Steelclaw

With the newest community event on the horizon... here are some ways we can keep Galaxy City clean..

* Make sure not too many players go there... oh... wait...

* Duct tape Steelclaw's mouth before letting him off the train.

* Give Synapse an apron and a feather duster.

* All spandex costumes will now be switched out for costumes made entirely of Swiffer pads.

* All Technology based heroes now must pass minimum Emissions testing... think about it.

* Gravity Controllers and Dominators MUST pick up after themselves after using Propel.

* Radiation Emission characters must wear lead lined suits at all times.

* Use of the Steampunk Clunker aura will result in a minimum 50 influence per stain fine.

* Sister Psyche, Swan, Miss Liberty and Mirror Spirit to hold a "Wash Your Power Armor Inside and Out" charity event for technology heroes. (this sort of makes up for the Emissions Testing)

* Become a sponsor in our new Lysol Spray a Vahzilok drive!

* Zig prisoners will soon be involved in a community service program to keep Paragon's statues clean. The kick-off for this project will be the "Help Shave Galaxy Girl's Legs" event to remove bird droppings and other built up refuse.

* Psychic heroes are invited to "reprogram" a clockwork into picking up trash rather than scavenging metal.

* For two weeks after the start of the event, technology heroes failing their Emissions Testing will be given coupons to get 40% off fixing the problem by the inclusion/insertion of our Ultra-Green Emissions Mufflers.

* Original List Item Deleted: This event was removed from the list as it was realized that the Kraken resides primarily in Perez Park. Besides, many KGCC council members believed the "Give the Kraken a Sponge Bath" concept was flawed to begin with.

Total aside... not sure where this one came from but it amused me when I thought of it..

Boy: Father O'Reilly... I have a question...

Father O'Reilly: What is it, my son?

Boy: Is it true that if I even THINK about lying... it's still a sin?

O'Reilly: Yes, my son... the holy church teaches that the thought is as strong as the deed... if you think of comitting a sin.. you have, in fact, already sinned...

Boy: So... if I think about sinning... then actually go through with it... I've really sinned twice...

O'Reilly: I'm afraid so, my child...

Boy: Hmmm... a sin within a sin... Sinception.

O'Reilly: (after a long pause) Yer goin' to a fiery place fer that one boy-o.

Oddments that just sort of drift past my consciousness as I sit here.

Grab bag... you get what you pay for...

* Say, all you PPD guys... standing around Atlas Park during my Mayhem mission... thanks for not heading right for the bank being robbed or anything...

* PPD: Itteh Bitteh Protect Da Citeh Committeh

* Manticore & Sister Psyche: Secret to a happy marriage? 24/7 in different city zones.

* The Zig: Nation's most successful Open Door Policy.

* Nemesis: They see me plottin'... they hatin'...

* (same song... picture a blinged out Red Cap singing the song) Red Cap: You say you wonder... what's under.... my red cap well my afro it's so big and curly... look at me I'm short and surly... can't believe I'm short and surly...

* We would like to take this moment to give thanks to the tireless, anonymous NPC heroes who were forced to run that mission you just autocompleted.

* Ustream: Because the other vowels just didn't have that "star" quality.

* Tonight on Versus... Steelclaw versus Turn Down Girl

* That guy's so Narcissistic he's dating Mirror Spirit.

* Sappers: Only guys in the world who NEVER fall asleep first.

* Turn Down Girl talking to Freakshow: Vibrate, hydraulics and pneumatics you say? I have something at home that does the same thing and I never have to tell it to shut the hell up.

* Rikti leaving Pocket D... "Turn Down Girl: Canine: Female"

* The Real Reason Statesman Hates Recluse: Helmet envy.

* Scirocco: It's not really nercrophelia if the dead chick can still walk and talk is it? Is it? Oh, come on guys...

* Scirocco's original name was Imad... after his emo conversion he has legally changed it to Isad.

* I was thinking of making up a Fusionette Task Force but honestly it was just 10 missions of "rescue Fusionette from..." before you put her out of your misery by killing her yourself in the last mission. Let's face it... if ever there was a legitimate reason for switching from hero towards villain it's her.

Villain side contacts have always irked me to some extent because you're always working FOR someone who is more powerful than you. What makes it worse is that several of the contacts treat you like dirt. I'm sorry, but if my villain's back story is they are a megalomaniac bent on world domination, I can't really see them blithely accepting rudeness or condescension from anyone.

This suggestion is directed more towards the possibility of City of Heroes/Villains 2 rather than the current system. The game as it is now is too inundated with established contacts to change it very much.

I want sycophants.

Why can't villains have contacts who are actually toadies? Why can't I FEEL like a powerful, evil character by speaking with a guy who is snivelling and pawing in terror/adoration at my cape hem? You wouldn't have to re-do the game, just write the contact as "Hey boss, I been sniffin' around for jobs likes ya said... I think I found somethin' youze might be interested in..."

There are thousands of excellent examples of toadies or Lieutenants in literature and comic book lore. Snivellers, backstabbers, opportunists, faithful henchmen, cool 2nd in commands... the list goes on and on.

I can understand why a 1st/2nd level villain in the Rogue Isles would fall under a strong and commanding Contact. But around 15th to 20th level we should see a definite swing from "I'm working FOR my contact" to "My contact is working for me."

Even finishing out all of a contact's missions could have good story telling possibilities. Say you have a contact in St Martial who is trying to help your character in a violent take-over of one of the Casinos there. He does your investigative work and brings you word on the street about who you should be targeting, etc. When you reach the end of his arc you put him in charge of managing the newly acquired casino while you extend your reach elsewhere.

Heck, if I REALLY wanted to enhance the story line I would create a list of random replies if you ever check back with him. Maybe he tells you how the Casino is producing, gives you quarterly reports or advises you that he killed a mob boss who was sniffing too close to the goods. Anything but the same "You've outgrown me, now leave me alone" message.

Another aspect of making Villainous contacts into your toadies is the possibility of them betraying you for their own advantage at the ends of their story arcs. Why not? They're villains too, aren't they? And I don't mean you have to kill them off. Maybe they run away and appear again in some other sycophant's story line.

Imagine that... you just gained a magical talisman from the Circle of Thorns... you hand the item to your "trusted" servant to place in your personal vault when they disappear with it... literally. Then the game pops up a small window asking if you wish to let him go or pursue the little back-stabbing lick-spittle. You click "VENGEANCE!" and up pops a new window introducing you to yet another contact who will provide you with a story arc (hopefully) leading you to your prey.

I'm tired of my villains feeling like servants and/or bargain basement heroes. A little re-writing for some new subservient contacts would be greatly appreciated.

I would like to have the system automatically check the player's most recent Veteran badge in certain situations.

Specifically, I want it to check Vet status of the player whenever those lovely PvP zone, University Dean, MA Manager and so on talks pop up.

I want the system to look at our badges and say "oh my... this person has the 36 month badge... perhaps they're ALREADY aware that they can go to Bloody Bay at their current level range..."

Please... for the love of sanity... please...

No, I still haven’t actually run one of the Incarnate Trials… this is just a little oddment that occurred to me…



Bailiff Man: This court will now come to order. The Honorable Captain Judgment presiding.

Captain Judgment: Sit down everyone, let’s get this over with, I apparently have over a hundred of these fool things to get through. Let’s see here… oh… what a surprise… Case Number 1308274… Well of Furies versus Marvie-Man.

Marvie-Man: It was supposed to be Marvelous Man but that one was taken.

CJ: I’ve got a long day Movie Fan…

MM: Marvie-Man…

CJ: So why don’t we keep these little asides to a minimum, hmm? Just answer the questions and I’ll pass my judgment and we can all get on with our lives. Sound good, Marzipan?

MM: It was Marvie-Man… did you hear me say my name is Marvie-Man?

CJ: Bailiff… club the defendant like a harp seal, would you please?

MM: I mean Sounds Good! Sounds like a great idea your Honor!

CJ: Excellent. Now, according to the docket you are accused of taking powers from the Plaintiff Well of the Furies without permission or prior agreement. The Plaintiff is demanding those powers be given back or else he will press criminal charges against you. How do you plea?

MM: Not Guilty, your Honor.

CJ: Very well. Tell your side of the story, if you please.

MM: I had just completed this long, team mission against the forces of Praetoria when all of a sudden I realized I had attracted the Notice of the Well of the Furies! It was then that I started getting the powers of an Incarnate! It was totally awesome.

CJ: Let me get this straight… you realized the Well had NOTICED you…

MM: Yes, sir.

CJ: And the fact that it noticed you left you feeling justified in stealing its powers from it?

MM: Ummm… well… that’s not exactly how it… I mean… if you put it that way it sounds pretty… er…

CJ: I’m noticing you right now Marlboro Man, does that justify you trying to steal something from ME?

MM: No! No, your Honor! I’m a super hero… a HERO… I never steal from others… I’m one of the good guys!

CJ: I’m not sure that your victim the Well of the Furies would feel the same way, son. But, that’s beside the point. I find in judgment of the Well of the Furies. Now comes the real question. You going to give those powers back willingly?

MM: What?! Give… give my powers back? Give back… my… my Precious? No… no… we loves the Precious… we shants give it back… not back to the filthy thieveses…

CJ: Very well. The court, in accordance with the Well of the Furies wishes, officially presses criminal charges against Maverick Man…

MM: That’s Marvie-Ma… hey wait… Maverick Man… I like that… maybe I can purchase a name change token…

CJ: Stay focused, son. You have been charged with theft of super powers and the court finds you guilty of the same…

MM: That was quick.

CJ: I’ve got a case load the size of Texas and an ulcer I’ve nicknamed Boomtown… I’m not in the mood to dilly-dally. Sentencing for the crime shall now commence. Marvie-Man…

MM: That’s Maverick Man, your honor.

CJ: (Long pause while he wrestles with homicidal impulses.) Fine. YOU. THE GUILTY ONE WITH THE PINK SPANDEX TIGHTS. Your sentence shall be six shifts towards Vigilante status. You shall also lose any accumulated temp powers due to loyalty to heroic ideals. This case is closed.

MM: That’s it? Six shifts towards Vigilante? No prison time… Not even any community service?

CJ: Son, this is Paragon City… No one ever goes to jail here. Even the petty criminals just fade out to be recycled back onto the streets in a few minutes. And as far as community service… heh… have you ever gotten paid for one rescue, one defeat of some power hungry goon?

MM: Well… no… I get influence but you can’t even get a cheap cheeseburger with that these days…

CJ: (Smiling a very wide, very predatory, leering grin.) Then son… you been doing “Community Service” from the moment you stepped into Outbreak.

Bailiff Man: Our next case is ready to go, your Honor… Well of Furies versus The Fuschia Crusader.

CJ: Crud… see ‘em in… I can see where this is going… I get the feeling these cases are gonna be even worse than the Jell-O Gelatin Brand Products versus Hamidon case.

Wow... now THIS has been a tangent worthy of Zwillinger on U-Stream... very topical... nicely done.

The Cult of Lanaru the Mad.

The powers are all chaos-based. Very random with sometimes unexpected results. Think Secondary Mutation but a lot more dynamic.

The lower tier powers are pretty standard, bolts, melee attacks, etc but the type of energy they release is random. So you could use Chaos Fist three times in a row and get smashing/fire, smashing/negative and smashing/ice along with the continuing damage, to hit debuff and slow effects. You have no control over the secondary effect since the Cult emphasizes madness and entropy.

Mid Tier powers get into control sets but, once again, you don't know if you're going to get a hold, immobilize, sleep or stun out of the deal.

High Tier powers are the most dangerous but also the most rewarding. These powers are of a Reality Warping class. For example you might have a power called Fire Cataclysm which can (randomly) do unbelievable single opp damage, impressive targeted AoE or PBAoE damage, summon three Fire Elementals as temporary allies, fill the entire area with flames that do on-going minor damage over time but don't run out... until you leave the mission... or turn your character into a pyric version of themselves with high defensive powers.

Because of the disadvantage of the chaos you have a harder time establishing strategy or tactics based on your powers, but heck... you're a Cult follower of Lanaru the Mad... not exactly a bastion of pre-planning here. To make up for this, however, you don't need to harness powers or take time crafting them carefully so the general animation times and recharge times are substantially faster than other sets.

...

.....

.......

And yes... I am forced to agree it is not surprising that *I* of all people came up with this idea for an EAT/VEAT.

Would anyone be interested in a Booster Pack made specifically with travel powers in mind?

Flight:

Energy/Elemental Wings: only appear when Fly or Hover are activated. They will have both an activation and deactivation animation as well as normal flight animations. They will be color tintable.

Fledgling Flier: Not very confident or good at it. Flails around in the air a lot, little dips and lifts and occassional spins. Flight speed is not affected by any of this, but you won't look too pretty using it. Think Greatest America Hero.

Ride 'Em Cowboy: various things to fly upon. Rather than flying yourself, you can stand on a flying carpet, ride a broom, etc. Nothing too taxing graphically... so no pegasus... object also vanishes upon flight/hover being toggled off.

Super Jump:

Spring into Action: giant cartoon springs out of the bottoms of your shoes or a nuclear powered pogo stick come to mind for this. All items hidden when Super Jump not toggled. Not available for Combat Jump.

Impact Craters: Temporary impact craters appear wherever you land while using Super Jump (not combat jump). These craters are graphical overlays only and do not actually affect the environment. They disappear after a very short period of time.

Follow the Bouncing Hero: Since we have trail auras with the new Steampunk pack, how about trail auras for travel powers? Super Jump causes character to leave a trail of color, smoke, energy, etc behind them in an arc from their jumping. The trail fades approximately 1 1/2 arcs behind. And we would definitely have to have Rainbow as one of the options with this one.

Super Speed:

Stanley Cup Hopeful: Instead of running the speedster moves like a speed skater. For effect the emote creates a "sheet" of energy, ice, tintable flooring under the character as they go to make it look as though they are creating a frictionless plane beneath them. The plane disappears soon after the player passes.

That's Cheating!: Rocket powered roller skates, hover skates, skateboards, etc. Same animation as the speed skating one above but with apparatus on their feet.

Along for the Ride: While the player moves at super speed and is tethered to the ground, they're not actually running. Energy surrounds their feet, or some small robotic/magical effect does all the work. The character simply stands there, arms crossed and relaxed, as they zoom along at above the posted speed limit.

Teleport:

Incoming Wormhole: Mechanical or Magical ring hovering in midair around the character is what moves them. (For visual reference think miniature StarGate) The ring appears first then the character when arriving. The character vanishes first then ring when departing.

Scotty We Need to Discuss Your Aim: Instead of a bampf cloud of smoke you disappear/reappear in a sparkling shimmer with neat soft sound pitches.

Little Help From My Friends: Creatures aid in your transport. Imps cluster on your shoulders, tentacles emerge from some hideous pocket dimension, microbots latch on, etc. They grab you and yank you through a series of dimensional rifts towards your final destination.

In addition to the emotes there would likely be a few travel-inspired costume pieces including but not limited to High Tech Footwear, Animated Footwear, "I <3 Paragon" tourist t-shirts, Bermuda shirts and shorts, etc.

Finally, (and here I admit I'm pushing it a little), the booster pack would give you a second option for each of the travel sets' final tier power. You still have to spend a power slot on it but it gives you another option with which to play.

Flight: Afterburner - Toggling on Afterburner while Fly is toggled will effectively double your flight speed at the cost of both maneuverability and endurance. The endurance cost of Afterburner is high and can not be lowered via enhancements. Once toggled the character will be unable to turn while flying. They fly in a straight line at high speeds until they either turn Afterburner off, hit an object (building, war wall, etc) which toggles the power off or run out of endurance. This power takes a long time to recharge between uses.

Super Jump: Ground Pound - While in mid air using either Super Jump or Combat Jump, the player can click Ground Pound which completely halts all further forward progress and plummets the character to the ground directly beneath them. Impact crater graphics appear. Enemies take five times the damage the character takes from falling in PBAoE pattern with a high chance of stunning enemies. Ground Pound has a moderate recharge time (similar to other PBAoE stun powers)

Super Speed: Dash and Lash - Target opponent within melee range. Character runs around and around target with rope, wrapping them up quite snuggly. Hold attack with no damage. If the ropes around the enemy are too much of a challenge graphically then same move but the victim is left dizzy and stunned from the spinning until they can recover.

Teleport: Beacon Teleport - This is a two part teleport power. Let's say the player arrives in Skyway City via train and needs to go get a distant badge. At the train depot they click Beacon Teleport which activates an animation similar to placing a mine and can leave the same sort of mine graphic as the Devices power. The player goes off and collects their badge then keys Beacon Teleport again. This time the power simply brings them back to the location of the first click. The beacon is destroyed by this process. Very long recharge time. The Beacon Teleport will work across zones and in any way the Mission Teleporter power would work. The beacon will be lost if the character logs out and can not be used by a dead/defeated character.

Would anyone buy a pack like this?

Well.... I live in Maine... which is trapped between Boston and Canada...

Still... I AM an American so I guess I should cheer for the Bruins...

On the other hand... I've always loved a solid underdog story....

Wait a second here...

I don't even like hockey!

Bah to your clever Canadian hypnotism techniques!

Originally Zwillinger expressed interest in reading some Top Ten lists provided by me on the weekly Ustreams so I submitted some. Our contract stipulated the intellectual license would revert to me if the lists weren't used within a certain amount of time and since I haven't heard him read one, I'm gonna post it here with a few additions I've thought of in the meantime.

So, without further ado... The Expanded Past the Top Ten List of Things You Won't See on the Weekly U-Stream (other than my top ten lists... heh)

* In Office PvP in the form of office chair jousting.

* It's "Dress Like Your Favorite Banished Pantheon Shaman" Wednesday!

* A reading of Lanaru the Mad’s love poetry.

* Future Incarnate developments explained by Matt Miller by way of interpretive dance.

* Web cam set up of Black Pebble eating lunch. No commentary... just him eating.

* Any picture from David Nakayama’s “Private” collection.

* Zwietag giving a dissertation on why German cooking is the best food in the world.

* A person in full X-Wing Pilot gear insisting "Stay on Target!" everytime Zwillinger goes off on (another) tangent.

* Anyone from marketing giving a straight answer.

* The marketing guy just off screen with the gun in case someone ELSE tries to give a straight answer.

* Nude Hamidon Wrestling.

* Arbiter Fabulous doing a live critique of in-office fashion.

* The Cap'n Kraken Catering Service's lunch buffet eating half the staff before finally being subdued.

* Exciting, gripping drama in the form of Extreeeeme Coding!

* The nameless guy sharing Zwillinger's cubicle snapping and turning to scream "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" over and over again.

* Favorite movie scene re-enactment with Protean as Indiana Jones and Zwillinger as Short Round.

* Avatea and War Witch – Two Girls, One Cut Scene.

Magnificent!

/e toss_longstem_rose

* comparison between this thread and the horridly derailed thread that spawned it

* point made that this thread is still alive while that one has gone the way of the Dodo.

* expression of hope for humanity that fun out lives conflict in most cases

* admission of affection for fellow forumites and realization of just why poster has hung around this madhouse for so long.

* suggestion to developers that most of the posts in this thread could be used as a template for a new language structure for another alien species to oppose the Rikti

If I'd designed the Incarnate System...

* It would be available from first level because... umm... I don't have a 50th level character.

* It would have deeply involved the gods and actual mythology... although getting Aphrodite and similar dieties to obey the Teen rating may have been tricky.

* Three words: Spreadsheet Booster Pack.

* In any way employing the Incarnate system automatically enters you in my Tournament complete with automatic scoring of your character and world-wide comparison with all other Tournament characters.

* Changes in the Tournament rules will result in complete deletion of ALL tournament characters and a world-wide "reset."

* Would not have set much of the Incarnate System in Praetoria since you are kicked out of Praetoria at 20th level so NO Praetorian can actually ever qualify for the existing Incarnate System.

Obligatory notice of crimson nomenclatured responses to thread; dated pop culture reference to over-excited oscar winning actress's acknowledgement of affection.

Unasked for and likely unwanted continuation of original list.

* Thinly veiled re-write of another poster's much funnier joke.

* Lame and uninspired continuation of the repeating joke combined with a reference to Waldo and Carmen Sandiego's love child appearing recently on a milk carton.

* Realization that making a second list was ill advised due to lack of even remotely amusing material. Filler joke that makes as much sense as the story line for an old "Communications Rikti Convention" MA farm.

Expression of disappointment that none of the prior posters have thought to make the obligatory reference to a word rhyming with Room but with 85 times as many O's.

Obligatory introductory paragraph including description of thought process behind creation.

* Over-used reference to bus stops without busses.

* Outdated comment about costume contests in Atlas Park.

* Non-funny filler comment while my brain struggles to find the next "real" zinger.

* Introduction of list-spanning repeating joke.

* Joke so obscure only myself and certain brain damaged chimpanzees would get it... not necessarily think it's funny... just get it.

* Out of date pop culture reference lost on anyone under the age of thirty.

* Second installment of list spanning repeating joke.

* Joke recycled from past list(s), dusted off and twisted slightly to fit in this description.

* Non-sensical attempt at humor for the sole purpose of filling in a spot so the list will be ten items rather than nine, actually written last but slapped into the ninth spot so the repeating joke is in the tenth.

* Final installment of the repeating joke; hopefully the funniest of them. Hopefully.

Closing statements and reference to hiding from or fearing potential retribution from readers.

Um, you folks DO realize that I haven't played a single Trial yet, right? I don't have a 50th level character so I haven't experience one with the Incarnate content. I haven't unlocked an Alpha Slot... I wouldn't know an Alpha Slot if it walked up, cocked a leg on my shoe and howled in victory over the fact.

I'm not normally in the habit of defending my posts because I so very rarely try to make a point with them or I just bury my point in a deep pile of subtle or irony.

But, since everyone seems to be polarizing over this little "comedic" playlet, I'll give 'er a go.

1) I did NOT mock the Incarnate Trials or System. I have not actually played any of it, so I don't feel qualified to make judgments or accusations about it.

2) This was NOT a negative post. People, the gaming industry is a BUSINESS. Their primary objective is to stay alive in a highly competitive field. Yes, I believe that some of their marketing people had a similar discussion to what I wrote, but I don't necessarily think that is a BAD thing. If it keeps the game I love around a little longer, then I am all for it.

3) I am at least 90% grinder. The guy I described playing the same room of an RPG for months and months in order to get the main character from 10th to 83rd level early in the game was ME. I've done this many times. Heck, I even do this to some extent with CoH. With all the times I've restarted my tournament I've practically memorized early content. So, when I say the marketing team has targeted grinders it's with some pride... I rarely get that kind of attention from game designers.

4) When I wrote the post it was more in the nature of "Why would the marketing department choose this strategy for keeping players?" than "I hate the Incarnate System and want to write an inflamatory post about it." Like I said... I haven't played the Incarnate stuff yet, though with a 42nd level character I'm closing in on it. I would suggest that perhaps some of you (not all) have been projecting your own feelings about the system into what I wrote.

Now, if you'll excuse me I need to go take a shower. I HATE the oily, itchy feeling I get from being neck-deep in a serious post.

I shall attempt most valiantly to make my point and adhere to the Teen rating at the same time...

(Deep breath... hold it... exhale...)

Okay...

I like the new Clunker aura with the trail effect. Very nice. I also greatly appreciate being able to use it on more violent characters as though they were leaving a "trail of blood" behind them by using the appropriate colors.

However...

I have a twisted mind... it's both a blessing and a curse that everything I see I tend to twist around to either humorous or macabre ends. I can't help it.

Since this game has a Teen rating I won't blurt out my ACTUAL first thoughts when I saw a Bass-Ackward's 4th picture on the 2nd page of this thread.

I WILL say, however, that she should only use that aura every 28 days.