Steelclaw

The Developers have left it to me to announce and explain the newest Annual happening here in City of Heroes. The brand new Thanksgiving Day Event!

(This event will only be taking place on the U.S. Servers. Not only because our Thanksgiving Day takes place at this time of year, but also because we Americans tend only to be thankful if someone tells us to.)

The Event will start this Monday, November 23rd at 9:00 AM EST (to heck with you non-east coasters) and will end at midnight on Sunday, November 29th.

The event will include:

* The Thanksgiving Dinner Task Force: Your mother, despite earnest attempts to convince her otherwise, has decided to invite everyone in your family, everyone in the neighborhood and most of the known free world over to the house for Thanksgiving Dinner. Since she has such a super-powered kid she's depending on YOU to go get all the fixin's. Of course, she announced her intentions the DAY BEFORE Thanksgiving, so supplies are low. Fight other desperate, last minute shoppers for cranberry sauce, stuffing, table centerpiece and, of course, the Holy-Grail... The Turkey. The number of reward merits you get is based on how many ingredients you get as well as the poundage of the turkey. Completion of the TF will also award the I'm Thankful It's Over badge and the Pilgrim costume set.

* Black Friday Invasion: This invasion is tied directly in to the Zone's Wentworths/Black Market. Every 200th item bought at these places will result in a run on the zone by crazed shoppers. The shoppers will appear and begin grabbing everything they possibly can. As they attack the heroes/villains the shoppers will scream things like "My Timmy would LOVE that helmet!" or "I saw that Cape first!" or "Get your own danged thermo-nuclear power gauntlet!" Defeating specific numbers of Minion, Lt, Boss and Elite Boss enemies will award their respective badges: Mall Mauler, Thrift Shop Shark, Specialty Store Stampeder and Retail Rioter.

* Now THAT'S a Big Turkey: Any time the Dinner TF is completed it will spawn a Giant Monster somewhere in a random zone. The GM is a giant Turkey who is very much aware that everyone is gunning for it. Rather than willingly give in to filling the bellies of half the city, the Turkey will run from any hero or villain it sees. The moment it spots one the zone will fill with the chase music from the Benny Hill show and the Turkey will take off at a sprint. The team(s) must spread out to chase the Turkey into a corner somehow. Once it is cornered it will turn to fight. The Turkey has basic peck and talon-claw attacks but its most devastating assault by far is the Giblet Vengeance. It will summon 2 to 3 Giblet minions per character attacking it. Giblet Minions attack by squishily entangling and holding, doing minor damage over time and leaving "gravy" stains on costumes. Defeating the mammoth Turkey will give 2 reward merits, 5 antacids and the Them's Good Eatin' badge.

We hope you all enjoy the event! And wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

Since your efforts will require teaming; you will need to make yourself useful to teams despite your lack of power variety. Corruptor is definitely the way to go.

Rad is good and Pain Domination would work for teams who only expect you to rock the aura anyway.

If it were me, however, I would go with Sonic/Dark Miasma. Dark Miasma gives you good variety with Twilight Grasp as a group heal, with Tar Patch and Darkest Night as potent AoE debuffs. Your Sonic attacks will add an additional damage resistance debuff to stack with your Tar Patch. All-in-all not bad team support for a character with few options.

I have characters from just about every alignment:

Lawful Good: Crusader's Honor, Jonathan Fury, Passive Aggression

Nuetral Good: Ranger Lord, D'Shan Steelclaw, Urban Tactics

Chaotic Good: Arken Shatterfist, StrongGuard, Phantasmal Fantasy

Lawful Neutral: Evolution Upgrade, Blood and Honor

Neutral: Ensorcelled Stone, Assisted Afterlife

Chaotic Neutral: Surgeon's Canvas, Arctic Armageddon

Lawful Evil: Speak Softly, Shadow's Secret, Guile Gravenheart

Neutral Evil: Blood Priestess, Revenant Remains, Draconic Rage

Chaotic Evil: Sid and the Deep Six, Adrenal Addiction, PsyChaotic

As for myself, I am Chaotic Good... Despite massively held public opinion that I am really Chaotic Neutral.

Seeing as how they’re already playing Christmas music at my local mall, I figured it wasn’t too early for this.

Steelclaw Studios is proud to present the City of Heroes version of that Holiday Classic: Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.


It was Christmas Eve, that most marvelous of times, when it seems as though you can actually see the magic in the air.

The offices of NCSoft NorCal were decorated liberally with evidence of the season. Most of the employees having hung garland, blinking lights and more Santas than the North Pole could conceivably fit within and without their cubicles. From one of the small desks came the merry tunes of the 12 Days of Christmas. Several of the workers in the coding department were singing along with it; though making up their own words which had little to do with typical Christmas gift choices.

Matt Miller stood at the door of his office, glowering out at this scene. While normally possessed of an abundance of Christmas cheer, this year found poor Matt feeling decidedly Bah-Humbug about the whole situation. He scowled as a rousing cry of “Five Server PINGS!” came from the coders.

“Hold on,” Matt said looking around with a frown. “Who the heck is talking?”

Pardon? Do you mean me?

“If you’re the one who’s been blabbering on about Christmas and what a bad mood I’m in, then yes…” Matt braced his fists on his hips and squinted his eyes suspiciously. “Floyd, is that you screwing with the intercom system again?”

No, I’m the narrator. We’re doing a City of Christmas Carol. Didn’t you get the memo?

“Oh for the love of…” Matt reached up to begin massaging his temples with trembling fingertips. He paused and then blinked. “Wait a sec… A Christmas Carol? What part am I playing?”

Scrooge.

“Starring role, huh?” He tapped his chin as he considered the possibilities. “Visited by three ghosts, be a ******* at the beginning and everyone’s buddy at the end, hmm? I can handle that. But, ummm… Well, I actually sort of like Christmas and all that. What’s my motivation?”

Read the script. I put it on your desk.

While searching for the script somewhere in the reams of paper and accumulated debris on his desk, Matt also came across the original memo, two pay stubs and a ham sandwich from two weeks ago. He perused it, nodding here and there. He blinked and looked up while holding the script forth as though offering it as evidence.

“It’s not finished,” he said suspiciously.

Yeah, there are some… err… scenes I’d prefer to leave a mystery. You can just improvise those ones. So long as you try to stay in character.

Matt shrugged. “It’s your show. Okay, according to this I have to go see the Bob Cratchit character now… who is played by…” Flipping some pages. “Heh. Well, this should be interesting.”

As Matt walked through the cubicle farm he noticed that most of the employees were leaving for the day. They called out Merry Christmas to one another as they went. The women looked serene and happy. The men all looked harried and terrified; as most had left their Christmas shopping until that evening.

Matt walked to the entrance of one cubicle and quickly reviewed the crumpled script before cramming it into his back pocket.

“Chris…”

“No,” Chris Bruce said, not even bothering to look up from his computer screen.

“Umm, no what?” Matt said, pretty sure this wasn’t in the script.

“No, I’m not playing Bob Cratchit,” Chris said, tapping a finger on the piece of paper next to him. “Unlike you, I read my memos.”

Suffering a sudden change of heart and finding himself willing to go along with things in the holiday spirit, Chris read the lines from the script.

“No, Chris doesn’t ‘read the lines from the script’,” Chris said, finally looking up in the general direction of the Narrator’s voice. “You’re a narrator, not Obi Wan Kenobi, so stop trying to use the Jedi Mind Trick on me.”

Well, there’s no need to be insulting. Why won’t you play Cratchit’s part?

Chris glared. “Because I know who would end up playing the part of Tiny Tim,” he growled. “You’re not going to turn my kid into a hobbling, gonna-die-without-Scrooge’s-help sob-story. There is no way I am going to accept a role that turns my son into a cripple, not even for fun.”

I wasn’t going to turn him into any such thing. He’s not going to be dying or anything… he’ll just have a… er… minor affliction.

“How minor?”

Ummm… Diabetes?

“No.”

Hare Lip?

“No.”

Chronic halitosis?

“Not if I have to talk to him during a scene.”

Periodontal gum disease?

“You’re going to try to tug our heart strings by giving Tiny Tim a case of gingivitis?” Chris rolled his eyes. “Nope. I refuse to play Cratchit if my kid has anything wrong with him at ALL.”

Okay, okay… hold on a second.

Chris and Matt remained silent as they heard the sounds of spectral scratching, as though a pen were scribbling over paper. After several minutes of uncomfortable shifting, there was a soft pop and a script fell from nowhere to land on Chris’s desk.

There, how does this sound?

Chris, suspicion tracing every line of his face, picked up the script and read. He laughed and nodded. “Okay, that I can live with.”

Good, then can we get on with this? The average forum reader’s attention span is pretty limited and this has gone on for too long already.

“Sure,” Chris stretched slowly then cleared his throat, settling himself into character. “Oh, boy! Christmas Eve! I do so look forward to spending the whole day tomorrow with my family. Especially my dear son, Tiny Brawler…”

Hold on… Tiny Brawler? You’re adlibbing, which wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t such a horrible actor.

“Aw, you’re just trying to get me back for the Jedi comment,” Chris grinned. “Besides, what do want me to call him? I refuse to call him Back Alley Baby; there are WAY too many bad connotations to that little title. I bet you couldn’t list all the horrible interpretations to that one.”

I bet I could.

Matt rolled his eyes and held up a hand to halt the discussion. “Weren’t you just complaining about this taking too long?”

Fine, fine. We’ll call him Tiny Brawler. Get on with it.

Matt shook his head, wondering how in the heck he’d ended up involved in this debacle before switching back into Scrooge mode. “What do you mean, take tomorrow off? Chris, you KNOW we need to get Going Rogue back on schedule! Then there’s the next issue and further power customization. You are my go-to guy in the animation department. With everything we have on our plates there’s no WAY you can afford to take time off right now! You are going to be in that cubicle tomorrow if I have to chain you there!”

“But Matt, it’s Christmas…” Chris began.

“Oh, please,” Matt snarled. “Are you going to give me some line about the sanctity of the holidays or play on my heart strings about some ridiculous holiday spirit sentiment I should be feeling?”

“Nope,” Chris grinned. “I was just going to point out that Federal law requires all businesses to give paid holidays to full time or salaried employees is all. You can make me stay here if you really want to and I’m sure the Better Business Bureau and State Employee Rights Committee will be very interested in our little story here.”

Matt sputtered for several minutes before leveling a glare at Chris. “Very well. It seems the government is on the side of the lazy and malcontent. I shouldn’t be surprised I suppose, given how close any senator or congressman comes to a 40 hour work week. Be off with you then! But come December 26th I expect you to be here extra early! Say midnight!”

Chris grinned. “The 26th is a Saturday Matt.”

“GET OUT!!”

After taking several minutes to relax and unclenching the need to launch one of his Nikes into the general vicinity of Chris’s Levis, Matt decided to pack up his own supplies and head back to his house. He wasn’t sure why someone who was so work-obsessed would leave the office on time, but it was in the script so he decided to go with it.

On his way out he was stopped in the hall by the concept artist David Nakayama.

“Hey, Matt,” David said, doing an admirable job of sounding natural in his assigned role. “Are you coming over to my house for dinner tomorrow night?”

“Bah-humbug!” Matt said with relish. “I will not give in to your silly Christmas tra…” He blinked. “Hey, wait a second here.”

Now what? Come on, we were on a roll.

Matt pointed towards David. “He’s playing the role of Scrooge’s nephew?”

Yeah….. and….?

“You saw the names Miller and Nakayama and immediately thought ‘oh hey! These two should play members of the same family’?”

David laughed.

What followed were several minutes of language unsuited to a holiday special.

FINE! Okay, since we’re falling so far behind on the schedule because my ACTORS want to act cute, we’re going to have to fast forward. Time for a little Narrator magic.

Scrooge refuses nephew’s offer, tells David he was adopted. He marches from the office leaving the hurt artist to cry in his coffee. Back at his house…

“Hey, wait one danged minute here!” An indignant sounding female voice comes from off stage. Melissa Bianco marches into view with her hands braced on her hips. Her eyes are flashing dangerously. Following her with a wide grin on his face is Sean Fish.

Oh for the love of… what now?!

“What about our parts, huh?” Melissa said. “We’re supposed to ask Matt if he wants to donate to the United Way charity. But you skipped right over that to send him home!”

There were sounds reminiscent of someone chewing on their own tongue.

Okay, Great! Ask!

“Dear Mister Miller…” Melissa began dramatically, hands clasped over her heart and eyes shining with holiday fervor.

No. Don’t embellish. Just…. ASK.

She scowled up at the ceiling then spat out from between gritted teeth. “Want to donate to United Way?”

ANSWER.

“Nope,” Matt said.

Great! Excellent! Fantastic! A freaking star is born. Next scene!

It is evening time, the sun has settled below the horizon leaving Matt sitting in front of a lap top computer in his study. He is frowning at a time table of what the team needs to accomplish and how long they have to do so. His hair is standing up straight from his head from the number of times he’s raked his fingers through it in frustration.

“Maybe if we use Ouroboros to make each day have 30 hours instead of 24…” he mused then sat bolt upright as all the power went out in the house, leaving him in inky blackness. “Oh for the love of Pete! I didn’t save the danged spreadsheet!”

“Miiiiiiiilleeerrrrrr…” came a spectral voice from beyond the door, accompanied by the sounds of clanking chains and dragging footsteps. “Miiiiiiillleeeeeerrrrrr….”

“Huh?” Matt blinked as a greenish glowing light seeped through the crack beneath the closed door. As he stared a foot slid through that barrier as though it didn’t exist, followed by the remainder of the body.

The man was surrounded by a green mist that boiled and oozed in rivulets down to the floor, spreading out in questing fingers. Chains and padlocks were draped about his shoulders and arms with blue-white courses of electrical current flowing over their links here and there. The man stopped in the middle of the room, standing just before Matt. He spread his arms out to the sides and a cyclone of wind whipped through the room as he slowly began to rise, hovering two feet above the floor. His eyes blazed forth in brilliant blue light as he cried out in a voice from beyond the grave.

“MIIIIIILLLLEEEEERRRRRRR…..”

Matt leaned back in the chair. “Hey, Floyd. What’s up?”

Floyd Grub looked down in consternation at Matt’s blasé attitude, then shrugged and settled back to earth. “Not much.” He plucked at the chains wrapped around his body. “I managed to escape my cubicle despite you chaining me in there.”

“Hey, it worked on Pohsyb,” Matt said. “So what’s with all the glowing green mist, electricity and floating? The Narrator front-load the special effects budget or something?”

“Nah,” Floyd said. “That was all me… after all… I AM the Powers Guy.”

From off stage comes a rimshot.

“Cute,” Matt said with a grimace. “You have any more jokes or did you want to stick to the script? The boss-man is a little on the testy side.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Floyd said and changed his voice to deeper, more resonant tones. “Matt Miller, you shall this night be visited by three spirits. They shall appear each in their own time, each with their own ghostly purpose.”

“Anything else?”

“Nope, that’s it,” Floyd shrugged. “I guess I’ll be going home then. Any chance you have a spare pair of bolt cutters laying around?” He hefted one of the chains. “These things are heavy.”

Later that evening Matt has gone to bed, wearing his PJs which are black covered with yellow Bat Signals and various BAM! WHACK! and OOF! blurbs from the 70’s show. On his bedside table the clock radio switches from 11:59 to 12:00.

Someone began to knock on his bedroom door.

Matt blinked and climbed from bed. He walked over to the door and opened it tentatively then stumbled back several steps, looking towards the opening with horror in his eyes. His breath heaving as though against a scream lodged in his throat.

“Oh, for goodness sakes stop being so dramatic,” Jack Emmert said as he walked into the room, glancing around curiously. “I’m the Ghost of Issues Past or something like that. I didn’t really bother to do more than skim the script. And I thought some of YOUR writers were bad.”

HEY!

“Long time, no see Jack,” Matt said, regaining his composure. “I see you’re still ignoring the restraining order.”

“That was on the office, not on your house,” Jack waved the distinction aside. He grinned evilly. “Nice pajamas.”

“The Garfield ones were in the wash,” Matt said and sat on the bed. “So you’re the Ghost of Issues past, huh? What sort of message are you here to deliver? That Enhancement Diversification saved the game?”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Jack rolled his eyes. “Of course it did, but that’s beside the point. What I’m here to point out to you is that you care too much about the expectations of the players. Seriously… who cares what they think? Ignore their whining. They’re sheep. Issues can be late and they’ll still pay to play. Powers can be nerfed and they’ll still pay to play. Heck, you can even charge them for costume pieces so they can play paper dolls more effectively with the costume creator and they’ll STILL pay to play!”

“Are you sure you didn’t mug the REAL Ghost of Issues Past and take his place, Jack?” Matt said in a dry voice. “Not exactly a real Christmas-y message, you know?”

“Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas,” Jack said holding both hands up defensively. “But that’s got nothing to do with you being so obsessed with not meeting the standards and time line of a bunch of ungrateful whiners. No matter what you do, there will be some unhappy players. Forget them. It’s not their game anyway…”

“I know, I know… it isn’t their game it’s OUR game… but still…”

“It isn’t ‘our’ game either, Matt,” Jack scoffed.

“It isn’t?” Matt blinked. “Well then… who…?”

“It’s MY game, of course,” Jack said, buffing his nails against his shirt. “Just because I went off to a new project doesn’t mean the old one isn’t still completely mine. You DID know I’d gone to a new project, right?”

“Yeah, I may have heard something about that,” Matt said casually.

“Speaking of which,” Jack said, climbing to his feet and walking to the door. “I have to get to a meeting. Nice talking to you again, Matt. Just remember… they’re sheep… only good for sweaters and the occasional mutton sandwich. Later!”

Matt stared at the closed door for several minutes before slowly shaking his head in disbelief.

“Why do I feel this sudden urge to shower?” he muttered when another knock came from the door. “I thought spirits were supposed to be able to walk through walls,” he grumbled as he walked to open it once more.

Melissa Bianco was standing there with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

“Melissa? What are you doing here? I told you I didn’t want to donate to…” Matt began.

“No, I’m not that Melissa any more,” she said. “I did a little ‘negotiating’ with the narrator. Now I’m the Ghost of Scheduled Goals.”

Matt winced. “Negotiated, huh? Did you hurt him very badly?”

Melissa smiled pleasantly. “He’ll walk with a limp and his shirts will fit funny for a few weeks, but nothing permanent.”

Matt took a prudent step back. “Okay… So what’s the message YOU have to deliver?”

“I just wanted to remind you that schedules are flexible,” she said, leaning a shoulder against the wall. “We don’t give the players specific dates for a very good reason, Matt. If problems occur we want to give ourselves as much wiggle room as possible. You’re worrying and chaining the employees to their desks isn’t necessary. If we fall behind schedule, well, we’re the only ones who’ll know!”

Matt leveled her with an even gaze. “Uh-huh. Except for the department heads.”

“The what?” Melissa stared blankly.

“You think I bought that barbed whip to use on the coding team because I was worried about the PLAYERS’ reaction to us running late?” He laughed. “Not a chance. I know they have no idea of the goal dates. On the other hand, the individuals who write my performance reviews and authorize my salary increases are VERY aware of our schedule and its tardiness. Any lovely little sugar-words you’d like to say to THAT, oh Spirit of Scheduled Goals?”

Melissa stared at him with her mouth agape.

“Oh, while you’re considering that… these people I speak of also authorize YOUR pay raises too.” Matt mentioned off-handedly.

Her mouth closed with a snap.

“I’m going back to work,” she said with an edge of anxiety. “I have some stories for Going Rogue that need a little fine tuning.”

Matt fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “This has to be the worst excuse for a Christmas Special I’ve ever seen,” he muttered. “And if that’s not bad enough; playing this part is actually MAKING me paranoid about getting Going Rogue out the door on time.”

“Pardon me,” came a diffident voice. “The door was open so I let myself in.”

Matt sat up quickly, not sure what to expect. In other versions of the Dickens’ classic the final Spirit of Christmas Future was always the most horrifying of specters. He clutched at the bed spread so hard his knuckles cracked, ready to shriek or run should the vision be too horrible to face.

He blinked.

Standing by the door was a tall man with wavy hair, an athlete’s physique and a smile better suited to a Colgate model. He was wearing a pair of chinos and a pink polo shirt.

“Hello, I’m Phil,” said the man.

“Of course you are,” said Matt.

“I’m the Ghost of the Marketing Department,” Phil said.

“Spirit, I fear you more than any other apparition I have yet seen,” Matt whispered in horror, cringing back.

“Very funny,” Phil said dryly. “Now, if you’re done making jokes…”

“Who said I was joking?”

“…there is some business we need to attend to,” Phil said as though he’d never been interrupted. “The Marketing Department had a meeting and we’ve been discussing other ways we can better compete with the newcomers to the super hero MMO market. I have a list here of new features we want implemented in Going Rogue and the next Issues. Now, before you start, I don’t want to hear any whining about ‘game engines’ or ‘re-write the entire code’ excuses that you computer nerds always throw at us. We’ve determined that City of Heroes needs these features in order to remain competitive.”

He held out what looked like an entire ream of paper, each sheet completely filled with black lettering in what appeared to be the smallest possible font size.

“Spirit! Please tell me the visions you have shown me can somehow be reversed! Please, Spirit! Why show me these dread prophecies if I can not change the course of these events?!”

“Because I’m a sadist and it’s fun,” Phil said with a grin then shoved the pile of paperwork into Matt’s unwilling hands. “Now get to work!”

Phil shoved Matt who fell back onto his bed. The formerly solid surface of the mattress however, had become immaterial and Matt fell through it and down what appeared to be an endless pit. The papers flew from his hands to flutter and circle around him in a dizzying whirlwind. The walls of the hole through which he plummeted were gnarled and twisted with what appeared to be the roots of trees. As he stared the roots took on the form of semi-human faces which began to call out to him as he passed.

“Coooostume Pieeeeces… Give us Coooooostume Pieeeeces…” howled DumpleBerry.

“Customizable in-game videooooooo… with enhanced camera featuuuuuures…” moaned Dark Respite.

“My hair… make my hair moooooove…” cried Golden Girl.

“Merge the serrrrrversss...” came the voice of RedManFx.

“Ignore RedmanFx…. Ignoooooore hiiiiim….” Screamed Lemur Lad.

“Behemoths,” whispered Perfect Pain. “Lots and lots of Behemoths.”

“Pants, remove all pants from the costume creatoooooor….” Wailed Mr No Pants.

“COOOOOOKIEEEEES” sobbed Uli.

“Bigger and Better Vet Rewaaaaards…” gibbered Nuclear Toast.

“A Statue in tribute to me on Peregrine Islaaaaaaand…” Westley said.

“EEAAARGGH!” The last was too much for Matt and he woke with a strangled cry to find himself still in bed. He wrestled with the covers and rolled over to stare at the clock radio which informed him it as six in the morning.

He grabbed his Blackberry from the table and stared at it. The digital display read “December 25th.”

“I didn’t miss it!” he cried out joyously. “I didn’t miss it after all! Oh thank you spirits! It’s Christmas day!”

He jumped from bed and grabbed a piece of paper from his desk. With trembling fingers he gripped a pen and wrote a hasty message upon it. Stumbling across the room he yanked open the door and taped the note to its surface before slamming the door behind him, then running to leap back into bed.

The final scene is of a slow zoom to the note, which reads:

Every server is actually a "team" in my tournament so all the characters on each server are "related" to each other at least in-as-far as they have a common goal/base.

Champion: These are characters inspired or directly taken from the book I wrote. My main D'Shan Steelclaw is one of them. Several love interest relationships. D'Shan Steelclaw/Blackswirl Le Fay and Lore-Master/Mistress Monolith among them.

Freedom: Villains bonding together to further their aims of vengeance. Business arrangement, no emotional entanglements. I dump most of my criminally insane in this one.

Guardian: Blue Collar heroes and young up-and-comers is the theme for this team. The adults are all hard working heroes who ignore the glitz and glam of the super-heroing scene. The younger heroes are all stars-in-their-eyes kids who need the steadying hand of the adults to keep balanced.

Infinity: Black magic reigns in this team. Blood Priestess is the leader. Guile Gravenheart is her paramour and adviser. Shackled Eternity is a demon slave given over to Priestess by the dark gods she worships. And Ensorcelled Stone is basically just a stone golem with no mind of its own who also does Blood's bidding.

Justice: The Bellagothian pantheon. Bellagothians were a people I created in my book and these characters are worshippers of their gods or avatars of the gods themselves. As some of the dieties are opposed, this team has its share of internal combustion.

Liberty: Villains who just want to do what they want, when they want. They don't want to rule the world, don't want to get back at a culture that wronged them. They just want to be left alone by cops, heroes and anyone else who tells them they "can't" do something. Very much a survival of the fittest, might-makes-right team.

Protector: Ultimate Tech. A group of scientists and technologists working together. Think the Stark family reunion. Core Combustion and Pyro Tech NC are a married couple. Dynamic Feedback is in love with Flexible Physics but doesn't have the guts to tell him... yet. Emcee Boombox has a major crush on Chylde Prodigy but she's on a different server entirely and we all know long-distance relationships are hard to maintain.

Triumph: Japanese Yakuza crime family. Leader is Shadow's Secret who is in love with her protege (also female) Poisoned Lotus. Shadow's sister is Chemical Ambition who is in love with her chemically-induced slave Current-Event. Blood and Honor is the ghost of a family ancestor who is being forced to serve the new crime-oriented direction.

Victory: There was a group of characters I used to run back when I still played Dungeons and Dragons. These are the updated, super-hero versions of those characters. Ranger Lord and FletchingSong are married. Crusader's Honor and Ebon Horizon are in love.

Virtue: The leader is WhisperStealth who is the arch-nemesis of my main D'Shan Steelclaw. He has chosen an elite force of villains for the sole purpose of destroying D'Shan and his allies. So basically, every character here is the nemesis of one of my characters on the Champion server. Since there is no cross-server PvP and since you can't have two characters from the same account on at once anyway.... this looks to be a very long and drawn out war.

Yes, I know I didn't list Pinnacle. My tournament requires an equal number of hero and villain teams. So Pinnacle got left out in the cold.

My booster pack wants:

* New Monstrous Heads: different wolf and lizard takes, an insect head, a "slime" head that looks like melting wax, a cardboard box with a face drawn in crayon upon it, a Hilary Clinton mask

* New "Set" Costume Pieces: British Punk Rocker set, Cowboy set (chaps, leather vest, Stetson, holster belt), 60's Love-In Hippie Set (bell bottoms and tie dye), and the Emperor's New Clothes set.... ::whistles innocently::

* New Prestige Travel Powers: Hoverboard/skateboard/jet skates (requires Superspeed), flying surfboard/perma-jetpack/mini-jet (requires fly), spring boots/mini-catapult/swift-kick-in-the-can (requires super jump), hitchhiker's thumb/"beam-me-up-Scotty"/rip in reality's fabric (requires teleport), Free Lifetime Paragon City Bus Pass (requires psychiatric evaluation)

* New Dance Emotes: The Swim, The Alligator, The Macarena, Country Line Dancing and Mosh Pit Dancing... actually that last one could also be a new melee set for Scrappers and Brutes.

* New Costume Change Emote: The "Oops Wrong Closet" emote... basically you go to change outfits but get the wrong one.. in action the character gives a thumbs up then vanishes in a cloud of smoke... the system does a costume creator Randomize and the character appears wearing it.. they scream in humiliation then vanish again to reappear in the correct outfit

I have over 60 heroes and villains now... the only origin stories I would consider "disturbed" are these...

Tell me which one YOU think is the most disturbed:

Assisted Afterlife

Emilio Sandiego was only 8 years old when his grandfather asked him to kill him. The old man was in the final, agonizing stages of a terminal illness. He was bedridden and reliant upon life support to keep him breathing. He had begged his son to pull the plug but Emilio's father had refused and argued with the doctors to try stronger pain medication. When his grandfather asked him to set him free, Emilio listened, hearing the beloved old man's desperation and desire to be released from the pain of life. Emilio agreed then watched in fascination as the doctors and nurses scurried like ants to reverse what he had done. But all in vain; death had been triumphant and his grandfather's expression was one of peace. From that moment on Emilio found his life's work; to free as many as he could from the pain of life... to assist them as he had his grandfather.

Surgeon’s Canvas

Had she once had a name? She assumed she had, though she could no longer remember it. That had been before the doctor. That had been before her... changes. She did not know if her skin had always been so albino pale and surely she had not always had so many teeth or such a long jaw. Her blood was yellow and that couldn't be right. Then there was the matter of her lower body; where her thick white skin only appeared in patches showing the dark red meat of the muscle beneath to be seen. As though she weren't quite... finished yet. She didn't look like the other humans she saw, though she was assured she had been born one. But the doctor told her she was beautiful; that she was his living work of art.

Psychaotic

Angela Manderlake was born gifted with powerful psychic abilities. In most cases this would have resulted in her family sending her to a special school to learn to control them, but they were devoutly religious and believed ardently that gifts from the Most Holy should not be touched by man. So she grew up knowing the worst of human thought. She watched her own family, heard their mouths denounce others as being unholy and impure, condemning them for their sin. She knew their thoughts and the hypocrisy of their ridicule of others. She felt little but disdain for most members of her family except for her mother, whom she loved beyond all else. But even her beloved mother was subject to this disease of contradiction. So, Angela decided to "fix" her. She forced her mother's thoughts onto the paths of righteousness turning her inadvertantly into a lobotomized zombie. That had been when Angela was eight years old. Things have not improved since that time.

Arctic Armageddon

Danielle Williams' mutant powers first manifested themselves at birth; or during birth to be more accurate. As her mother's contractions hit they immediately numbed then frost began to gather upon the curved peak of her stomach. Her mother's death profoundly affected Dani's father, who never forgave his daughter for the death of his wife. She would never know which father he would be next; cruel and abusive, cold and distant or those rare occasions when he would shower her with affection. One time he went too far and Dani ended up in the hospital at the age of fifteen. Two days after her return home they found her father dead in their apartment. His eyes had been frozen solid and the words "Snow Blind" carved into his forehead.

Although the new costume change emotes are okay... Until they have the costume change sequence of one of the greatest of Kung Phoo masters they will always fall short.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CW54W9y6-eU

I agree with everything else mentioned the only thing I would add is under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should this be tied to character actions to make it a zone event through out the year!!

The Zombie Apocalypse and Rikti Invasions have been cheapened somewhat (more so the ZA) by allowing them to happen whenever you turn around. What makes the Winter Event special is that you can ONLY do most of its activities during the Event itself.

Please, please, PLEASE don't make the Deadly Apocalypse a triggered event. Keep it Halloween ONLY!

Oh my... a new Booster Pack is introduced and people are complaining about the price/value... what a... (Yawn)... surprise.

Love my new booster... the only complaint I have is that the Ninja Run does not work with Super Speed... which would have been supremely awesome.

Oh, and one thing NOT pictured in the video for the Ninja Run on the web site. If you have it active and do a standing straight up or backwards jump there is a different animation than the forward jump.

Round 2...

The Fleeing Flea

Captain Capitulation

Sergeant Surrender

To The Rear Admiral

Dr Mel Practice

The Runnin' Ronin

The Yellow Streak

The Mysterious Naked Truth

The Comfort Zone Invader

Doctor Yule Filapinch

Mr Hanky

Mister Sister

Acne Acres

Bi-Polar Gal

Pure Menacing Sadism (PMS)

Bat Pole Dancer

Disease of the Month Girl!

Fiber Man

Willie Maykit

Captain Corpse

Rigor Mortimer

Steaming PileDriver

Le Hero (think Le Car)

The 4 Cylinder Dynamo

Mime Rhyme

Buckwheat's Hair

Captain Bean Burrito

The 8-Bit Wonder

Captain Happy Hour

The Ballistic Hangover

Narcalepsy Man

The Turets Kid

Masochism Man (He doesn't put up much of a fight, just begs for more)

Hmmm... okay... I can give it a go...

Captain Grammar

Smell My Finger Man

PULL My Finger Man

The Nag

Doctor Whoops

The Blind Surgeon

Hickman's Proctologist

Mister Pants (arch nemesis of you-know-who)

Trouser Monkey

Master Hu Flung Pu

Mah Authoritah (then you can respec him... and yell "I have Respec'd Mah Athoritah!")

Near Sighted Cannibal Man

Near Sighted Gynocologist

Doctor Where's My Watch?

The Radioactive Snuggler

Major B.O.

General Disorder

The Amazing Phail

Willy the One Eyed Wonder Worm!

Holey Moley Rolley Polley

The Incredible Ick

Captain Splut

Major Leakage

The Halitosis Hugger

Humpy the Wonder Dog

Captain Squat

The Heroic Hershey Squirt

The Leper Con

The Wondrous Wheeze

Doctor Scab

Doctor Poke and Prod

Captain Hugo First

The Solitarian Party has prepared a special reply to this well thought-out challenge...

Ahem...

Ghost TOWN?! Dang it, I can't even go into the game without some fool askin' me to team with 'em. My symbol says "Not Looking", my character name is "I H8 Everyone" and my search message is "I'll RSVP now: NO!!" and they STILL send me invites.

So's I go an' set my team response to "Accept no invites", right?! You'd figure that'd stop 'em... Aw, hell no! Danged ingrates are sending me tells sayin' "Hey, how come you got your Invite turned off? How'm I s'posed tah team with you?"

Where in the heck are you whiners FINDING these servers? Is there a way I can rent-a-server for private parties like that? And then you got the gall to COMPLAIN about it?! Holy hand grenades, I'd give anything to find a server where there weren't no other people!

Dear lord, sometimes I think MMORPG stands for "Malignant Mental Orangutans Resembling People Gathering"!!

So please! Please, tell me where these empty servers are! I'll give you all my slots on the servers I'm with now! You can deal with these intrusive putzes and I'll somehow cope with blissful, lovely loneliness.



This has been a message from the Solitarian Party. The views expressed here may not represent those of Steelclaw Studios, its parent company or subsidiaries.

One thing? ONE thing?!

This thread is nothing but a thinly-veiled prejudicial attack against List Makers!!

Ahem... anyway...

The one thing... only one Steelclaw... remember... only one... that I would ask for is a Super Group structure that allows both villains and heroes to be members and use the same base/storage/prestige.

Erk.... hmph.... Two... no... No Lists!!

We hates the Perfect_Painses.... we hates it forever!

So... After Going Rogue... if your villain decides to become a hero... goes through the entire process and everything...

Will they be able to use Ouroboros to travel back in time to when they were still a villain?









Thank you.

Amanda Vines: This is Amanda Vines reporting from the mysterious realm known as Praetoria, the alternate earth realm that is rumored to be the source of much mischief for future villains and heroes. As my fellow reporters from other stations have revealled, there seem to be two major factions dictating the politics of this realm; the Loyalists and the Resistance. I, after much diligent digging, have unearthed yet another faction. The elderly man I am standing next to is a member of this faction. Hello, sir. May I have your name?

Steelclaw's Stooge: No you CAN'T have my name! How the hell did you get in my house?!

AV: It wasn't easy, I can tell you. Why do you have such strong security, sir? Is it because you fear the forces of Tyrant?

SS: No, it's to keep nosey idiots like YOU out! I KNEW I shoulda got a dog... preferably a rabid one!

AV: I heard through the rumor mill that your political party is known as the Solitarians. Do you call yourselves that because you believe you are Solitary in your stand against the other two parties?

SS: No, you half-wit, we call ourselves that because we want to be LEFT ALONE! Is that a camera? That little red light on the front better mean the self-destruct has been activated. If it doesn't then I can rectify that little oversight!

AV: Umm... you may want to step back a little bit Bruno... give the gentleman his ... er... space. In any case, how is the Solitarian party gathering followers? Are you trying to establish a strong voting block?

SS: Voting block? Who the hell gets to vote around here? Listen you ditzy dame, the Solitarians don't stand for freedom. We don't campaign for the right to vote, the right to wear white after labor day or the right to fill our underwear with lime jello. The Solitarians keep to themselves and expect everyone else to DO THE SAME DANGED THING!

AV: Oh, I see. Well, at the very least you have to have formed an opinion about Lord Tyrant.

SS: Oh, I've formed an opinion about Tyrant all right.... would you like to hear it?

AV: (Leaning in excitedly) Oh, Absolutely!

SS: I like Tyrant just fine... for one reason and one reason only... because so far... at least up to this moment... Tyrant ain't come up and knocked on my door or invaded my privacy even ONCE! Now get your mini-skirt wearin' butt off my property before I activate my security system's disintegrator ray!

AV: EEP! Oh dear! This is Amanda Vines of WSPDR reporting the newest faction on Praetoria! Stop pushing me you dreadful old man! Bruno, make sure you get his BAD side! Amanda Vines signing off!

SS: I'll sign you off you little bi.....

Transmission Terminated

Possible bathroom "realities" in Ouroboros:

* The entire zone of Ouroboros is in a time stasis; that is while there you don't grow older, your cells don't degenerate and your kidneys go on "pause." That's the good news; the bad news is that if you enter Ouroboros with a "cross your ankles, hopping up and down need to use the potty" you're out of luck and will retain that exact feeling the entire time you're there. Now, at last, we understand Mender Tesseract's bad attitude.

* Remember all those beautiful islands with their wonderful waterfalls that descend into the mists below? Ouroboros Sewage Treatment Facilities.

* To improve the ascetic beauty of the place the bathrooms have all been located out to the islands. If you don't have flight you'd better slot enhancements into Stamina's yellow colored line.

* The lack of bathrooms was not noticed until AFTER Ouroboros was built. The janitorial staff there are the highest paid people on the payroll.

* The Ouroboros Portal itself takes care of that for you. When traveling through it it acts as a natural cleanser, removing all toxic or foreign contaminants. The argument for this is that it helps prevent viruses or diseases from one time infecting the inhabitants of another who have no defenses against it. The Portal also collects thought wave patterns, DNA samples, blood samples and a sliver of everyone's left big toe nail, but Mender Silos doesn't want to discuss the reasons for that.

* Then combine this with another fact: We don't know for sure what Kheldians in squid-form eat. There are NO Kheldian-Cuisine restaurants anywhere in Paragon or the Rogue isles. Perhaps Twilight's Son views all the visiting heroes and villains as a Bladder-Bowel Buffet?

Funeral... Short Eulogy by comrades in arms... then heavy drinking at after-party.

What? Tyrant is Irish.

The Nemesis Method of Panda Creation:

1) Using various plots and subterfuges gather parts and components for the Power Assimilation Transfer Thermal Yugoslavian Compressor And Kinetic Energizer.

2) Assemble the P.A.T.T.Y.C.A.K.E.

3) Infiltrate the Ouroboros Time Mender organization; possibly scramble letters of name to provide good alias.

4) After learning the ins and outs of Time Travel, journey back to the day Adam and Eve were cast out of Eden.

5) While the Almighty is distracted with lecturing the world's first juvenile delinquents, slide the PATTYCAKE beneath his feet and activate.

6) Absorb some of his phenomenal cosmic power! Note that battery space in the PATTYCAKE is limited; so a complete absorption is impossible. Remember... Phenomenal Cosmic Power > Itty Bitty Storage Space.

7) Travel back to present time.

8) Using the near omnipotent power of the Almighty... create panda.

How many times do I have to say it?

City of Heroes is SERIOUS BUSINESS people! You are a hero saving people's LIVES. Or you are a villain trying to spread destruction and evil.

There is nothing to make fun of here. There is nothing amusing about this game.

Now, either take your responsibilities seriously or turn in your cape.

It's that simple.

List of brand-new things not already in the game that would make me happy to see:

* Random Missions given by walking Civilians or street thugs you just beat up.

* The Save the Kitten from a Tree 25 mission Task Force

* The Put the Kitten in the Tree 23 mission Strike Force (would have made this 25 missions as well but, let's face it, devs hate villains)

* Star Trek style Portal Corps destinations: City of Cowboys, City of 20's Gangsters, City of WoW, City of Scantily Clad Yet Unemotional Vulcan Females

* Mini-Games, Mini-Games, Mini-Games: Pocket DDR (not what it sounds like, get your mind out of the gutter!), Whack-A-Troll, 3-Nemesis Monty, etc

* Steel Canyon's Save the Civillians from the Burning Building Game! Let us go in there and rescue people! Talk about your timed mission.

* Let us spray paint graffiti. At character creation you can make your own Tag so everyone knows that this train or wall belongs to YOU. What the heck? The Hellions seem to enjoy it.

* The Skulls/Hellions girlfriend Dating Simulator. Tempt the girls back to the "good side." This game is won by running all over Paragon City getting items to buy the girl gifts and woo her. Stuffing one's spandex is NOT allowed.

* We need targetable Civillians! But just certain ones; IRS Auditors, Door-to-Door Salesmen, Telemarketers, the City of Heroes Marketing Department, that sort of thing. You know, the ones the law wouldn't fault us for blasting.

We here at the Steelclaw Institute have done exhaustive studies upon this recently released statistical information and have come up with the following results provided here in the handy-dandy Steelclaw Patented List Format:

1) DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

2) Aforementioned doom is over-rated and the result of various glitches in the system, please disregard.

3) Glitches in the system have been /bug reported.

4) Response to bug report was an all out offensive using the new Bug Swatter power set; the battle was short and oh-so-sweet.

5) The battle was too short and too sweet; the Bug Swatter power set has been nerfed.

6) Forum outrage over the the nerfing of the Bug Swatter power set has reached critical levels.

7) We're pretty sure one of those downward sloping lines on the graph are a direct result of the Forum outrage over the nerf. Even if it isn't that's what we're going to blame because we're relatively certain that down means "bad".

8) The Steelclaw Marketing department declared war on the Steelclaw Research department for leaking information about ANY downward line on an economic graph regardless of whose graph or whose economics it was.

9) There was no ninth item, however Steelclaw list guidelines prefer to be at least 10 items long so this one was thrown in as filler.

10) The introduction and subsequent revelation of "filler items" in a Steelclaw list immediately invalidated all results and suppositions previously stated. This list has been declared null and void.

We shall be by shortly to erase your memory.

Thank you for choosing the Steelclaw Institute for all your statistical interpretation needs.