power hasn't cycled back up yet, you obviously don't need it yet, do you? When the power is ready to use, the right time to use it is now. Remember this Lesson well. When in unity with Lesson One, it will serve you for all of your days.


Lesson Three: The Right Tools for the Right Job

The Power Pools. They're there for everyone, so everyone should dip into them, right?

Wrong.

The Power Pools have very limited use for a Kinetic Defender and should be only taken sparingly, as they take away from the available powers for your primary and secondaries. You're going to need all the main powers you can to save yourself when those other louts can't do their jobs right.

If you really must take some, follow these guidelines:

Concealment: Completely unnecessary. None of Kinetic powers affect you and you alone, and the buffs last just as long as it takes for your teammates to bullheadedly rush into combat.
Fighting: Take only after level 28, and only if you have nothing better to waste the power on. Marginally useful for Lesson Five.
Fitness: Unneeded; See Lesson Five.
Flight: Don't make me laugh. A flying Defender? Good day, sir.
Leadership: These Clowns of the Keyboard won't stay in range for your primary buffs, what makes you think they'll stay in range for any of these?
Leaping: I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!
Medicine: Not nearly as important as it is for Empaths, but not to be completely disregarded. Some of those lunks you're with might actually catch on to Transfusion and start demanding it more often. This is when you state the importance of conserving endurance and conveniently "forget" to use it.
Presence: You're a Defender, not a meat shield. Don't draw attention to yourself. The farther away the mobs are, the better.
Speed: The one and only truly useful Power Pool for a Kinetic Defender, absolutely crucial for Lesson Four. I would advise against Haste, per Lesson Two, and opt for Flurry to help with Lesson Five.
Teleportation: You need your endurance for keeping yourself at 100% at all times. Besides, it's just a flashy power set for egotistical juveniles.

Lesson Four: Discretion is the Better Part of Discretion

Let's face it; you know how a Kinetic Defender works. You know how a team should work. And you know how a team should work to best benefit you. Scrappers take a modicum of intelligence to play effectively (Whether or not they do is another matter entirely) and might have an elementary grasp on the second point. For Blasters and Tankers, the answer is "none of the above".

It happens in every team: Despite your best efforts, there are times you just can't keep the black bits off of your lovely green and blue bars. The others are taking a pounding, and it's only a matter of time before their incompetence starts coming up as skulls and the mobs start taking away your pretty colors. Only one thing to do: Pop that yellow pill, siphon the speed from the weakest mob you can target and Super Speed the F*** out of Dodge.

Oh sure, everyone will grumble about debt when they get back from the hospital, but this is when you demonstrate your leadership skills and urge them to press on. If you level up that much sooner than they do, you'll be even more powerful to help keep yourself alive for everyone's benefit.

As a precaution, always keep exactly one Awaken (or better) on your person. Sometime all the speed in the world doesn't stop the bullets from finding your precious hide.

Lesson Five: You Are a Solo God

And never let anyone tell you differently. Once Transfusion, Transference, Siphon Power, Siphon Speed and Super Speed are under your belt, you'll be running circles around the enemy and single-handedly crushing the mobs while the rest of the group is cowering in a corner resting or begging for an Awaken. Go ahead and display that 'Pwnz' badge, you stud(ette), because you do.

If by some stupid reason the others of the group are still complaining that you weren't throwing any of those delicious buffs for the rest of the team, politely remind them that they were looking for a "H34LER" in the first place, not a buff/debuff deity such as yourself. If they kick you from the team at this point, it's just a sign of how screwed up the team was to begin with. You don't need them, anyway. There are plenty more clueless sods begging for h34lers where they came from.

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Thus concludes my Lessons for reaching your peak potential as a Kinetic Defender. Meditate upon these words, children, and apply them wisely. There is no limit to your growth*.





* - (Actual growth limited to level 50. Your mileage may vary. Apply liberally to sore spots. Side effects may include Stunning, Sleeping, Placation, Immobilization, Holding and Erectile Dysfunction (ED). Any damage voids warranty.)


"But we are like children, thinking our toys will make us happy and the whole world is our nursery. Something must drive us out of that nursery and into the lives of others, and that something is suffering." �C.S. Lewis

 

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Following this guide may cause you to amaze your teammates with your tactical prowess, therefore you may wish to put them on your ignore list so their endless praises don't bog down your chat screen.


 

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Them3, you forgot the extreme utility of slotting Speed Boost for Run Speed. With 3 SOs of that, no player in their right mind would ask twice for the fabled SB Crack.


 

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I found the original guide ironically funny, and sadly I've played with people who must have not gotten that it was a joke. I realy enjoyed the part of about endurace, Never Heal unless your blue line is full no need to take a chance. Just my opinion though.


Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Abraham Lincoln

 

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Them3, you forgot the extreme utility of slotting Speed Boost for Run Speed. With 3 SOs of that, no player in their right mind would ask twice for the fabled SB Crack.

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It's not so much that I forgot. The nature of effective slotting is in and of itself a tricky beast to master, especially now with the Erectile Dysfunction dillema. Such a topic is more deserving of its own FAQ, as it is one that should be gone into at depth. Perhaps one day the right (wo)man for that job will come along.

Now, to get the topic back on track here: UR HOTT! R U H34LAR? I <3 U LOLZ


"But we are like children, thinking our toys will make us happy and the whole world is our nursery. Something must drive us out of that nursery and into the lives of others, and that something is suffering." �C.S. Lewis

 

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As a rad/rad, I laughed hardest at this:

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Finally other powers, such as fallout, fallout, or fallout leverage a dead teammate as a weapon, and can be far more effective than allowing that teammate to live. In fact, most teammembers will see that they are worth more dead than alive, and request that you stop healing them; alleviating your burden and increasing the team's defender and controller survivability overall.

Also, make sure your team turns off 'prompt to team teleport' as this will allow you to move the bomb at will.

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It makes me want to start using my teammates as teleporting bombs for my own gain.


 

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Necro. Again.


Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.) - Whitman

Consistency is the defense of a small mind. - Beldin

 

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Finally other powers, such as fallout, fallout, or fallout leverage a dead teammate as a weapon, and can be far more effective than allowing that teammate to live. In fact, most teammembers will see that they are worth more dead than alive, and request that you stop healing them; alleviating your burden and increasing the team's defender and controller survivability overall.
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Actually I was thinking of doing this with my Grav/Rad 'Troller. esp when I'm waiting for Mutation to recharge.


 

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thermal corr. check the avatar


 

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Keeping in mind, of course, that all truly foolhardy behavior is really only amusing to watch when viewing it from a respectful distance.

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THIS made me laugh, sorta the COx version of "hey ya'll, watch this" " yeah ok Leroy, I'll just stand over here".


To the OP.
Great posting, very wry, British style humor.


The Avalanche has already started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote.

Blue Spot, Son Spot, Cyan Siren, Polar Gale, Scarlett Fury, Stygian Warlock, Lady Lilac, Elsbeth (villian), Furious Squirrel (villian)

Infinity server

 

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I played with someone who must have REALLY taken this post to heart! I was playing my dark / dark defender Skroo Bahl, and this guy was playing an empath with far greater healing ability than ol' Skrooie........the guy died, went to hosp before I could rez him, came back and started screaming at me about healing him.......I was like, dude, you've got like 1,000 heals to my piddly little ONE heal, get over yourself......what the frack was he thinking???


"The cure for cowardice is not more whimpering and cringing, but to bare your teeth." Fr. Pontefescue

"The earth is not dying, it is being killed, and those who are killing it have names and addresses." ~ Utah Phillips

Remember Greg McKendry

 

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Nice post Them30OtherGuys, it's hard to follow up someone else's idea and keep the tone. My favorite part:

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Recharge reducers are a waste of precious influence and slots. The devs--and especially Statesman--have spent a great deal of time confirming that every power is at its optimum performance speed "out of the box". If the power hasn't cycled back up yet, you obviously don't need it yet, do you? When the power is ready to use, the right time to use it is now.

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Flannel Jesus has been doing it all wrong thank you thank you thank you. My life will be so much better, now all I need is heal self.I thank you agian and all my dfenders thank you.


 

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hahahahaha!


 

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... Wow. Impressive necropost, Ryu.

And yea, TMS has a knack for this stuff.


Rule number six of an empathy defender is NEVER underestimate a blaster's ability to die. I don't care if he has CM, Fort, both RAs, bubbles (both FF and Sonic), and is fighting next to a Storm defender with hurricane on. If there is a way to die in that situation, the blaster will find it.