Letter to Statesman Clause (he replied via email)


2wierd

 

Posted

Letter to Statesman Clause

Dear Statesman Clause,

I have been good and killed many bad men all year long. I think I have killed thousands of crazy bad boys and girls. My mentor Parker Hale says I am Statesman's little helper. We pretend Rikti are Grinches as we hunt them down and destroy them, they hurt Christmas. Parker says we will get a turkey dinner for every 10,000 monkeys we kill. I promise if you give me toys I will continue to kill all the little bad boys and girls in Paragon City for you. I have only been in this world for 9 months, but my mentor Parker Hale who is 10 months old is helping me write my letter. This is my first Christmas and I know it will be special. Parker has teached me the names of all eight of your reindeers; Gilgamesh, CuppaJoe, Positron, Valdermic, Aura, Bridger, Case, Gaffer and Vyvyanne and I will leave them coffee and biscotti on the sidewalk by the tunnel where I live in Founders Falls. Parker told me if I write you, you will give me presents, so here is my list:

Little Anna's Christmas List
1) Snow
2) A badge that says "Statesman's Little Helper"
3) A Santa Hat
4) A pet Jack Frost to help me fight evil
5) Abominable Snowman to kill.

Thank You Statesman Clause,
Little Anna


 

Posted

OMG I almost spit my coffee out. Bravo


 

Posted

Good stuff


 

Posted

Two words. he he.


 

Posted

Maybe for Christmas we'll get lots and lots of goodies!

The baddies will be sent to prison!


Leader of The LEGION/Fallen LEGION on the Liberty server!
SSBB FC: 2062-8881-3944
MKW FC: 4167-4891-5991

 

Posted

I want my Jack Frost to be yellow so nobody eats him.


 

Posted

Now I'm gonna have that Frank Zappa song running through my head all day.

Not that that's a bad thing, mind you...


 

Posted

If you've been killing them, you've been a baaaaad boy! We're supposed to capture them and send them to jail.


 

Posted

Yep, I kill the bad children. Stand outside the prison in Brickstown, you have murderers in a minimum security prision, the arrests are in vain. The system in failing Paragon. Crime is rampid, Statesman Clause had a very short list of who has been good, and a really long list of who has been bad (it weighs a ton). If we make the bad list shorter Positron and the rest of the reindeers can pull more toys.

Santa says kill and I for one want toys... do you? Luckily this post is a direct representation of Statesman Clauses good list. You won't see any bad children here.


 

Posted

Little Anna's Christmas List
1) Snow
2) A badge that says "Statesman's Little Helper"
3) A Santa Hat
4) A pet Jack Frost to help me fight evil
5) Abominable Snowman to kill.

Let's only hope that there will be some Abominable snowmen to kill come December 24th!!


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Two words. he he.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually, isn't it Ho and Ho?? hehe...

Anyway, wouldn't it be fun to start knocking on fireplaces and beat down badass santa's or the grinch?


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

2) A badge that says "Statesman's Little Helper"



[/ QUOTE ]

Screw that, I wanna be a Dentist!

[/ QUOTE ]

ROFLMAO!!!! That made me pee!


 

Posted

I swear this email was recieved by me.



From: Statesman

O.K. - I'll grant at least one of your requests.


I swear this is true. I frigging love this game and these devs!!!!

Thanks Statesman, that is one reason why I will never leave this game.


 

Posted

Probably the last one....which to me would be fine


Leader of The LEGION/Fallen LEGION on the Liberty server!
SSBB FC: 2062-8881-3944
MKW FC: 4167-4891-5991

 

Posted

I'm hoping for Snow. (they have said they're tweaking the zone graphics)

Although 4/5 would be the easiest.


 

Posted

Probably the abominable snow man.


 

Posted

I want a frostfire mission like area where we can all play, mabe the dance party? Plus snowballs they already have the animation for them (ice blasters)


 

Posted

Gotta love weird developers


 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
I swear this email was recieved by me.



From: Statesman

O.K. - I'll grant at least one of your requests.


I swear this is true. I frigging love this game and these devs!!!!

Thanks Statesman, that is one reason why I will never leave this game.

[/ QUOTE ]

You know... this is not April so no April fools day jokes....

Did he really really say that??? MAN I just gotta know for for sure... Any of it would be cool!!!!

Great, Thanks, Good Job..etc... NOW I will be sitting on Pins and Needles till we hear more about this.... (this is just like when the older brothers and sisters (11 of us total and I am the baby) would say "We know what you got.... EVERY Christamas....) I think you should be moved to the naughty list now... For teasing the rest of us!!!

Is it really real???? Twinkles of hope glimmering in BIG wondering eyes


 

Posted

It's most likely going to be snow or abominable snowmen.

Either would be mega-badass though!


 

Posted

I know it's not gonna happen...but to have it snow (and change the landscape ala snow drifts, frosted trees, snowmen, icecicles (sp), etc) would just be...can't even think of a word sentimental enough.

To be doing my thing across the rooftops of Atlas Park and then look up to suddnely see the begining of a gentle snowfall would be magical. I know I'd smile.


 

Posted

Screw the snow, the hat and the Abominable Snowman.

Know what I want? An Abdominal Snowman! I want my snowman to be RIPPED! I want the bad guys to look at him, and KNOW they are about to be beat down by the Abdominal Snowman! His Belly o' Doom shall rule them.


"I see your words..." ~The most menacing thing a forumite could say

 

Posted

[ QUOTE ]
Screw the snow, the hat and the Abominable Snowman.

Know what I want? An Abdominal Snowman! I want my snowman to be RIPPED! I want the bad guys to look at him, and KNOW they are about to be beat down by the Abdominal Snowman! His Belly o' Doom shall rule them.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah! And he should have a deep Austrian accent!

"I vill crush you wis my rock hard ABS! Then I vill balance the snow budget... FOR I AM THE ABDOMINATOR!!!!!"


 

Posted

Personaly, i'd rather have a santa hat. Much morefestive. Or snow. Both.